Re: Love Story 2. Part 7.

by Guest Mon Jul 25, 2011 2:12 pm

Administrator should create a forum for blogs.

by Guest Mon Jul 25, 2011 2:35 pm

finally i read the story over the wknd...good going tracy :-bd

i do have some questions which i'll ask after you finish for most of my questions were answered in the following parts.

by Guest Mon Jul 25, 2011 2:55 pm

thanks! when I was writing this I had thought I would end ls2 in about 9-10 parts, and then will begin the US or the marriage story. But I began lacking content after I wrote abotu 8 parts, and then honestly lost interest. Besides, tragedies make better stories and ls2 was going pretty smoothly, if you know what I mean. But most of all the rough parts that did happen, I didn't know how to express them. So I simply stopped.

Besides, even though I am mostly just rewriting bits of the story, it's still a pretty painful process to go through that time of 20-25 years ago. So hard to keep things in perspective and maintain a tone like you had at that time. Am no writer. Hence the struggles.

by Guest Mon Jul 25, 2011 3:00 pm

Tracy Whitney wrote:thanks! when I was writing this I had thought I would end ls2 in about 9-10 parts, and then will begin the US or the marriage story. But I began lacking content after I wrote abotu 8 parts, and then honestly lost interest. Besides, tragedies make better stories and ls2 was going pretty smoothly, if you know what I mean. But most of all the rough parts that did happen, I didn't know how to express them. So I simply stopped.

Besides, even though I am mostly just rewriting bits of the story, it's still a pretty painful process to go through that time of 20-25 years ago. So hard to keep things in perspective and maintain a tone like you had at that time. Am no writer. Hence the struggles.

i dont like sad stories. good u omitted that part. yeah i understand the thing u said about maintaining the tone, it can be very tricky. you did well. u r like that duck who paddles hard under water but seems calm/smooth at the surface. i cudnt tell you had trouble telling the story at all from wat u wrote :-)

by Guest Mon Jul 25, 2011 3:14 pm

I didn't leave out the sad parts. I stopped writing when I found it hard to express the sad parts of ls2.

btw, what questions did you have?

by Guest Mon Jul 25, 2011 3:26 pm

i cant remember now. but i do remember getting them answered in following part or next...it was like reading julia quin novel. DH was like itna magan hoke kya padh rahi ho? khana milega ya nahi Smile

)

i was like tracy whitney's love story and he goes who ? and i was like aati hai hamare coffeehouse mein and back to reading without encouraging more questions Razz

like in this last part (7) i am wondering why didnt he speak to your mom n dad directly at first instead of talking to you, esp when he was friends with your dad. i know guys have to go through this ( like talk to girl's dad/ elder brother etc.) but couldn't imagine girls in that position. i think u did very well in the situation, convincing him for inter-language-shadi.

waiting for next part...

by Guest Mon Jul 25, 2011 3:37 pm

he had always held my dad in awe. would never dream of directly going to him. He usually stayes quiet in front of my dad, when he is just not the person who can ever stay quiet. Ah my dad is such a cutie. Totally unaware of his own jatness.

besides, he really was against this. if he could have, he would have nipped it in the bud. but the only thing kabir kept repeating to him was, 'you cannot reject a girl w/o even knowing who she is'. Hence the need to come talk to me. he was pretty sure he would be able to drive me away. i have no idea why he ultimately agreed.

by Guest Mon Jul 25, 2011 3:43 pm

i see.

by Kris Tue Jul 26, 2011 12:14 am

that he does not want a ‘Hindi’ daughter-in-law

>>>>> Kabir's dad was not like that to begin with. I remember, though I was a wee lad at that time. Kabir's dad then started hangin' out with Kayal Vizhi and developed this antipathy to 'Hindi'ans. Anyway, KV was not thrilled when she heard about his change of heart, just an FYI.

by Guest Tue Jul 26, 2011 1:38 am

this is probably the best chapter and the only one that i read in entirety. was the conversation with kabir's dad in hindi or english?

by Guest Tue Jul 26, 2011 9:46 am

Kris wrote:that he does not want a ‘Hindi’ daughter-in-law

>>>>> Kabir's dad was not like that to begin with. I remember, though I was a wee lad at that time. Kabir's dad then started hangin' out with Kayal Vizhi and developed this antipathy to 'Hindi'ans. Anyway, KV was not thrilled when she heard about his change of heart, just an FYI.

haha. One day I'd got annoyed at K. 'why do you guys call us Hindi? Hindi. Doesn't even make sense. It's the name of a language. Doesn't meant we are hindi'. He was like, 'well, just the way you call us Marathi we call you Hindi. Marathi is also just a language'.

