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jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
+36
Seva Lamberdar
garam-kuta
tapori
smArtha
b_A
indophile
Captain Bhankas
Nila
seven
southindian
yogi
Idéfix
Jeremiah Mburuburu
Petrichor
Maria S
chameli
Kris
Bittu
Merlot Daruwala
.|Sublime|.
Miss.Blah
MaxEntropy_Man
Mr. T
The Absolute Zero
Rekz
Propagandhi711
FreeStyle
ढीकम टांटिया
CroMagnon
charvaka
artood2
Another Brick
garamkuta
Hellsangel
Black Swan
harharmahadev
40 posters
Page 7 of 15
Page 7 of 15 • 1 ... 6, 7, 8 ... 11 ... 15
Re: jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
.|Sublime|. wrote:
have read this one, I think in reader's digest.. used to retell this often.
Guest- Guest
Re: jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
Teacher: Sholey mein sabse badi kya tragedy thi?
Bunty: Ek to Thakur ki biwi nahi thi, aur upar se Gabbar ne uske haath bhi kaat diye the
Bunty: Ek to Thakur ki biwi nahi thi, aur upar se Gabbar ne uske haath bhi kaat diye the
Guest- Guest
Re: jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
good one, seven
Bittu- Posts : 1151
Join date : 2011-08-19
Re: jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
Tracy Whitney wrote:.|Sublime|. wrote:
have read this one, I think in reader's digest.. used to retell this often.
>>>LOL! There was one in RD years ago which I remember. Its about a guy in the army sending one of his colleagues to pick up his wife from the train station. The two have a tough time identifying each other. They finally do and the wife says, ".. it would have been easier if he had told me you were black" and the guy says, " and easier still if he had told me you were pregnant"..
Kris- Posts : 5460
Join date : 2011-04-28
Re: jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
http://forums.sulekha.com/forums/romance/love-sex-astrology-8646.htm#8648
Guest- Guest
Re: jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
Kris wrote:Tracy Whitney wrote:.|Sublime|. wrote:
have read this one, I think in reader's digest.. used to retell this often.
>>>LOL! There was one in RD years ago which I remember. Its about a guy in the army sending one of his colleagues to pick up his wife from the train station. The two have a tough time identifying each other. They finally do and the wife says, ".. it would have been easier if he had told me you were black" and the guy says, " and easier still if he had told me you were pregnant"..
Saw this just now... there was another one on RD I remember. This guy spent an entire train ride looking at a guy and thinking how much he resembles his father. Then at the end of this ride, that old man comes to him and says, 'you look so much like my son'.
Guest- Guest
Re: jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
From FB:
After a fight with his wife.... The husband says
"IF I EVER WISH TO COMMIT SUICIDE, I WILL JUMP FROM YOUR ATTITUDE TO YOUR IQ LEVEL...!".....
After a fight with his wife.... The husband says
"IF I EVER WISH TO COMMIT SUICIDE, I WILL JUMP FROM YOUR ATTITUDE TO YOUR IQ LEVEL...!".....
Guest- Guest
Re: jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
Have you noticed how guys wear their watches in left hand n girls wear them in right. Do you know why?
To see the time.
To see the time.
Guest- Guest
Re: jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
BW ran 6K yesterday
possibly through a forest
So the question is how did she go through the forest ?
Like all the crazy people do ofcozz!! She took the psycho path
on a totally unrelated note,
ever wondered why gorillas have big nostrils?
bcz they have big fingers! duh!!
possibly through a forest
So the question is how did she go through the forest ?
Like all the crazy people do ofcozz!! She took the psycho path
on a totally unrelated note,
ever wondered why gorillas have big nostrils?
bcz they have big fingers! duh!!
Guest- Guest
Re: jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
seven wrote:Teacher: Sholey mein sabse badi kya tragedy thi?
Bunty: Ek to Thakur ki biwi nahi thi, aur upar se Gabbar ne uske haath bhi kaat diye the
Ramlal tha na!
Re: jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
A drunk Irisihman falls
O'Connell was staggering home with a pint of booze in his back pocket when he slipped and fell heavily. Struggling to his feet, he felt something wet running down his leg.
