high self esteem

by Guest Tue Jul 31, 2012 3:38 pm

is any woman of any age, color, beauty, weight, money, intelligence allowed to have it, or do u need to be special and earn one?

by Maria S Tue Jul 31, 2012 4:00 pm

I assume that this is a rhetorical question!

"Allowed?" Smile

So cute..who could dare deny that to a woman with high self-esteem!

The only things people have to earn through actions are - trust and credibility, imo.

Since it's a nice and slow summer day..and I am in a song watching/posting mood..here's one you may be quite familiar with..

by Guest Tue Jul 31, 2012 4:35 pm

thanks maria, good one.

Was confronted recently. I said to someone that I have my pride. The usual casual statement. But was asked in return on why do I think so, and what's the reason behind my "supreme" high self esteem. Is it because I think i am attractive, or is it coz one guy in the world thinks that I am worth sleeping with, or do I have any other qualifying factor... considering I am overweight, not so young, and hence, maybe unattractive. So then, what basis do I have to demand certain behavior from people?

So that got me thinking. Never had been questioned like this before. People usually have said nice stuff to me, all through my life. And I took it all with a pinch of salt too.

Never thought I, or anyone, needs to "justify" the reasons behind having self respect. Thought it came with the territory of being a human. On my part, I have never tried to bruise anyone elses ego. Thanks to my very hindu babysitter, all this karma stuff is ingrained in me.

Why did I have a high image of myself? Why did I always expect a certain level of respect? Was it coz my parents instilled loads of it in me (still do)? Was it coz I was always praised?

What if I wasn't praised? Would I have no self respect? How would my life have shaped in that case?

More importantly, why am I now allowing myself to take a hit like this? I like to think everything through. Evaluate fairness in all statements. Do I need to do some retrospection regarding my expectations from people all my life? Outside of workplace, do I need to review what I deserve and what I don't, based on how I look? Do I need to hit the gym just so that I could rightfully command basic consideration and respect from people?

by Maria S Tue Jul 31, 2012 4:56 pm

Natalia Romanova wrote:thanks maria, good one.

Was confronted recently. I said to someone that I have my pride. The usual casual statement. But was asked in return on why do I think so, and what's the reason behind my "supreme" high self esteem. Is it because I think i am attractive, or is it coz one guy in the world thinks that I am worth sleeping with, or do I have any other qualifying factor... considering I am overweight, not so young, and hence, maybe unattractive. So then, what basis do I have to demand certain behavior from people?

So that got me thinking. Never had been questioned like this before. People usually have said nice stuff to me, all through my life. And I took it all with a pinch of salt too.

Never thought I, or anyone, needs to "justify" the reasons behind having self respect. Thought it came with the territory of being a human. On my part, I have never tried to bruise anyone elses ego. Thanks to my very hindu babysitter, all this karma stuff is ingrained in me.

Why did I have a high image of myself? Why did I always expect a certain level of respect? Was it coz my parents instilled loads of it in me (still do)? Was it coz I was always praised?

What if I wasn't praised? Would I have no self respect? How would my life have shaped in that case?

More importantly, why am I now allowing myself to take a hit like this? I like to think everything through. Evaluate fairness in all statements. Do I need to do some retrospection regarding my expectations from people all my life? Outside of workplace, do I need to review what I deserve and what I don't, based on how I look? Do I need to hit the gym just so that I could rightfully command basic consideration and respect from people?

Well Natalia..

All I can say is you have the right to expect- respect..and if your parents raised you to expect that..good!

No matter what anyone says or how tough a person may be..everyone is affected by "validation" and "reinforcement" of what we already know about ourselves and it helps to boost our confidence. It's good to have at least one or two people who believe in us..we can call/talk to when we are feeling down and can encourage us with some soothing words. But,when there is NO such external validation..we have to "believe/trust in ourselves"..and people like me-pray for inner strength and that helps too!

All of us are surprised from time to time..by unkind and insensitive people and it does sting for a few mins..but then..we shrugg it off (like you used to-see I remember that!)..and not waste any more time it deserves- or let our confidence/high self-esteem be shaken by it!

by Maria S Tue Jul 31, 2012 4:59 pm

*Oh..I like the saying "never explain/justify anything you don't have to..your friends don't need it and your enemies won't believe you"..

by Guest Tue Jul 31, 2012 5:13 pm

luckily, the same day, i was talking to mom, who had no idea about my feelings of the day. Out of the blue, she said, 'u r my gem!'. Made me cry.

Lesson to me as a parent. Keep saying stuff like this every once in a while. You have no idea what your kid is going through. When in doubt, they can always think back what you had said to them, and hopefully, they won't need much of other external, possibly misleading validations.

by Maria S Tue Jul 31, 2012 5:48 pm

That's nice:)

It's good to see a mother's intuition- ESP..loving words spoken at the right moment, makes all the difference. One is blessed to have love and support of family- it's even better when it is unconditional.

by Hellsangel Tue Jul 31, 2012 5:49 pm

If you want to be loved, get a dog. If you want to love, get a cat.

by Guest Tue Jul 31, 2012 6:31 pm

Hellsangel wrote:If you want to be loved, get a dog. If you want to love, get a cat.

Guess I will get a dog and hope that atleast he doesn't get bored of seeing me everyday. If he does too then I guess... suicide is the only option!

by Propagandhi711 Tue Jul 31, 2012 6:45 pm

Natalia Romanova wrote:
Hellsangel wrote:If you want to be loved, get a dog. If you want to love, get a cat.

Guess I will get a dog and hope that atleast he doesn't get bored of seeing me everyday. If he does too then I guess... suicide is the only option!

if you get a dog, get loads of peanut butter. word to the wise *touches nose knowingly*

by Guest Tue Jul 31, 2012 6:59 pm

Propagandhi711 wrote:
Natalia Romanova wrote:
Hellsangel wrote:If you want to be loved, get a dog. If you want to love, get a cat.

Guess I will get a dog and hope that atleast he doesn't get bored of seeing me everyday. If he does too then I guess... suicide is the only option!

if you get a dog, get loads of peanut butter. word to the wise *touches nose knowingly*

K I wanna delete this thread now.

by Hellsangel Wed Aug 01, 2012 11:08 am

There you go:

http://www.cnn.com/2012/08/01/health/mental-health-service-dogs/index.html?hpt=hp_bn12

by Sponsored content

high self esteem

high self esteem

Re: high self esteem

Re: high self esteem

Re: high self esteem

Re: high self esteem

Re: high self esteem

Re: high self esteem

Re: high self esteem

Re: high self esteem

Re: high self esteem

Re: high self esteem

Re: high self esteem

Re: high self esteem