Ah ok. Never mind then. We are good.

HK. Most of the convo was in Hindi. About 20% of it was in English/hinglish.

by Guest Tue Jul 26, 2011 10:26 am

ok, 2 questions. apologies if they have already been answered elsewhere -- i've only read the chapters in snatches:

- where did your father hail from? mom was originally from UP i guess.
- which hindi city is the above cast in?

i'm more interested in the after marriage story but i guess you have not written that or won't be writing it?

by Guest Tue Jul 26, 2011 10:31 am

My paternal grandparents are from Haryana. My Maternal grandparents are from UP. Both my parents grew up in two different states but in sorta their own ghettos. I am a NI mutt. Can't tell here where I am from.

When I began writing this 3 years ago, I had thought I would begin a marriage story too. But lost interest along the way. Also, it had too many characters from here who I am still pretty close to. But most importantly, I was finding it harder and harder to go down the memory lane. Will see if I could do it this time.

by Guest Tue Jul 26, 2011 10:44 am

Tracy Whitney wrote:My paternal grandparents are from Haryana. My Maternal grandparents are from UP. Both my parents grew up in two different states but in sorta their own ghettos.

i'm confused. dad grew up in UP and mom in haryana? or one in maharashtra and the other in rajasthan? how did they meet then? was it an arranged marriage?

edit. is your dad brahmin? mom?

by Rekz Tue Jul 26, 2011 10:48 am

Huzefa Kapasi wrote:
Tracy Whitney wrote:My paternal grandparents are from Haryana. My Maternal grandparents are from UP. Both my parents grew up in two different states but in sorta their own ghettos.

i'm confused. dad grew up in UP and mom in haryana? or one in maharashtra and the other in rajasthan? how did they meet then? was it an arranged marriage?

arre HK give up yaar...nobody is gonna give real details ...you are the one and only hero here:)

by Guest Tue Jul 26, 2011 10:53 am

I meant mom didn't grow up in UP as her parents migrated out from there. Same way dad didn't grow up in Haryana as both his parents didn't grow up there. There's was an arranged marriage. Back in 1961-62 when they got engaged, this was the norm. Dad was in London doing fellowship. Mom had finished med school. My dad's mother got an allaince through... (someone, jeez I gotta fill in the blanks on this one).

People used to tell my nani that no one will marry my mom coz she was short and dark (haha, she wasn't but we are talking relatively). My nani put her patrika in the God's nook and told Him to take care of her.

Dadi's priest saw my mom's patrika and said, 'if you can bring her even in one set of clothes, don't miss this opportunity, she's extremely lucky'. Dadi took an early train with my uncle to see my mom and finalized the engagement. Then their love story began with writing letters. Dad was very prompt about it. Mom got a letter from hinm every Thursday, no exceptions. He came back in 2-3 years and they got married.

edit: yep. both brahmins.

by Guest Tue Jul 26, 2011 11:11 am

oh wow. both your parents were highly educated. but you turned out like this?

my marriage was also arranged through a patrika (i mean community or samaaj matrimonial booklet).

by Guest Tue Jul 26, 2011 11:13 am

Huzefa Kapasi wrote:oh wow. both your parents were highly educated. but you turned out like this?

my marriage was also arranged through a patrika (i mean community or samaaj matrimonial booklet).

lol.. what do you mean I turned out like this? I am a 'trivedi', didn't you know that?

by Guest Tue Jul 26, 2011 11:14 am

Rekz wrote:arre HK give up yaar...nobody is gonna give real details ...you are the one and only hero here:)

arre, only trying to understand the dynamics of arranged marriages bbb aunty. you see i'm a product of one too. i am more interested in trivediji's parents' alliance than hers but unfortunately they don't blog.