"Please, God," he implored, "let it be blood
O'Connell was staggering home with a pint of booze in his back pocket when he slipped and fell heavily. Struggling to his feet, he felt something wet running down his leg.
"Please, God," he implored, "let it be blood
Guest- Guest
Re: jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
Got it in my fb
Men are like..... Commercials.............. You can't believe a word they say.
Men are like..... Government Bonds..... They take soooo long to mature.
Men are like..... Mascara......... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Men are like..... Lava Lamps..... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
Men are like..... Parking Spots... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
Men are like..... Commercials.............. You can't believe a word they say.
Men are like..... Government Bonds..... They take soooo long to mature.
Men are like..... Mascara......... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Men are like..... Lava Lamps..... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
Men are like..... Parking Spots... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
Guest- Guest
Re: jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
Huzefa Kapasi wrote:LOL kinns. thanks for posting these.
Ain't they great! btw huzee, when r u joining our gym club?
Guest- Guest
Re: jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
LOL. within a month i promise. thanks for the support. the pressure keeps everything real for me. and, no, i'm not planning to slink away during this one month to escape the peer pressure.
Guest- Guest
Re: jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
from twitter:
RT @ashwinmushran: The Govt. wants to read our tweets...Err...OK! They just have to log on and read...it's not rocket science.
RT @ashwinmushran: The Govt. wants to read our tweets...Err...OK! They just have to log on and read...it's not rocket science.
Guest- Guest
Re: jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
Huzefa Kapasi wrote:LOL. within a month i promise. thanks for the support. the pressure keeps everything real for me. and, no, i'm not planning to slink away during this one month to escape the peer pressure.
Why one month? No shubh muhuraths until then?
Guest- Guest
Re: jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
A prayer for the new year
Dear God,
My prayer for 2012 is for
A fat bank account & a thin body.
Please don't mix these up
like you did last year.
AMEN!
Dear God,
My prayer for 2012 is for
A fat bank account & a thin body.
Please don't mix these up
like you did last year.
AMEN!
Guest- Guest
Re: jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
What is Ghanta Claus?
Santa Claus who gets you nothing for Christmas.
Santa Claus who gets you nothing for Christmas.
Bittu- Posts : 1151
Join date : 2011-08-19
Re: jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
How are we doing here ?
ek admi ne apne dost se kaha, "Maine apni biwi ko 12th pass karwaya, B.A. ki degree dilwai fir M.A. karwaya aur govt. job bhi lagwa di. Ab meri samajh nahi aara ab aur kya karoon?
Dost bola, " ab achha sa ladka dekh ke uski SHADI bhi karwa de" =))
ek admi ne apne dost se kaha, "Maine apni biwi ko 12th pass karwaya, B.A. ki degree dilwai fir M.A. karwaya aur govt. job bhi lagwa di. Ab meri samajh nahi aara ab aur kya karoon?
Dost bola, " ab achha sa ladka dekh ke uski SHADI bhi karwa de" =))
Guest- Guest
Re: jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
Advice from Dr. Oz
I'm passing this on because it worked for me today...Dr Oz on TV said that to reach inner peace we should always finish things we start, and we all could use more calm in our lives during the hectic Holiday season. I looked around my house to find things I'd started and hadn't finished, so I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiuminun scriptins, an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how fablus I feel rite now. Tel this to all who need inner piss. An telum u luvum.
I'm passing this on because it worked for me today...Dr Oz on TV said that to reach inner peace we should always finish things we start, and we all could use more calm in our lives during the hectic Holiday season. I looked around my house to find things I'd started and hadn't finished, so I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiuminun scriptins, an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how fablus I feel rite now. Tel this to all who need inner piss. An telum u luvum.
Guest- Guest
Re: jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
Hats off to Nirmalamma and Kota and of course, Tanikella Bharani for writing the dialogues. Enjoy!
Guest- Guest
Re: jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
<P align=left>A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car.
<p>The mechanic shouted across the garage,"Hello Doctor!! Please come over here for a minute."
<p>The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic.
<p>The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one. So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing basically the same work? "
<p>The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic.... .
<p>.
<p>.
He said: "Try to do it when the engine is running ".
