is SUCH getting too toxic?

by confuzzled dude Wed Jan 23, 2013 8:13 pm

Yup. It's not fun watching 30,40,50 and 60 years old act like elementary school kids. Time to grow up.

by Idéfix Wed Jan 23, 2013 8:35 pm

Yes, I think it is getting too toxic. This forum has the technical capability to allow members to disregard those who they cannot get along with. I encourage members to take advantage of this feature. I have found this useful over the last few days.

by Guest Wed Jan 23, 2013 8:39 pm

you did it a multiple choice.

by Petrichor Wed Jan 23, 2013 8:41 pm

Agreed - it's not helpful to keep making the same points over and over again, ad nauseum. Intelligent repartee can only go so far, before it becomes a saw.

I think the fundamental problem is an inability on anyone's part to concede a fact when pointed out - In a forest of wrongs, it is impossible to sort out the greater wrong.

by Petrichor Wed Jan 23, 2013 8:44 pm

panini press wrote:Yes, I think it is getting too toxic. This forum has the technical capability to allow members to disregard those who they cannot get along with. I encourage members to take advantage of this feature. I have found this useful over the last few days.

Thanks!

by southindian Wed Jan 23, 2013 8:44 pm

confuzzled dude wrote:Yup. It's not fun watching 30,40,50 and 60 years old act like elementary school kids. Time to grow up.

Over the years people create bias even for a made up identity, based on language, region, eating or mating habits.

Some here are sensitive, some not and in a virtual world the real-world-composed folks love to rub it in...and smile. Smile

Also, many have grown old but not grown up.

by Idéfix Wed Jan 23, 2013 8:45 pm

atcg wrote:In a forest of wrongs, it is impossible to sort out the greater wrong.

Yes, the greater wrong always appears to be the one when one is wronged than when one has wronged.

by southindian Wed Jan 23, 2013 8:48 pm

panini press wrote:Yes, I think it is getting too toxic. This forum has the technical capability to allow members to disregard those who they cannot get along with. I encourage members to take advantage of this feature. I have found this useful over the last few days.

Taking the technical ability aside, how many people have it in them to "really disregard those they cannot get along"? None here... on this forum.

by Idéfix Wed Jan 23, 2013 8:49 pm

southindian wrote:
panini press wrote:Yes, I think it is getting too toxic. This forum has the technical capability to allow members to disregard those who they cannot get along with. I encourage members to take advantage of this feature. I have found this useful over the last few days.

Taking the technical ability aside, how many people have it in them to "really disregard those they cannot get along"? None here... on this forum.

Haha, you may be right. I am trying though. I am on the verge of adding Jeremiah Mburuburu to my ignore list. I may do it one of these days.

by Idéfix Wed Jan 23, 2013 8:53 pm

One of the unsaid factors that contributing to this toxicity is the matter of privacy. We had many discussions in this community regarding this issue in the last two years. I have articulated my thinking on the privacy policy in a new sticky thread. I welcome suggestions and critiques of this privacy policy on this thread. My goal is to make this an inclusive community where we all feel free to express our opinions without the unnecessary rancor that seems to be dominate discussions here lately.

https://such.forumotion.com/t10246-such-privacy-policy

by Impedimenta Wed Jan 23, 2013 8:55 pm

familiarity breeds contempt. in this case, the constant presence online on this forum is making things worse. really sad.

by southindian Wed Jan 23, 2013 9:01 pm

panini press wrote:
southindian wrote:
panini press wrote:Yes, I think it is getting too toxic. This forum has the technical capability to allow members to disregard those who they cannot get along with. I encourage members to take advantage of this feature. I have found this useful over the last few days.

Taking the technical ability aside, how many people have it in them to "really disregard those they cannot get along"? None here... on this forum.
Haha, you may be right. I am trying though. I am on the verge of adding Jeremiah Mburuburu to my ignore list. I may do it one of these days.

Ok, I can actually put money on this and am sure will win.

I can bet, you will not do that. The beauty of using ones username/password here is to read what other people are writing and then responding.

