Mom and dad don't understand

by gone Sun Apr 21, 2013 12:28 pm

My mom and dad understand that I prefer urban areas to rural ones, but they don't understand why I need to end a marriage over that.

They've asked me if my husband has been abusive verbally, and I said no. If he was unfaithful to me, and I told them not that I know of. If he said I couldn't visit any city anytime I felt like it and I said he's actually encouraged me to take a break from this place for as long as I want. They know he doesn't smoke, drink much, or abuse any substances.

The only problem is he won't move from this place because this is where he has the most work, and I'm losing my sanity here. They said look on the bright side, at least you didn't marry a lazy man.

I said what about me! What about the fact that I need a career, that I need sidewalks, yoga studios, fresh juice bars, salad bars, diversity, culture, Starbucks, Whole Foods, city people around me...and they said I've already experienced plenty of that and I can always visit every few weeks.

Ugh! I'm literally losing my mind in this town, and I can't believe my parents don't understand :-(

by MaxEntropy_Man Sun Apr 21, 2013 12:31 pm

i think indian american kids who were born and raised here are far less independent than those of us who came here to study in our early twenties. we were sent away with all of $750 to make a life for ourselves and we pretty much found our own way. neither i nor my wife would ever dream of consulting our parents on decisions like this.

by gone Sun Apr 21, 2013 12:33 pm

I've already made my decision. My parents are trying to talk me out if it :-(

by Jeremiah Mburuburu Sun Apr 21, 2013 12:33 pm

mainstreet wrote:They said look on the bright side, at least you didn't marry a lazy man.
I said what about me:-(

you? you are a lazy woman.

by Guest Sun Apr 21, 2013 12:39 pm

MaxEntropy_Man wrote:i think indian american kids who were born and raised here are far less independent than those of us who came here to study in our early twenties. we were sent away with all of $750 to make a life for ourselves and we pretty much found our own way. neither i nor my wife would ever dream of consulting our parents on decisions like this.

I was sent with $10000, but that's coz the uni. demanded minimum of that amount. I used it for all things other than college, apartment, car, plane tickets, and K's tuition. Found TA here soon after, so most of my expenses were taken care of.

They still send me money whenever they can, with the pretext of, 'This is ur share out of this revenue or that sale', but I think dad sends it just in case I am strapped for money.

I feel ashamed in taking money. Coz we came to this country to 'progress'. What's the point of being here if the money of India is still supporting us. Should have been the other way round.

by gone Sun Apr 21, 2013 12:41 pm

On the contrary, managing a 5,000 sq ft house is a lot of work. Something is always breaking down and needs to be fixed. Cleaning is a huge project and I have no help for that. Feeding two dogs is work. So is yard work. Not to mention cooking, cleaning, and laundry without any help. Grocery shopping means a four-hour round trip once or twice a week because nothing would make me shop at the local Piggly Wiggly. Servicing two cars entails a four hour round trip.

When I had a career, small house, and a car I didnt drive much, everything was easier.

by gone Sun Apr 21, 2013 12:45 pm

I wouldn't be taking any money from mom and dad. I have my own saved up. I may move in with them while I'm interviewing and in this economy, it may be a few months before I find something. In any case, my parents are Indian. They don't get upset if the kids move in with them for a few months.

by Rishi Sun Apr 21, 2013 12:50 pm

MaxEntropy_Man wrote:i think indian american kids who were born and raised here are far less independent than those of us who came here to study in our early twenties. we were sent away with all of $750 to make a life for ourselves and we pretty much found our own way. neither i nor my wife would ever dream of consulting our parents on decisions like this.

Come on!

You had already the guarantee of tution waiver and a teaching assistantship which paid a monthly stipend which was good enough to pay your rent plus other living expenses.

What you say is similar to what Dharun Ravis's mom said to the judge. "We came to America with just two suit cases." The truth of the matter is her husband was sent here by a body shop like Infosys on a h-1b visa. They paid him and his family full airfare, gave him $2500 for starting expenses and there was the contract with the American client which his body shop had already setup. i.e The guy had the job waiting for him

There are a lot of desis who go around claiming that they simply landed in America with only $4 in their pockets and nothing in store, never depended on anyone and are totally self made. They conveniently hide other details.

