Establishing Boundaries

by gone Wed Feb 12, 2014 9:05 pm

I'm trying really hard to establish personal boundaries in my life. Some examples:

DH's annoying aunt. She's constantly giving us advice. I kept giving her subtle hints to stop by telling her "Thank you but we have made our decision." Finally, I told DH last night to call her and make it clear to her that 1. She needs to stop giving me advice and 2. She needs to stop asking me to tell him to call her (he hardly has any time to call anyone).

He agreed and called her this evening and told her very directly but politely that he would appreciate it if she would not give us any advice and not keep asking me to tell him to call her up all the time. I have a feeling we won't be hearing from her for a looooong time. Good!

Nosy people in both of our families. We have both decided to nip their questions in the bud. Not in a rude way but more along the lines of "Thanks for asking but we much prefer not to discuss that."

Finally, I mustered up the courage to get the desi person in line behind me at the post office to stand at least a foot away from me (she was practically spooning me from behind - just an inch between her and me). I just pretended to yawn and stretched my arms and my elbow jabbed her tummy. That got her to move back and keep a healthy distance. Stop getting in my personal space lady!

by gone Wed Feb 12, 2014 9:08 pm

Please feel free to add your own experiences with idiots who don't respect other people's boundaries.

by Guest Wed Feb 12, 2014 9:24 pm

i still remember that line from you, 'if you want space so bad, i will give you the whole continent'.

helped me made a important decision in my life.

Other that that ya.. in a Central mall in india last year, got spooned the same way by 2-3 girls behind me who were in God knows what rush to pay and get out. Actually, if I had not elbowed back, I almost got elbowed out to get to the counter.

I think in desh they have this fear that if they keep even 2 inch spaces, someone else will squeeze in the line, and from my experience, that fear is not unfounded.

by gone Wed Feb 12, 2014 10:23 pm

Seriously I have had enough of this town. Or more specifically, the Indians in this town. Every single last one of them smokes, that is the men. They don't seem to realize that they're standing outside of a public place like a post office or a gas station and fricking smoking. That means I can't enter the post office or fill my car with gas because of all the smoke fumes that will make my hair, clothes, skin, everything reek of cigarette smoke.

They hawk and spit just about anywhere. They don't seem to be using enough quality detergent like Tide when they do laundry because their clothes seem to smell like curry. Their coats, their jackets...just gross-smelling...please take them to the dry cleaner. They don't seem to be using much shampoo, soap, deodorant, or lotion. Their skin looks dry, tired, desperately in need of moisturizer and lots of water. Some of the women have the longest, frizziest, most unkept hair. I want to tell them to get a stylish haircut and get Keratin straightening to get rid of that frizz. A cute dress, cute shoes, cute glass frames. Please don't walk around this town in a saree!!!!

I don't know what small town in India they're from because some of them can't speak a word of English. I don't like the way they stare and stare at me.

Seriously, the only Indians I knew were doctors, lawyers, and investment bankers...all Ivy League-educated...until we moved here.

by gone Wed Feb 12, 2014 10:31 pm

It's not just the desis. Even the natives. Not polished and I think they get their clothes from Walmart.

by gone Wed Feb 12, 2014 10:36 pm

We invited one desi couple (cop and his wife) to our house for dinner and they brought their unruly kids along. I had only cooked for the two of them, so I had to scramble to make more food for their kids. Both of them were shouting so loud to make themselves heard over the noise their kids were making. Both DH and I had a headache by the time they all left.

by pravalika nanda Wed Feb 12, 2014 10:39 pm

mainstreet wrote:Seriously I have had enough of this town. Or more specifically, the Indians in this town. Every single last one of them smokes, that is the men. They don't seem to realize that they're standing outside of a public place like a post office or a gas station and fricking smoking. That means I can't enter the post office or fill my car with gas because of all the smoke fumes that will make my hair, clothes, skin, everything reek of cigarette smoke.

They hawk and spit just about anywhere. They don't seem to be using enough quality detergent like Tide when they do laundry because their clothes seem to smell like curry. Their coats, their jackets...just gross-smelling...please take them to the dry cleaner. They don't seem to be using much shampoo, soap, deodorant, or lotion. Their skin looks dry, tired, desperately in need of moisturizer and lots of water. Some of the women have the longest, frizziest, most unkept hair. I want to tell them to get a stylish haircut and get Keratin straightening to get rid of that frizz. A cute dress, cute shoes, cute glass frames. Please don't walk around this town in a saree!!!!

I don't know what small town in India they're from because some of them can't speak a word of English. I don't like the way they stare and stare at me.

Seriously, the only Indians I knew were doctors, lawyers, and investment bankers...all Ivy League-educated...until we moved here.

