My Vanaprastham

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My Vanaprastham

Post by Pentamma on Sat Aug 04, 2018 11:34 am

Looks like I am in the Vanaprasta stage of my life now. With the boys out of the house and almost settled, me working only two days a week, I have ample time to explore my interests, passions and delve into....umm hahn...self-discovery Razz (I know that’s so cliched nowadays, but that’s how it is for me). I’m trying out and doing things that I didn’t do much before and kinda exploring my inner world. Happiness is within and we got to get to it. Here are some of the things that I discovered/discovering about myself:

1. I am most happiest when I am surrounded by nature. I got very attentive to nature of late and I am lucky to be in Georgia. It’s one of the greenest places in US, with an ideal weather. So many trees and flowers around! It’s the best place to live. Lots of walks trails around and going for long walks is my favorite thing to do. I’m doing it often.

2. Hiking: Love it to the core. Passionate about it. Again lucky me, there are soo many hiking trails in Georgia and the surrounding states. The great Smoky mountains, a heaven on earth, is just 3 1/2 hours from here. Breathtakingly beautiful! I’ve been there twice this year and will be going there again and again for sure. So many trails to explore and so much natural beauty to soak in!!

3. Working out: Another thing that I enjoy. I go to Zumba, Belly dancing, Yoga and Strength and weight training classes regularly. Can’t do without them. 

4.Travel: Who wouldn’t like that? Explore the length and breadth of US, explore India, and explore the world. Doing/will do that more and more. 

5.Be a life-long learner. Check this out. 
http://www.noexcuselist.com Check out Edx and Coursera. A lot of courses are offered by top universities. I registered for one and will be doing that course very soon. 

6. Exploring passions/hobbies: I signed up for painting classes and they will be starting in a couple of weeks. So looking forward to those. 

7. Meditation: ‘Be here NOW’. Yeah, that so cliched, but try to follow that. It changes you. It gives you so much peace, joy and a sense of gratitude. I also listen to a lot of meditation music from youtube. Guided meditation is great too. 

8.Reading: Started reading the Mahabharata. It’s going to take a while to finish it. What more story can be more interesting and illuminating than Mahabharata? So much wisdom and so many different characters and personality types (i am sure all the 16 personality types of Myers Briggs are in there. Smile). 

9.Quora: A new interest. If you follow the right topics and the right people, there’s so much to learn and so much interesting stuff. 
It has a lot of good writers and a lot of wisdom. My favorite pass time.

10.Knowing my personality type. I never cared for it before, but I stumbled upon the topic on Quora and took the test. I got a 20 page analysis of my personality. Hmm...interesting. I am glad I took the test. It helps me understand myself better, work on my strengths and be wary of my soft spots. It’s the rarest of the rare personality types and a complex one at that. Btw, Jesus Christ was of the INFJ personality type too, which is mine. Yay!! So if you meet me offline, I’m sure you can see the halo around my head Razz

Most here are in their 40s and 50s, with kids leaving their homes. Have you jump started your Vanaprastham yet?

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Re: My Vanaprastham

Post by Kris on Sat Aug 04, 2018 12:08 pm

Want to go to India more. Want to hang out with my siblings and cousins more., as we get older. As the kids enter adulthood, trying to show by example. Worried less and less about things I didn’t do. This is a relief considering it was a big preoccupation before.life’s been pretty okay, in retrospect. Focus now is on the arranging finances for security down the road as we wind down and stabilize kids.

