Don't fart and point at the dog

by indophile Thu Oct 10, 2013 11:53 am

Nice piece.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/09/jon-stewart-calls-out-republicans_n_4069528.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular

by Rishi Thu Oct 10, 2013 12:26 pm

indophile wrote:Nice piece.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/09/jon-stewart-calls-out-republicans_n_4069528.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular

>>> Talking about farting, I feel that desis especially the educated ones should be honest with themselves and do something about it.

1. At your home or apartment, if you get the urge to fart, excuse yourself, tell the family that you need to relieve your gas and get out of the apartment. Release the gas outside on the street to your heart's content. Why do you make others in the family suffer?

2. Avoid gassy foods especially cabbage, beans, carrots and potato.

3. Take medicines such as Gas-x.

4. Go to toilet and empty your colons. That will save a lot of problems.

5. You should follow item 4 especially before you visit some body. Your stomach should be empty when you visit someone else's living place.

6. If your host offers coffee or tea, please refuse. Strong coffee creates an impulse to fart.

7. Avoid gluttony at your host's place. In fact, you are better off not eating anything.

8. If you still have the urge to fart at your host's home, excuse yourself and get out. Actually the host will appreciate if you tell them that you have gas problem. It is very rude of you to let one go. It stinks up the place. Why on earth would you want to pollute your host's place when they have been kind to you?

I had a guest at home. This moron has a Ph.D in Biochemical engineering. He is in his 30s now. He let a big one in the middle of the conversation. It was very loud. His wife was there with him. Some kids started laughing. I did not know what to do. I wanted to open the porch door, let some air in. The adults pretended nothing happened.

If a guest farts at my place, I am going to ask him straight: why don't you do something about your gas problem? Why should I have to smell your farts?

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Thu Oct 10, 2013 12:35 pm

Rishi wrote:

I had a guest at home. This moron has a Ph.D in Biochemical engineering. He is in his 30s now. He let a big one in the middle of the conversation.

If a guest farts at my place, I am going to ask him straight: why don't you do something about your gas problem? Why should I have to smell your farts?

Compatible education.

by indophile Thu Oct 10, 2013 3:39 pm

When I was a kid I've seen other kids drawing a line with a pencil on the wall. Start when the fart starts and stop when it ends. Measure the length of the line. It was explained to them that they were only able to capture the length, but not able to measure it's intensity in aural and olfactory dimensions. I heard there is something called Crocker (what a name!)-Henderson scale to account for the olfactory dimension. For aural, there is already a decibel measure.

by harharmahadev Fri Oct 11, 2013 10:31 am

There was this one time I was flying from Newark to Mumbai. I was stuck between this old fat desi lady and this old fat desi guy. The desi woman brought smelly foods with her. All night, these two senile pigs were taking turns blowing silent farts. If it were silent, how did I know that both were farting, you ask? It's because the fart smells were different. One was garlic-ish and the other was peanut-ish.

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