age and all

by Guest Thu Jul 17, 2014 4:31 pm

Starting around age of 17 and up, friends in the batch began getting engaged/married. Most were done by 24-25, after that one got busy and lost interest anyway. Used to be simply a measure of keeping a statistics of -

- who are they getting married to,
- where is he from,
- what school/college did he study in (and what does he do now),
- how old is he,
- how does he look,
- how did they meet, what did they talk in first meeting,
- how long was the courtship,
- and in some cases, but quite important for the terrified virgins and newly nonvirgins, how did the first night and honeymoon go.

So anyway, I am talking about the age here. in some cases, the girl would be 20-22ish and the boy would be in the 28-31 range. After a collective gasp from all, the girl would explain how she had hesitations about it, but how she is happy. And we all rejoiced with ya the dude looks fine and has a mature air about him.

Cut 20 years, those dudes are 50+ now. Some managed to keep the dudeness, but others omg. Fully unclified, and baldness is not even an issue here. When they put on a hugging pic, have to take a second closer look to make sure it's the hubbs and not the dad, specially if the 'girl' is still well maintained for 40ish. And you would be like - wth happened. But then you would calculate the age in your head and go - ya makes sense.

Anyway, sharing just another observation of being in the 40s.

by seven Thu Jul 17, 2014 7:31 pm

You n your xh are both 40. You both look dude n babe type or look uncle aunty type?
Any of your friends divorced?
Also, how many close friends did you have or discussing first night with by-the-friends was the norm in your village?
And lol Tracy you kept track of the listed things after you had lost interest in keeping track I mean seriously lolololl you are something. In a good, interesting way of course.

by Guest Thu Jul 17, 2014 7:58 pm

Ya well. losing interest doesn't mean losing memory. Besides by late 20s thru early 30s, the interest began shifting to who has been having how many babies, their age and gender, are they naughty/quiet/smart/cute/etc. Now it's more like ssc scores and merit lists for some.

This is my high school group, not village. (Village is a different ball game altogether with haiya faiya scandals, lets not even go there). We were all mostly together from nursery through high school and, with many reshuffling of classes, had many common friends. Too much history there. I was not in the core group of my batch (deemed too geeky and independent and having a publicly-secret boyfriend), but had enough common friends to be in many social gatherings together. Close enough to be updated on a regular basis. First night, hmm, discussed maybe with 4 or 5, but heard stories of not-first-night, but general talks before or after wedding, intimate in nature but not too open. Saw honeymoon pics (you know one album for family and one album for friends), and so on.

Divorce hmm. I know only of 3 other classmates. Not all of them know of mine, or maybe they are confused, as I still post XH's pics on my album. He vacations with us, can't prevent it really. (Or maybe they don't know how to talk about it with me as I have a history of keeping a secret always). Out of the divorcee friends, one was a good friend in high school, but left the city so lost touch. Other two, not close, but when you have spent so many years seeing each other every day, that's some kinda bond in itself.

by seven Thu Jul 17, 2014 8:05 pm

Beatrix Kiddo wrote:Ya well. losing interest doesn't mean losing memory. Besides by late 20s thru early 30s, the interest began shifting to who has been having how many babies, their age and gender, are they naughty/quiet/smart/cute/etc. Now it's more like ssc scores and merit lists for some.

This is my high school group, not village. (Village is a different ball game altogether with haiya faiya scandals, lets not even go there). We were all mostly together from nursery through high school and, with many reshuffling of classes, had many common friends. Too much history there. I was not in the core group of my batch (deemed too geeky and independent and having a publicly-secret boyfriend), but had enough common friends to be in many social gatherings together. Close enough to be updated on a regular basis. First night, hmm, discussed maybe with 4 or 5, but heard stories of not-first-night, but general talks before or after wedding, intimate in nature but not too open. Saw honeymoon pics (you know one album for family and one album for friends), and so on.

Divorce hmm. I know only of 3 other classmates. Not all of them know of mine, or maybe they are confused (or maybe they don't know how to talk about it with me as I have a history of keeping a secret always), as I still post XH's pics on my album. He vacations with us, can't prevent it really. One was a good friend in high school, but left the city so lost touch. Other two, not close, but when you have spent so many years seeing each other every day, that's some kinda bond in itself.