** my boyfriend who's a pulmonologist tells me you could also get emphysema from second-hand smoking, that's what I'd worry about.

** i use the other detergent, woolrite i think it is called, that my mom recommended to me cuz it's superior to tide. i suggest you switch to it if you want top of the line. hey maybe the indian people are really cheap and get their detergent from india - there's one called washing powder nirma if i remember correctly from my childhood in india. my mom gets mysore sandal soap from india to use, i hate it, but she thinks it's luxurious. she only gets like three or four of them though. otherwise she uses dove.

** i do also have those bouts of good smaratian feelings where i feel like sending some indina and Chinese people secret helpful notes: "if you get a facial you'd look so nice" or ""use retinoid cream every 48-72h to have youthful dewy skin like i do" or "brush your teeth twice a day with crest toothpaste if you want to be kissed." that last piece of advice really pertains to the Asians - so so so prone to halitosis that it terrifies me and so no way I'm ever going to have a chindian baby.

** are you a snob, cuz you seem to not want to interact with anyone unless they have an ivy league education. and snobbery is not attractive by the way.

by Hellsangel Wed Feb 12, 2014 10:41 pm

Congratulations on the boyfriend, Janice!

by Guest Wed Feb 12, 2014 10:42 pm

PNNNNNN

who have a BOYFRIENDDDDDD

who when where how?

by gone Wed Feb 12, 2014 10:45 pm

Noooo! Not a snob! I've just been accustomed to living in cities where the Indians are much more polished. Not just the Indians. Everyone. Have to agree about the bad teeth. Desperately in need of Zoom whitening. Unfortunately, there is no dentist in this town. Tooth pain? Drive a couple of hours to find a dentist.

by pravalika nanda Wed Feb 12, 2014 10:59 pm

Hellsangel wrote:Congratulations on the boyfriend, Janice!

oh my god, i have such a feeling that he's going to pop the big question on the 14th, you know that fluttering sensation that could be an arrhythmia but isn't quite? i mean at least i hope it isn't. oh gee, i hope it isn't. well i don't want to dwell on that so let's get back to the topic on hand.

so i have that feeling cuz you know he's preparing me and training me to be a real good doctor's wife, which as you know, (well - you probably don't know, but try to imagine anyway) is an occupation in its own and a position on the social hierarchy. totem pole or maybe the caste system elaborates it better for you.

anyhow, my pulmonology boyfriend, he's like, "i don't want you to be a snobby girlfriend cuz of who i am, i want you to be your own person". ain't he sweet. he makes me melt. his sister is a pulmonologist also. she really knows a lot about medicine and she knows a lot of men. she's not married though. she was telling me how glad she is that I'm so level-headed and that I'm also doing hospital work.

she tells me that most doctors' wives are really protective about their husbands and when she is at parties and talks to these guys that she's literally grown up with going to medical school and residency and fellowship and spending countless working hours with them, these non-medical wives jump in jealously with fangs bared like she's going to steal them away. like if she wanted to sleep with them, she could easily do that any time. women in medicine are generally scared of being misunderstood by these non medical wives due to their utter foolishness.

my heart is till fluttering, you think I'm having an arrhythmia, hellasangel? i better go and do some pranayama to feel better.

by Hellsangel Wed Feb 12, 2014 11:02 pm

pravalika nanda wrote:
Hellsangel wrote:Congratulations on the boyfriend, Janice!

oh my god, i have such a feeling that he's going to pop the big question on the 14th, you know that fluttering sensation that could be an arrhythmia but isn't quite? i mean at least i hope it isn't. oh gee, i hope it isn't. well i don't want to dwell on that so let's get back to the topic on hand.

so i have that feeling cuz you know he's preparing me and training me to be a real good doctor's wife, which as you know, (well - you probably don't know, but try to imagine anyway) is an occupation in its own and a position on the social hierarchy. totem pole or maybe the caste system elaborates it better for you.

anyhow, my pulmonology boyfriend, he's like, "i don't want you to be a snobby girlfriend cuz of who i am, i want you to be your own person". ain't he sweet. he makes me melt. his sister is a pulmonologist also. she really knows a lot about medicine and she knows a lot of men. she's not married though. she was telling me how glad she is that I'm so level-headed and that I'm also doing hospital work.

she tells me that most doctors' wives are really protective about their husbands and when she is at parties and talks to these guys that she's literally grown up with going to medical school and residency and fellowship and spending countless working hours with them, these non-medical wives jump in jealously with fangs bared like she's going to steal them away. like if she wanted to sleep with them, she could easily do that any time. women in medicine are generally scared of being misunderstood by these non medical wives due to their utter foolishness.

my heart is till fluttering, you think I'm having an arrhythmia, hellasangel? i better go and do some pranayama to feel better.