Can you imagine how difficult it would be to "finding your own way" in those days if you already had not lined up things before you landed in America?

by MaxEntropy_Man Sun Apr 21, 2013 12:54 pm

Rishi wrote:
There are a lot of desis who go around claiming that they simply landed in America with only $4 in their pockets and nothing in store, never depended on anyone and are totally self made. They conveniently hide other details.

i have not been financially dependent on my parents since the age of twenty-one. i have not taken one penny from them since that age. of course my earlier education paved the way for my independence. why is that not considered making it on my own in the US? there is some romance associated with making it by starting with a blue collar background perhaps, but that doesn't make other routes to independence any less valid.

by MaxEntropy_Man Sun Apr 21, 2013 12:57 pm

equally importantly i have never consulted them on career choices, job changes, home buying etc.

by Guest Sun Apr 21, 2013 12:59 pm

MaxEntropy_Man wrote:equally importantly i have never consulted them on career choices, job changes, home buying etc.

Never the less your father influenced you with respect to the courses you took as you earlier explained.

by MaxEntropy_Man Sun Apr 21, 2013 1:01 pm

Rashmun wrote:
MaxEntropy_Man wrote:equally importantly i have never consulted them on career choices, job changes, home buying etc.

Never the less your father influenced you with respect to the courses you took as you earlier explained.

yes right out of high school but not after that. i don't think he was informed enough (in my area of work) to offer any meaningful advice beyond that point.

by Guest Sun Apr 21, 2013 1:03 pm

MaxEntropy_Man wrote:
Rashmun wrote:
MaxEntropy_Man wrote:equally importantly i have never consulted them on career choices, job changes, home buying etc.

Never the less your father influenced you with respect to the courses you took as you earlier explained.

yes right out of high school but not after that. i don't think he was not informed enough to offer any advice beyond that point.

I was referring to your father's insistence that you study tamil right upto class 12. It may have been better to study sanskrit instead.

by gone Sun Apr 21, 2013 1:04 pm

I don't think there's any shame in using mom and dad as a sounding board and listening to what they have to say. They ARE older and wiser. However, sometimes, I'll listen to them but still end up doing what I want. They come from a different generation where my mom would have followed my dad to hell for his career. I refuse to live in hell any longer.

by MaxEntropy_Man Sun Apr 21, 2013 1:05 pm

Rashmun wrote:
I was referring to your father's insistence that you study tamil right upto class 12. It may have been better to study sanskrit instead.

of that i have no regrets.

by Guest Sun Apr 21, 2013 1:26 pm

Rishi wrote:
MaxEntropy_Man wrote:i think indian american kids who were born and raised here are far less independent than those of us who came here to study in our early twenties. we were sent away with all of $750 to make a life for ourselves and we pretty much found our own way. neither i nor my wife would ever dream of consulting our parents on decisions like this.

Come on!

You had already the guarantee of tution waiver and a teaching assistantship which paid a monthly stipend which was good enough to pay your rent plus other living expenses.

What you say is similar to what Dharun Ravis's mom said to the judge. "We came to America with just two suit cases." The truth of the matter is her husband was sent here by a body shop like Infosys on a h-1b visa. They paid him and his family full airfare, gave him $2500 for starting expenses and there was the contract with the American client which his body shop had already setup. i.e The guy had the job waiting for him

There are a lot of desis who go around claiming that they simply landed in America with only $4 in their pockets and nothing in store, never depended on anyone and are totally self made. They conveniently hide other details.

Can you imagine how difficult it would be to "finding your own way" in those days if you already had not lined up things before you landed in America?

My husband tells the same story to my kids while they listen to him awestruck: "I came to this country with just $200 in my pocket and two suitcases." What he doesn't tell them is that he had a nice job lined up for him, that a few thousand dollars were given to him soon upon his arrival to establish himself, that he was put in a nice hotel until he found an apartment, he had strong support from his colleagues and all. He doesn't tell them that he was confident of his job situation to buy a new toyota camry within a month of his arrival for $22 k (which he paid off in a year and half). All he boasts about is how he established himself in this country with just $200 and two suitcases, giving the impression that he struggled his way up the hard way. BS!