Okay. Cool.

by MaxEntropy_Man Thu Jul 17, 2014 8:12 pm

this thread just hardens my resolve to never get into social media, facebook et al. too tiring and pointless to keep up with people and go through the ups and downs of jealousy and schadenfreude. it is incompatible with developing any deep interests or pursuits. so glad i don't have to worry about all that.

by Guest Thu Jul 17, 2014 8:25 pm

MaxEntropy_Man wrote:this thread just hardens my resolve to never get into social media, facebook et al. too tiring and pointless to keep up with people and go through the ups and downs of jealousy and schadenfreude. it is incompatible with developing any deep interests or pursuits. so glad i don't have to worry about all that.

lol...This thread was not about social media but aging and watching friends age. I would have come across most of this anyway.

Anyway, SMN not as dramatic as it sounds. It's practically not possible to keep interest in so many people. You really connect with just a few on a regular basis. I usually unfollow people who post their status too much - like 8-10 a day.

Jealousy and schadenfreude (Had to look that up)? Very few post their misfortunes on FB Razz

thought it's infamous for posting fake fortunes. Some posters rant, but who cares about that hehe.

I don't know. I get jealous *sometimes* when a couple of people keep strutting their wardrobe and style every 3rd day. But then, I also appreciate the quality of some pics and beauty. No fixed rule here.

Overall, I like seeing pics on my newsfeed. Just keeps me aware that in life you got to have some fun too. Other than that, like to see other links and stories different people post. It's all about how you want to use some interface. I don't have a crazy # of friends. And I hide most of my stuff from most of the groups of contacts.

Other than that. Won't defend SMN, won't condemn it either. Everything has its extremes.

by Guest Thu Jul 17, 2014 8:32 pm

MaxEntropy_Man wrote:this thread just hardens my resolve to never get into social media, facebook et al. too tiring and pointless to keep up with people and go through the ups and downs of jealousy and schadenfreude. it is incompatible with developing any deep interests or pursuits. so glad i don't have to worry about all that.

Whatever your interests or pursuits are, chances are, you'll have those pages on FB. It depends on you on how you choose to use FB. For ex: https://www.facebook.com/sanjaysubmusic

by MaxEntropy_Man Thu Jul 17, 2014 8:33 pm

Beatrix Kiddo wrote:
MaxEntropy_Man wrote:this thread just hardens my resolve to never get into social media, facebook et al. too tiring and pointless to keep up with people and go through the ups and downs of jealousy and schadenfreude. it is incompatible with developing any deep interests or pursuits. so glad i don't have to worry about all that.

lol...This thread was not about social media but aging and watching friends age. I would have come across most of this anyway.

Anyway, SMN not as dramatic as it sounds. It's practically not possible to keep interest in so many people. You really connect with just a few on a regular basis. I usually unfollow people who post their status too much - like 8-10 a day.

Jealousy and schadenfreude (Had to look that up)? Very few post their misfortunes on FB thought it's infamous for posting fake fortunes. Some posters rant, but who cares about that hehe.

I don't know. I get jealous *sometimes* when a couple of people keep strutting their wardrobe and style every 3rd day. But then, I also appreciate the quality of some pics and beauty. No fixed rule here.

Overall, I like seeing pics on my newsfeed. Just keeps me aware that in life you got to have some fun too. Other than that, like to see other links and stories different people post. It's all about how you want to use some interface. I don't have a crazy # of friends. And I hide most of my stuff from most of the groups of contacts.

