India Calling

by Guest Mon Sep 05, 2011 2:59 pm

Was going through a friend's fb pics and comments just now, about her life in India. She is the wife of a college friend here. They were here for quite some time, and then moved back a few years ago. They still visit once or twice a year, and we meet them whenever we can when we are visiting.

So anyway, was seeing their pics of touring India in a train, and I got this sudden unexplanable urge, to pack e'thing and go back to India... Have not had this kind of urge in years... Used to feel this way only for the first 1.5 years here, before we moved to NJ.

So dunno why this... maybe I will think about this openly. Funnily, it was my mom who used to urge me to move to the US and for quite some time now, she is the one urging me to move back... so maybe it's her super will power working..... again. Also, husband's dad is now seriously against ANY kid living in another country, when he saw a coupld of parents being sick or dying or dead and the son/daughter could not be there as much, or get late.

People who DON'T believe in astrology can stop reading now...

In a strange connection... I have had this Rahu dasha for a while now.. began around 22 years of age, and is gonna end around 40... they say that Rahu is what draws you to phoren land. All this coming to america business began around the beginning of this phase, and who knows, it may end with the phase. But then in some other prediction, I was destined to either move abroad or marry a phorener and live and end my life here... so dunno what's in store for me. In an interesting twist, both of my kids' are astrologically destined to live all over the world and spend many years abroad (India is abroad for them I guess). In fact ALL the 7 kids of me and my siblings are gonna be big time travellers as per the astrology, no wonder we travel so much.

For now, gotta fight this urge. Yes, go to the mall and get the hair done.

by Bittu Mon Sep 05, 2011 5:33 pm

watch this if you have 44 minutes:
http://current.com/shows/vanguard/92482205_worlds-toilet-crisis.htm

report back.

by Kris Mon Sep 05, 2011 5:43 pm

People who DON'T believe in astrology can stop reading now...

>>>OK, done. Smile

Seriously, one of my best friends literally left the day before yesterday, after several years. He won't be working in India but will be living in a forest resort-ish area. Wife is european. She is cool with that. We got to start talking on the last day, a bit of nostalgia about the early days etc. In the end his take was he was he doesn't have to work, doesn't have kids and honestly, even if he were to work, opportunities to do big things are shrinking here. My suggestion is if your kids are still young, may not be a bad idea to try it out for a couple of years. You can put them in international schools. In case you do come back, they can slide back into the system here. There are others here who have gone back and seem to be pretty happy, which gives you an indication that its do-able. Good luck..

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Mon Sep 05, 2011 6:04 pm

Here are my suggestions:

Kris: Agreed. Those who have kids still in elementary schools have to give it a serious last shot at returning...or else, focus on the next generation and what is best for them. 1. They should be reasonably rich in paying for similar comfort, 2. desensitized to the uncomfortable segment of India, 3. be prepared for more serious interactions and interferences due to family issues. Living there is a different cup of tea than going in for vacations -traveling and mom/dad/relatives showering attention and food on you.

Tracy: Seriously, your urge to return to India is for negative reasons. I was talking to someone yesterday. He asked why is that ONLY the humans expect their kids to take care of them in old age and not to mention interfere and run their kids lives all their lives. NONE in the animal world (except elephants - perhaps), stop their offsprings from their independence once they are ready, and dont probably ever see them again (is there any research on this aspect of animal lives?). Humans are the only one and my answer is simply we are selfish and in the end become selfish enough to want even our kids to sacrifice their lives and take care of us.

I agree... your Rahu Dasha will end when u turn 40 and your Phoren Shapa will come to an end...

YOU WILL HAVE BECOME a US CITIZEN.... Razz

by Bittu Mon Sep 05, 2011 6:12 pm

Kris wrote:
My suggestion is if your kids are still young, may not be a bad idea to try it out for a couple of years

Terrible idea. The US is 100 times a better place to raise kids. In India, kids get molested. And there's no penalty. 99.9% instances don't get reported and even if some do, none get prosecuted. India is a scary place.

If you have small kids, raise them in the US. Go to India when you're 60+ and can afford to live off your savings/investments.

by Bittu Mon Sep 05, 2011 6:17 pm

My kids are going to India in Dec for a month. I'm very anxious about even though my wife has promised me that they will always have her or a grandparent with them at all times. I'm not so convinced.

Look up stats on the web. How many unkils from the west go to Asia to fuck children. It's some crazy shyt right there.

by Guest Mon Sep 05, 2011 6:28 pm

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
I agree... your Rahu Dasha will end when u turn 40 and your Phoren Shapa will come to an end...