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Sun Apr 21, 2013 1:33 pm

nenu wrote:
My husband tells the same story to my kids while they listen to him awestruck: "I came to this country with just $200 in my pocket and two suitcases." What he doesn't tell them is that he had a nice job lined up for him, that a few thousand dollars were given to him soon upon his arrival to establish himself, that he was put in a nice hotel until he found an apartment, he had strong support from his colleagues and all. He doesn't tell them that he was confident of his job situation to buy a new toyota camry within a month of his arrival for $22 k (which he paid off in a year and half). All he boasts about is how he established himself in this country with just $200 and two suitcases, giving the impression that he struggled his way up the hard way. BS!

The real reason behind this 2-suitcase boastful stmt is the Airlines allowed only 2 checked baggages. Most H1Bs-GCs BS everything starting with their resume.

by confuzzled dude Sun Apr 21, 2013 1:37 pm

MaxEntropy_Man wrote:i think indian american kids who were born and raised here are far less independent than those of us who came here to study in our early twenties. we were sent away with all of $750 to make a life for ourselves and we pretty much found our own way. neither i nor my wife would ever dream of consulting our parents on decisions like this.

You cant use one sample to judge all. I think kids raised here develop independent thinking far earlier than we did as you may have noticed with your kids.

by confuzzled dude Sun Apr 21, 2013 1:39 pm

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
The real reason behind this 2-suitcase boastful stmt is the Airlines allowed only 2 checked baggages. Most H1Bs-GCs BS everything starting with their resume.

This generation FOBs (F-1 specifically ) can boast to their kids that they arrived with just 1 suitcase.

by seven Sun Apr 21, 2013 1:43 pm

MS here is losing her mind.
her life is passing her by in the small town
her parents don't understand her
her husband's job and career are more imp to him than she is

and you guys! shame on you all!!
is this the time to talk about your success stories?
and hijack her thread ?

Mainstreet,

my parents dont understand me smtimes. ugh X10
you're not alone.

by Guest Sun Apr 21, 2013 1:45 pm

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
nenu wrote:
My husband tells the same story to my kids while they listen to him awestruck: "I came to this country with just $200 in my pocket and two suitcases." What he doesn't tell them is that he had a nice job lined up for him, that a few thousand dollars were given to him soon upon his arrival to establish himself, that he was put in a nice hotel until he found an apartment, he had strong support from his colleagues and all. He doesn't tell them that he was confident of his job situation to buy a new toyota camry within a month of his arrival for $22 k (which he paid off in a year and half). All he boasts about is how he established himself in this country with just $200 and two suitcases, giving the impression that he struggled his way up the hard way. BS!

The real reason behind this 2-suitcase boastful stmt is the Airlines allowed only 2 checked baggages. Most H1Bs-GCs BS everything starting with their resume.

Back in 1995, ppl didn't boast/fake their resumes. They were genuinely well qualified. All the frauds started happening later, i guess.

Anyway, kiddo wrote the same in his college essay, "My dad came to this country with just $200 in his pocket and two suitcases. He established himself well in this country because of his high education, hard work, yada yada and I understand the importance of good education, yada yada yada..."

by Guest Sun Apr 21, 2013 1:56 pm

Dad travelled with me, so one of his allowed baggages contained my stuff. More fob stuff is one of my suitcases contained a pressure cooker, a couple of cooking pots and pans, two cups that seem so small compared to the cups here, two plates, two sets of steel spoons, fork, glass, etc, couple of cutting knives. Daal, rice, atta, all possible spices, tea, sugar, salt. What else, oh also a needle thread kit with scissors. I think even oil. My Bhabhi packed all this. She didn't want me to be dependent on anyone for anything from day one as much as I could help it. She wanted to pack bed sheets and pillow cases too, but was convinced they won't work here.

I still have one of the two small cups. K would sometimes get nostalgic whenever we did use those.

by confuzzled dude Sun Apr 21, 2013 1:57 pm

nenu wrote:
Back in 1995, ppl didn't boast/fake their resumes. They were genuinely well qualified. All the frauds started happening later, i guess.

Anyway, kiddo wrote the same in his college essay, "My dad came to this country with just $200 in his pocket and two suitcases. He established himself well in this country because of his high education, hard work, yada yada and I understand the importance of good education, yada yada yada..."