Yes, Janice. Go meditate. You don't want your heart to flutter away.

by MaxEntropy_Man Wed Feb 12, 2014 11:03 pm

pravalika nanda wrote:
Hellsangel wrote:Congratulations on the boyfriend, Janice!

oh my god, i have such a feeling that he's going to pop the big question on the 14th, you know that fluttering sensation that could be an arrhythmia but isn't quite? i mean at least i hope it isn't. oh gee, i hope it isn't. well i don't want to dwell on that so let's get back to the topic on hand.

so i have that feeling cuz you know he's preparing me and training me to be a real good doctor's wife, which as you know, (well - you probably don't know, but try to imagine anyway) is an occupation in its own and a position on the social hierarchy. totem pole or maybe the caste system elaborates it better for you.

anyhow, my pulmonology boyfriend, he's like, "i don't want you to be a snobby girlfriend cuz of who i am, i want you to be your own person". ain't he sweet. he makes me melt. his sister is a pulmonologist also. she really knows a lot about medicine and she knows a lot of men. she's not married though. she was telling me how glad she is that I'm so level-headed and that I'm also doing hospital work.

she tells me that most doctors' wives are really protective about their husbands and when she is at parties and talks to these guys that she's literally grown up with going to medical school and residency and fellowship and spending countless working hours with them, these non-medical wives jump in jealously with fangs bared like she's going to steal them away. like if she wanted to sleep with them, she could easily do that any time. women in medicine are generally scared of being misunderstood by these non medical wives due to their utter foolishness.

my heart is till fluttering, you think I'm having an arrhythmia, hellasangel? i better go and do some pranayama to feel better.

by pravalika nanda Wed Feb 12, 2014 11:04 pm

Tracy Whitney wrote:PNNNNNN

who have a BOYFRIENDDDDDD

who when where how?

you seem surprised, tracy. i wonder why.

by bw Wed Feb 12, 2014 11:10 pm

pravalika nanda wrote:
Hellsangel wrote:Congratulations on the boyfriend, Janice!

oh my god, i have such a feeling that he's going to pop the big question on the 14th, you know that fluttering sensation that could be an arrhythmia but isn't quite? i mean at least i hope it isn't. oh gee, i hope it isn't. well i don't want to dwell on that so let's get back to the topic on hand.

so i have that feeling cuz you know he's preparing me and training me to be a real good doctor's wife, which as you know, (well - you probably don't know, but try to imagine anyway) is an occupation in its own and a position on the social hierarchy. totem pole or maybe the caste system elaborates it better for you.

anyhow, my pulmonology boyfriend, he's like, "i don't want you to be a snobby girlfriend cuz of who i am, i want you to be your own person". ain't he sweet. he makes me melt. his sister is a pulmonologist also. she really knows a lot about medicine and she knows a lot of men. she's not married though. she was telling me how glad she is that I'm so level-headed and that I'm also doing hospital work.

she tells me that most doctors' wives are really protective about their husbands and when she is at parties and talks to these guys that she's literally grown up with going to medical school and residency and fellowship and spending countless working hours with them, these non-medical wives jump in jealously with fangs bared like she's going to steal them away. like if she wanted to sleep with them, she could easily do that any time. women in medicine are generally scared of being misunderstood by these non medical wives due to their utter foolishness.

my heart is till fluttering, you think I'm having an arrhythmia, hellasangel? i better go and do some pranayama to feel better.

oh, how romantic and cute - a proposal on valentine's day! i am so excited for you and waiting with bated breath. please let us know right away and do not make us wait. we can't afford a prolonged apnea(?).

by pravalika nanda Wed Feb 12, 2014 11:11 pm

MaxEntropy_Man wrote:
pravalika nanda wrote:
Hellsangel wrote:Congratulations on the boyfriend, Janice!

oh my god, i have such a feeling that he's going to pop the big question on the 14th, you know that fluttering sensation that could be an arrhythmia but isn't quite? i mean at least i hope it isn't. oh gee, i hope it isn't. well i don't want to dwell on that so let's get back to the topic on hand.

so i have that feeling cuz you know he's preparing me and training me to be a real good doctor's wife, which as you know, (well - you probably don't know, but try to imagine anyway) is an occupation in its own and a position on the social hierarchy. totem pole or maybe the caste system elaborates it better for you.

anyhow, my pulmonology boyfriend, he's like, "i don't want you to be a snobby girlfriend cuz of who i am, i want you to be your own person". ain't he sweet. he makes me melt. his sister is a pulmonologist also. she really knows a lot about medicine and she knows a lot of men. she's not married though. she was telling me how glad she is that I'm so level-headed and that I'm also doing hospital work.