...and then keep coming back for more. Smile

Its vicious...

by Idéfix Wed Jan 23, 2013 9:08 pm

southindian wrote:
panini press wrote:
southindian wrote:
panini press wrote:Yes, I think it is getting too toxic. This forum has the technical capability to allow members to disregard those who they cannot get along with. I encourage members to take advantage of this feature. I have found this useful over the last few days.

Taking the technical ability aside, how many people have it in them to "really disregard those they cannot get along"? None here... on this forum.
Haha, you may be right. I am trying though. I am on the verge of adding Jeremiah Mburuburu to my ignore list. I may do it one of these days.

Ok, I can actually put money on this and am sure will win.

I can bet, you will not do that. The beauty of using ones username/password here is to read what other people are writing and then responding.

...and then keep coming back for more.

Its vicious...

LOL. Depends on how much money is at stake. I do enjoy JM's posts a litlte more, so I need to see a fairly high amount to make me put him on the ignore list.

by Guest Wed Jan 23, 2013 9:12 pm

JM did the weird today. Totally lost control. Dunno about others, but this is the first time that I witnessed it.

by Idéfix Wed Jan 23, 2013 9:15 pm

Vidya Bagchi wrote:JM did the weird today. Totally lost control. Dunno about others, but this is the first time that I witnessed it.

It was the first time for me too. I am sure many others felt the same way. Perhaps he felt slighted by the polls which said overwhelmingly that he was malicious. But it shows that there is no "floor" to how low he is willing to go.

by southindian Wed Jan 23, 2013 9:34 pm

panini press wrote:
southindian wrote:
panini press wrote:
southindian wrote:
panini press wrote:Yes, I think it is getting too toxic. This forum has the technical capability to allow members to disregard those who they cannot get along with. I encourage members to take advantage of this feature. I have found this useful over the last few days.

Taking the technical ability aside, how many people have it in them to "really disregard those they cannot get along"? None here... on this forum.
Haha, you may be right. I am trying though. I am on the verge of adding Jeremiah Mburuburu to my ignore list. I may do it one of these days.

Ok, I can actually put money on this and am sure will win.

I can bet, you will not do that. The beauty of using ones username/password here is to read what other people are writing and then responding.

...and then keep coming back for more.

Its vicious...
LOL. Depends on how much money is at stake. I do enjoy JM's posts a litlte more, so I need to see a fairly high amount to make me put him on the ignore list.

Aaha! You are putting value on JM's precious comments? eh?

by Idéfix Wed Jan 23, 2013 9:36 pm

southindian wrote:
panini press wrote:
southindian wrote:
panini press wrote:
southindian wrote:

Taking the technical ability aside, how many people have it in them to "really disregard those they cannot get along"? None here... on this forum.
Haha, you may be right. I am trying though. I am on the verge of adding Jeremiah Mburuburu to my ignore list. I may do it one of these days.

Ok, I can actually put money on this and am sure will win.

I can bet, you will not do that. The beauty of using ones username/password here is to read what other people are writing and then responding.

...and then keep coming back for more.

Its vicious...
LOL. Depends on how much money is at stake. I do enjoy JM's posts a litlte more, so I need to see a fairly high amount to make me put him on the ignore list.

Aaha! You are putting value on JM's precious comments? eh?

That is the price of materialism in our society. Nothing is above a monetary value. Not even the precious comments of a senior citizen! Kalikaalam, as we say in Telugu.

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Wed Jan 23, 2013 10:53 pm

Vidya Bagchi wrote:JM did the weird today. Totally lost control. Dunno about others, but this is the first time that I witnessed it.

In Politics and in SuCH, words come back to haunt - always.

by Kris Thu Jan 24, 2013 4:17 am

Impedimenta wrote:familiarity breeds contempt. in this case, the constant presence online on this forum is making things worse. really sad.

>>>> I voted 'yes'. I don't think it is familiarity that is the culprit. It is more the astounding aspect of highly educated adults not having the maturity to discuss things without getting personal. Some of this is inevitable- a heat of the moment thing, but prolonged threads of cheap shots and below-the-belt attacks leaves a sour taste. Sulekha in its early stages had a lot of healthy give and take, but degenerated later. Sadly, that process has accelerated in this forum, despite PP's hard work to get this thing going.

by Guest Thu Jan 24, 2013 4:26 am

Kris wrote:Sulekha in its early stages had a lot of healthy give and take, but degenerated later. Sadly, that process has accelerated in this forum, despite PP's hard work to get this thing going.

true. let us hope it is a passing phase.