Well, most of us arrived here rich i.e. with a degree minus 200k debt. Yes, we did wait, bus tables and did other odd jobs to support ourselves initially but won't really fit started from the scratch bill.

by truthbetold Sun Apr 21, 2013 2:09 pm

all Indians who came to usa for highereducation have to thank that old chacha. nehru including that ingrate. jm. nehru created the education system that is friend allowed us to go wherever.

ms,
you are right about consulting parents. consult but follow your own decision making.

some of us have houses for a while and have been managing them by ourselves. what is it in your exactly 5000 sq ft. house that is different that you and your husband cannot manage?

by Guest Sun Apr 21, 2013 2:50 pm

Vidya Bagchi wrote:Dad travelled with me, so one of his allowed baggages contained my stuff. More fob stuff is one of my suitcases contained a pressure cooker, a couple of cooking pots and pans, two cups that seem so small compared to the cups here, two plates, two sets of steel spoons, fork, glass, etc, couple of cutting knives. Daal, rice, atta, all possible spices, tea, sugar, salt. What else, oh also a needle thread kit with scissors. I think even oil. My Bhabhi packed all this. She didn't want me to be dependent on anyone for anything from day one as much as I could help it. She wanted to pack bed sheets and pillow cases too, but was convinced they won't work here.

I still have one of the two small cups. K would sometimes get nostalgic whenever we did use those.

The reason we traveled with only two suitcases was because we were traveling with an infant and a pre-schooler. We wanted to travel light. We already lived in this country and another european country prior to moving here permanently. So we know how it'd be here and hence didn't carry all the FOB stuff (we did, when we came here the first time).
Anyway, the 'just a $200 in the pocket' isn't totally correct either. That was the travel and transit allowance that the company paid us. I remember it as $500, but hubby insists that it's only $200. Anyway, apart from that, i had a few hundred dollars too in my vanity bag. Hubby doesn't want to consider that either. The fewer the dollars, the more glamorous the immigrant story is, maybe.

Confezzled dude is right. We were more richer then than we are now because we didn't have any of the thousands of dollars of debt then.

by Jeremiah Mburuburu Sun Apr 21, 2013 3:17 pm

Vidya Bagchi wrote:Dad travelled with me,...

are you a northindian female?

Vidya Bagchi wrote:Daal,...

are you a northindian female?

Vidya Bagchi wrote:My Bhabhi packed all this.

are you a northindian female?

by Guest Sun Apr 21, 2013 3:28 pm

nenu wrote:
Vidya Bagchi wrote:Dad travelled with me, so one of his allowed baggages contained my stuff. More fob stuff is one of my suitcases contained a pressure cooker, a couple of cooking pots and pans, two cups that seem so small compared to the cups here, two plates, two sets of steel spoons, fork, glass, etc, couple of cutting knives. Daal, rice, atta, all possible spices, tea, sugar, salt. What else, oh also a needle thread kit with scissors. I think even oil. My Bhabhi packed all this. She didn't want me to be dependent on anyone for anything from day one as much as I could help it. She wanted to pack bed sheets and pillow cases too, but was convinced they won't work here.

I still have one of the two small cups. K would sometimes get nostalgic whenever we did use those.

The reason we traveled with only two suitcases was because we were traveling with an infant and a pre-schooler. We wanted to travel light. We already lived in this country and another european country prior to moving here permanently. So we know how it'd be here and hence didn't carry all the FOB stuff (we did, when we came here the first time).
Anyway, the 'just a $200 in the pocket' isn't totally correct either. That was the travel and transit allowance that the company paid us. I remember it as $500, but hubby insists that it's only $200. Anyway, apart from that, i had a few hundred dollars too in my vanity bag. Hubby doesn't want to consider that either. The fewer the dollars, the more glamorous the immigrant story is, maybe.

Confezzled dude is right. We were more richer then than we are now because we didn't have any of the thousands of dollars of debt then.

Mom came ahead of us. Sis had been here for 2 years, and had been calling them. Then dad and I came. Toured the usual haunts. NYC, Chicago and around, Niagara, FL. Then they left after I began school. We had her to guide what all to bring. And K was here too, so he asked other friends what all to bring. He was gonna live with his uncle, so he had not packed all that. Bhabhi went a step ahead with all this when packing, which I think was cute. It did help me a lot. Pretty much every batchmate of mine had come similarly prepared.