by Guest Tue Jul 26, 2011 11:17 am

Tracy Whitney wrote:lol.. what do you mean I turned out like this? I am a 'trivedi', didn't you know that?

castes are meaningless in today's world trivediji (quoting tracy whitney). i'd have expected something like dr. tracy trivedi, frcs, bar-at-law, mphil, london.

by Guest Tue Jul 26, 2011 11:21 am

Actually HK my Dadi and Nani are totally worth writing about. Specially my dadi. The way she made decisions about her kids, and how she learned along the way. She used to sit me down and tell everything. Didn't matter whether I was barely 10 at the time. She had a full audience in me. And I remember each and every word she told me.

And oh man, I can write volumes on Kabir's grandma. Abhi story mein unki entry hui nahi hai. Hogi jab na sir samajh mein aayega, na pair.

We began getting less and less interesting with each generation. *shrug*

by Guest Tue Jul 26, 2011 11:23 am

Huzefa Kapasi wrote:
Tracy Whitney wrote:lol.. what do you mean I turned out like this? I am a 'trivedi', didn't you know that?

castes are meaningless in today's world trivediji (quoting tracy whitney). i'd have expected something like dr. tracy trivedi, frcs, bar-at-law, mphil, london.

ya well. both rents and sis etc are chaturvedi's. I see what you mean. I became more materialistic. I blame Kamal.

by Guest Tue Jul 26, 2011 11:32 am

o ho. wat does rents and sis mean. you mean parents were chaturvedis?????? really? sis married a chaturvedi i guess.

by Guest Tue Jul 26, 2011 11:42 am

need seva here to go through the whole veda system.

by Guest Tue Jul 26, 2011 11:52 am

no no simple question yaar. were your rents chaturvedis? just asking. btw i have to thank you for answering my earlier questions. you have changed.

by Guest Tue Jul 26, 2011 12:09 pm

dad did two fellowships. mom did mbbs residency and then residency + md when she changed her field after marriage. guessing dad's a chaturvedi. not sure about mom.

by Guest Tue Jul 26, 2011 12:14 pm

lol biatch. ktxsbai

by Guest Tue Jul 26, 2011 1:53 pm

key takeaway: hindi is a great unifier. hindi the artificial language taught in school.

by Guest Wed Jul 27, 2011 12:20 am

Huzefa Kapasi wrote:lol biatch. ktxsbai

sorry, no offense. i got the joke late (chaturvedi vs trivedi) and was, in a way, laughing at myself. i should have understood when you mentioned seva.

by Kris Wed Jul 27, 2011 12:34 am

'well, just the way you call us Marathi we call you Hindi. Marathi is also just a language'.

Ah ok. Never mind then. We are good.

>>>So, what was the resolution? There are two choices that i see : a) you are a 'hindi'an (shades of KV here); or (b) he is a marath?

Inquiring minds want to know..

Smile

P.S. I take it you married K (unless, the whitney thing happened after that and you are doing sequential love stories here)

Hahahah

by Guest Wed Jul 27, 2011 12:41 am

Kris wrote:'>>>So, what was the resolution? There are two choices that i see : a) you are a 'hindi'an (shades of KV here); or (b) he is a marath?

that is a good question! i think we might have our first full fledged language war here. a few more questions:

(i) what do you speak at home (with k) other than in english. if hindi, then is he ingratiating? what about with kids? if a smattering of hindi and no marathi then can we conclude that your hindi agenda has been an absolute success?

by Another Brick Wed Jul 27, 2011 1:25 am

ms tracey trivedi, although i have not read your story, it appears from the reaction of CHers that your story is engaging. ever thought of publishing your e-book? a collection of stories maybe?

a question to all - has anyone else here tried to publish their e-book on amazon? tiana, you listening?

by Guest Wed Jul 27, 2011 2:31 am

Tracy Whitney wrote:Actually HK my Dadi and Nani are totally worth writing about. Specially my dadi. The way she made decisions about her kids, and how she learned along the way. She used to sit me down and tell everything. Didn't matter whether I was barely 10 at the time. She had a full audience in me. And I remember each and every word she told me.

And oh man, I can write volumes on Kabir's grandma. Abhi story mein unki entry hui nahi hai. Hogi jab na sir samajh mein aayega, na pair.