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Thu Jan 24, 2013 4:29 am

Kris wrote:
Impedimenta wrote:familiarity breeds contempt. in this case, the constant presence online on this forum is making things worse. really sad.

>>>> I voted 'yes'. I don't think it is familiarity that is the culprit. It is more the astounding aspect of highly educated adults not having the maturity to discuss things without getting personal. Some of this is inevitable- a heat of the moment thing, but prolonged threads of cheap shots and below-the-belt attacks leaves a sour taste. Sulekha in its early stages had a lot of healthy give and take, but degenerated later. Sadly, that process has accelerated in this forum, despite PP's hard work to get this thing going.

I am developing a theory on this: people never really change. With education, job, and status, they are forced to develop an artificial external personality acceptable to their standing. This suppresses their real nature that they are born with, which runs counter to their public, standing/status. So given an opportunity of a "cover" they unleash their natural tendencies with natural true feelings/views. This is very similar to big CEOs are Govt officials being polite in front of camera while not hesitating to use adolescent 4-letter profanities freely off camera.

Hypothesis: All adults must play a dual personality in real life - without exception.

by Kris Thu Jan 24, 2013 4:34 am

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
Kris wrote:
Impedimenta wrote:familiarity breeds contempt. in this case, the constant presence online on this forum is making things worse. really sad.

>>>> I voted 'yes'. I don't think it is familiarity that is the culprit. It is more the astounding aspect of highly educated adults not having the maturity to discuss things without getting personal. Some of this is inevitable- a heat of the moment thing, but prolonged threads of cheap shots and below-the-belt attacks leaves a sour taste. Sulekha in its early stages had a lot of healthy give and take, but degenerated later. Sadly, that process has accelerated in this forum, despite PP's hard work to get this thing going.

I am developing a theory on this: people never really change. With education, job, and status, they are forced to develop an artificial external personality acceptable to their standing. This suppresses their real nature that they are born with, which runs counter to their public, standing/status. So given an opportunity of a "cover" they unleash their natural tendencies with natural true feelings/views. This is very similar to big CEOs are Govt officials being polite in front of camera while not hesitating to use adolescent 4-letter profanities freely off camera.

Hypothesis: All adults must play a dual personality in real life - without exception.

>>>> On a serious note, there is a scarier aspect to this, that of lack of introspection and resulting growth. I agree that this is not easy and probably not even a common urge, but I expect more when people are intelligent and have been exposed to multiple cultures.

by Kris Thu Jan 24, 2013 4:40 am

Huzefa Kapasi wrote:
Kris wrote:Sulekha in its early stages had a lot of healthy give and take, but degenerated later. Sadly, that process has accelerated in this forum, despite PP's hard work to get this thing going.
true. let us hope it is a passing phase.

>>>> I think there is. Its just there needs to be a cooling down period. This is one of the reasons I like stories like VB's and Actg's. They are a refreshing break.

by Guest Thu Jan 24, 2013 4:47 am

Kris wrote:>>>> I think there is. Its just there needs to be a cooling down period. This is one of the reasons I like stories like VB's and Actg's. They are a refreshing break.

ha ha, true. i was amused to see the burst of storytellers yesterday and had decided to devote today to reading vidya's and atcg's sagas. but the JM episode was the first thing that greeted me this morning!

by Kris Thu Jan 24, 2013 4:50 am

Huzefa Kapasi wrote:
Kris wrote:>>>> I think there is. Its just there needs to be a cooling down period. This is one of the reasons I like stories like VB's and Actg's. They are a refreshing break.
ha ha, true. i was amused to see the burst of storytellers yesterday and had decided to devote today to reading vidya's and atcg's sagas. but the JM episode was the first thing that greeted me this morning!

