Question for Facebook experts

I haven't been active on Facebook in a long, long time. But I do have the Facebook app on my Android phone. A couple of days ago, I got a notification on my phone saying so-and-so had added me as a friend. I did not recognize the name of the person. And the app did not give me a choice to approve the person as a friend. Today I checked the list of my friends on Facebook, and I don't see that person's name there. I am wondering whether this is a bug, or if it is some kind of security breach. If this person has friend-level access to my profile, I want to remove that. Any ideas?

When you click on Find Friends you would see pending invites...you can continue to choose to ignore or confirm at that point.

atcg wrote:When you click on Find Friends you would see pending invites...you can continue to choose to ignore or confirm at that point.

Thanks. I don't see a pending invite from that name! Very strange.

sounds like security breach specific to the android app. fb's ways are mysterious...another thing you can do, if you remember that name, is to search and visit that person's fb page and see if there is checkmark next to the Friends button at the top.

compulsiveness and loose ends are forever in conflict and truly markers of the modern human condition. and while we are at it...ian fleming (was it?) who said

first time is happenstance
second time is coincidence
third time is enemy action

i had a malware alert this morning on such.forumotion.com; some trojans attempted to invade and some netseer files were quarantined...we live in a world full of ambiguity - trying to distinguish between full scale paranoia and garden variety 'happenstance' threats.

That's a useful suggestion. I checked the profiles of all people with that name, and none of them show up as my friends. (The "Add Friend" button is active on all their profiles.) So I guess I am ok on this one and will treat it as happenstance.

Forumotion sending trojans sounds really weird. Let me check with the site admins.

I am not a Facebook expert..but do get requests all the time.
*If I don't want to accept the requests, will send a private message (if I want to know who it is) or will simply go to the person's page- click on "Friends" (with a check) on top and unfriend them, it's quite simple.

I do wonder about this:

http://news.yahoo.com/facebook-death-172350356.html

It's eerie to visit the pages of friends who have passed away- on line friends too.

Carvaka, if it happens here, are there any policies related to that in this forum?
Who has to send a request to delete my posts? Do I add that in my will:)

That's a tough one. I don't know if Forumotion has a policy about this. Need to look into that.

And it is a serious inquiry..don't think there is any urgency for me to find out (!), take your time..but, would like to know.

Thank you.

this is an interesting philosophical question maria. i understand visiting pages of friends dead can be slightly traumatic. has happened to me -- i mean i did not die but found that an e-friend had died. but, nothing matters after you are dead i guess.

I have a friend on my fb list who is no more...the family members sometimes post nostalgic brief thoughts on her wall - it does spook me when I get birthday and anniversary reminders about her on fb. I do look back on my timeline and see her comments to some of my posts - keeps the person in our thoughts - augmented post-mortem presence.

I can see how in a generation, our spirits will continue to haunt the fb, twitter and such (!); digital archaelogy would be a major, and online genealogy might be offered at specialized boutiques.

atcg wrote:it does spook me when I get birthday and anniversary reminders about her on fb.

that IS spooky. now that i've been reminded, i know a couple of e-friends who have died. one of them was an admin in a depresion forum i am active in. he was in his late 60s and then he suddenly stopped posting a few years ago -- highly unusual. the only logical conclusion was that he had died. the guy had a fish, an animation of a swimming fish, in his avatar and i get filled with grief every time i see that fish still swimming and i am reminded of our exchanges. the guy was a doctor -- pretty qualified and knowledgeable therefore. anyhow, my wife lurks here and once i leave such for a heavenly abode, she will be the first to inform you guys that you all can rest in peace. i can only promise you that i will die; i can't guarantee it!

Huzefa Kapasi wrote:this is an interesting philosophical question maria. i understand visiting pages of friends dead can be slightly traumatic. has happened to me -- i mean i did not die but found that an e-friend had died. but, nothing matters after you are dead i guess.

HK,
I have lost many e-friends- just as in real life friends, and as time goes by, it's only going to be more. It's not just philosophical..it's very much part of (my) reality!
My e-life is not limited to Sulekha or SUCH (!) and of course, some e-friends are more special than others to us and there is always a void-sense of loss. And the lines often blur..so people let me know about the passing of friends-their family members..I have been called upon to offer some encouragement, sometimes eulogies..and I take it as a serious responsibility (*because their loved ones and many others will read it- and I have to be careful about what I say).
Just as an example, you may have read this:
http://creative.sulekha.com/in-memoriam-to-a-dear-sulekha-friend-blogger-dr-baab-mallya_538354_blog


I did not know this will get attention> ...once he said something about having 'ice cream' with me, and it was like manna from heaven for a "distinguished" Sulekhalite(is it hard to guess?)..who was pathetically envious..and started saying some nonsense.
Dr. Mallya was always a gentleman in his interactions directly with me..so worried that it was hurtful to me..he apologized profusely in a note- for even being part of what he thought was harmless fun..and for bringing unwanted attention/nonsense- he invited me and my family to visit him and his family.

When he passed away..a dear Sulekha friend immediately notified me and said that it would be a nice gesture for me to write something about him and many can pay tribute. As in real life..I wrote to his real friend for 30 years Ixedoc (Dr. Kumar)..expressed my condolences and asked him it was appropriate/okay to do that (because he may want to write first)..he was gracious- deferred and whole heartedly..encouraged me to do it as soon as possible.. and I came up with what I could.
I recieved so many notes from people who knew him- there were two which were memorable..1) from the daughter of his friend in Canada..who knew him as "Uncle Baab"..growing up..and she was pleasantly surprised that he was a writer 2) from one of Dr. Mallya's daughters..who thanked me for the tribute..and said her father would have enjoyed reading it!

There are many similar stories..I hope I don't have to write too many eulogies, but that's part of life. I also don't wait for people to pass- before I say nice things! Try to do it as much as possible- when they are alive and around (think that must be obvious!)

yes maria. i remember dr. mallya, ixedoc and your blog post. i remember the ice cream episode too. it is very nice you wrote an eulogy. you did a good thing. i don't want anyone to write one for me. but i want folks to know that i have passed away and not just stopped posting for reason unknown. it is not a priority, hardly, but as a living person i would like to know if my friends are still alive.

sorry, all this death talk is freaking me out. Someone in close extended family passed away 3 days ago, and I am still getting over it, specially after I was given a full account of the funeral homes here.

Also, yesterday when I was driving home, just as I approached a railway crossing, its lights began flashing, or maybe they were already flashing, and I noticed only when I got close. I was in my daze. Forgot that most crossings here don't have closed gates. So I thought, let me cross before the gates go down. Except that there were no gates to be closed down. When I was crossing, I looked to my left and saw the flashing train lights. Of course, I also knew that such goods trains are made to go extremely slow when crossing towns with no gates. But still, it sent all kinds of flashes through me. At the next stop light, I counted seconds before the train actually passed. A good 50 seconds. But still, what if I had come there that much later and tried crossing anyway. In my mind, I could imagine my car and me getting dragged by that train. If you are a single parent, such instances can shake your core much more.

Huzefa Kapasi wrote:yes maria. i remember dr. mallya, ixedoc and your blog post. i remember the ice cream episode too. it is very nice you wrote an eulogy. you did a good thing. i don't want anyone to write one for me. but i want folks to know that i have passed away and not just stopped posting for reason unknown. it is not a priority, hardly, but as a living person i would like to know if my friends are still alive.

Thanks HK.
I feel the same-NO eulogies for me. And say nice things/do nice things for me, if you want to- when am alive.