YOU WILL HAVE BECOME a US CITIZEN....

lol upps...

in all seriousness, daughter is in 8th grade, totally looking forward to high school. A BIG force to deal with right there.... let's see...

by Kris Mon Sep 05, 2011 6:44 pm

daughter is in 8th grade, totally looking forward to high school.

>>>> And the fun begins.... wait for a massive personality transformation

by Bittu Mon Sep 05, 2011 7:00 pm

I have a feeling most of the posters here are ugly and their kids are ugly. People who never got molested in India.

I'll say it again. India is a very scary place to raise kids. Ok forget ugly. There's no penalty in India if your kid gets raped.

by Guest Mon Sep 05, 2011 7:26 pm

Bittu. Somehow I'm unable to share your paranoia about kids in India. I know like a dozen kids being raised in India and no such worries. Most parents I know are pretty vigilant just like we are here. They hav full-time help that they trust. And then there is the added bonus if they live with the grandparents.

Nor have I heard it either. You can argue that such things may be kept hush-hush but such things do come out with time. Maybe its much more rampant in Delhi than other places. *shrug*

by Bittu Mon Sep 05, 2011 7:39 pm

i'm a guy and I have been approached/accosted in India for sexual gratification from the ages of 14-21, about 10 times. I'm lucky because I was older. Kids who are younger don't stand a chance.

You say you are unable to share my paranoia about kids in India. If there is no accountability, why aren't you paranoid?

by Guest Mon Sep 05, 2011 8:04 pm

What's the accountability here? If you browse enough article about sex slavery. Kids are targeted in the malls all the time, where they star browsing by themselves around teenage. Maybe not happen with us coz we are not white and are somewhat middle class.

Teen sex and bullying is even worse here. Peer pressure is even worse than that. It all boils down to how vigilant the parents are.

by Bittu Mon Sep 05, 2011 8:18 pm

Tracy Whitney wrote:What's the accountability here?

lots. if you fuck with a kid and the kid/parents report it, you're fucked.

in india, nothing will happen.

i really have to explain this?

by Guest Mon Sep 05, 2011 8:23 pm

Bittu wrote:
Tracy Whitney wrote:What's the accountability here?

lots. if you fuck with a kid and the kid/parents report it, you're fucked.

in india, nothing will happen.

i really have to explain this?

Is that reason enough to sit back and rest assured? Won't you still be careful about the kids so that it does NOT happen to them?

Besides, ever heard of repeat offenders?

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Mon Sep 05, 2011 8:25 pm

Bittu wrote:
Tracy Whitney wrote:What's the accountability here?

lots. if you fuck with a kid and the kid/parents report it, you're fucked.

in india, nothing will happen.

i really have to explain this?

You seem to have too much negative energy. Please take THIS advice seriously:

"Take a handful of salt. in an open fire throw the salt and ask the negative energy to leave you."

by Guest Mon Sep 05, 2011 8:40 pm

To be frank people these days are more worried about kindnapping for ransom than child molesting. Now THAT worries me more. And the parents there.

Wonder what hk, ab, Rekz, nutmeg, and md's take on this.

by Bittu Mon Sep 05, 2011 9:00 pm

Tracy Whitney wrote:
Is that reason enough to sit back and rest assured? Won't you still be careful about the kids so that it does NOT happen to them?

Besides, ever heard of repeat offenders?

i didn't understand what you wrote. Hindi mein likho...

by Guest Mon Sep 05, 2011 9:36 pm

Bittu wrote:
Tracy Whitney wrote:
Is that reason enough to sit back and rest assured? Won't you still be careful about the kids so that it does NOT happen to them?

Besides, ever heard of repeat offenders?

i didn't understand what you wrote. Hindi mein likho...

Just because it's easier to catch and punish a molester does not mean you won't be careful about your kids' whereabouts... Even in this country you think twice before letting your kids come home alone from the bus stop.

Besides, people still commit the crimes even after knowing the consequences, and even after being punished for the same. Some people are just sick, specially the child molesters.

by Another Brick Tue Sep 06, 2011 12:51 am

Tracy Whitney wrote:To be frank people these days are more worried about kindnapping for ransom than child molesting. Now THAT worries me more. And the parents there.

Wonder what hk, ab, Rekz, nutmeg, and md's take on this.

i don't have any experience in raising kids. i can say a few things based on my experience with the schooling here. i tend to think that it is much better to raise your kids in the US than India. i think that the education system in the US makes your kid a lot smarter than those in india. you are encouraged to talk, challenge, ask questions and be bold. you are encouraged to play, sing, play music, act and whatnot. it is possible that the kids in india get to do all these things nowadays (i don't really know) but i am telling this from my experience (my schooling sucked). moreover, there are not enough libraries here. no museums. no art galleries. no playgrounds. no parks. kids turn out one dimensional here. all they know is scoring marks in exams.