>>>> Well, tomorrow's another day. Good night!

by bw Thu Jan 24, 2013 6:51 am

Kris wrote:

>>>> Well, tomorrow's another day.

by Maria S Thu Jan 24, 2013 10:00 am

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
I am developing a theory on this: people never really change. With education, job, and status, they are forced to develop an artificial external personality acceptable to their standing. This suppresses their real nature that they are born with, which runs counter to their public, standing/status. So given an opportunity of a "cover" they unleash their natural tendencies with natural true feelings/views. This is very similar to big CEOs are Govt officials being polite in front of camera while not hesitating to use adolescent 4-letter profanities freely off camera.

Hypothesis: All adults must play a dual personality in real life - without exception.

Super duper Saamiyar Garu:)

Once upon a time..it may have been true that people had different personas/personalities on line..but, not anymore. People for the most part are exactly the same in real life as they are on line.

On line life may have been an escape/outlet- but, it is intertwined more and more- personally, professionally..just like the boundaries are really blurred/overlap between everything-unless you are
careful about people, it's easy to be fooled.

Speaking of boundaries, those who are obsessive and hypercritical (not to mention hypocritical)- gotchas excite them, can't let go with an aura of superiority about themselves-mean and disrespectful towards anyone "because they can" on line..you better believe it- that's part of their "real core" and am sure it manifests/emerges in their real life too- in some obvious form.

This is not a theory, it's the truth almost all the time.

by Guest Thu Jan 24, 2013 10:13 am

Maria S wrote:Once upon a time..it may have been true that people had different personas/personalities on line..but, not anymore. People for the most part are exactly the same in real life as they are on line.

On line life may have been an escape/outlet- but, it is intertwined more and more- personally, professionally..just like the boundaries are really blurred/overlap between everything-unless you are
careful about people, it's easy to be fooled.

Speaking of boundaries, those who are obsessive and hypercritical (not to mention hypocritical)- gotchas excite them, can't let go with an aura of superiority about themselves-mean and disrespectful towards anyone "because they can" on line..you better believe it- that's part of their "real core" and am sure it manifests/emerges in their real life too- in some obvious form.

This is not a theory, it's the truth almost all the time.

excellent post! agree 100%.

by Maria S Thu Jan 24, 2013 10:21 am

Thank you:)

Hope you know my thank yous and GMs are real too! Smile

I start my day sucking up to my family (say GM to them too)..and do the same from the security folks at the gates of the work places..a hundred thank yous later...end my day with have a good evening- to the cleaning crew, if I work late..and end with sucking up to family (sorrys if I fight with them that day or mess up) and end with a good night too:)

by Guest Thu Jan 24, 2013 10:23 am

ha ha ha! GM to you. Smile

by confuzzled dude Thu Jan 24, 2013 10:30 am

Kris wrote:

>>>> Well, tomorrow's another day. Good night!

more like groundhog day

by Maria S Thu Jan 24, 2013 11:26 am

HK,

Aside from the fact that this is an adorable link (imo) with Sasha and Malia with their phones like typical teenagers look at #13 and Pres. Obama..for anyone who does not think times have changed (and thinks men have changed:D!)..there he is- just being re inagurated as the leader of the free world...surrounded by some of the most rich and powerful in the world adoring him- m (b)illions watching him..as if it's not enough, he quietly takes his blackberry out..and is peeking/surfing as he is kissing his wife- posing for his children..the ultimate multitasker!

http://www.buzzfeed.com/lyapalater/23-reasons-sasha-and-malia-stole-the-inauguration

by goodcitizn Thu Jan 24, 2013 11:32 am

confuzzled dude wrote:
Kris wrote:

>>>> Well, tomorrow's another day. Good night!

more like groundhog day

No, its not. The groundhog hasn't surfaced yet.

by confuzzled dude Thu Jan 24, 2013 11:47 am

Maria S wrote:
HK,
there he is- just being re inagurated as the leader of the free world.

What the heck! Were you living in a country with authoritarian government before migrated to the US.

Maria S wrote:

he quietly takes his blackberry out..and is peeking/surfing as he is kissing his wife- posing for his children..the ultimate multitasker!

Huh!

by confuzzled dude Thu Jan 24, 2013 11:52 am

goodcitizn wrote:
confuzzled dude wrote:
Kris wrote:

>>>> Well, tomorrow's another day. Good night!

more like groundhog day

No, its not. The groundhog hasn't surfaced yet.

