moral policing

by Guest Wed Jan 21, 2015 12:05 pm

http://www.firstpost.com/living/suspended-for-befriending-boy-bangalore-teen-kills-herself-why-schools-shouldnt-be-moral-police-2057021.html

On 18 January, following an argument with her mother, 15-year-old Monali Mahala rushed to the master bedroom of her upscale, tenth-floor Bangalore apartment. She then locked it from inside and leaped out of the window. Before Monali turns into a forgotten statistic in India's suicide data - presently showing a spike - here's a one line reconstruction of the events that allegedly led to her death. Monali's principal suspended her from school for a day and called her mother to complain about her friendship with a boy from her school, a resident of the same building as hers.

by southindian Wed Jan 21, 2015 12:48 pm

Stupid girl.

Someday parents will also be asked to stop moral policing.

by Guest Wed Jan 21, 2015 12:54 pm

there are some valid points in the article.

"A school despite its best interests should never lose sight of the fact that after all, it is a public space with little, or no scope for privacy. A punishment, therefore, is not a personal experience handed down by one person and face by another with no one else looking on. Being hauled up in school is an experience of public shaming. In some instances, it helps mend the ways of students gone astray. But if used indiscriminately, like in this particular case, it might have severe, fatal repercussions.

One has to add that the school's response to Monali's relationship with the boy was fraught with the same alarmist, disapproving, anxious response that is the hallmark of the middle class society's reaction to an interaction between two sexes. The overreaction to the students' friendship - calling parents, suspension - reeks of the same self righteous opinions on pre-marital relationships that make police officers rough up couples in public spaces.
It is true that Monali was perhaps too young to be in a relationship. But it is also true that she was 15, the age we credit sexual awakening with. It is not unusual to have crushes, infatuations and relationships at that age and we have all, with some success, waded through it. And most of us were not sent packing off from school for being friends with a boy. A school principal, of all people, should have known how to manage adolescent students and their interests.
Monali ended her life because clearly, she hated what she looked like to others. All of us have known that feeling and it's not an easy one to survive at 15."

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Wed Jan 21, 2015 2:20 pm

Beatrix Kiddo wrote:http://www.firstpost.com/living/suspended-for-befriending-boy-bangalore-teen-kills-herself-why-schools-shouldnt-be-moral-police-2057021.html

On 18 January, following an argument with her mother, 15-year-old Monali Mahala rushed to the master bedroom of her upscale, tenth-floor Bangalore apartment. She then locked it from inside and leaped out of the window. Before Monali turns into a forgotten statistic in India's suicide data - presently showing a spike - here's a one line reconstruction of the events that allegedly led to her death. Monali's principal suspended her from school for a day and called her mother to complain about her friendship with a boy from her school, a resident of the same building as hers.

In this day and age - preventing boys and girls from becoming friends to talking to each other is so stupid.

Besides, if the parents had just cautioned the girl to be careful and trusted she would not do anything stupid (certainly not stupider than what she ended up doing), she might have dumped that boy for someone else.

by Guest Wed Jan 21, 2015 2:44 pm

back then back home, must be the late 80s... 3-4 girls from my school were caught in a big scandal. Was a police case, not sure what came of it. Three of them were known culprits, 4th girl's involvement was not known, but was an accomplice for sure. they were probably 4-5 years senior to me. word spread like fire. (I think they had graduated from high school by then). And like all rumors, there were many versions of this one as well. Creating enough confusion, to the point that you didn't care what exactly happened. All the girls were from rich respected families. Anyway, one of them later got related to me via series of marriage connections. Heard the mom's statement later. Entire world had gone against the poor (?) girl. Even her own father and brother. But the mother stood by her through it. Her stand was, 'if even I don't, who will? Why would I leave my daughter to the elements like that? Ya ok she made a mistake. Why can't she come out of it? Why won't I help her?' They lived on their own for sometime. Later, all was ok.

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Wed Jan 21, 2015 3:28 pm

Beatrix Kiddo wrote:back then back home, must be the late 80s... 3-4 girls from my school were caught in a big scandal. Was a police case, not sure what came of it. Three of them were known culprits, 4th girl's involvement was not known, but was an accomplice for sure. they were probably 4-5 years senior to me. word spread like fire. (I think they had graduated from high school by then). And like all rumors, there were many versions of this one as well. Creating enough confusion, to the point that you didn't care what exactly happened. All the girls were from rich respected families. Anyway, one of them later got related to me via series of marriage connections. Heard the mom's statement later. Entire world had gone against the poor (?) girl. Even her own father and brother. But the mother stood by her through it. Her stand was, 'if even I don't, who will? Why would I leave my daughter to the elements like that? Ya ok she made a mistake. Why can't she come out of it? Why won't I help her?' They lived on their own for sometime. Later, all was ok.

You are no good...you still did not find out what ACTUALLY happened...

by southindian Wed Jan 21, 2015 7:42 pm

"Rich respected families" is a misnomer. Most rich families I have known comprise of 95% idiots, thriving in the shadow of one generous senior citizen.

by Merlot Daruwala Fri Jan 23, 2015 1:35 am

southindian wrote:"Rich respected families" is a misnomer. Most rich families I have known comprise of 95% idiots, thriving in the shadow of one generous senior citizen.

Idiocy of individuals doesn't necessarily diminish respect for the family, Avivek.

Despite you, I respect your family. Particularly your parents who showed such strength of character and refrained from prolicide despite knowing that nobody would have thought any lesser of them if they had given in to the urge.

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