We began getting less and less interesting with each generation. *shrug*

my nani was an apology of a woman. she manipulated my mother to discharge her own responsibilities - financial and emotional. my mother played along but after my mother's death i understood exactly how much regard my nani and her kids had for my mother and our family. i think there was a major complex they had with my mom. they were rich till my mom got wed. my father got rich after mom got wed. my dadi or amma was a crazy woman. she's responsible for the madness genes rampant in my extended family. maybe i too should write about them. actually, if i ever do, i'll write about my eldest tauji -- the patriarch of our joint family. he was a hero of a man worth emulating. at the young age of 31/32, he started wearing a topi and a nehru jacket to appear older to arrange the alliance of my father (and his other brothers). i think, for me, sense of duty or dharam is the noblest characteristic in a man. i'm a sucker for it.

by Another Brick Wed Jul 27, 2011 3:42 am

Tracey Trivedi mode ON

i have never seen my grandfathers. and i wasn't very close to my grandmothers because they never stayed with us. the only time i would meet my maternal grandmother (MGM) was when i visited my mama. she was bed-ridden then. she had no time for me. yet i must point out that she showed what i now think was affection by pinching me on the body part that is meant only for such things. she passed away when i was 10.

my PGM visited us for a month when i was 12-13 (the only time i spent with her) but she took no interest in me. why would she? she had six sons and two daughters and i was her youngest grandchild among a gang of dozen. i have no memories of her except something she would say about our pet dog. she passed away, at the age of 95 or so. i was 20 then.

some more exposure to grandparents would have been good for me, i think.
i would have at least learnt to respect old people at the right age.

Tracey Trivedi mode OFF

by Guest Wed Jul 27, 2011 10:12 am

nice grandparents story all.

we speak hindi. k is more fluent in it anyway. kids can understand hindi, marathi, and gujarati, in that order.

we have compromised on 'maharashtrian'. there is still no consensus on what to call me. hindi-bhashi or ni comes up sometimes.

i can't publish any e-book. i will need a full time editor for that. and then that whole legal issue of taking permissions, even though all the characters in these stories are fictitious Smile

I had written only upto part 9. am thinking of writing one last chapter 10 on ls 2 and wrap it up. 10 is a good round number I guess.

by Guest Wed Jul 27, 2011 10:37 am

Tracy Whitney wrote:there is still no consensus on what to call me. hindi-bhashi or ni comes up sometimes.

hindi-bhashi does not have a nice ring to it. also, it is not correct considering two generations of K are fluent in hindi (K's father's marathi chauvinism apart). also, K's argument that you call them marathi so you can be called hindi is also not correct. many states have the same word for the language and people like punjabi, bengali and gujarati. that this is not true for hindi should be commonsense considering hindi is widely spoken. ni is a vague term. i like neither ni nor hindi-bhashi. but i can't come up with an alternative descriptor for you. so probably ni is right. or perhaps ni-aunty is even better.

by Guest Wed Jul 27, 2011 10:51 am

there are indeed a lot of questions about my ethnicity. daughter keeps complaining how I look like no other indian she knows. She has seen mostly gujjus, marathis, and si's. Even people back home have different looks. I tell her to take a hike in the cow belt and there she would see many of my kind. Both my kids look like K. In fact my bro's daughter looks more like me than my own kids.

just 2 days ago when I bought an eye liner I was telling her, 'whenever I put eye liner on, papa (K) calls me a muslim'. She goes, 'whenever you do ANYTHING to your looks you look a muslim, mommy. Whether you wear that black shawl in your FB pic, whether you wear ear rings, whether you wear your hair any differently, you look a muslim. And you know why? It's coz you have that long nose like them'.

oh well.

by Guest Wed Jul 27, 2011 11:26 am

Tracy Whitney wrote: It's coz you have that long nose like them'.

ah, you look like sanjay dutt.