I see, you can't wait for it/him/she to show up Smile

by goodcitizn Thu Jan 24, 2013 11:56 am

confuzzled dude wrote:
goodcitizn wrote:
confuzzled dude wrote:
Kris wrote:

>>>> Well, tomorrow's another day. Good night!

more like groundhog day

No, its not. The groundhog hasn't surfaced yet.

I see, you can't wait for it/him/she to show up

True. We in Punxsutawney are anxiously awaiting its arrival.

by Maria S Thu Jan 24, 2013 12:04 pm

confuzzled dude wrote:
Maria S wrote:
HK,
there he is- just being re inagurated as the leader of the free world.

What the heck! Were you living in a country with authoritarian government before migrated to the US.

Maria S wrote:

he quietly takes his blackberry out..and is peeking/surfing as he is kissing his wife- posing for his children..the ultimate multitasker!

Huh!

For goodness sakes..it was obviously light-hearted comments and the man is ruled by the authoritarian women his home.

Huh what? Isn't that multitasking? Smile

Sure seems to me..he is posing, kissing, blackberrying..etc, etc.

On a serious note..in my view, there is no such thing as a free country/world. In my great State of TN, in my great home country India..they have banned the movie "Vishvaroppam" (a spy thriller with love and romance) for a few weeks..because the villain apparently has a Muslim name..go figure:) I don't know if one can call it authoritarian..it's kind of silly to me and different from insulting Almighty (as one believes), Holy Figures and Holy Scriptures, which I am sensitive (supersensitive at times) about.

by Guest Thu Jan 24, 2013 12:11 pm

Maria S wrote:HK,

Aside from the fact that this is an adorable link (imo) with Sasha and Malia with their phones like typical teenagers look at #13 and Pres. Obama..for anyone who does not think times have changed (and thinks men have changed:D!)..there he is- just being re inagurated as the leader of the free world...surrounded by some of the most rich and powerful in the world adoring him- m (b)illions watching him..as if it's not enough, he quietly takes his blackberry out..and is peeking/surfing as he is kissing his wife- posing for his children..the ultimate multitasker!

http://www.buzzfeed.com/lyapalater/23-reasons-sasha-and-malia-stole-the-inauguration

ha ha, you a certified obama groupie. i recall watching your how-obama-met-michelle sulekha blog-video and you had posted that a long time back -- perhaps right after he became prez. i like the way you watch those you admire closely and exult in their happiness. both daughters are cute -- esp. the older. wish the first family the best. i don't know much about his policies but as a human being he has come across, to me, as the most endearing head of state. he exudes honesty in his style of speaking and approach. anyway, you should wear a i-love-obama badge. oh wait, you already wear one and have such stickers on your car too!

by Guest Thu Jan 24, 2013 12:15 pm

goodcitizn wrote:
confuzzled dude wrote:
goodcitizn wrote:
confuzzled dude wrote:
Kris wrote:

>>>> Well, tomorrow's another day. Good night!

more like groundhog day

No, its not. The groundhog hasn't surfaced yet.

I see, you can't wait for it/him/she to show up

True. We in Punxsutawney are anxiously awaiting its arrival.

keep waiting. he is looking for HARYANAKASHYAPOO -- YOU!! he will appear when you least expect and he will SLAY you.

by Hellsangel Thu Jan 24, 2013 12:15 pm

goodcitizn wrote:
confuzzled dude wrote:
Kris wrote:

>>>> Well, tomorrow's another day. Good night!

more like groundhog day

No, its not. The groundhog hasn't surfaced yet.

For years the groundhog was like a prairie dog popping his head out and taunting people on Sulekha including one old man who was suffering from cancer and mocked that; all the while hiding behind his hypocrisy and anonimity, be it the fact the kids had very Hindian names or the fact that he had nothing to do with raising them. Or that his poor wife went into foreclosure probably from paying for the kids' tuition coz he contributed nothing to it. Once the old dog was exposed for the toothless hound he is, he stopped taunting people on Sulekha (probably the fact that people could edit their blog comments also helped in this regard). Having nowhere to turn, the lonely old dog finally shows up at a place administered by a person he hates very much, where most people don't think much of him as is evidenced by the latest polls. It must be really sad to be old and lonely like him hiding behind the web pretending to be the virile1 and nitpicking on people's grammar or spelling.

