to avoid drama

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to avoid drama

Post by Guest on Sat Aug 04, 2018 7:28 pm

... you need to break the Karpman Drama Triangle

Psychologist Dr. Stephen Karpman broke down what exactly these unhealthy roles look like in a 1968 model called the Karpman Drama Triangle. Detailed in his book "A Game Free Life," the triangle broke the chaos of drama into a scenario with three simple roles: a victim, a persecutor, and a rescuer.

  • The victim feels or acts like they are being victimized. Typically, the person in this role feels powerless, oppressed, and — on a deeper level — ashamed.

  • The persecutor is whoever the victim feels victimized by. Cast as controlling and malicious, people in this role often act angry, defensive, and condescending. (The persecutor is sometimes also a situation.)

  • The rescuer is a third party who gets indignant on the victim's behalf and works industriously to "save" them from their persecutor.

This triangle can feel good, Karpman argued. Victims feel innocent; persecutors feel powerful; rescuers feel righteous. 
The key to escaping the drama triangle is for each party to see their role in a different light. "Drama" feels explosive and messy because a lot of effort goes into establishing (or escaping) roles. The victim wants to establish their innocence; the persecutor wants to clear their name; the rescuer wants to be viewed as righteous. In healthy conflict resolution, the focus shifts toward, well, resolving the conflict.

Three new roles emerge, creating a new model often termed TED (The Empowerment Dynamic).

  • The victim becomes the creator. This person works proactively to create a positive (or at least tolerable) outcome to a conflict.
  • The persecutor becomes the challenger. This person is honest even when it's difficult. Their honesty can create conflict or cause pain, but it also gives the creator an opportunity to reflect and grow.
  • The rescuer becomes the coach. This person asks the creator questions to help them discover and achieve what they want.


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