I just checked, I don't have the remaining cup anymore. Not sure when it broke. Sad

by Guest Sun Apr 21, 2013 3:38 pm

Vidya Bagchi wrote:
Mom came ahead of us. Sis had been here for 2 years, and had been calling them. Then dad and I came. Toured the usual haunts. NYC, Chicago and around, Niagara, FL. Then they left after I began school. We had her to guide what all to bring. And K was here too, so he asked other friends what all to bring. He was gonna live with his uncle, so he had not packed all that. Bhabhi went a step ahead with all this when packing, which I think was cute. It did help me a lot. Pretty much every batchmate of mine had come similarly prepared.

I just checked, I don't have the remaining cup anymore. Not sure when it broke.

Your bhabhi is as sweet as mine Smile

. Ayyo @ losing the last remaining cup!

by b_A Sun Apr 21, 2013 8:31 pm

mainstreet wrote:My mom and dad understand that I prefer urban areas to rural ones, but they don't understand why I need to end a marriage over that.

They've asked me if my husband has been abusive verbally, and I said no. If he was unfaithful to me, and I told them not that I know of. If he said I couldn't visit any city anytime I felt like it and I said he's actually encouraged me to take a break from this place for as long as I want. They know he doesn't smoke, drink much, or abuse any substances.

The only problem is he won't move from this place because this is where he has the most work, and I'm losing my sanity here. They said look on the bright side, at least you didn't marry a lazy man.

I said what about me! What about the fact that I need a career, that I need sidewalks, yoga studios, fresh juice bars, salad bars, diversity, culture, Starbucks, Whole Foods, city people around me...and they said I've already experienced plenty of that and I can always visit every few weeks.

Ugh! I'm literally losing my mind in this town, and I can't believe my parents don't understand :-(

And I don't understand this obsession with the sidewalks. scratch

by Sandee2020 Sun Apr 21, 2013 8:41 pm

Mom and Dad don't understand???? Why did you opt to marry a man where you did not want to live? You should have stayed single in the city and danced away till the cows came home. What a cry baby, you need to grow up.

by gone Sun Apr 21, 2013 9:54 pm

We didn't live out here when we got married.

by Merlot Daruwala Mon Apr 22, 2013 12:50 am

nenu wrote:... the last remaining cup!

Nice title for Ms Bagchi's next story.

by Sandee2020 Mon Apr 22, 2013 8:21 am

A little sacrifice from both sides will not hurt your life style. Do tell your hubby that living with an unhappy wife can be detrimental to his health, so he will look for a job where his wife desires. COMPROMISE!

by southindian Mon Apr 22, 2013 11:33 am

mainstreet wrote:My mom and dad understand that I prefer urban areas to rural ones, but they don't understand why I need to end a marriage over that.

They've asked me if my husband has been abusive verbally, and I said no. If he was unfaithful to me, and I told them not that I know of. If he said I couldn't visit any city anytime I felt like it and I said he's actually encouraged me to take a break from this place for as long as I want. They know he doesn't smoke, drink much, or abuse any substances.

The only problem is he won't move from this place because this is where he has the most work, and I'm losing my sanity here. They said look on the bright side, at least you didn't marry a lazy man.

I said what about me! What about the fact that I need a career, that I need sidewalks, yoga studios, fresh juice bars, salad bars, diversity, culture, Starbucks, Whole Foods, city people around me...and they said I've already experienced plenty of that and I can always visit every few weeks.

Ugh! I'm literally losing my mind in this town, and I can't believe my parents don't understand :-(

You know you are doing a nice job giving Bagchi ideas for her upcoming stories.

Keep them coming...

PS: Can you find another urban husband while maintaining a rural one you already have? This will give options to visit and stay in the city or small town when you want.

by Idéfix Mon Apr 22, 2013 11:45 am

mainstreet wrote:On the contrary, managing a 5,000 sq ft house is a lot of work. Something is always breaking down and needs to be fixed. Cleaning is a huge project and I have no help for that. Feeding two dogs is work. So is yard work. Not to mention cooking, cleaning, and laundry without any help. Grocery shopping means a four-hour round trip once or twice a week because nothing would make me shop at the local Piggly Wiggly. Servicing two cars entails a four hour round trip.

When I had a career, small house, and a car I didnt drive much, everything was easier.

