i offended someone

by pravalika nanda Sat Apr 27, 2013 12:57 pm

i was in the cafeteria sitting with a group of people when two of them started to share a brownie. one of them offered it to me and i said, "nah, i'm on a diet" but at the same time i think it said on my face that i wasn't going to eat any part of a brownie that two people were already sharing. it just looked too messy to even take a bite from the side which would've been the polite thing to do. the guy who offered it to me looked offended and upset. it's complicated, he's black, he's a good friend, and i think he took it personally. i just can't forget the look on his face, it makes me feel bad.
do you guys know the english word for "ingili?" in america, people frequently share food from each other's plates. it probably varies with age, location, level of education, class and upbringing. i'm sure that if it hasn't happened it to you, surely you worry that your kids will pick up this bad habit or deal with it when their friends offer to share food with them.

by nevada Sat Apr 27, 2013 1:33 pm

The polite thing to do would have been to pick it up, sneeze and "accidentally" drop it on the floor.

by Maria S Sat Apr 27, 2013 1:34 pm

It happens to me..all the time! Not really worried..And I almost always will take a small piece of whatever food people offer to me from their plate..even if it does not look very appetizing. I generally don't ask people if they want something from my plate..but, if I see them staring..will tell them "you are welcome to try some, if you want to"..some may politely refuse and mostly (Americans) ..if there is no extra spoon or fork- will ask if they pick it up with their fingers..and I don't object at all..so far no one has become sick..and I have never been sick either.

*Sharing food from the same plate is a bonding and intimate act in many cultures..they say a relationship becomes intimate only when people share food from the same cup, plate (opinions can vary!)

When it comes to religious culture..there is no varying opinions..we share bread that is broken into pieces by hand and drink from the same "Communion wine cup"..just wiped by the padre'..with hundreds of strangers sharing..with so many people with colds and cough..do wonder about it a little..but, never refused..will go on and take sips..have not encountered any problems.

by Hellsangel Sat Apr 27, 2013 4:20 pm

Maria S wrote:
When it comes to religious culture..there is no varying opinions..we share bread that is broken into pieces by hand and drink from the same "Communion wine cup"..just wiped by the padre'..with hundreds of strangers sharing..with so many people with colds and cough..do wonder about it a little..but, never refused..will go on and take sips..have not encountered any problems.

Hmm. Never been to a Southern Baptist communion?

by garam_kuta Sat Apr 27, 2013 4:53 pm

nevada wrote:The polite thing to do would have been to pick it up, sneeze and "accidentally" drop it on the floor.

brilliant

except it might work depending on the frequency of occurrence - before the pattern is recognized

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Sat Apr 27, 2013 5:50 pm

pravalika nanda wrote:i was in the cafeteria sitting with a group of people when two of them started to share a brownie. one of them offered it to me and i said, "nah, i'm on a diet" but at the same time i think it said on my face that i wasn't going to eat any part of a brownie that two people were already sharing. it just looked too messy to even take a bite from the side which would've been the polite thing to do. the guy who offered it to me looked offended and upset. it's complicated, he's black, he's a good friend, and i think he took it personally. i just can't forget the look on his face, it makes me feel bad.
do you guys know the english word for "ingili?" in america, people frequently share food from each other's plates. it probably varies with age, location, level of education, class and upbringing. i'm sure that if it hasn't happened it to you, surely you worry that your kids will pick up this bad habit or deal with it when their friends offer to share food with them.

You should have been honest with him and said you would not share food with dark skinned people - man or woman.

by Sandee2020 Sat Apr 27, 2013 6:47 pm

Juta, ingili, now a days seems common even in India. I don't like it. In a situation like yours I'd say. "Sorry but I do not share food from the same bite. It is my culture."

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