<p>The mechanic shouted across the garage,"Hello Doctor!! Please come over here for a minute."
<p>The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic.
<p>The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one. So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing basically the same work? "
<p>The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic.... .
<p>.
<p>.
He said: "Try to do it when the engine is running ".
Guest- Guest
Re: jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
Pre-TGIF PJ submission:
Gabbar: Gande
Sambha: Tu ganda...
Gabbar: Gande
Sambhar: Tu ganda...
Gabbar: Abe GUN de GUN!
Gabbar: Gande
Sambha: Tu ganda...
Gabbar: Gande
Sambhar: Tu ganda...
Gabbar: Abe GUN de GUN!
Bittu- Posts : 1151
Join date : 2011-08-19
Re: jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
Nikah K Baad Dulha: Molvi saab Aapki Fees?
Molvi: Biwi Ki Khubsurti Ke Mutabiq De do.
Dulhe Ne 10 Rs. De Diye aur uth kar jane laga.
Achanak Hawa Se Dulhan Ka Ghunghat Uth Gaya.
Molvi: Ama Miya, Baki Paise To Le lo...
Guest- Guest
Re: jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
Sardar: shirt ke liye kapada dikhao
Salesman: plain me dikhau?
Sardar: nahi, helicopter me dikha kutte
Salesman: plain me dikhau?
Sardar: nahi, helicopter me dikha kutte
Bittu- Posts : 1151
Join date : 2011-08-19
Re: jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
you got to love omar abdullah.
http://www.ndtv.com/article/india/where-is-my-lal-batti-tweets-omar-stuck-on-plane-in-fog-168941
http://www.ndtv.com/article/india/where-is-my-lal-batti-tweets-omar-stuck-on-plane-in-fog-168941
Guest- Guest
Re: jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
Huzefa Kapasi wrote:you got to love omar abdullah.
http://www.ndtv.com/article/india/where-is-my-lal-batti-tweets-omar-stuck-on-plane-in-fog-168941
politicians are such drama kings, uff.
Guest- Guest
Re: jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
i find him a refreshing, articulate voice among politicos on twitter. second to sushma swaraj (in-joke). not sure of his politics but he did kickoff a KP (kashmiri pandit) week last week by urging all KPs to return to the valley. maybe it was just lip service. one guy asked-- what have you done for the KPs still there?
Guest- Guest
Re: jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
his dad and my mom were classmates. There. My 15-minute claim to fame.
Guest- Guest
Re: jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
Santa to Banta- "aaj mere paas paisa hai, business hai,
bangla hai, gaadi hai, naukar chaakar hain, bank balance hai. tere paas kya hai?"
Banta - "mere paas bhi paisa hai, business hai, bangla hai, gaadi hai,
naukar chaakar hain, bank balance hai"
Santa - Abe to hamari maa kiske paas hai.
bangla hai, gaadi hai, naukar chaakar hain, bank balance hai. tere paas kya hai?"
Banta - "mere paas bhi paisa hai, business hai, bangla hai, gaadi hai,
naukar chaakar hain, bank balance hai"
Santa - Abe to hamari maa kiske paas hai.
.|Sublime|.- Posts : 387
Join date : 2011-05-02
Re: jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
.|Sublime|. wrote:Santa to Banta- "aaj mere paas paisa hai, business hai,
bangla hai, gaadi hai, naukar chaakar hain, bank balance hai. tere paas kya hai?"
Banta - "mere paas bhi paisa hai, business hai, bangla hai, gaadi hai,
naukar chaakar hain, bank balance hai"
Santa - Abe to hamari maa kiske paas hai.
Guest- Guest
Re: jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
.|Sublime|. post the rest of the joke. don't serialize.
Guest- Guest
Re: jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
Huzefa Kapasi wrote:.|Sublime|. post the rest of the joke. don't serialize.
i will as soon as i receive it. till then, continue looking for kinnera
.|Sublime|.- Posts : 387
Join date : 2011-05-02
Re: jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
.|Sublime|. wrote:Santa to Banta- "aaj mere paas paisa hai, business hai,
bangla hai, gaadi hai, naukar chaakar hain, bank balance hai. tere paas kya hai?"