Before you make big changes, you should first try getting domestic help. Get a cleaning lady -- if your husband makes all that money you speak of, you can afford it. And get your husband to help with the cooking, etc. Once you don't have to spend all your time on domestic chores, you can use that time on other pursuits.

by gone Mon Apr 22, 2013 3:25 pm

We had a black cleaning lady who came once a month. She did a lousy job. As soon as she left, I would clean everything again. Now, we have a Hispanic cleaning lady who's doing a much better job (and shows up when she says she's going to), however this house is just too big. We really need a cleaning lady to come every weekend.

Even though we're leasing this house, it has horrible insulation and our heat/air bills are half the rent payment. Also, something is always breaking down and I can't go anywhere on a day when the workers are sent to fix stuff. It's a huge loss of freedom and privacy.

Also, I'm just plain bored of this place. No like-minded friends. Rampant welfare fraud, food stamp fraud, EBT cash assistance fraud. There are illegal desi convenience store owners here who make millions of dollars every year because they are a part of this food stamp, cash assistance, and baby formula voucher fraud. Even illegal Hispanics get infant formula vouchers that they sell for five dollars per voucher to desi convenience store owners. These desis duplicate the vouchers and claim almost a hundred dollars per voucher from the federal government. No one in the government is keeping track of the fact that they're paying multiple times on duplicate vouchers. I wouldn't believe any of this, but the local cop tells me these things are happening. Go figure!

by gone Mon Apr 22, 2013 3:31 pm

Again, I'm not saying there's billions of dollars of fraud just in this small town. When I lived in NYC, Some asset fund was bailed out by Uncle Sam. When I lived in DC, I knew government workers making six figures who went to work and played Solitaire all day and were shutting their computers down 15 minutes before 5 p.m. I just find this place boring.

by gone Mon Apr 22, 2013 3:39 pm

Sorry for boring everyone with details about how much I despise this place and how most of this town is full of welfare recipients and illegal desis and Hispanics profiting off the federal programs for these welfare recipients. I apologize for all the negativity. I'm going to stop logging in and boring people with details about this place.

by Guest Mon Apr 22, 2013 3:56 pm

Did u began packing/shipping the boxes yet? Hope the ups guy who comes to pick it up is not his patient.

by gone Mon Apr 22, 2013 3:57 pm

Oh and if you want to know more, you can go to YouTube and search for 1. Angela Adams and 2. Food Stamp Fraud. The first video you see under each of these searches is an accurate representation of what this town is like. Therefore, can't relate to the people who live here :-(

by gone Mon Apr 22, 2013 4:00 pm

I packed four boxes. Eight more to go although I may not need all eight. Actually planning on driving two hours away to ship everything. We have a large SUV that I could fit half the boxes in. So, I'll make two trips.

by Sandee2020 Mon Apr 22, 2013 6:15 pm

Mainstreet, your place sounds like Bobby Jindal's state. If this is correct, you have my empathy. Get out and get a job and visit your spouse one a week. I believe this is becoming more and more common among Indians.
How/why the heck did he find a job in a Godforsaken place?

by gone Mon Apr 22, 2013 6:19 pm

Don't ask! This was my parents' idea. They know some people from around here who have complained about how far they've had to drive to see a specialist, and my parents thought this was a golden opportunity for DH to take advantage of ASAP.

by Sandee2020 Mon Apr 22, 2013 6:22 pm

Never mind your parents, you go ahead and make drastic changes to your life style. Then HD will follow you like a lamb.

by gone Mon Apr 22, 2013 6:28 pm

I definitely agree that I need to get out of here. I feel like I'm in a Third World country. I can't believe I've paid taxes for all these years that have been used to pay for all these federal entitlement programs that I absolutely do not support, especially considering that the vast majority of the population here is swindling the government by having an insane number of babies to keep their cash flow up, faking a disability, illegal Hispanics getting benefits and cashing them to make money, Indian and Pakistani store owners who are here illegally swindling the federal government of millions of dollars. The entire rural South is vast majority rampant-breeding moochers and criminals.

by Nila Mon Apr 22, 2013 6:36 pm

mainstreet wrote:I definitely agree that I need to get out of here. I feel like I'm in a Third World country. I can't believe I've paid taxes for all these years that have been used to pay for all these federal entitlement programs that I absolutely do not support, especially considering that the vast majority of the population here is swindling the government by having an insane number of babies to keep their cash flow up, faking a disability, illegal Hispanics getting benefits and cashing them to make money, Indian and Pakistani store owners who are here illegally swindling the federal government of millions of dollars. The entire rural South is vast majority rampant-breeding moochers and criminals.

