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by Guest Fri Jul 26, 2019 11:30 am
i see people around me changing all the time
the one-man woman starts seeing many men
the many-women man settles for one woman
the die-hard romantic becomes a cynic
the die-hard playboy gets all senti
everyone changes, but not him
or he just didn't change for me
the one-man woman starts seeing many men
the many-women man settles for one woman
the die-hard romantic becomes a cynic
the die-hard playboy gets all senti
everyone changes, but not him
or he just didn't change for me
Guest- Guest
Re: change
by FluteHolder Fri Jul 26, 2019 7:16 pm
None will change unless situation warrants or they get a big lesson for them which makes them change. We just have to adapt/change to accept who they are and live for the rest of the life peacefully/content... IMHO...
FluteHolder- Posts : 2355
Join date : 2011-06-03
Re: change
by Kris Fri Jul 26, 2019 10:31 pm
sulu wrote:i see people around me changing all the time
the one-man woman starts seeing many men
the many-women man settles for one woman
the die-hard romantic becomes a cynic
the die-hard playboy gets all senti
everyone changes, but not him
or he just didn't change for me
......“You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this and you will find strength”
- Marcus Aurelius
Kris- Posts : 5460
Join date : 2011-04-28
Re: change
by Guest Sat Jul 27, 2019 7:28 am
yeah i know, all that is true... it's just that i am an involved listener, and while listening to a story, i pick up on so many changes, and even though i have moved miles up and beyond emotionally, it still sometimes makes me sad thinking why didn't the guy in my story change like the guy in this story, and so on; and then there is another recognition of failure that maybe my guy is capable of change too, but not for me. heh.
Guest- Guest
Re: change
by Seva Lamberdar Sat Jul 27, 2019 12:33 pm
We change only when it's to our benefit personally.
Seva Lamberdar- Posts : 6587
Join date : 2012-11-29 -
Re: change
by Guest Sat Jul 27, 2019 3:27 pm
https://such.forumotion.com/t46874-sanskari-bahu?highlight=sanskari+bahu
As said in this post, it’s not your job to change the other. Sanskari or non-sanskari, women delude themselves that they can change their man. Won’t happen.
As said in this post, it’s not your job to change the other. Sanskari or non-sanskari, women delude themselves that they can change their man. Won’t happen.
Guest- Guest
Re: change
by Guest Sat Jul 27, 2019 5:17 pm
Seva Lamberdar wrote:We change only when it's to our benefit personally.
thanks that makes me feel so much better about myself lol...
i am the kind who ups and leaves after a point, don't have the energy to change anyone; but it's also true that sometimes you meet a new person and convert into something else, and i noticed that kinda change in an old friend i was talking to recently and i was like hmm, yeah you can't change anyone, BUT people change coz of others all the time. slight diff in the two processes, and not in your hands. All you can do is watch and wonder. and if it's my ex who changes, then you feel bitter. lol. Kinda like my XB dumped me coz i wanted him to enroll into MBA, but then he went ahead and did [some kinda] MBA anyway, coz 'his wife inspired him so much'.
Guest- Guest
Re: change
by Kris Sat Jul 27, 2019 9:44 pm
>>> people are complex, situations are complex. We have a bias to think there is a reason for everything and beat ourselves up over itsulu wrote:yeah i know, all that is true... it's just that i am an involved listener, and while listening to a story, i pick up on so many changes, and even though i have moved miles up and beyond emotionally, it still sometimes makes me sad thinking why didn't the guy in my story change like the guy in this story, and so on; and then there is another recognition of failure that maybe my guy is capable of change too, but not for me. heh.
. Unfortunately the business of life ain’t always rational, much as you would like it to be. Just roll with the punches and make the most of it. Besides sometimes in life,,,,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i37uttMA6Mc
Kris- Posts : 5460
Join date : 2011-04-28
Re: change
by southindian Mon Jul 29, 2019 3:06 pm
Everyone carries a 1000 characters with them all the time.
We don't change. We just bring one to the front that we want to show.
Example:
You love 'Person A'. You market yourself to 'Person A' [Best face].
'Person A' does something bad. You hate 'Person A'. You show you hateful character.
For 'Person A' you have changed, but all you did is show another face of yours you always had. You always have those many faces, characters that you keep close to your chest never to reveal. You just take them out when needed, or as they say, 'when you throw your caution up in the air'.
a la Sadhguru
We don't change. We just bring one to the front that we want to show.
Example:
You love 'Person A'. You market yourself to 'Person A' [Best face].
'Person A' does something bad. You hate 'Person A'. You show you hateful character.
For 'Person A' you have changed, but all you did is show another face of yours you always had. You always have those many faces, characters that you keep close to your chest never to reveal. You just take them out when needed, or as they say, 'when you throw your caution up in the air'.
a la Sadhguru
southindian- Posts : 4643
Join date : 2012-10-08
Re: change
by Guest Tue Jul 30, 2019 8:08 pm
he lost me at 'constipation is constriction of tracts', what?
in life, small quirks of a person are easier to accept. 'he snores', 'she is a mess', 'but they are nice, so lets make it work'. how about deeper issues? take the simplest example. what if i don't love him, or he doesn't love me, or both? no one can tell someone if they want to be in that relationship or not. It's a personal choice. Freedom can be attained in many ways, 1 - 'i don't love him, but for x y and z reasons, i will stay married to him'; or 2- 'he doesn't love me, and it's ok, but i need someone who loves me, so i will let him go'; or 3 - 'i don't love him. why be in this sham, let it go'; or 4 - 'he doesn't love me, but it's ok, we will still make it work'. All are acceptance in my opinion. It's what gnaws at your heart the most. It's all about what baseline you can establish.
in life, small quirks of a person are easier to accept. 'he snores', 'she is a mess', 'but they are nice, so lets make it work'. how about deeper issues? take the simplest example. what if i don't love him, or he doesn't love me, or both? no one can tell someone if they want to be in that relationship or not. It's a personal choice. Freedom can be attained in many ways, 1 - 'i don't love him, but for x y and z reasons, i will stay married to him'; or 2- 'he doesn't love me, and it's ok, but i need someone who loves me, so i will let him go'; or 3 - 'i don't love him. why be in this sham, let it go'; or 4 - 'he doesn't love me, but it's ok, we will still make it work'. All are acceptance in my opinion. It's what gnaws at your heart the most. It's all about what baseline you can establish.
Guest- Guest
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