Banta - "mere paas bhi paisa hai, business hai, bangla hai, gaadi hai,
naukar chaakar hain, bank balance hai"
Santa - Abe to hamari maa kiske paas hai.
artood2- Posts : 1321
Join date : 2011-04-30
Re: jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
courtesy fakingnews.com (@fakingnews on twitter)
someone threw a shoe at rahul gandhi in dehradun today.
aam aadmi ke udtey kadam.
someone threw a shoe at rahul gandhi in dehradun today.
aam aadmi ke udtey kadam.
Guest- Guest
Re: jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
Subject: No headaches any day
>
>
>
>
> Newly married Gujarati Couple Kept having sex 24x7. The guy was getting
> extremely weak. He consulted a doctor.
>
> Doctor said: "Have Sex only on those days which have 'R' in it.
> Like: ThuRsday, FRiday or SatuRday. You will then regain your
> strength."
> He agreed and mentioned it to his horny wife.
>
> On Monday, the husband asked his wife "Darling What Day is it today?
>
>
> Wife, with a naughty smile said, "SomvaaR. Then MangalvaaR, BhudhvaaR,
> GuruvaaR, ShukravaaR, ShanivaaR, RavivaaR" !!!
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Newly married Gujarati Couple Kept having sex 24x7. The guy was getting
> extremely weak. He consulted a doctor.
>
> Doctor said: "Have Sex only on those days which have 'R' in it.
> Like: ThuRsday, FRiday or SatuRday. You will then regain your
> strength."
> He agreed and mentioned it to his horny wife.
>
> On Monday, the husband asked his wife "Darling What Day is it today?
>
>
> Wife, with a naughty smile said, "SomvaaR. Then MangalvaaR, BhudhvaaR,
> GuruvaaR, ShukravaaR, ShanivaaR, RavivaaR" !!!
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
chameli- Posts : 1073
Join date : 2011-10-07
Age : 39
Location : Dallas USA
Re: jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
lol good one chams. also good one from Sublime
Bittu- Posts : 1151
Join date : 2011-08-19
Re: jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
Question: which indian state has the highest English speaking population?
Smart answer:
Before 8:00 pm: Kerala
After 8:00 pm: Punjab
Smart answer:
Before 8:00 pm: Kerala
After 8:00 pm: Punjab
Guest- Guest
Re: jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
shouldn't it be:
after 9am (office hours): kerala
after 9pm (drinking time): punjab
?
after 9am (office hours): kerala
after 9pm (drinking time): punjab
?
Bittu- Posts : 1151
Join date : 2011-08-19
Re: jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
Husband throwing darts at his wife's photo and not even a single one hitting the target.
From another room wife asks the Husband: Honey what are you doing?
Husband : Missing you!!
From another room wife asks the Husband: Honey what are you doing?
Husband : Missing you!!
Guest- Guest
Re: jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
Subject: Fwd: FW: ENJOY THE LAUGHTER WHILE IT IS STILL FREE.
Low Cost Airline
Attendant: Welcome aboard Ala Carte Air, Sir. May I see your ticket?
Passenger: Sure.
Attendant: You're in seat 12B. That will be $5, please!
Passenger: What for?
Attendant: For telling you where to sit.
Passenger: But I already knew where to sit.
Attendant: Nevertheless, we are now charging a seat-locator fee of $5. It's the airline's new policy.
Passenger: That's the craziest thing I ever heard. I won't pay it.
Attendant: Sir, do you want a seat on this flight, or not?
Passenger: Yes, yes. All right, I'll pay. But the airline is going to hear about this.
Attendant: Thank you. My goodness, your carry-on bag looks heavy. Would you like me to stow it in the overhead compartment for you?
Passenger: That would be swell, thanks.
Attendant: No problem (grunts). Up we go, and done!
That will be $10, please.
Passenger: What?
Attendant: The airline now charges a $10 carry-on assistance fee.
Passenger: This is extortion. I won't stand for it.
Attendant: Actually, you're right - you can't stand. You need to sit, and fasten your seat belt. We're about to push back from the gate. But first I need that $10.
Passenger: No way.
Attendant: Sir, if! You don 't comply, I will be forced to call the air marshal. And you really don't want me to do that.