Other than that. Won't defend SMN, won't condemn it either. Everything has its extremes.

if you don't say in touch on a daily, monthly or yearly basis with old friends you don't have to watch them reproduce or grow old. i prefer it that way. i am happy once every five years or so finding out that they are alive and letting them know i am too. good enough for me. in any case most of us are odd ducks. so it works well.

by MaxEntropy_Man Thu Jul 17, 2014 8:33 pm

Kinnera wrote:
MaxEntropy_Man wrote:this thread just hardens my resolve to never get into social media, facebook et al. too tiring and pointless to keep up with people and go through the ups and downs of jealousy and schadenfreude. it is incompatible with developing any deep interests or pursuits. so glad i don't have to worry about all that.
Whatever your interests or pursuits are, chances are, you'll have those pages on FB. It depends on you on how you choose to use FB. For ex: https://www.facebook.com/sanjaysubmusic

too steep a price for not enough rewards. not for me.

by Guest Thu Jul 17, 2014 8:36 pm

MaxEntropy_Man wrote:
Kinnera wrote:
MaxEntropy_Man wrote:this thread just hardens my resolve to never get into social media, facebook et al. too tiring and pointless to keep up with people and go through the ups and downs of jealousy and schadenfreude. it is incompatible with developing any deep interests or pursuits. so glad i don't have to worry about all that.
Whatever your interests or pursuits are, chances are, you'll have those pages on FB. It depends on you on how you choose to use FB. For ex: https://www.facebook.com/sanjaysubmusic

too steep a price for not enough rewards. not for me.

steep a price?

by swapna Thu Jul 17, 2014 8:40 pm

Anyway, sharing just another observation of being in the 40s." -- beatrix behenjee.

Don't trouble yourself.

by seven Thu Jul 17, 2014 8:45 pm

I'm so bored of FB now.

by Guest Thu Jul 17, 2014 8:45 pm

MaxEntropy_Man wrote:if you don't say in touch on a daily, monthly or yearly basis with old friends you don't have to watch them reproduce or grow old. i prefer it that way. i am happy once every five years or so finding out that they are alive and letting them know i am too. good enough for me. in any case most of us are odd ducks. so it works well.

hmm. guess we are different. I like this format. The only pitfall is, some friends used to be much closer earlier. Now I see them online and *think* that I know what's going on. But then when I meet them, I find out I had missed so many things for which I should have been around as a friend. Not sure how to get out of this, the way my life is going currently. *shrug*

by Guest Thu Jul 17, 2014 8:47 pm

Got this on whatssapp:

To all who are 40+

"We are unique and the most understanding generation because we are the last generation who listened to our parents...
and also the first who have to listen to our children.

We are not special but LIMITED EDITION."

by Guest Thu Jul 17, 2014 8:52 pm

seven wrote:I'm so bored of FB now.

Youngsters are all on instagram/snapchat/kik/whatnot. Oldies are more and more on FB. I guess I tilt towards the latter group Smile

I am slowly moving towards whatsapp for interacting w/friends. Is that considered part of social media?

by MaxEntropy_Man Thu Jul 17, 2014 8:52 pm

i use whatsapp to communicate with parents. it's very handy. so i guess i am a consumer of social media after all.

by seven Thu Jul 17, 2014 8:56 pm

Beatrix Kiddo wrote:
seven wrote:I'm so bored of FB now.

Youngsters are all on instagram/snapchat/kik/whatnot. Oldies are more and more on FB. I guess I tilt towards the latter group

I am slowly moving towards whatsapp for interacting w/friends. Is that considered part of social media?

FB bought it. ofcoz it's part of SMN. since people in india found out about it, it's another thing i keep quiet. if i let notifications show up on lockscreen i will never be able to do anything without accidentally opening whatsapp. I have the most talkative family ever. And i will be happy if they were actually talking. They keep sending lame jokes/fwds etc. you know people who just discovered internet. My aunties and well..my aunties.
i have told my sister to send me the funny ones on our private chat.

by Guest Thu Jul 17, 2014 9:03 pm

Apart from communicating with my parents and sis-in-law, i have a huge group of my college freinds on whatssapp (all reunited through the social media. We first formed a group on FB and now in whatssapp) who constantly keep sending all sorts of things. Good time pass and a stress relief to go through those after a hard day's of work.

Btw, i created an FB page for my dad the other day. He seems to be pretty fascinated by it. Don't know how long he'll continue to use it.

by Guest Thu Jul 17, 2014 9:03 pm

seven wrote:
Beatrix Kiddo wrote:
seven wrote:I'm so bored of FB now.