she tells me that most doctors' wives are really protective about their husbands and when she is at parties and talks to these guys that she's literally grown up with going to medical school and residency and fellowship and spending countless working hours with them, these non-medical wives jump in jealously with fangs bared like she's going to steal them away. like if she wanted to sleep with them, she could easily do that any time. women in medicine are generally scared of being misunderstood by these non medical wives due to their utter foolishness.

my heart is till fluttering, you think I'm having an arrhythmia, hellasangel? i better go and do some pranayama to feel better.

max, if my heart becomes still, i will d.y.e. a v.i.r.g.i.n.
this is not the time for sting. any nice soothing Carnatic music?

by Guest Wed Feb 12, 2014 11:15 pm

pravalika nanda wrote:
Tracy Whitney wrote:PNNNNNN

who have a BOYFRIENDDDDDD

who when where how?

you seem surprised, tracy. i wonder why.

Oh it looked like that? I thought I am pouring out my happiness and excitement with all those superlatives hehe. And ofcourse, I want the full story, like I always want to. Just some news is not enough for me if you know me by now, I like a timeline account of everything, if I can get one. Smile

I remember last valentine days we were both so single, looking forward to speed dating and all. And this year you are so happy and have a boyfriend, and I ... well I am still single, but in a much better place now, at least 2-5 times a week Wink

Happy for you. And hope he pops the question on v-day, and hope you accept. Smile

We will now have two two doctor wives in maybe two two mega cities. Fun and more fun.

by pravalika nanda Wed Feb 12, 2014 11:16 pm

bw wrote:
pravalika nanda wrote:
Hellsangel wrote:Congratulations on the boyfriend, Janice!

oh my god, i have such a feeling that he's going to pop the big question on the 14th, you know that fluttering sensation that could be an arrhythmia but isn't quite? i mean at least i hope it isn't. oh gee, i hope it isn't. well i don't want to dwell on that so let's get back to the topic on hand.

so i have that feeling cuz you know he's preparing me and training me to be a real good doctor's wife, which as you know, (well - you probably don't know, but try to imagine anyway) is an occupation in its own and a position on the social hierarchy. totem pole or maybe the caste system elaborates it better for you.

anyhow, my pulmonology boyfriend, he's like, "i don't want you to be a snobby girlfriend cuz of who i am, i want you to be your own person". ain't he sweet. he makes me melt. his sister is a pulmonologist also. she really knows a lot about medicine and she knows a lot of men. she's not married though. she was telling me how glad she is that I'm so level-headed and that I'm also doing hospital work.

she tells me that most doctors' wives are really protective about their husbands and when she is at parties and talks to these guys that she's literally grown up with going to medical school and residency and fellowship and spending countless working hours with them, these non-medical wives jump in jealously with fangs bared like she's going to steal them away. like if she wanted to sleep with them, she could easily do that any time. women in medicine are generally scared of being misunderstood by these non medical wives due to their utter foolishness.

my heart is till fluttering, you think I'm having an arrhythmia, hellasangel? i better go and do some pranayama to feel better.

oh, how romantic and cute - a proposal on valentine's day! i am so excited for you and waiting with bated breath. please let us know right away and do not make us wait. we can't afford a prolonged apnea(?).

oh thank you, you too, don't hold your breath for too long, i don't want you to turn all blue and croak and dye!
he asked me what i wanted and i like no flowers or plants please, just some ice. so i hope he got the hint.

by garam_kuta Wed Feb 12, 2014 11:19 pm

pravalika nanda wrote:
max, if my heart becomes still, i will d.y.e. a v.i.r.g.i.n.
this is not the time for sting. any nice soothing Carnatic music?

don't you worry..I bet, its gonna be PINK alright Smile

by Guest Wed Feb 12, 2014 11:22 pm

Tracy Whitney wrote:
pravalika nanda wrote:
Tracy Whitney wrote:PNNNNNN

who have a BOYFRIENDDDDDD

who when where how?

you seem surprised, tracy. i wonder why.

Oh it looked like that? I thought I am pouring out my happiness and excitement with all those superlatives hehe. And ofcourse, I want the full story, like I always want to. Just some news is not enough for me if you know me by now, I like a timeline account of everything, if I can get one.

I remember last valentine days we were both so single, looking forward to speed dating and all. And this year you are so happy and have a boyfriend, and I ... well I am still single, but in a much better place now, at least 2-5 times a week

Happy for you. And hope he pops the question on v-day, and hope you accept.

We will now have two two doctor wives in maybe two two mega cities. Fun and more fun.

just realized my typo.. it was to be

PNNNNNN

you* have a BOYFRIENDDDDDD

who when where how?

by Kris Wed Feb 12, 2014 11:22 pm

pravalika nanda wrote:
Tracy Whitney wrote:PNNNNNN

who have a BOYFRIENDDDDDD

who when where how?

you seem surprised, tracy. i wonder why.