TV is not censored here and kids get to watch a lot of skin and dirty dialogue-giri here.

add to it some other stupid problems with this dumphole. power cuts, water shortages, potholed roads, stupid traffic, caste-based reservations, local goons, corruption etc etc.

some of the good things here are - food. cheap domestic help. cheap dental care. cheap ironing (winner!). you can meet your relatives more often. and if you are enterprising and/or have some special skills, you can make it big here.

edit - forgot to mention inflation. you will have to burn most of your savings towards a decent-sized (meaning 1600-1800 sq ft) flat in a decent locality. and still there is no guarantee that there won't be slums around you and you won't step into cow dung once you leave the building.

by Merlot Daruwala Tue Sep 06, 2011 1:18 am

Bittu's paranoia is not altogether baseless. Ewwerry day, the newspapers report incidents of child molestation - in schools, school buses and by random kidnappers. Murders and robberies by servants is just as common.

Parents in India are altogether blase about the risks, to the point of irresponsibility. It really gets my goat to see young kids left behind in the care of servants all day - and if the parents are traveling on work, for days together. It's not as if these manservants / maids are trusted help who have been around for years - the turnover rates are very high so most of them are hired from some shady agency which does a sham of a background check.

Unless the child summons up sufficient courage to complain (or the signs are evident), the parents will never know of any abuse that took place - and this need not be sexual alone. A couple of weeks back, a teenaged maid was held for throwing down a one-year old from the top of a 2-floor building because it wouldn't stop crying.

Don't know why these people give birth to kids in the first place if they can't invest the time and effort in bringing them up.

by Saathiya Tue Sep 06, 2011 5:36 am

Merlot Daruwala wrote:
Don't know why these people give birth to kids in the first place if they can't invest the time and effort in bringing them up.

Because human beings want everything in life. They need to have a career / money and they want children as well. Not every woman who also wants to be a mother wants to/ can afford to stop working. Blaming parents for such incidents is not right. Most normal parents do everything in their capacity for the well being of their children. You can only be that much careful - believe me, even stay at home moms sometimes need someone to baby sit their kids just to keep their sanity.

Also how much careful can you be? You don't let anyone babysit your child. Can you send them to day cares? How about schools? Can you take them out? What if they run on the road and get crushed by a car while you stopped to pick up something from the road? Yesterday, saw a mom with two children. She was putting the baby in car seat, while the 3 year old ran. She screamed and thankfully the child stopped. It was a busy road, what if the child didn't stop? Would you blame the mother?

by Guest Tue Sep 06, 2011 7:06 am

no, molestation is not a concern here when you can have live-in maids as house help. of more concern, in india, are kidnapping, murder, robbery, road accidents and bad company (for children). though i don't have daughters, my brother does. in one case we had dismissed a house help 'cos we suspected him. but, i repeat, it was not a big deal for us. maybe we are aberrant parents. my brother switched to maids after that incident.

i agree with what saathiya says above. raising kids is very tough and you can do with all the help you can get and you have to take risks. and if you want to be paranoid -- there are lots to be worried about (and not just molestation): child falling from bus; bus falling on child; tsunami in school; meteor strike in school etc. not to mention the scary early sexual awakening prevalent in societies abroad.

by Guest Tue Sep 06, 2011 8:07 am

[quote="Marathadi-Saamiyaar"][quote="Bittu"]

Tracy Whitney wrote:

You seem to have too much negative energy. Please take THIS advice seriously:

"Take a handful of salt. in an open fire throw the salt and ask the negative energy to leave you."

lol. Got the joke only now.

Ab md hk saathiya. Thanks for your comments. I agree with most of what you wrote an I have many conflicting/changing thoughts on each. Not able to compose them yet. Will tackle one at a time.

by .|Sublime|. Tue Sep 06, 2011 10:57 am

Tracy Whitney wrote:Ab md hk saathiya. Thanks for your comments. I agree with most of what you wrote an I have many conflicting/changing thoughts on each. Not able to compose them yet. Will tackle one at a time.

what is there to think about? Such has spoken.
India is a country of molesters and kidnappers. I feel sorry for everyone raising their kids in India and the miserable lives they are leading in that wretched country with rampant lechery. These kids will grow up surrounded by perverted behavior and strangers and help seeking sexual favors. Grown up they will transfer this lasciviousness to other members of society. Sad situation, i say

by Propagandhi711 Tue Sep 06, 2011 11:09 am

.|Sublime|. wrote:
Tracy Whitney wrote:Ab md hk saathiya. Thanks for your comments. I agree with most of what you wrote an I have many conflicting/changing thoughts on each. Not able to compose them yet. Will tackle one at a time.

