inheritance

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inheritance

Post by t w on Fri Jul 14, 2017 10:14 am

you pass on your genes to them
theories say mostly good ones
you can pass on your inheritance
you can make the best decisions
or give the best advice
you can even earn some good karma
and have them reap the benefits
but there's still one thing
that will bring you to your knees
that will make you want to believe
that one thing you cannot pass on
that one thing you can't create
and that's their destiny


When I was growing up and got any setback, after everything was said and done, there's one thing my dad would say finally. 'Believe in your destiny. Just know that it's good. Just know that nothing can change it. And so whatever is happening right now, it's either temporary, or it's happening to take you there'. I used to always wonder, how the heck he knows what my destiny is. Why does he think it's good? What if it is bad, and whatever is happening right now is working towards making it ultimately bad. But I was too numb or maybe respectful to question him. Besides, any such statement would make my mom yell how I am so pessimistic, always talking negative. She strongly thought (and still thinks) that if you talk negative, then that's what you get. So I used to suspend my cynicism, and hold on to the belief that my destiny is good. It has to be good when my father so strongly believes so.

Now as a parent myself, I feel much more than that. I feel like my dad was probably consoling himself more than he was consoling me. My mom used to say often. 'Give all your sickness to me, give all your pain to me. And you take my health instead'. I used to think why would she want to take my illness upon herself? I think I now know what she meant. If you get the pain, you handle it. If your child gets hurt, you feel the pain doubled.

I skipped certain heartbreaks in my own life, but I didn't skip them altogether, it seems. Infact, they came back doubled, because nothing hurts more than seeing your child hurt, and not knowing from experience how that particular thing feels, or how to help them get out of it. I sometimes feel like whatever lucky breaks I got in my own life, have now no meaning. I can no longer feel grateful about my good fortune if I have to see my kid stumble on the same blocks. Yes, there are plus sides to it. It feels ecstatic to see them passing in things you had failed in. It feels great to know how they will not experience certain setbacks that you did.

However, I guess, in the end you resign the same way as my dad did, if you want to keep some sanity. You can't write their destiny. It's something everyone comes with, and it's something everyone will have to deal with, alone.

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Re: inheritance

Post by smArtha on Fri Jul 14, 2017 10:40 am

Destiny gets blamed too soon and too often. And this attitude hinders one to learn from their own mistakes and plan better for similar challenges next time around. Destiny is just the effect whose cause was the action we committed in the past and are blissfully unconscious about it now. Such an action doesn't have to be from a prior birth or incarnation alone. Even acts we do unconsciously (includes whimsical or habitual or flippant ones without needed attention or responsibility) can alter the desired effect to an undesired one.

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Re: inheritance

Post by FluteHolder on Fri Jul 14, 2017 10:54 am

I was about to reply but Smartha has replied 'Smart' Smile. I will post my reply later (probably with few Videos by SG!).

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Re: inheritance

Post by Seva Lamberdar on Fri Jul 14, 2017 1:11 pm

According to the Samkhya philosophy (as indicated in The Bhagavad Gita: Ch.18 - V. 13 & 14), destiny is only one of the five causes / reasons affecting the outcome.
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Re: inheritance

Post by FluteHolder on Fri Jul 14, 2017 6:39 pm


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Re: inheritance

Post by FluteHolder on Fri Jul 14, 2017 6:49 pm


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Re: inheritance

Post by t w on Fri Jul 14, 2017 7:51 pm

just in the spirit of disclosure, i don't (and won't) watch sadguru videos.

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Re: inheritance

Post by t w on Fri Jul 14, 2017 7:56 pm

smArtha wrote:Destiny gets blamed too soon and too often. And this attitude hinders one to learn from their own mistakes and plan better for similar challenges next time around. Destiny is just the effect whose cause was the action we committed in the past and are blissfully unconscious about it now. Such an action doesn't have to be from a prior birth or incarnation alone. Even acts we do unconsciously (includes whimsical or habitual or flippant ones without needed attention or responsibility) can alter the desired effect to an undesired one.

Smile yes ... whether you come with it, or write your own, or it's a matter of pure coincidences and chances through life (the meaning of it depends on your belief system). But whatever it is, it's all yours. Your parents can't impact it for you (atleast not knowingly), and you can't write it for your kids.

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Re: inheritance

Post by FluteHolder on Fri Jul 14, 2017 8:26 pm

t w wrote:just in the spirit of disclosure, i don't (and won't) watch sadguru videos.
Noted and I was kind of like that and refused to know more about SG, it was 15 years  ago and there was no videos at that time. I wish I had seen/read more then about SG. I would have gotten some wisdom 15 years earlier...

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Re: inheritance

Post by t w on Fri Jul 14, 2017 8:49 pm

FluteHolder wrote:
t w wrote:just in the spirit of disclosure, i don't (and won't) watch sadguru videos.
Noted and I was kind of like that and refused to know more about SG, it was 15 years  ago and there was no videos at that time. I wish I had seen/read more then about SG. I would have gotten some wisdom 15 years earlier...

oh i have watched his videos.. the ones you used to post a few years ago... but for me, turn offs are usually final

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Re: inheritance

Post by TruthSeeker on Fri Jul 14, 2017 10:11 pm

I could not read more than half your post. 

Life is not about you, once you become a parent.

Who said you as a parent is about "inhertance"  ?

You are an entity. 

Your child is another independent entity.

Do NOT make or feel yourself as so important in THEIR lives.

You are just another human in their lives.

Parents who are egoistic think of themselves as if they are their child's world.

No, you are NOT.

You are merely a provider, and a guide.

The kid is a kite, you have the thread - they WILL fly away, whether you let the thread lose or not. If you hold too tight, or think you give them any inheritance like gene or what not, they will cut the knot.

Someone who respects independence and freedom to such an extent that life is impossible without. A rebel to his own parents,
TS.

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Re: inheritance

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