>>>Wait-- does that mean Manjay doesn't have a chance?

by pravalika nanda Wed Feb 12, 2014 11:24 pm

garam_kuta wrote:
pravalika nanda wrote:
max, if my heart becomes still, i will d.y.e. a v.i.r.g.i.n.
this is not the time for sting. any nice soothing Carnatic music?
don't you worry..I bet, its gonna be PINK alright

oh you naughty boy, that is a good idea, i will arm myself with something very slinky from Victoria's secret.
what are your plans, hot dog? how does one keep the tam bram wife happy?

by Guest Wed Feb 12, 2014 11:25 pm

Kris wrote:
pravalika nanda wrote:
Tracy Whitney wrote:PNNNNNN

who have a BOYFRIENDDDDDD

who when where how?

you seem surprised, tracy. i wonder why.

>>>Wait-- does that mean Manjay doesn't have a chance?

oh. totally forgot that. well, one of us needs to host the engagement party, and another one needs to hold a sorry party for Rishi, replete with ghazals and booze. Uff. Who wants to organize which one?

by Guest Wed Feb 12, 2014 11:26 pm

pravalika nanda wrote:
garam_kuta wrote:
pravalika nanda wrote:
max, if my heart becomes still, i will d.y.e. a v.i.r.g.i.n.
this is not the time for sting. any nice soothing Carnatic music?
don't you worry..I bet, its gonna be PINK alright

oh you naughty boy, that is a good idea, i will arm myself with something very slinky from Victoria's secret.
what are your plans, hot dog? how does one keep the tam bram wife happy?

by throwing a mensa puzzle her way. duh.

by gone Wed Feb 12, 2014 11:28 pm

Prepare for loneliness. Lots and lots of it. There can be loneliness in a marriage with any guy, but especially a doc. Medicine is a jealous mistress.

by bw Wed Feb 12, 2014 11:29 pm

pravalika nanda wrote:
bw wrote:
pravalika nanda wrote:
Hellsangel wrote:Congratulations on the boyfriend, Janice!

oh my god, i have such a feeling that he's going to pop the big question on the 14th, you know that fluttering sensation that could be an arrhythmia but isn't quite? i mean at least i hope it isn't. oh gee, i hope it isn't. well i don't want to dwell on that so let's get back to the topic on hand.

so i have that feeling cuz you know he's preparing me and training me to be a real good doctor's wife, which as you know, (well - you probably don't know, but try to imagine anyway) is an occupation in its own and a position on the social hierarchy. totem pole or maybe the caste system elaborates it better for you.

anyhow, my pulmonology boyfriend, he's like, "i don't want you to be a snobby girlfriend cuz of who i am, i want you to be your own person". ain't he sweet. he makes me melt. his sister is a pulmonologist also. she really knows a lot about medicine and she knows a lot of men. she's not married though. she was telling me how glad she is that I'm so level-headed and that I'm also doing hospital work.

she tells me that most doctors' wives are really protective about their husbands and when she is at parties and talks to these guys that she's literally grown up with going to medical school and residency and fellowship and spending countless working hours with them, these non-medical wives jump in jealously with fangs bared like she's going to steal them away. like if she wanted to sleep with them, she could easily do that any time. women in medicine are generally scared of being misunderstood by these non medical wives due to their utter foolishness.

my heart is till fluttering, you think I'm having an arrhythmia, hellasangel? i better go and do some pranayama to feel better.

oh, how romantic and cute - a proposal on valentine's day! i am so excited for you and waiting with bated breath. please let us know right away and do not make us wait. we can't afford a prolonged apnea(?).

oh thank you, you too, don't hold your breath for too long, i don't want you to turn all blue and croak and dye!
he asked me what i wanted and i like no flowers or plants please, just some ice. so i hope he got the hint.

yes, i hope so too and doesn't take you ice skating or some such thing instead. by the way, with all this technology abound, do you think you could live tweet or blog the day? we will make sure rishi doesn't read it.

by gone Wed Feb 12, 2014 11:30 pm

Don't even think of changing his mind about his work or patients. He took that oath to serve his patients first, even before his own family or parents or children. His patients will always come first.

by Kris Wed Feb 12, 2014 11:34 pm

Tracy Whitney wrote:
Kris wrote:
pravalika nanda wrote:
Tracy Whitney wrote:PNNNNNN

who have a BOYFRIENDDDDDD

who when where how?

you seem surprised, tracy. i wonder why.

>>>Wait-- does that mean Manjay doesn't have a chance?

oh. totally forgot that. well, one of us needs to host the engagement party, and another one needs to hold a sorry party for Rishi replete with ghazals and booze. Uff. Who wants to organize which one?

