Parenting question

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Parenting question

Post by Guest on Sat May 10, 2014 7:11 pm

How does one deal with a soon to be sophomore in college who is all confused about what he wants to be? He goes back and forth between different career options, but can't decide what he really wants. Should we as parents take a firm stand and guide him in a path which we think is best for him? I have a feeling he probably wants us to decide for him and save him the agony. Is that a right thing to do?

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Re: Parenting question

Post by Kris on Sat May 10, 2014 7:51 pm

Kinnera wrote:How does one deal with a soon to be sophomore in college who is all confused about what he wants to be? He goes back and forth between different career options, but can't decide what he really wants. Should we as parents take a firm stand and guide him in a path which we think is best for him? I have a feeling he probably wants us to decide for him and save him the agony. Is that a right thing to do?

>>>Based on how he did in school, figure out his strong subjects. Look in the school catalog for majors related to that and have him look at the type of courses for that major. Let him use that as his starting point and he will feel his way through it. If he still is not sure, have him knock out his general ed classes while he is thinking about it. I wouldn't stress or have him stress over taking an extra semester or two, if that is the result of him taking a few extra classes or changing majors.

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Re: Parenting question

Post by Guest on Sat May 10, 2014 9:23 pm

Kris wrote:
Kinnera wrote:How does one deal with a soon to be sophomore in college who is all confused about what he wants to be? He goes back and forth between different career options, but can't decide what he really wants. Should we as parents take a firm stand and guide him in a path which we think is best for him? I have a feeling he probably wants us to decide for him and save him the agony. Is that a right thing to do?

>>>Based on how he did in school, figure out his strong subjects. Look in the school catalog for majors related to that and have him look at the type of courses for that major. Let him use that as his starting point and he will feel his way through it. If he still is not sure, have him knock out his general ed classes while he is thinking about it. I wouldn't stress or have him stress over taking an extra semester or two, if that is the result of him taking a few extra classes or changing majors.
He's debating between a career in comp sciences vs medicine, kris. He did very well in all the subjects except AP computer sciences in school. He said that's because he did a virtual course (his HS didn't have a teacher for that subject, so he ended up taking a virtual course). Ironically, he set out to major in CS in college. But after two semesters of CS courses, he doesn't seem too excited about it.

He did very well in sciences in school and enjoyed doing them. So he now wonders if he should go into medicine. But the long years of study is what's discouraging him. He doesn't want to be almost 30 before he can get a job. He's getting frustrated on deciding what to do. It's a different story with his brother. He's clear about what he wants.

Don't know if my husband and I should assure, encourage and gear him into the second option and be firm on it.

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Re: Parenting question

Post by truthbetold on Sat May 10, 2014 10:00 pm

Kinnera,

Most college kids go through that confused period.  

My two cents:

Guide him without him feeling forced.  Present options and tell stories of your life experiences.  Firmness is required if kid is losing track due to drugs and other youthful indiscretions. Otherwise dinner table conversations are the best.  Do not expect a decision in one or two rounds.  Remember it is their life. 

Only you will know if your kid need to be told to stick to the plan or not. Mine would not like that approach. 

Preparing for medical studies is a mighty effort.  But if he makes a serious effort and still does not want to go through medical school, the effort he puts in is not going to go waste. He can put that knowledge to use in many different directions.

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Re: Parenting question

Post by Kris on Sun May 11, 2014 1:09 am

Kinnera wrote:
Kris wrote:
Kinnera wrote:How does one deal with a soon to be sophomore in college who is all confused about what he wants to be? He goes back and forth between different career options, but can't decide what he really wants. Should we as parents take a firm stand and guide him in a path which we think is best for him? I have a feeling he probably wants us to decide for him and save him the agony. Is that a right thing to do?