what is there to think about? Such has spoken.
India is a country of molesters and kidnappers. I feel sorry for everyone raising their kids in India and the miserable lives they are leading in that wretched country with rampant lechery. These kids will grow up surrounded by perverted behavior and strangers and help seeking sexual favors. Grown up they will transfer this lasciviousness to other members of society. Sad situation, i say

your sarcasm excites me - I got serious brain wood right now.

by Guest Tue Sep 06, 2011 11:20 am

ha ha ha.

by .|Sublime|. Tue Sep 06, 2011 11:23 am

Propagandhi711 wrote:
.|Sublime|. wrote:
Tracy Whitney wrote:Ab md hk saathiya. Thanks for your comments. I agree with most of what you wrote an I have many conflicting/changing thoughts on each. Not able to compose them yet. Will tackle one at a time.

what is there to think about? Such has spoken.
India is a country of molesters and kidnappers. I feel sorry for everyone raising their kids in India and the miserable lives they are leading in that wretched country with rampant lechery. These kids will grow up surrounded by perverted behavior and strangers and help seeking sexual favors. Grown up they will transfer this lasciviousness to other members of society. Sad situation, i say

your sarcasm excites me - I got serious brain wood right now.

aah now we know the cause of your headache. you be careful now....we do not want your head to explode.

by The Absolute Zero Tue Sep 06, 2011 11:48 am

Tracy
This is one of those "this too shall pass away" things. Next week you will be back with how great life is w/o fbook. For non-Bittu's "f" in here stands for "face." :-) Nostalgia.

Relocating with all parivar and pati is no joke. You gotta have steel nerves. From your posts it is clear you don't. Pun very much intended.

by doofus_maximus Tue Sep 06, 2011 11:54 am

but then where is the pun.

by Propagandhi711 Tue Sep 06, 2011 11:57 am

doofus_maximus wrote:but then where is the pun.

\\

dont make fun please. he has lots of puns in that paragraph.

by Rekz Tue Sep 06, 2011 12:23 pm

Living in India is not as bad as it's been potrayed above. Pollution,traffic,slums,unhygenic domestic help,band,bhaja,bharat,muzik and masti India is too choatic to live in. Find safe place to live,choose a good school nearby,opt your priority as in home/career/or both and balance it.
Does it matter where we live? It only matters how we lead our life.We can't interfere with school environment/syllabus.But we can make a lot of difference at home.Being a happy,responsible and postive parent to children is more important.Crime is everywhere, we got be vigiliant and protective.If it's possible andif one can afford i feel one parent should take full responsibility of being at home taking care of kids.Maids can take care of domestic chores but babies should be taken care of the respective parents.

by Guest Tue Sep 06, 2011 1:40 pm

It's natural for any desi to get those pangs of moving back from time-to-time. Time being relative to daily to maybe once in a decade. Point again is - it's natural. Not to get all Dr. Drew on y'all but, one can & does always find reasons to either move back or stay put. And it's OK, right? Smile

TW: India will call but, all the sap/gore above aside - do you really want to respond?

Wvvonly you know the answer...

by Bittu Tue Sep 06, 2011 1:44 pm

Richard Hed wrote:It's natural for any desi to get those pangs of moving back from time-to-time.

F that. I don't even want to visit, let alone f'n MOVE back into that shit hole.

by Guest Tue Sep 06, 2011 1:52 pm

Bittu wrote:
Richard Hed wrote:It's natural for any desi to get those pangs of moving back from time-to-time.

F that. I don't even want to visit, let alone f'n MOVE back into that shit hole.

Channeling Good Will Hunting here:

"It's not your fault. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. Bittu, it's not your fault." Very Happy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92D15qtI_Gk

by Another Brick Wed Sep 07, 2011 1:05 am

The Absolute Zero wrote:Tracy
This is one of those "this too shall pass away" things. Next week you will be back with how great life is w/o fbook. For non-Bittu's "f" in here stands for "face." :-) Nostalgia.

do you listen to what you say, TAZ?

The Absolute Zero wrote:
Relocating with all parivar and pati is no joke. You gotta have steel nerves. From your posts it is clear you don't. Pun very much intended.

pun? where is the pun? i don't see any pun here. here's an example of pun from the cricket world - Bowler's Holding, batsman's Willie.

here's a question with pun and its answer for you:

Q - what is black & white and red* all over the world?
A - newspaper.

* and therein lies the pun.

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