Do u worry about your Kids getting bullied?

I worry about it a lot, as it can leave profound emotional scars, scars
so deep that bullying in childhood can decide if your kid will grown up
to be a normal, happy and successful human being, or one suffering
from chronic incurable depression who struggles all his or her life to
gather even basic respect and fulfill basic monetary needs.

I
worry for my kids a lot and feel that bullying should be criminalized.
If this is the state of justice in countries like USA, what can be said
about raising kids in India? Scary.


Ignore the main news
about colman chadam, scroll down to the bottom of the page to see the
slides of bullying incidents in school. Note, that victims are ALL kinds
of children - not just boys, but girls as well. Not just autistic kids
or homosexual or "geeky" looking kids - but healthy, straight and
"goodlooking" kids as well. I always thought that mostly kids who are
overweight are picked on but here you will see some beautiful looking
girls being picked as well.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/08/colman-chadam-california-_n_2092816.html#slide=911032

and a video, god forbid

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/22/kaleb-kula-autistic-6th-g_n_1222068.html?ref=school-bullying


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/30/john-rosi-washington-midd_n_1841998.html?utm_hp_ref=school-bullying

little excessive - the part about incurable lifelong depression etc but yeah school bullying is one of the many things you worry abt as a parent. but be aware that it's the topic du jour for media so they'll vastly overstate things.

Media may try to overstate things for their own good, but that does not
take away the fact that it is real problem afflicting children all over
the world. Every parent should worry about this. Just because the
parents are strong and successful (and perhaps have themselves been
bullies in their childhood and youth, or even as adults) does not mean
that their children are safe. If you read the synopses (displayed to the
right of the slides) of their tales of these victims, you will realize
that many parents did not even know that their children are suffering.
The children did not even show any symptoms. They just found their child
hanging from the ceiling one day with a short suicide note.

No one has kids here or what??

was there a question in the original post?

Kids are not the only ones bullied. You can find White adults at work place who bully minorities.

I used to be a lunch time supervisor at my kids' elementary school. Here are my observations:

1. Kids who do not have friends are the ones who are usually picked on.

Until 2-3rd grade, kids don't care about race. They all play together. After that, they tend to notice the differences among themselves and they gravitate to form their own cliques with the ppl of their own race. You can see black kids, white kids, asians (both orientals and Indians together. both these get along pretty well), in different groups. So if one is a minority kid, the parents need to make sure that they put the kid in a pretty diverse school and make sure there are kids of the same race in their class. It's a nightmare for a minority kid, even totally american black kid, to be in a predominantly white majority school.

My kids' pediatrician's unsolicited advice: "The kids may mingle with everyone, but understand that their lifelong and best friends will always be Indian (read asian too). So make sure your kids mingle with Indian kids." I found it weird at the time, but she's right to a large extent.

2. Kids who try hard to be friends with someone who do not want them to be included in their group are picked on. Kids need to understand this and move to a different group who is willing to accept them. As a lunchtime supervisor, i used to have a few kids who used to constantly come to me with the complaint, 'they are not allowing me to play with them.' I would order the other kids to include the poor kid in their group. They would, for the day. But it's the same story the next day. No matter how hard the kid tries to fit into the group, the group eliminates them. This happens with the kids with low self-esteem, i guess.
Make sure your kids' self-esteem is high. They don't need to try hard, change themselves to please others in order to fit into their group. If that happens, they are with the wrong group of friends. They need to find the ones who they are comfortable with.

3.Bullying is worst in the middle school (preteen) yrs, i believe. I don't know. I never got to observe middle school children as i did with the elementary school kids. It all subsides by high school, i guess.

4. Make sure you live in a good, affluent and well educated neighborhood (even if it's apartments, live in an upscale apt complex). That makes a difference too. Kids from not so educated, low income and broken families tend to be bullies (or victims of bullies). Bullying in more in such neighborhoods.

5. whenever possible, try to find time to volunteer at your kids' classroom or school. That way, you keep an eye on what's going on.

Thankfully, both my boys turned out fine. No bullying issues for them.
Good luck to you!

Thank u Kinnera:)

You have mentioned very important points from a experienced parent..

Thanks again.

Yes i do worry about schooling and bullying but that's part of life...looking back i remember bullying many kids esp boys:evil: and few girls..oh lord pls forgive me i was ignorant then..

Rekz a bully? Hmmm

Rekz wrote:Thank u Kinnera:)

You have mentioned very important points from a experienced parent..

Thanks again.

Yes i do worry about schooling and bullying but that's part of life...looking back i remember bullying many kids esp boys:evil: and few girls..oh lord pls forgive me i was ignorant then..

Now i understand. Some habits die hard.... No wonder you like Bittu....

Kumarg wrote:I worry about it a lot, as it can leave profound emotional scars, scars
so deep that bullying in childhood can decide if your kid will grown up
to be a normal, happy and successful human being, or one suffering
from chronic incurable depression who struggles all his or her life to
gather even basic respect and fulfill basic monetary needs.

I
worry for my kids a lot and feel that bullying should be criminalized.
If this is the state of justice in countries like USA, what can be said
about raising kids in India? Scary.


...

>>>> I think worrying about long term depression may be overreaction, but it would be wise to keep communicating with your kids to keep an eye on what is happening in school. Also, be sure to encourage them to make friends. This builds up their confidence and sense of belonging and makes them less vulnerable to being bullied.