>>>Based on how he did in school, figure out his strong subjects. Look in the school catalog for majors related to that and have him look at the type of courses for that major. Let him use that as his starting point and he will feel his way through it. If he still is not sure, have him knock out his general ed classes while he is thinking about it. I wouldn't stress or have him stress over taking an extra semester or two, if that is the result of him taking a few extra classes or changing majors.
He's debating between a career in comp sciences vs medicine, kris. He did very well in all the subjects except AP computer sciences in school. He said that's because he did a virtual course (his HS didn't have a teacher for that subject, so he ended up taking a virtual course). Ironically, he set out to major in CS in college. But after two semesters of CS courses, he doesn't seem too excited about it.

He did very well in sciences in school and enjoyed doing them. So he now wonders if he should go into medicine. But the long years of study is what's discouraging him. He doesn't want to be almost 30 before he can get a job. He's getting frustrated on deciding what to do. It's a different story with his brother. He's clear about what he wants.

Don't know if my husband and I should assure, encourage and gear him into the second option and be firm on it.

>>>Since he is astute enough to narrow his choices to two areas, it doesn't seem like he is lost in the wilderness. Encourage him to take another semester or so to think about it. Just to keep his options open, perhaps he can take a couple of pre med courses in the meantime- maybe summer and fall. Have him figure out or you or his school counselor can figure out if those courses can fit some general ed requirement. Didn't you say his brother got into  med school recently? Could that have got him thinking about medicine? Nothing wrong with that, but it could be a phase too.

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Re: Parenting question

Post by Guest on Sun May 11, 2014 7:29 am

truthbetold wrote:Kinnera,

Most college kids go through that confused period.  

My two cents:

Guide him without him feeling forced.  Present options and tell stories of your life experiences.  Firmness is required if kid is losing track due to drugs and other youthful indiscretions. Otherwise dinner table conversations are the best.  Do not expect a decision in one or two rounds.  Remember it is their life. 

Only you will know if your kid need to be told to stick to the plan or not. Mine would not like that approach. 

Preparing for medical studies is a mighty effort.  But if he makes a serious effort and still does not want to go through medical school, the effort he puts in is not going to go waste. He can put that knowledge to use in many different directions.
Thanks TBT. No, he's usually headstrong, believes he knows what he wants and doesn't listen to anyone. But this time he is so confused and frustrated that he's throwing his hands up and looking up to us for guidance.

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Re: Parenting question

Post by Guest on Sun May 11, 2014 7:48 am

Kris wrote:
>>>Since he is astute enough to narrow his choices to two areas, it doesn't seem like he is lost in the wilderness. Encourage him to take another semester or so to think about it. Just to keep his options open, perhaps he can take a couple of pre med courses in the meantime- maybe summer and fall. Have him figure out or you or his school counselor can figure out if those courses can fit some general ed requirement. Didn't you say his brother got into  med school recently? Could that have got him thinking about medicine? Nothing wrong with that, but it could be a phase too.
Actually, he's not too sure about either options, Kris. We are throwing a lot of other career options, but nothing seems to interest him. We are still exploring and keeping his options open.

Ya, his brother's is what has triggered him into thinking in the lines of medicine. It may as well be a passing phase. We had him sign up for pre-med courses for the summer semester. But does an interest in sciences convert to an interest in a career in medicine? He needs to shadow some doctors, i guess.

He's also very interested in social studies. He loved his AP world history class more than any other class. (He was also nominated by his HS for the Presidential scholars program for social studies when he was in 10th grade). He is up to date with the current US and international affairs and loves to analyze and discuss them. He took a philosophy course last semester and enjoyed it. I am wondering what career options are available for kids with a passion for social studies and its related subjects.

