To Max

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To Max

Post by goodcitizn on Sat Jun 01, 2013 1:02 pm

Here's a poem I wrote from my own experience in getting a pup for my child.

PUPPY LOVE

I had promised a puppy when my son turned five
In keeping with my word, I took him for a drive
My wife stayed home in a restless state of stupor
She imagined a big dog, her with the pooper-scooper

We drove to many kennels, our journey bore no fruit
The season seemed too frigid for a doggedly pursuit
So all through the winter my missus had us reading
Magazines on dachshunds and dogs of mini-breeding

Then with the tulips and robins came Spring
Our puppy search was unleashed in one giant swing
The pet stores were teeming with pups of all sizes
The nomenclature of the breeds held a few surprises

Cock-a-poo seemed simple, Spaniel and Poodle
Scottie X we reasoned as Terrier and oodle
Chow-a-Box was certainly no carry-out Chinese
Peek-a-Boo was probably Pitbull and Pikenese!

Regardless of the choices not a single mutt came through
My son loathed the lickers, the wetters turned him blue
We left the shopping mall somewhat sullen in our plight
Now headed for a kennel club, we took a dogleg right

The kennel sure was littered with a hundred kindly cur
The variety was breathtaking in color, shape and fur
There were toy-breeds and lap-dogs of every pedigree
From chihuahuas to shih tsus, all tugging at the knee

There amidst the colony of canines roamed my son
Probing through the pricely pack of puppies one by one
Meantime in my wanderings I chanced upon a browser
Miniature and black, a most magnificent Schnauzer

Hopping up with joy of having picked a perfect critter
I hurried forth to show my child my pick of the litter
But thereupon I saw him with a growler, not a smiler
The creature he had chosen was an awesome Rottweiler

The picture of the quadruped was posted on the wall
The monster bore no likeness to a dog, first of all
The Germans had them bred for centuries on end
To be a soldier of war, not a man's best friend!

I pleaded with my son, reproached him as a parent
No bribery would sway the mind of my heir-apparent
The Schnauzer he agreed to but the Rott was his best
I bought them both to terminate the tiresome puppy quest

The homefront was wrought with the fury of my spouse
She entertained no reasons for two mongrels in the house
Heart-rending appeals followed, she finally did concede
And then came the question of the dreaded dog's breed

The Schnauzer was no problem, the statistics were legal
The other pup I portrayed as part Basset and part Beagle
She quizzed me on the size of the cruel-looking bounder
My estimate when fully grown was a tiny twenty pounder!

Weeks went on when not a care was bestowed on my brow
House-breaking kept us loitering the sidewalks anyhow
Sheera was the Schnauzer and she never had us bitchin'
Crockett was the carefree male who pottied in the kitchen

Soon the teething season came, the bones were not enough
The rascals they were gnawing on the furniture and stuff
We kept them barricaded, thought nothing of their groans
Until the time when Crockett found his erogenous zones!

My better half then took the dogs for a hormone scrutiny
It marked the day when darker clouds eclipsed my destiny
The vet had shown the picture of a pedigree Rott to her
Instantly she rang me up, her words spewed fire and slur!

I was hounded by guilt feelings, I felt harrier than hell
My throat was a little 'husky, my nerves a-pinscher as well
No logic nor repentance would shepherd me from her wrath
For I had lied exponentially to the power of N in math

Past a brief spell of cold war, we reached a compromise
We'd find a home for Crockett, not sell him for a price
Meantime I should enlist him in a nearby training school
And have him coached repeatedly on every doggedy rule

The whelp he learned quickly and he mastered every drill
He progressed like a student of perfection, if you will
He sat, stayed, heeled and obeyed, a dog so well tutored
After eight weeks of training we also got him neutered

The word-of-mouth soon got around, we felt a few nibbles
But they were new to puppy dogs, new to Bits & Kibbles
Then one day like in a fairy tale my friend in Denver said
They'd love to have the rowdy Rott very gladly in their stead

Crockett now is in Colorado in a house with a six acre lot
Where he and their tawny horse take an occasional trot
He is happy and cared for, there is nothing more to tell
These are verses out of puppy love in a poetic doggerel!

goodcitizn

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Re: To Max

Post by Impedimenta on Sat Jun 01, 2013 1:19 pm

oh wow! pramAdham! that's it. i am getting a puppy:-)

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Re: To Max

Post by goodcitizn on Sat Jun 01, 2013 1:44 pm

Impedimenta wrote:oh wow! pramAdham! that's it. i am getting a puppy:-)

Do get one. You'll have so much fun and exercise that you'll be even more invigorated for your dance performances. Great for kids too.