I tell her to take a hike in the cow belt...

i was toying with that term in my earlier post but avoided using it. that's the epithet the shiv sena and other chauvinist goons use to depreciate the species of the cow belt: bhaiyas (meaning gwalas or those engaged in dairy). but considering your haryana connections perhaps this should apply to the milk-affluent-states region (western up, haryana, punjab).

there are indeed a lot of questions about my ethnicity....

bombard kids with lots of facts about yourself including irrelevant details. it's ok to lie a bit too but tell them that you are not sure if it is a myth or a fact. i tell my kids our great ancestors jumped out of fire and became rajputs. but they know i'm a little crazy. but i digress. anyhow, show them as much as you can. this will confuse the heck out of them and sooner or later they will feel numbed and stop thinking about it or resolve the dialogs over the period of their lives using your clues and their investigations. however, if you evade, you run the risk of their forming incipient, outlandish theories about their own ethnicity -- which can be dangerous. take them travelling through UP and Haryana -- absolute must.

i can understand about the muslim thing. eye liner or kohl, to me, is a distinctively muslim thing. there are a few things i identify with being muslim - kajal, ittar, loud green and yellow or disco colours (as wall tiles, house paint or decorative objects), and a few more that i forget. i say the same thing to my wife when she uses kajal.

by Guest Wed Jul 27, 2011 11:31 am

oh ya, i also tell my kids that from their mom's side they are descendants of ashoka (who was a descendant of gautama buddha).

by Guest Wed Jul 27, 2011 12:03 pm

hahaha at

if you evade, you run the risk of their forming incipient, outlandish theories about their own ethnicity

and then

it's ok to lie a bit too but tell them that you are not sure if it is a myth or a fact. tell my kids our great ancestors jumped out of fire and became rajputs. but they know i'm a little crazy.

So like, I should lie a bit so that they don't?

by Propagandhi711 Wed Jul 27, 2011 12:08 pm

Tracy Whitney wrote:nice grandparents story all.

havent told you about my great grandfather that was a farmer and tripodan among other things, have I?

by Guest Wed Jul 27, 2011 12:11 pm

Tracy Whitney wrote:So like, I should lie a bit so that they don't?

yes, but always in the periphery of the the truth. oh, don't worry they will not lie about their ethnicity to you. Razz

by Guest Wed Jul 27, 2011 12:13 pm

Propagandhi711 wrote:havent told you about my great grandfather that was a farmer and tripodan among other things, have I?

what is a tripodan? you mean photographer?

by Guest Wed Jul 27, 2011 12:17 pm

Propagandhi711 wrote:
Tracy Whitney wrote:nice grandparents story all.

havent told you about my great grandfather that was a farmer and tripodan among other things, have I?

yes. this story is defnitely worth passing through the generations.

by Propagandhi711 Wed Jul 27, 2011 12:44 pm

Huzefa Kapasi wrote:
Propagandhi711 wrote:havent told you about my great grandfather that was a farmer and tripodan among other things, have I?

what is a tripodan? you mean photographer?

yeah he could take steady pictures if he wanted to.

by Hellsangel Wed Jul 27, 2011 12:48 pm

Huzefa Kapasi wrote:
Propagandhi711 wrote:havent told you about my great grandfather that was a farmer and tripodan among other things, have I?

what is a tripodan? you mean photographer?

The only common thing is that both shoot.

by artood2 Wed Jul 27, 2011 1:38 pm

Hellsangel wrote:
Huzefa Kapasi wrote:
Propagandhi711 wrote:havent told you about my great grandfather that was a farmer and tripodan among other things, have I?

what is a tripodan? you mean photographer?
The only common thing is that both shoot.

The shooting range is a different matter altogether.

by Guest Wed Jul 27, 2011 2:28 pm

Huzefa Kapasi wrote:
Tracy Whitney wrote: I tell her to take a hike in the cow belt. ..

ah, but they'd feel disappointed if that they did not see a sanjay dutt in the cow belt. tell them to just see.

by Guest Wed Jul 27, 2011 3:11 pm

just like green is not a muslim-only colour, kajal is not a muslim thing.

eww puhleez! i wear kajal/liner mascara all the time and dont look least bit muslim :-&

by Guest Thu Jul 28, 2011 2:27 am

seven wrote:just like green is not a muslim-only colour, kajal is not a muslim thing.

eww puhleez! i wear kajal/liner mascara all the time and dont look least bit muslim :-&

OK shaktiman

*i'm not arguing with you -- good try*

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