https://such.forumotion.com/t40512-2016-in-review

t w wrote:

how was your 2016, TS?

mine sucked dog poop. but i think i should be a little more generous coz i am having this weird feeling that 2017 might suck dog pooper.

yes

t w wrote:

But something within me is telling me that this will be a strong year for me, whether good or bad.

sorta

t w wrote:
I have made a couple of very tough decisions (personal and parental) as part of this new year resolution, and i think it will be good for my heart.

yes and yes

still 21 days to go but can say 2017 was not a good year overall ...  

basic theme for me personally was sickness... all year round, starting from day 1, repeated themes of sickness and sadness. people joked that i checked into ER on Jan 20th coz i could not handle trump inauguration, heh. but ya, infections, acid stomach, allergies, blown up sinus, burnt up skin, sprains here and there, but luckily nothing too drastic. Not just with me, but with friends and family too. A small or big discomfort all year around.

in terms of relationships, one got stronger while one ended for good. In a drama that normally happens to me (like someone here said once - 'stories happen to me coz i go seeking them'), was stalking the social media of one ex, just to see what an ace stalker would see if he stalked this ex, and chanced upon objectionable stuff about another ex instead. So ya, that ended that one. I mean how do you make an ex an ex again? yep, ask me about it. Best thing is, I didn't feel anything, and that set me free. For the first time in my life, i didn't really care for this ex. People tried to console me, but I found myself consoling them instead.

But to counter one breakup, there were 2 or 3 more breakups in the family. Counter? Yeah those caused sadness, but also felt like good riddance. *whew*

In terms of friendships too, ended a couple of them for good. Some were already dead, but felt good to delete their number off the phone. It was also cathartic to let a couple of them go. Got distant from and stopped responding to most others who didn't bother to meet me or call/text me when my father passed away. Group messages don't count. Whatever number of friends i have left now feels good coz i know it warms my heart knowing we are solid.

Which brings to the saddest part of my year (or life), losing my father. And the entire circumstances in which it happened. With half the family sick. With mom sick right after he passed away. With everyone around sick. With the potential of myself falling sick. Didn't think i would ever face an epidemic so closely, thought it was a thing of past. called bff to say i am coming coz dad's not well, she said her own mother is in coma. So we were going back and forth to each other for supporting one another. Yet another friend lost her kid a day after i met her. That one broke my heart completely.

It was the first death of a close one I was witnessing in 25 years. No actually, it was the first. I spent 4 days in the hospital watching him get worse. He passed away infront of my eyes. I watched him get cremated. I submerged his ashes in the river. And yet I find it hard to believe that he's gone. Most days I am fine, but there are still days when I break down crying. I talk to his picture. I look at old pictures and trace my finger over his pictures as if that will bring him back into being. I think i could be suffering from ptsd. the 3-4 breakups that happened in the family, including mine, happened within 6 weeks of my dad passing away. very low phase, past 2-3 months. No good news from any avenue.

But personally, some things did turn around for good in 2017. I did have some good moments. Kid doing well in school being one of them, despite all hardships. A summer vacation that rested the soul. And I did have some stellar close heartfelt moments with people close to my heart. I reconnected with my family and long lost cousins after my father passed away. Had forgotten that connection for years. that way this year was good.

In some ways I am looking forward to 2018, but at the same time I am not. As per chinese year predictions, 2017 was supposed to be good for me (just checked), and 2018 is supposed to be bad. If that was 'good', don't want to know what 'bad' would be. heh. There are a couple of travel plans scheduled for next year that give me anxiety every time I think about it, and I know I will continue to be this way until the year is passed. Things were very chill at work in 2017, but have a feeling that will change big time next year, but hopefully in a good way. Hoping I am able to keep a tab on my health next year. Manage my sugar and allergies, lose weight, and so on. Will turn the BIG 45 next year. Don't feel it at all!

TW: My condolences for your father's loss. I hope the passing of time will dull the pain of loss leaving behind only the memories. Wish you a spectacular 2018. Good to know kid is doing well in school.

Thanks Max. Wishing you a great 2018 as well

Time is the best medicine, heals all wounds. On bright side, you seem to be the stronger (mentally) one in your family/friends, keep it up.

Tw, my condolences to you and other family members on the passing away of your father. May his soul Rest In Peace. 
Even though the year 2017 did not turn out good for you, hopefully the things will be better for you in the new year'18.  Wishing you a very nice and happy new year starting in just a few weeks,
Seva 
  
 a

confuzzled dude wrote:Time is the best medicine, heals all wounds. On bright side, you seem to be the stronger (mentally) one in your family/friends, keep it up.

thank you. I personally think my mom is rock solid. So was my dad. Together, they are the most positive people I have had in my life. If I have to chose a word for each of them, it would be strong-willed for her and optimistic for him.

Seva Lamberdar wrote:Tw, my condolences to you and other family members on the passing away of your father. May his soul Rest In Peace. 
Even though the year 2017 did not turn out good for you, hopefully the things will be better for you in the new year'18.  Wishing you a very nice and happy new year starting in just a few weeks,
Seva 
  
 a

thanks seva. wishing you a happy new year as well

Condolences on the loss of your father, TW! I hope you have a better 2018.

Idéfix wrote:Condolences on the loss of your father, TW! I hope you have a better 2018.

Thanks caru. Wishing you a happy 2018 as well

I never wore blinders to assume life is pleasant all over. Life is never the same, so there's no room to pretend and years will role by with warmth and shade. For some reason I never lived between January-December, but between seeing family and meeting with people. 2018 will be no different that 2017 with sprinkles of happiness and sadness.

In the meantime, life is short, enjoy with AM