unfair?

by Guest Fri Apr 22, 2016 7:23 pm

Reena and Gopal met in their late 20s and fell in love. By mid 30s, they had a daughter. They decided one kid was enough.

Reena was more of an intellectual. She found part time work as a substitute teacher. She was a very devoted and good mother. Her entire attention was in making sure her little angel got every exposure a growing kid can possibly get, for becoming a well rounded person.

Gopal did pretty much everything else. A full time job, cooking (she never learned how to cook), cleaning, gardening (because he loved it), and also help in raising the kid.

by their mid 40s Gopal began falling out of love with Reena. He told her a lot of times to contribute a little more. Do a little more. But Reena, when not doting upon their daughter was reading books or watching movies.

By early 50s, Gopal fell in love with a colleague who was also separated. Reena began suspecting something was on with Gopal. As a remedial step, she finally began pulling her weight around the house. Began learning to cook.

But it was too little too late. Gopal asked for a divorce. Reena managed to convince him to stay until their daughter goes to college. And go marriage counseling with her.

Suddenly being alone in early 50s... is that fair?

by seven Fri Apr 22, 2016 8:01 pm

she's a grasshopper who sang all summer.
if he died suddenly and she was left alone, i'd sympathize with her and tell you it's unfair.
what happened to her was inevitable.

by Guest Fri Apr 22, 2016 8:08 pm

yeah i am sympathizing with him too. they were virtually separated for 4-5 years, atleast in his mind. and i guess no real fault of the colleague who grabbed on to a decent catch. but not like she didn't contribute anything. she did raise a fab kid. and from the looks of it, it looked like a functional family, as she is very prim and proper. Also, in a way she was looking forward for the kid to go to college, so that they could rekindle it.

by seven Fri Apr 22, 2016 8:20 pm

i don't like people who keep being mother teresa and do all the heavy lifting only to get too tired in 50s and start acting out.
if he felt like he was doing all the work and she wasn't being a partner, he should have said something about it.
and i dont mean occasional shikayats, something audible.

so he should have given his wife tough time when she didn't help out in the kitchen or around the house. it's like saw sunaar ki (his wife, all life) and ek luhaar ki (he divorcing her). he should have told her i am falling out of love with you. you don't help me i am old and tired. HELP ME CLEAN.

by Guest Fri Apr 22, 2016 8:25 pm

seven wrote:i don't like people who keep being mother teresa and do all the heavy lifting only to get too tired in 50s and start acting out.
if he felt like he was doing all the work and she wasn't being a partner, he should have said something about it.
and i dont mean occasional shikayats, something audible.

so he should have given his wife tough time when she didn't help out in the kitchen or around the house. it's like saw sunaar ki (his wife, all life) and ek luhaar ki (he divorcing her). he should have told her i am falling out of love with you. you don't help me i am old and tired. HELP ME CLEAN.

he did. she didn't take it too seriously. he told her those words, that he was falling out of love with her.

by their mid 40s Gopal began falling out of love with Reena. He told her a lot of times to contribute a little more. Do a little more. But Reena, when not doting upon their daughter was reading books or watching movies.

My friend and i were joking. this is where arrange marriages help. love starts from a 0. can't go under that all your life.

by seven Fri Apr 22, 2016 8:28 pm

well now he can do all the cooking and cleaning for the colleague. and gardening is a dream in california Sad

it rained today what i think the last or 3rd last rain of this season.

by seven Fri Apr 22, 2016 8:29 pm

Meghna Mathur wrote:
seven wrote:i don't like people who keep being mother teresa and do all the heavy lifting only to get too tired in 50s and start acting out.
if he felt like he was doing all the work and she wasn't being a partner, he should have said something about it.
and i dont mean occasional shikayats, something audible.

so he should have given his wife tough time when she didn't help out in the kitchen or around the house. it's like saw sunaar ki (his wife, all life) and ek luhaar ki (he divorcing her). he should have told her i am falling out of love with you. you don't help me i am old and tired. HELP ME CLEAN.

he did. she didn't take it too seriously. he told her those words, that he was falling out of love with her.

by their mid 40s Gopal began falling out of love with Reena. He told her a lot of times to contribute a little more. Do a little more. But Reena, when not doting upon their daughter was reading books or watching movies.

My friend and i were joking. this is where arrange marriages help. love starts from a 0. can't go under that all your life.

zero is out of love. anything under would be hating.

by Guest Fri Apr 22, 2016 8:38 pm

we had some rain today after a hot day.

i decided to go get a facial after work. the girl there massages up my entire face real hard lol (this was my second time there). at the time i feel like i will get paralyzed. but when she puts on the pack and leaves, i literally doze off. Today I went in such a deep sleep that when she opened the door after 15 minutes, i first thought that i am in my bedroom early morning, and son or daughter is in for something. on a hard bench, and lying on my back without a pillow, it's almost impossible for me to sleep in such circumstances normally. I continued sleeping while she wiped cleaned my face. I continued sleeping when she said she will get the moisturizer and went out. I continued sleeping while she put the moisturizer on my face. Then i reluctantly got up when she asked me to change and clean my face more if i want. That's when i realized this cleanup girl was someone else!

i wish they let me sleep 30 min next time.

by Guest Fri Apr 22, 2016 9:01 pm

Meghna Mathur wrote:Reena and Gopal met in their late 20s and fell in love. By mid 30s, they had a daughter. They decided one kid was enough.

Reena was more of an intellectual. She found part time work as a substitute teacher. She was a very devoted and good mother. Her entire attention was in making sure her little angel got every exposure a growing kid can possibly get, for becoming a well rounded person.

Gopal did pretty much everything else. A full time job, cooking (she never learned how to cook), cleaning, gardening (because he loved it), and also help in raising the kid.

by their mid 40s Gopal began falling out of love with Reena. He told her a lot of times to contribute a little more. Do a little more. But Reena, when not doting upon their daughter was reading books or watching movies.

By early 50s, Gopal fell in love with a colleague who was also separated. Reena began suspecting something was on with Gopal. As a remedial step, she finally began pulling her weight around the house. Began learning to cook.

But it was too little too late. Gopal asked for a divorce. Reena managed to convince him to stay until their daughter goes to college. And go marriage counseling with her.

Suddenly being alone in early 50s... is that fair?

Oh the reason why she didn't take a full time job was so that she could be home when the kid came home. Then driving she was driving her around for different classes, games, and events.

It's just unfair why a woman is penalized for not cooking. While men have gotten away with it for generations, even when their wives too have full time jobs. She did keep the house clean and decorated as much as she could.

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Fri Apr 22, 2016 11:23 pm

Moral: don't fall in love with your wife in the first place.

And Moral 2: Men can change for the better after marriage but a woman can only change for the worse

---- Swamy Uppiliananda

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