>>>I will do the ghazal, booze party, although I don't much care for the ghazal stuff. I have done the 'many fish in the ocean' routine often enough, although truth be told it was just an excuse to partake in the booze. Manjay will be alright. There is always the next train ride, the easy conversation, the casual queries on bra sizes (no, wait it was about whether they had a wig on-- my bad!). Make the engagement party preparations..Make sure there is an open bar.

P.S. Manjay gives away the bride and sings a soulful tune about parting etc etc. Kind of an Indian movie touch there.

by pravalika nanda Wed Feb 12, 2014 11:36 pm

mainstreet wrote:Don't even think of changing his mind about his work or patients. He took that oath to serve his patients first, even before his own family or parents or children. His patients will always come first.

well, if I have a cough and cold or anxiety, I'm going to turn to him. so I will be his patient first and his wife second. I mean the idea is to get better and direct healthcare isn't it? there should be a lucrative advantage to any marriage.

by gone Wed Feb 12, 2014 11:38 pm

Wait! Did you say you're a virgin?!?! How old are you???? How could you be with some guy in a serious relationship and still be a virgin? Wouldn't you want to be sure he's not impotent or really bad in bed or gay. Or does his being a physician make sexual comparability unimportant?

by pravalika nanda Wed Feb 12, 2014 11:39 pm

Kris wrote:
Tracy Whitney wrote:
Kris wrote:
pravalika nanda wrote:
Tracy Whitney wrote:PNNNNNN

who have a BOYFRIENDDDDDD

who when where how?

you seem surprised, tracy. i wonder why.

>>>Wait-- does that mean Manjay doesn't have a chance?

oh. totally forgot that. well, one of us needs to host the engagement party, and another one needs to hold a sorry party for Rishi replete with ghazals and booze. Uff. Who wants to organize which one?

>>>I will do the ghazal, booze party, although I don't much care for the ghazal stuff. I have done the 'many fish in the ocean' routine often enough, although truth be told it was just an excuse to partake in the booze. Manjay will be alright. There is always the next train ride, the easy conversation, the casual queries on bra sizes (no, wait it was about whether they had a wig on-- my bad!). Make the engagement party preparations..Make sure there is an open bar.

P.S. Manjay gives away the bride and sings a soulful tune about parting etc etc. Kind of an Indian movie touch there.

rishi is a better man than that, he will take another online course in mathematics and he'll feel so much better after that.

by gone Wed Feb 12, 2014 11:39 pm

A pulmonologist and critical care guy is hardly going to consider you a patient because you have a cold.

by garam_kuta Wed Feb 12, 2014 11:41 pm

pravalika nanda wrote:
garam_kuta wrote:
pravalika nanda wrote:
max, if my heart becomes still, i will d.y.e. a v.i.r.g.i.n.
this is not the time for sting. any nice soothing Carnatic music?
don't you worry..I bet, its gonna be PINK alright

oh you naughty boy, that is a good idea, i will arm myself with something very slinky from Victoria's secret.
what are your plans, hot dog? how does one keep the tam bram wife happy?

that's easy, i gather. wussy iyer boyz ignore dubaiya and stick to the rest like a leech Wink

by pravalika nanda Wed Feb 12, 2014 11:44 pm

mainstreet wrote:Wait! Did you say you're a virgin?!?!
**fyi, it's the intelligent thing to say.

How old are you???? How could you be with some guy in a serious relationship and still be a virgin?
**penetration can be time-consuming and can be a hit and miss. he's very busy. anyhow I've decided to go with IVF and surrogacy. I'm not going to sit around being pregnant for 9 mos and missing work! there are taxes to pay!

Wouldn't you want to be sure he's not impotent or really bad in bed or gay. Or does his being a physician make sexual comparability unimportant?

by pravalika nanda Wed Feb 12, 2014 11:47 pm

mainstreet wrote:A pulmonologist and critical care guy is hardly going to consider you a patient because you have a cold.

oh. well isn't that the upper resp tract? anyhow I intend to have a very bad cold with some wheezing when necessary and that is that.

by pravalika nanda Wed Feb 12, 2014 11:47 pm

I'm sleepy, good night.

by bw Wed Feb 12, 2014 11:49 pm

pravalika nanda wrote:
mainstreet wrote:Wait! Did you say you're a virgin?!?!
**fyi, it's the intelligent thing to say.

How old are you???? How could you be with some guy in a serious relationship and still be a virgin?
**penetration can be time-consuming and can be a hit and miss. he's very busy. anyhow I've decided to go with IVF and surrogacy. I'm not going to sit around being pregnant for 9 mos and missing work! there are taxes to pay!