If vast majority of people are living by swindling the government how is that your H gets paid considering that many don't have health insurances?

by Guest Mon Apr 22, 2013 6:39 pm

mainstreet wrote:Don't ask! This was my parents' idea. They know some people from around here who have complained about how far they've had to drive to see a specialist, and my parents thought this was a golden opportunity for DH to take advantage of ASAP.

There's a reason why a majority of doctors don't want to go to such places in spite of the money they can earn. They are not fun/good places to live and raise a family. Everyone wants to live in/near cities.
I heard that docs educated in foreign countries are the ones sent to such godforsaken remote places for their residencies and such and they do so because they have no other choice.

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Mon Apr 22, 2013 6:47 pm

mainstreet wrote:Again, I'm not saying there's billions of dollars of fraud just in this small town. When I lived in NYC, Some asset fund was bailed out by Uncle Sam. When I lived in DC, I knew government workers making six figures who went to work and played Solitaire all day and were shutting their computers down 15 minutes before 5 p.m. I just find this place boring.

You have a great opportunity there.

Start a Tea Party Chapter, write to Sarah Palin and the Krotch Brothers for start up funds.

You will be busy in no time and the prime attraction in that area - what with a beautiful figure, brain, education, Desi-status all rolled in one woman.

by Nila Mon Apr 22, 2013 6:50 pm

mainstreet wrote:My mom and dad understand that I prefer urban areas to rural ones, but they don't understand why I need to end a marriage over that.

They've asked me if my husband has been abusive verbally, and I said no. If he was unfaithful to me, and I told them not that I know of. If he said I couldn't visit any city anytime I felt like it and I said he's actually encouraged me to take a break from this place for as long as I want. They know he doesn't smoke, drink much, or abuse any substances.

The only problem is he won't move from this place because this is where he has the most work, and I'm losing my sanity here. They said look on the bright side, at least you didn't marry a lazy man.

I said what about me! What about the fact that I need a career, that I need sidewalks, yoga studios, fresh juice bars, salad bars, diversity, culture, Starbucks, Whole Foods, city people around me...and they said I've already experienced plenty of that and I can always visit every few weeks.

Ugh! I'm literally losing my mind in this town, and I can't believe my parents don't understand :-(

Awww you are such a sweet dd. You just inform them and validate their responses and that's that.

by gone Mon Apr 22, 2013 7:04 pm

If you're a pregnant welfare queen, you get free healthcare (and free housing and food stamps and cash assistance) until that kid is old enough for first grade...and then you are supposed to get a job because the kid is now in school all day (Clinton made welfare temporary), but why even bother to look for a job when you can become pregnant again and sit around and watch TV all day for the next six years. So, just go find any horny unemployed guy and become his baby momma. So, rinse and repeat from age thirteen to age 48. You can always sell any extra food stamps and infant formula vouchers to get the money to get your hair or nails done, go shop at the mall, take a trip to Vegas and become a millionaire, buy lottery tickets, cigarettes, alcohol, etc. EBT cash assistance is also welcome for these things, especially to make monthly payments on that used Lexus!

Now, each of these four to twenty kids born to the welfare queen gets free healthcare until he or she becomes 18. However, with a horrible role model mom and no dad at home to be a positive male role model, they do exactly the same thing! Hyper sexual girls getting pregnant as young as 10 years old sometimes. Hyper sexual boys with four baby mommas before they're 18.

The men faking a disability get free healthcare for life (they are perfectly healthy and able to flip burgers, join the army, whatever).

Of course, the most interesting case: boys who start selling drugs, stealing cars, shooting people to brag (killing at least one innocent human being is a rite of passage...essential for bragging rights as a gang member), and other crimes. If they don't get shot and killed by a cop or a rival gang protecting his drug turf, then it's prison time! Guess what!! Taxpayer money paying for free healthcare of prisoners again :-)

Other people getting free healthcare for life: enrolled military and returning veterans with injuries and PTSD, but they earned it.

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