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Re: My Vanaprastham

Post by Pentamma on Sat Aug 04, 2018 3:38 pm

Kris wrote:Want to go to India more. Want to hang out with my siblings and cousins more., as we get older. As the kids enter adulthood, trying to show by example. Worried less and less about things I didn’t do. This is a relief considering it was a big preoccupation before.life’s been pretty okay, in retrospect.  Focus now is on the arranging finances for security down the road as we wind down and stabilize kids.
Yeah, same here. Dad's 82 and mom's 78. While I am grateful for their full life span (Poornayushu), I am wary that from now on every year of their life and health is a bonus and I have to make the most of it. I'm calling them often, talking to them more and planning to go to India often. Cherish them as much as I can.
@worrying: yeah, half my life I've been worrying about 'what if's and now realize that most of the 'what if's never came true and I worried about them unnecessarily. And even if they came true occassionally, I am strong enough to tide over them (we just don't realize how strong we are), or there'd be even better options and it will all be just fine. 
The same wrt regrets, the 'if only I had...' That's a useless thought too (as someone said, 'Hind sight is always 20:20'). With whatever knowledge, wisdom and mental maturity I had, I took the decisions that I thought were right. No point in regretting them. 
It took me years to gain the wisdom that nothing matters more than the present moment and how we live it determines the quality of our life. The 'now' is all we have to make the most of. Spend the rest of my life wisely. Phew!!

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Re: My Vanaprastham

Post by Kris on Sat Aug 04, 2018 4:39 pm

Forgot to add: one thing I am happy about: having done things that were age appropriate, even pushing the limits sometimes. Some of it was due to lack of forethought, but turned out be wins and very satisfying. I am reminded of the line from the Agincourt speech: “then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars and say these wounds I had on Crispin”s day’ and “old men forget, yet all shall be forgot, but he will remember with advantages what feats he did that day’ ,. Nice feeling but my wife is tiring of the agincourt speech Smile

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Re: My Vanaprastham

Post by Pentamma on Sat Aug 04, 2018 5:04 pm

Kris wrote:Forgot to add: one thing I am happy about: having done things that were age appropriate, even pushing the limits sometimes. Some of it was due to lack of forethought, but turned out be wins and very satisfying. I am reminded of the line from the Agincourt speech: “then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars and say these wounds I had on Crispin”s day’ and “old men forget, yet all shall be forgot, but  he will remember with advantages what feats he did that day’ ,. Nice feeling but my wife is tiring of the agincourt speech Smile
I was reading an article recently on what things in men that women find most attractive and one of them is ‘scars’ on their faces which they got on duty in the military or from doing some adventurous act. 
I can wager that your wife secretly admires them, in spite of your agincourt speeches Razz

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Re: My Vanaprastham

Post by Kris on Sat Aug 04, 2018 5:18 pm

There is always hope.Smile The fair maiden is definitely one of the aforesaid wins.

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Re: My Vanaprastham

Post by Pentamma on Sat Aug 04, 2018 5:43 pm

Kris wrote:There is always hope.Smile The fair maiden is definitely one of the aforesaid wins.  
Sweet! In that case, she must admire you more Smile

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Re: My Vanaprastham

Post by Pentamma on Thu Aug 09, 2018 10:49 am

I sent this link to my ambitious 23 year old who wants to be the next millionaire within the next decade or so. Becoming a millionaire is fine, but exploring, figuring themselves out and finding their happiness is more important. I wanted him to slow down. I am happy he liked the article. If you like it, send it to your young adult kiddos.
Check out other posts by this writer. He’s damn good. 

https://www.quora.com/How-do-I-become-very-successful-in-my-early-twenties/answer/Andrew-Ferebee?share=f5da0e52&srid=iHAbw

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Re: My Vanaprastham

Post by Kris on Thu Aug 09, 2018 5:24 pm

Send this link to your son. My older guy is already practicing this. Smile Sad

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1n3n2Ox4Yfk

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Re: My Vanaprastham

Post by Pentamma on Thu Aug 09, 2018 9:49 pm

Kris wrote:Send this link to your son. My older guy is already practicing this. Smile Sad

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1n3n2Ox4Yfk
Thanks for the link, Kris. Beautiful poem. Went through that again and again. Glad your older one is practicing it. I can say that about my older one too, I guess Smile. Though his journey to his Ithaka is long and hard, he says he’s enjoying it. 

Will send this to the younger. It’s the right one for him.