Wouldn't you want to be sure he's not impotent or really bad in bed or gay. Or does his being a physician make sexual comparability unimportant?

oh, don't kill the sweet innocence of a valentine's day proposal with all these gory details!

by Guest Wed Feb 12, 2014 11:52 pm

pravalika nanda wrote:
mainstreet wrote:Wait! Did you say you're a virgin?!?!
**fyi, it's the intelligent thing to say.

How old are you???? How could you be with some guy in a serious relationship and still be a virgin?
**penetration can be time-consuming and can be a hit and miss. he's very busy. anyhow I've decided to go with IVF and surrogacy. I'm not going to sit around being pregnant for 9 mos and missing work! there are taxes to pay!

Wouldn't you want to be sure he's not impotent or really bad in bed or gay. Or does his being a physician make sexual comparability unimportant?

why pulmonologists should be making good money in this smoky country, no?

by garam_kuta Wed Feb 12, 2014 11:52 pm

pravalika nanda wrote:
mainstreet wrote:A pulmonologist and critical care guy is hardly going to consider you a patient because you have a cold.

oh. well isn't that the upper resp tract? anyhow I intend to have a very bad cold with some wheezing when necessary and that is that.

isn't that more difficult to fake than other congestion and flow?

by gone Wed Feb 12, 2014 11:56 pm

You're not going to need vents when you have a cold. In any case, doctors don't treat their own family members any longer. It's considered a huge no-no in the medical community. My husband will never be my physician.

by pravalika nanda Wed Feb 12, 2014 11:59 pm

mainstreet wrote:You're not going to need vents when you have a cold. In any case, doctors don't treat their own family members any longer. It's considered a huge no-no in the medical community. My husband will never be my physician.

well you're missing out on chance to save time money and be more intimate. you ought to rethink this.

by pravalika nanda Thu Feb 13, 2014 12:00 am

Tracy Whitney wrote:
pravalika nanda wrote:
mainstreet wrote:Wait! Did you say you're a virgin?!?!
**fyi, it's the intelligent thing to say.

How old are you???? How could you be with some guy in a serious relationship and still be a virgin?
**penetration can be time-consuming and can be a hit and miss. he's very busy. anyhow I've decided to go with IVF and surrogacy. I'm not going to sit around being pregnant for 9 mos and missing work! there are taxes to pay!

Wouldn't you want to be sure he's not impotent or really bad in bed or gay. Or does his being a physician make sexual comparability unimportant?

why pulmonologists should be making good money in this smoky country, no?

no one in medicine makes money, tracy. it's a dog's job and and a dangerous one too.

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Thu Feb 13, 2014 12:00 am

mainstreet wrote:It's not just the desis. Even the natives. Not polished and I think they get their clothes from Walmart.

Wow..wow..wow..woooooooooooowww...

people who buy in Blommingdales and Macys are just dumb - sorry..downright stupid...to pay triple the price for the same thing made in beggardesh.

by pravalika nanda Thu Feb 13, 2014 12:08 am

bw wrote:
pravalika nanda wrote:
mainstreet wrote:Wait! Did you say you're a virgin?!?!
**fyi, it's the intelligent thing to say.

How old are you???? How could you be with some guy in a serious relationship and still be a virgin?
**penetration can be time-consuming and can be a hit and miss. he's very busy. anyhow I've decided to go with IVF and surrogacy. I'm not going to sit around being pregnant for 9 mos and missing work! there are taxes to pay!

Wouldn't you want to be sure he's not impotent or really bad in bed or gay. Or does his being a physician make sexual comparability unimportant?

oh, don't kill the sweet innocence of a valentine's day proposal with all these gory details!

well I shouldn't have brought up talk of taxes. I know of people who have gone into asystole from the tax axe.

anyhow. the rest of it isn't so bad. in his culture, they really like to move with the times and use the latest technology. one has to acknowledge the fact that regular sex is primitive, time-consuming, unclean, it uses up a lot of calories, can induce vertigo in certain positions, perhaps even cause a rib fracture if one hugs too tightly, damage the bed and the bedsheets. it can also get loud and boisterous and cause noise pollution. and well, ,after I met him I began to understand that it is far more sensual to just touch each other's extremities and go the ivf way. I hope I can change your mind too, think about it. If your heart fxn is not good, you could have a heart attack and die during sex. I'm afraid most people don't realize what a precarious exercise it is.

by Guest Thu Feb 13, 2014 12:13 am

pravalika nanda wrote:
bw wrote:
pravalika nanda wrote:
mainstreet wrote:Wait! Did you say you're a virgin?!?!
**fyi, it's the intelligent thing to say.

How old are you???? How could you be with some guy in a serious relationship and still be a virgin?
**penetration can be time-consuming and can be a hit and miss. he's very busy. anyhow I've decided to go with IVF and surrogacy. I'm not going to sit around being pregnant for 9 mos and missing work! there are taxes to pay!