Passenger: Why not? Is he going to shoot me?
Attendant: No, but there's a $50 air-marshal hailing fee.
Passenger: Oh, all right, here - take the $10. I can't believe this.
Attendant: Thank you for your cooperation, sir. Is there anything else I can do for you?
Passenger: Yes. It's stuffy in here, and my overhead fan doesn't seem to work. Can you fix it?
Attendant: Your overhead fan is not broken, sir. Just insert two quarters into the overhead coin slot for the first five minutes.
Passenger: The airline is charging me for cabin air?
Attendant: Of course not, sir. Stagnant cabin air is provided free of charge. It's the circulating air that costs 50 cents.
Passenger: I don't have any quarters. Can you make change for a dollar?
Attendant: Certainly, sir! Here you go!
Passenger: But you've given me only three quarters for my dollar.
Attendant: Yes, there's a change-making fee of 25 cents.
Passenger: For cryin' out loud. All I have left is a lousy quarter?
Whatever will I do with it?
Attendant: Hang onto it. You'll need it later for the lavatory.
Low Cost Airline
Attendant: Welcome aboard Ala Carte Air, Sir. May I see your ticket?
Passenger: Sure.
Attendant: You're in seat 12B. That will be $5, please!
Passenger: What for?
Attendant: For telling you where to sit.
Passenger: But I already knew where to sit.
Attendant: Nevertheless, we are now charging a seat-locator fee of $5. It's the airline's new policy.
Passenger: That's the craziest thing I ever heard. I won't pay it.
Attendant: Sir, do you want a seat on this flight, or not?
Passenger: Yes, yes. All right, I'll pay. But the airline is going to hear about this.
Attendant: Thank you. My goodness, your carry-on bag looks heavy. Would you like me to stow it in the overhead compartment for you?
Passenger: That would be swell, thanks.
Attendant: No problem (grunts). Up we go, and done!
That will be $10, please.
Passenger: What?
Attendant: The airline now charges a $10 carry-on assistance fee.
Passenger: This is extortion. I won't stand for it.
Attendant: Actually, you're right - you can't stand. You need to sit, and fasten your seat belt. We're about to push back from the gate. But first I need that $10.
Passenger: No way.
Attendant: Sir, if! You don 't comply, I will be forced to call the air marshal. And you really don't want me to do that.
Passenger: Why not? Is he going to shoot me?
Attendant: No, but there's a $50 air-marshal hailing fee.
Passenger: Oh, all right, here - take the $10. I can't believe this.
Attendant: Thank you for your cooperation, sir. Is there anything else I can do for you?
Passenger: Yes. It's stuffy in here, and my overhead fan doesn't seem to work. Can you fix it?
Attendant: Your overhead fan is not broken, sir. Just insert two quarters into the overhead coin slot for the first five minutes.
Passenger: The airline is charging me for cabin air?
Attendant: Of course not, sir. Stagnant cabin air is provided free of charge. It's the circulating air that costs 50 cents.
Passenger: I don't have any quarters. Can you make change for a dollar?
Attendant: Certainly, sir! Here you go!
Passenger: But you've given me only three quarters for my dollar.
Attendant: Yes, there's a change-making fee of 25 cents.
Passenger: For cryin' out loud. All I have left is a lousy quarter?
Whatever will I do with it?
Attendant: Hang onto it. You'll need it later for the lavatory.
chameli- Posts : 1073
Join date : 2011-10-07
Age : 39
Location : Dallas USA
Re: jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
Santa (to doctor): Doctorji...subah se bahut headache ho raha hai!
Doctor: Kya tum sharaab peete ho?
Santa: Haan...par mere liye chota peg banana.
Doctor: Kya tum sharaab peete ho?
Santa: Haan...par mere liye chota peg banana.
Re: jokes thread (english, hindi, tamil telugu etc.)
Gabbar to Samba : Gande
Samba: tu Ganda..tera baap ganda....tera khandaan ganda!!!
Gabbar: abbe saale!!! GUN DE GUN!!!
Samba: tu Ganda..tera baap ganda....tera khandaan ganda!!!
Gabbar: abbe saale!!! GUN DE GUN!!!
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