Youngsters are all on instagram/snapchat/kik/whatnot. Oldies are more and more on FB. I guess I tilt towards the latter group

I am slowly moving towards whatsapp for interacting w/friends. Is that considered part of social media?
FB bought it. ofcoz it's part of SMN. since people in india found out about it, it's another thing i keep quiet. if i let notifications show up on lockscreen i will never be able to do anything without accidentally opening whatsapp. I have the most talkative family ever. And i will be happy if they were actually talking. They keep sending lame jokes/fwds etc. you know people who just discovered internet. My aunties and well..my aunties.
i have told my sister to send me the funny ones on our private chat.

most of my convos are one on one, even with fam. am only in the group of college friends, who luckily keep it quiet. Sometimes we get into banter like old times. Feels like we are sitting on the stairs of our campus and cracking jokes like old times. Is fun.

by Guest Thu Jul 17, 2014 9:09 pm

Isn't SuCh/internet forums a part of social media? Ppl who are addicted to this and have spent hours and hours for the past many years look down upon social media. funny!

by Guest Thu Jul 17, 2014 9:16 pm

MaxEntropy_Man wrote:
Kinnera wrote:Isn't SuCh/internet forums a part of social media? Ppl who are addicted to this and have spent hours and hours for the past many years look down upon social media. funny!

i don't look down upon it. i don't give a crap what happens to people here, but if i learned that my college classmate lost a child to cancer or something, it would really haunt me.

Pessimistic! Won't you feel happy when you learn that your classmate's child got into an ivy league or achieved something remarkable?

Edit: from what i've seen, ppl usually like to share only good things, not bad. Some overdo it. You can always choose to block their posts.

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Thu Jul 17, 2014 10:56 pm

MaxEntropy_Man wrote:this thread just hardens my resolve to never get into social media, facebook et al. too tiring and pointless to keep up with people and go through the ups and downs of jealousy and schadenfreude. it is incompatible with developing any deep interests or pursuits. so glad i don't have to worry about all that.

I opened an account on LikedIn and lo and behold, I found out a few of them are REALY at the top of big companies... I mean Global head or VP - global operations, CEO, and at RBI.. etc... These are all easily recognizable mega companies. These bozos dont check FB but promptly responded or pinged me or linkedin. So more in my network. So there is some use for the social media.

Of course unlike kiddo, I look at their changed looks and smile. I carry those old day pics on my cell phone (ready all the time). I sent a couple of them their old pics and shocked, surprised and happy to see the Then and Now pics.

by Kris Fri Jul 18, 2014 12:32 am

Beatrix Kiddo wrote:Starting around age of 17 and up, friends in the batch began getting engaged/married. Most were done by 24-25, after that one got busy and lost interest anyway. Used to be simply a measure of keeping a statistics of -

- who are they getting married to,
- where is he from,
- what school/college did he study in (and what does he do now),
- how old is he,
- how does he look,
- how did they meet, what did they talk in first meeting,
- how long was the courtship,
- and in some cases, but quite important for the terrified virgins and newly nonvirgins, how did the first night and honeymoon go.

So anyway, I am talking about the age here. in some cases, the girl would be 20-22ish and the boy would be in the 28-31 range. After a collective gasp from all, the girl would explain how she had hesitations about it, but how she is happy. And we all rejoiced with ya the dude looks fine and has a mature air about him.

Cut 20 years, those dudes are 50+ now. Some managed to keep the dudeness, but others omg. Fully unclified, and baldness is not even an issue here. When they put on a hugging pic, have to take a second closer look to make sure it's the hubbs and not the dad, specially if the 'girl' is still well maintained for 40ish. And you would be like - wth happened. But then you would calculate the age in your head and go - ya makes sense.

Anyway, sharing just another observation of being in the 40s.

>>>I am not able to get into the social network thing, with the exception of posting here. I am however making it a point now to stay in touch with my siblings and friends, either via phone or in person. A couple of my cousins live in this state and I recently ran into a friend who was my classmate throughout middle school and high school. It is funny that we were able to hit it off despite having tread quite different paths. Speaking of age, I must admit to a twinge of regret every so often over missed opportunities. On the other hand, considering all my meanderings -or maybe because of them Smile

- have to say it is not all that bad. Not by a long shot.

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