by Maria S Thu Jan 24, 2013 12:22 pm

Huzefa Kapasi wrote:
ha ha, you a certified obama groupie. i recall watching your how-obama-met-michelle sulekha blog-video and you had posted that a long time back -- perhaps right after he became prez. i like the way you watch those you admire closely and exult in their happiness. both daughters are cute -- esp. the older. wish the first family the best. i don't know much about his policies but as a human being he has come across, to me, as the most endearing head of state. he exudes honesty in his style of speaking and approach. anyway, you should wear a i-love-obama badge. oh wait, you already wear one and have such stickers on your car too!

You are right 100% + 100:)

*Although I am a loyalist, as I am with others will certainly question his policies- and expect more from him as the President and as a person.

by Guest Thu Jan 24, 2013 12:29 pm

Hellsangel wrote:taunting people on Sulekha including one old man who was suffering from cancer and mocked that

sick. is this the hyderabadi gent who sablu had met?

by Hellsangel Thu Jan 24, 2013 12:33 pm

Huzefa Kapasi wrote:
Hellsangel wrote:taunting people on Sulekha including one old man who was suffering from cancer and mocked that
sick. is this the hyderabadi gent who sablu had met?

Yep.

by confuzzled dude Thu Jan 24, 2013 12:53 pm

[quote="Maria S"][quote="confuzzled dude"]

Maria S wrote:

For goodness sakes..it was obviously light-hearted comments and the man is ruled by the authoritarian women his home.

Huh what? Isn't that multitasking? Sure seems to me..he is posing, kissing, blackberrying..etc, etc.

On a serious note..in my view, there is no such thing as a free country/world. In my great State of TN, in my great home country India..they have banned the movie "Vishvaroppam" (a spy thriller with love and romance) for a few weeks..because the villain apparently has a Muslim name..go figure:) I don't know if one can call it authoritarian..it's kind of silly to me and different from insulting Almighty (as one believes), Holy Figures and Holy Scriptures, which I am sensitive (supersensitive at times) about.

oh! OK, I misread your comments then, Sorry. I can understand if a person from China feels liberated in the US but couldn't fathom a PIO, especially born in post-independence era, expressing similar views. For all its flaws, India still is a free country (this is not in response to your comment on Kamal's new movie).

by Idéfix Thu Jan 24, 2013 1:04 pm

Hellsangel wrote:
Huzefa Kapasi wrote:
Hellsangel wrote:taunting people on Sulekha including one old man who was suffering from cancer and mocked that
sick. is this the hyderabadi gent who sablu had met?
Yep.

Mocking a person about their cancer? Unbelievable. How long ago was this?

by Hellsangel Thu Jan 24, 2013 1:05 pm

panini press wrote:
Hellsangel wrote:
Huzefa Kapasi wrote:
Hellsangel wrote:taunting people on Sulekha including one old man who was suffering from cancer and mocked that
sick. is this the hyderabadi gent who sablu had met?
Yep.
Mocking a person about their cancer? Unbelievable. How long ago was this?

Shall we search?

by Jeremiah Mburuburu Thu Jan 24, 2013 1:05 pm

confuzzled dude wrote:Yup. It's not fun watching 30,40,50 and 60 years old act like elementary school kids. Time to grow up.

you should have watched charvaka, huzefa, bw, and merlot at chat. (suchat is closely associated with this forum.) they acted like twelve-year-olds, forming a verbally disruptive team, with each repeating whatever i said, literally, many times over. there was nothing informative, interesting, or humorous about their words; they were merely disruptive and uncivil. for me, it was a revealing and interesting experience. yes, suCH was toxic from the beginning, and at the centre of that toxicity is charvaka.

by Guest Thu Jan 24, 2013 1:07 pm

Kris wrote: This is one of the reasons I like stories like VB's and Actg's. They are a refreshing break.

I agree with you a 100%, Kris.

by Guest Thu Jan 24, 2013 1:09 pm

kinnera wrote:
Kris wrote: This is one of the reasons I like stories like VB's and Actg's. They are a refreshing break.

I agree with you a 100%, Kris.

so much love! will you invite him to chat next kinnu?

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is this place getting too toxic?