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Re: Parenting question

Post by Kris on Sun May 11, 2014 11:33 am

Kinnera wrote:
Kris wrote:
>>>Since he is astute enough to narrow his choices to two areas, it doesn't seem like he is lost in the wilderness. Encourage him to take another semester or so to think about it. Just to keep his options open, perhaps he can take a couple of pre med courses in the meantime- maybe summer and fall. Have him figure out or you or his school counselor can figure out if those courses can fit some general ed requirement. Didn't you say his brother got into  med school recently? Could that have got him thinking about medicine? Nothing wrong with that, but it could be a phase too.
Actually, he's not too sure about either options, Kris. We are throwing a lot of other career options, but nothing seems to interest him. We are still exploring and keeping his options open.

Ya, his brother's is what has triggered him into thinking in the lines of medicine. It may as well be a passing phase. We had him sign up for pre-med courses for the summer semester. But does an interest in sciences convert to an interest in a career in medicine? He needs to shadow some doctors, i guess.

He's also very interested in social studies. He loved his AP world history class more than any other class. (He was also nominated by his HS for the Presidential scholars program for social studies when he was in 10th grade). He is up to date with the current US and international affairs and loves to analyze and discuss them. He took a philosophy course last semester and enjoyed it. I am wondering what career options are available for kids with a passion for social studies and its related subjects.

>>>If he is a high achiever in terms of grades, there are various options. I can think of the following: poli sci...> law school, biotech, creating his own interdisciplinary program with his guidance counselor's help. He has got some time and in  away, it is good that he is trying to figure this out now since it is still early enough in the game and secondly, he is thinking about what he wants to do rather than blindly following some routine path.

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Re: Parenting question

Post by Kris on Sun May 11, 2014 11:55 am

Kris wrote:
Kinnera wrote:
Kris wrote:
>>>Since he is astute enough to narrow his choices to two areas, it doesn't seem like he is lost in the wilderness. Encourage him to take another semester or so to think about it. Just to keep his options open, perhaps he can take a couple of pre med courses in the meantime- maybe summer and fall. Have him figure out or you or his school counselor can figure out if those courses can fit some general ed requirement. Didn't you say his brother got into  med school recently? Could that have got him thinking about medicine? Nothing wrong with that, but it could be a phase too.
Actually, he's not too sure about either options, Kris. We are throwing a lot of other career options, but nothing seems to interest him. We are still exploring and keeping his options open.

Ya, his brother's is what has triggered him into thinking in the lines of medicine. It may as well be a passing phase. We had him sign up for pre-med courses for the summer semester. But does an interest in sciences convert to an interest in a career in medicine? He needs to shadow some doctors, i guess.

He's also very interested in social studies. He loved his AP world history class more than any other class. (He was also nominated by his HS for the Presidential scholars program for social studies when he was in 10th grade). He is up to date with the current US and international affairs and loves to analyze and discuss them. He took a philosophy course last semester and enjoyed it. I am wondering what career options are available for kids with a passion for social studies and its related subjects.

>>>If he is a high achiever in terms of grades, there are various options. I can think of the following: poli sci...> law school, biotech, creating his own interdisciplinary program with his guidance counselor's help. He has got some time and in  away, it is good that he is trying to figure this out now since it is still early enough in the game and secondly, he is thinking about what he wants to do rather than blindly following some routine path.

>>>and also a double major or a major in comp sci/ sciences and a minor in poli sci could be possibilities.

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Re: Parenting question

Post by Guest on Sun May 11, 2014 12:01 pm

Hmm...thanks a ton, Kris. Will explore those possibilities too. I was banking on your wisdom while posting this thread. Smile. Thanks again.

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Independent Headstrong Intelligent Kids? :-)

Post by TruthSeeker on Tue May 20, 2014 11:36 pm

Probably deserves a new thread to discuss parenting of such, but I feel that such kids are a pain in the a-ss! :-)

as for your q kinnu - I personally think that you need to invoke and provoke him one day, to find out what he wants. As a kid, I was told that being in medicine provides you the ability to help the poor, the sick, its noble. Every profession is not about college or number of years but about how one can help society, the world. I am providing a different perspective to see if that invokes or provokes a passion.

regards,
TS.

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