gambhir - 0/10

you preferred IPL over international games and played IPL with the injury because you were to earn 9 crores (have you made it large enough?) from it. and you sucked in ENG. you neither returned home nor did you play like you usually do. and now you will play champions league (what a boring tournament!) with enthusiasm. you get a big zero.

sehwag - 0/10

you preffered IPL over.............. with enthusiasm. you get a big zero in addition to two zeros you got in the 3rd test.

dravid - 10/10

you did all that was asked of you. you opened. you kept because dhobi wanted to bowl. you carried the bat throughout the tournament and opened again. you scored 3 hundreds and bulk of the runs. i am sure you would have bowled if they had asked you to and you would have also come as a runner (after spending 10 hours on the field) for someone like gambhir had he requested it. your fitness was top notch. you get 10 on ten from me. however, beware. some people may say you scored in losing causes, you scored because you were chasing records and you played when it mattered little and you dropped a turd in the third test when it mattered the most (because the series could have been leveled had we won it). these people will now on pray that you don't score a hundred because it will definitely result in a loss. they will call you The New Tenduckkar. beware.

Tendulkar - 0/10

you also preferred IPL instead of touring WI. you did not play IPL with any injuries unlike gambhir and sehwag, so you should have toured WI right after the IPL to be among some runs. instead, you enjoyed ENG summer with kids and watched wimbledon and met federer. you scored 30s and 40s, but you could not score big. your last innings showed what it could have been but you failed in the entire series. don't play champions league if you are ashamed of your performance in this series. you get a zero from me.

Laxman - 0/10

IPL did not prefer you over some of your peers in Kochi Tuskers because you can't hit it in the air. as if to prove them wrong, you played three foolish shots in the air in ENG and holed it to the waiting fielders. you could not make it count although you got an opportunity to bat up the order (something you have always wanted). moreover, being a senior in the team, please improve your body language. look interested. take those hands out of your pocket. youngsters are watching. you get a zero from me.

raina - /10

you should prefer IPL over serious cricket. that's a serious advice. play for srikanth and srinivasan and score those quickfire 60s and 70s. leave test business for those who have grown a pair down there. you don't get anything from me. not even a zero. you don't deserve any more than 1 min of my time.

dhobi - 0/10

you are one of the fittest cricketers in the team, so i won't blame it on IPL in your case. you failed on all levels. as simple as that. you could not bat, you could not inspire, and you bowled instead of keeping. your captaincy was ineffective. you chose raina over kohli in the last match because srinivasan perhaps ordered you to. don't be their b*tch. you did nothing in this series so you get a zero from me.

harbhajanitor singh - 0 X 100 / 10

you are hopeless. eff off.

sreesanth - 0/10

you were not effective. many hoped that you would come good in ENG but you never did. when broads and bresnans were taking wickets, you were bowling with 4+ runs an over. i could have given you one over 10 for not doing anything embarrassing, but your performance was so bad that i have to take that 1 back and give you a zero.

p kumar - 5/10

you know (and everyone knows) your limitations but you bowled well within them and were effective. you were good in the first test but could not keep it up. overall a satisfactory performance hence 5.

ishant sharma - 0/10

you started off well but could not continue. you could have been better when the pitches were assisting. you get a zero.

zaheer khan - 0/10

you disappointed us with your lies. you should not have toured ENG in the first place. you get a zero from me.

amit mishra - 0/10

try batting.

abhinav mukund - 1/10

you scored in 40s in the first test and you get 1 for that. you were foolish to get out on the first ball later and you almost got out on the first ball again! cherish that 1 mark now.

TAZ - 10/10

You scored 10/10 for your prediction. Your world cup predictions were way off but you came good in this series. Keep it up.

Samiyaar - 8/10

Lord Ducker lived up to your expectations. But where is gumasthaji? Why is he not seen on either Screwlekha or here? Dotcha miss him?

duncan fletcher - 0/10

If Jaspal Bhatti would remake his "Flop Show" he could call it "dukkan duncan". If hollywood bought the movie rights of this series it could be called "duncan checks out".

There were reports that you'd be paid a million bucks in bonus had India won the test series. You were supposed to be architect of this England team and your insights were supposed to help us. Go to Gary-kirsten bootcamp to get coached on coaching - bus fare will be provided by BCCI but no TA/DA.

Bonus marks to Dravid for doing well in the series inspite of playing in the IPL, and in the West Indies series. No exhaustion or mental fatigue issues for him. He loves to play cricket at the highest level and doesn't shun responsibility.

Dear Anna,

Thanks for taking the attention away from the test series.

Regards,
MS Dhoni

Source: Lamebook

Richard Hed wrote:duncan fletcher - 0/10

If Jaspal Bhatti would remake his "Flop Show" he could call it "dukkan duncan". If hollywood bought the movie rights of this series it could be called "duncan checks out".

There were reports that you'd be paid a million bucks in bonus had India won the test series. You were supposed to be architect of this England team and your insights were supposed to help us. Go to Gary-kirsten bootcamp to get coached on coaching - bus fare will be provided by BCCI but no TA/DA.

fletcher 10/10 (for finally taking the ENG team to # 1 ranking - his dream of years)

Another Brick wrote:

Richard Hed wrote:duncan fletcher - 0/10

If Jaspal Bhatti would remake his "Flop Show" he could call it "dukkan duncan". If hollywood bought the movie rights of this series it could be called "duncan checks out".

There were reports that you'd be paid a million bucks in bonus had India won the test series. You were supposed to be architect of this England team and your insights were supposed to help us. Go to Gary-kirsten bootcamp to get coached on coaching - bus fare will be provided by BCCI but no TA/DA.

fletcher 10/10 (for finally taking the ENG team to # 1 ranking - his dream of years)

Haha, good one!

Another Brick wrote:gambhir - 0/10



sreesanth - 0/10

you were not effective. many hoped that you would come good in ENG but you never did. when broads and bresnans were taking wickets, you were bowling with 4+ runs an over. i could have given you one over 10 for not doing anything embarrassing, but your performance was so bad that i have to take that 1 back and give you a zero.

...and his batting in both the first and second innings of the last test? Was he trying to emulate Kapil Dev and hit 4 sixers to avoid the follow on? What a clown!

blabberwock wrote:
...and his batting in both the first and second innings of the last test? Was he trying to emulate Kapil Dev and hit 4 sixers to avoid the follow on? What a clown!

yeah, he should have tried to give strike to Dravid (146*) in the first one.

Official scorecards are in, on CricInfo. Sharda Ugra dared to give a score of 2/10 for Hindians. Meaningless banter I think. They cannot even give a zero score for zeros. No need to show any respect to any of these egotists and give a 2/10. Even Dravid was not fit for 9. He dropped at least 4 catches that proved fatal. He would get 6/10 for his batting. Wish batting alone was cricket? Not true.