grace under ultimate tragedy and loss

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:

The parents are pleading against the death penalty NOT for humanitarian reasons on behalf of the criminals BUT for their own benefit:

"As long as the defendant is in the spotlight, we have no choice but to live a story told on his terms, not ours. The minute the defendant fades from our newspapers and TV screens is the minute we begin the process of rebuilding our lives and our family."

Not bcz they think these bombers might be found innocent in some distant future, not because their crime does not deserve death penalty but bcz the story willlingness on with appeal after appeal affecting their own lives.

That is why in cases like THIS, the appeal process for death sentences should be short and quick.

Hey...we now even have nitrogen to execute. Just put these criminals under a mask and feed them Nitrogen gas from their Mercedes cars.

Beatrix Kiddo wrote:maybe i should have started another thread instead of diluting the emotions in this link....

you had posted a similar post during that lost airline time too. maybe such attitudes attract you because subconsciously you are trying to train yourself to behave similarly if any minor, or god forbid, major tragedy happens around you. or maybe you have seen people appreciate such a behavior and want to promote it. maybe that's a quest to become more civilized.

i have tried to think of this many times. when someone is going through a deep tragedy like the one above, does it really matter if they were able to display grace at some point, whether right after or two years later? what matters to me is the pain they felt, the new (or old) grief they are trying to adjust to, what are their thoughts, and if i can understand, empathize, or help them. Whether they were graceful expressing that, or whether they beat their chest out, or whether they broke things, the degree of pain that they feel within is still the same, and that's what that matters. It's not fair to comment whether one set is more respect-worthy than another in the same situation.

Likewise, if i am going through a tragedy, i don't want the tension if i should keep a hold of my bearings and display outwardly grace. if it happens, it'll be a natural me, maybe conditioned by my upbringing, or family, or national culture. whatever it is, it's my grief, whether i show it with courage, restrain, bitterness, or passion. (as long as i don't go out on a killing rampage or break law). That's what matters, not someone's judgement on how i portrayed it. 

there are my current thoughts that will churn and evolve more over time, and i will see if i can continue expressing that.

Kinnera wrote:

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:

The parents are pleading against the death penalty NOT for humanitarian reasons on behalf of the criminals BUT for their own benefit:

"As long as the defendant is in the spotlight, we have no choice but to live a story told on his terms, not ours. The minute the defendant fades from our newspapers and TV screens is the minute we begin the process of rebuilding our lives and our family."

Not bcz they think these bombers might be found innocent in some distant future, not because their crime does not deserve death penalty but bcz the story willlingness on with appeal after appeal affecting their own lives.

That is why in cases like THIS, the appeal process for death sentences should be short and quick.

Hey...we now even have nitrogen to execute. Just put these criminals under a mask and feed them Nitrogen gas from their Mercedes cars.

Ya, all that the parents want is a quick closure to this and not have it drag on forever, so they can move on in their lives. They don't want to be reminded and relive the horror over and over again.

The guy is 20 now. To be locked up for decades until the end of his life is horrible, maybe much worse than a quick death penalty. I once saw the guy (oslo?) who killed Dr. King on TV. He was so weak, old, with hands and legs chained. It was so depressing to see him. Horrible! That's no life to live. Life without parole sentencing is pretty brutal actually. It's least bit humanitarian. If the ones who are against death sentencing are under the illusion that they are the most humanitarian ppl on earth for opposing it, the news is that they ain't.

Beatrix Kiddo wrote:maybe i should have started another thread instead of diluting the emotions in this link....

you had posted a similar post during that lost airline time too. maybe such attitudes attract you because subconsciously you are trying to train yourself to behave similarly if any minor, or god forbid, major tragedy happens around you. or maybe you have seen people appreciate such a behavior and want to promote it. maybe that's a quest to become more civilized.

i have tried to think of this many times. when someone is going through a deep tragedy like the one above, does it really matter if they were able to display grace at some point, whether right after or two years later? what matters to me is the pain they felt, the new (or old) grief they are trying to adjust to, what are their thoughts, and if i can understand, empathize, or help them. Whether they were graceful expressing that, or whether they beat their chest out, or whether they broke things, the degree of pain that they feel within is still the same, and that's what that matters. It's not fair to comment whether one set is more respect-worthy than another in the same situation.

Likewise, if i am going through a tragedy, i don't want the tension if i should keep a hold of my bearings and display outwardly grace. if it happens, it'll be a natural me, maybe conditioned by my upbringing, or family, or national culture. whatever it is, it's my grief, whether i show it with courage, restrain, bitterness, or passion. (as long as i don't go out on a killing rampage or break law). That's what matters, not someone's judgement on how i portrayed it. 

there are my current thoughts that will churn and evolve more over time, and i will see if i can continue expressing that.

confuzzled dude wrote:

Kinnera wrote:

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:

The parents are pleading against the death penalty NOT for humanitarian reasons on behalf of the criminals BUT for their own benefit:

"As long as the defendant is in the spotlight, we have no choice but to live a story told on his terms, not ours. The minute the defendant fades from our newspapers and TV screens is the minute we begin the process of rebuilding our lives and our family."

Not bcz they think these bombers might be found innocent in some distant future, not because their crime does not deserve death penalty but bcz the story willlingness on with appeal after appeal affecting their own lives.

That is why in cases like THIS, the appeal process for death sentences should be short and quick.

Hey...we now even have nitrogen to execute. Just put these criminals under a mask and feed them Nitrogen gas from their Mercedes cars.

Ya, all that the parents want is a quick closure to this and not have it drag on forever, so they can move on in their lives. They don't want to be reminded and relive the horror over and over again.

The guy is 20 now. To be locked up for decades until the end of his life is horrible, maybe much worse than a quick death penalty. I once saw the guy (oslo?) who killed Dr. King on TV. He was so weak, old, with hands and legs chained. It was so depressing to see him. Horrible! That's no life to live. Life without parole sentencing is pretty brutal actually. It's least bit humanitarian. If the ones who are against death sentencing are under the illusion that they are the most humanitarian ppl on earth for opposing it, the news is that they ain't.

Nice twist there! NRA gang uses similar (il)logic