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Re: To Max

Post by Rishi on Sat Jun 01, 2013 2:25 pm

Impedimenta wrote:oh wow! pramAdham! that's it. i am getting a puppy:-)

1. Do you think you have the time and energy to walk the dog at least four times a day?

2. Do you think you will take the dog to the vet regularly for shots and when he or she gets sick?

3. What will you do when the dog wakes you up in the middle of the night, moans or barks indicating he or she wants to go outside to pee or defecate?

4. Are you going to leave the dog alone for 10 hours at home and go to work? Don't you think it is cruel to expect the dog to hold for 10 hours whereas you go to bathroom at work every two hours? How will you solve this problem?

5. What will you do with the dog when you go away for days on vacation to India or elsewhere?

6. A dog needs to meet other dogs and play. Otherwise it will get depressed. Are there any dog parks near where you live? If there is one, are you willing to take the dog there at least on the weekends and let it play with other dogs?

7, What will you do when the dog has an accident because he cannot hold anymore or has an upset stomach. Will you punish the dog because it spoiled your carpet and you have to steam clean it?

8. What if the dog has separation anxiety when you are away at work? You come home and find that he has torn apart furniture or scratched the door trying to look for you?
And what if your neighbors complain that your dog barks incessantly because he or she is sad you left him or her at home alone?

9. Do you have the time and energy to take your dog for training classes ?

10. WIll you be kind enough to get your dog neutered or spayed so that he or she will not create unwanted puppies?

11. Will you be nice and not physically punish or yell at the dog when you are in a rush and the animal does not listen to you?

More questions later.

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Re: To Max

Post by MaxEntropy_Man on Sat Jun 01, 2013 8:30 pm

haha, didn't see this till now. good read, nice story! rotties are scary but i have also seen some fairly docile ones.

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Re: To Max

Post by pravalika nanda on Sat Jun 01, 2013 10:26 pm

Rishi wrote:
Impedimenta wrote:oh wow! pramAdham! that's it. i am getting a puppy:-)

1. Do you think you have the time and energy to walk the dog at least four times a day?

2. Do you think you will take the dog to the vet regularly for shots and when he or she gets sick?

3. What will you do when the dog wakes you up in the middle of the night, moans or barks indicating he or she wants to go outside to pee or defecate?

4. Are you going to leave the dog alone for 10 hours at home and go to work? Don't you think it is cruel to expect the dog to hold for 10 hours whereas you go to bathroom at work every two hours? How will you solve this problem?

5. What will you do with the dog when you go away for days on vacation to India or elsewhere?

6. A dog needs to meet other dogs and play. Otherwise it will get depressed. Are there any dog parks near where you live? If there is one, are you willing to take the dog there at least on the weekends and let it play with other dogs?

7, What will you do when the dog has an accident because he cannot hold anymore or has an upset stomach. Will you punish the dog because it spoiled your carpet and you have to steam clean it?

8. What if the dog has separation anxiety when you are away at work? You come home and find that he has torn apart furniture or scratched the door trying to look for you?
And what if your neighbors complain that your dog barks incessantly because he or she is sad you left him or her at home alone?

9. Do you have the time and energy to take your dog for training classes ?

10. WIll you be kind enough to get your dog neutered or spayed so that he or she will not create unwanted puppies?

11. Will you be nice and not physically punish or yell at the dog when you are in a rush and the animal does not listen to you?

More questions later.
12. Will the dog have an upanayanam?
13. Will you teach the dog bharathanatyam?

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Re: To Max

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