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Re: My Vanaprastham

Post by Seva Lamberdar on Fri Aug 10, 2018 12:55 pm

Pentamma wrote:I sent this link to my ambitious 23 year old who wants to be the next millionaire within the next decade or so. Becoming a millionaire is fine, but exploring, figuring themselves out and finding their happiness is more important. I wanted him to slow down. I am happy he liked the article. If you like it, send it to your young adult kiddos.
Check out other posts by this writer. He’s damn good. 

https://www.quora.com/How-do-I-become-very-successful-in-my-early-twenties/answer/Andrew-Ferebee?share=f5da0e52&srid=iHAbw
Valuable info.  Thanks for sharing the link.
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Re: My Vanaprastham

Post by Pentamma on Sat Sep 08, 2018 9:19 pm

Pentamma wrote:
5.Be a life-long learner. Check this out. 
http://www.noexcuselist.com Check out Edx and Coursera. A lot of courses are offered by top universities. I registered for one and will be doing that course very soon. 

6. Exploring passions/hobbies: I signed up for painting classes and they will be starting in a couple of weeks. So looking forward to those. 
# 5. I dropped the course. It was something about 'the science of happiness'. I thought I'd gain more by learning and practicing Zen than following the lectures of some modern psychologists. The east is more wiser in matters of happiness than the west. i am happy in general terms, but want to be more zen. So yeah....

# 6: Going to the painting classes and looooove it! The instructor is awesome! I started off with acrylics coz i'm just a beginner. Will proceed to oil painting once i get more experience and confidence. Also practicing sketching. Love it love it love it!! 

That's the update. Happy empty nesting y'all!

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Re: My Vanaprastham

Post by Pentamma on Sat Sep 08, 2018 9:49 pm

Pentamma wrote:
Pentamma wrote:
5.Be a life-long learner. Check this out. 
http://www.noexcuselist.com Check out Edx and Coursera. A lot of courses are offered by top universities. I registered for one and will be doing that course very soon. 

6. Exploring passions/hobbies: I signed up for painting classes and they will be starting in a couple of weeks. So looking forward to those. 
# 5. I dropped the course. It was something about 'the science of happiness'. I thought I'd gain more by learning and practicing Zen than following the lectures of some modern psychologists. The east is more wiser in matters of happiness than the west. i am happy in general terms, but want to be more zen. So yeah....

# 6: Going to the painting classes and looooove it! The instructor is awesome! I started off with acrylics coz i'm just a beginner. Will proceed to oil painting once i get more experience and confidence. Also practicing sketching. Love it love it love it!! 

That's the update. Happy empty nesting y'all!
Oh and Quora too: I remained passive and invisible until I had the itch to answer some question and holy shit, my phone and email were full of notifications about likes, comments, followers and a few private messages. I didn’t expect that. And people started asking me questions to answer. It’s very intimidating. Till date that answer has almost 22 k views and 
nearly 300 upvotes. 
I don’t want to be sucked into Quora. Got to be very careful. So I went back into my shell again. Not going to post anything there. Will just read and gain some wisdom. Won’t impart any of my own.

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Re: My Vanaprastham

Post by smArtha on Wed Sep 12, 2018 5:25 pm

Pentamma wrote:
Most here are in their 40s and 50s, with kids leaving their homes. Have you jump started your Vanaprastham yet?

In my early 40s, but with a kid under 5 and another under 10, I have about a decade and half to two to get out of Grishastha. All I can say with envy is "Make the best of it" :-)

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Re: My Vanaprastham

Post by Pentamma on Fri Sep 14, 2018 11:11 am

smArtha wrote:
Pentamma wrote:
Most here are in their 40s and 50s, with kids leaving their homes. Have you jump started your Vanaprastham yet?

In my early 40s, but with a kid under 5 and another under 10, I have about a decade and half to two to get out of Grishastha. All I can say with envy is "Make the best of it" :-)
A looong way to go! Enjoy your little ones as much as you can while you get there. You won't believe how fast they grow up and how soon the time flies Smile

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