Wouldn't you want to be sure he's not impotent or really bad in bed or gay. Or does his being a physician make sexual comparability unimportant?

oh, don't kill the sweet innocence of a valentine's day proposal with all these gory details!
well I shouldn't have brought up talk of taxes. I know of people who have gone into asystole from the tax axe.

anyhow. the rest of it isn't so bad. in his culture, they really like to move with the times and use the latest technology. one has to acknowledge the fact that regular sex is primitive, time-consuming, unclean, it uses up a lot of calories, can induce vertigo in certain positions, perhaps even cause a rib fracture if one hugs too tightly, damage the bed and the bedsheets. it can also get loud and boisterous and cause noise pollution. and well, ,after I met him I began to understand that it is far more sensual to just touch each other's extremities and go the ivf way. I hope I can change your mind too, think about it. If your heart fxn is not good, you could have a heart attack and die during sex.

I think he is telling you he doesn't have much income and sending huge paychecks to his gay partner. Do a background check quick. You still have about 45 hours!!!

If this is not the case, sorry I said so and... have a sterile loving marriage!

by bw Thu Feb 13, 2014 12:22 am

pravalika nanda wrote:
bw wrote:
pravalika nanda wrote:
mainstreet wrote:Wait! Did you say you're a virgin?!?!
**fyi, it's the intelligent thing to say.

How old are you???? How could you be with some guy in a serious relationship and still be a virgin?
**penetration can be time-consuming and can be a hit and miss. he's very busy. anyhow I've decided to go with IVF and surrogacy. I'm not going to sit around being pregnant for 9 mos and missing work! there are taxes to pay!

Wouldn't you want to be sure he's not impotent or really bad in bed or gay. Or does his being a physician make sexual comparability unimportant?

oh, don't kill the sweet innocence of a valentine's day proposal with all these gory details!
well I shouldn't have brought up talk of taxes. I know of people who have gone into asystole from the tax axe.

anyhow. the rest of it isn't so bad. in his culture, they really like to move with the times and use the latest technology. one has to acknowledge the fact that regular sex is primitive, time-consuming, unclean, it uses up a lot of calories, can induce vertigo in certain positions, perhaps even cause a rib fracture if one hugs too tightly, damage the bed and the bedsheets. it can also get loud and boisterous and cause noise pollution. and well, ,after I met him I began to understand that it is far more sensual to just touch each other's extremities and go the ivf way. I hope I can change your mind too, think about it. If your heart fxn is not good, you could have a heart attack and die during sex. I'm afraid most people don't realize what a precarious exercise it is.

what culture is he from? is he a member of some new age cult? regarding other matters, if that's what you want and like, that's what you must do.

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Thu Feb 13, 2014 12:23 am

Hellsangel wrote:Congratulations on the boyfriend, Janice!

That is what I noticed....first....

and it needed a Rotten-lungs specialist to state the obvious that even Kindergarters voluntarily spread the message on weekends?

by gone Thu Feb 13, 2014 12:27 am

Good lord! I get the feeling that you (PN) are not quite normal. Sex is a beautiful thing between two people who care for each other. Even if sex drives change later in life, you should both be sexually attracted to each other when you get married.

You are no spring chicken and nor is he. Neither of you should be pretending to be teenage virgins at your age. You should be discussing things like past partners, getting tested, and then getting it on. Something just does not feel right here.

by gone Thu Feb 13, 2014 12:31 am

Yeah, definitely discuss finances, exchange credit reports, discuss how many kids you both want, meet all his friends (if the men all seem feminine, red flags!), have sex with him after getting tested and get to know him for at least 12 months before making a lifetime commitment.

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Thu Feb 13, 2014 12:34 am

pravalika nanda wrote:[
anyhow, my pulmonology boyfriend, he's like, "i don't want you to be a snobby girlfriend cuz of who i am, i want you to be your own person". ain't he sweet. he makes me melt. his sister is a pulmonologist also. she really knows a lot about medicine and she knows a lot of men. she's not married though. she was telling me how glad she is that I'm so level-headed and that I'm also doing hospital work.

you know...the important thing for a successful marriage is to present your true self before marriage... Congratulations on a job well done...BTW, did u intern at any used car dealership?

Oh, BTW, I heard that a non-medico GF was so jealous, worried, and insecure that her BF would be doing OBGYN exams... No amount of explanation would convince her to calm down. So, aren't you worried that he will bring home TB and give it to kids or he will be dealing with many dying patients in ventilators and come home to make love to you? Just imagine...that scene.

Oh, BTW keep up your good act till the actual marriage. Engagement and popping the question mean nothing in Amrikaa..It is all a gimmick to pop champagne,among other things.

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