pravalika nanda wrote:http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2015/08/tinder-hook-up-culture-end-of-dating

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:

pravalika nanda wrote:http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2015/08/tinder-hook-up-culture-end-of-dating

So what is your choice ? OKCupid, Happn, Hinge or Tinder?

So which Naarthie is paying your Tinder Coupons? Is he a fitness guy, a pot bellied banker or a gray-beard Punju IT?...

P.S. I noticed there was not a single line about the disease potential - when the guys are tindering 4 and 5 girls simultaneously and scoring 100 girls a year....By the time they marry, they all will be carrying warts and whatnot.

Kris wrote:

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:

pravalika nanda wrote:http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2015/08/tinder-hook-up-culture-end-of-dating

So what is your choice ? OKCupid, Happn, Hinge or Tinder?

So which Naarthie is paying your Tinder Coupons? Is he a fitness guy, a pot bellied banker or a gray-beard Punju IT?...

P.S. I noticed there was not a single line about the disease potential - when the guys are tindering 4 and 5 girls simultaneously and scoring 100 girls a year....By the time they marry, they all will be carrying warts and whatnot.

>>>And you wonder which self-respecting person will marry them, what kind of homes they will create and what kind of children they are going to raise.. Heaven help them.

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:

Kris wrote:

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:

pravalika nanda wrote:http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2015/08/tinder-hook-up-culture-end-of-dating

So what is your choice ? OKCupid, Happn, Hinge or Tinder?

So which Naarthie is paying your Tinder Coupons? Is he a fitness guy, a pot bellied banker or a gray-beard Punju IT?...

P.S. I noticed there was not a single line about the disease potential - when the guys are tinderming 4 and 5 girls simultaneously and scoring 100 girls a year....By the time they marry, they all will be carrying warts and whatnot.

>>>And you wonder which self-respecting person will marry them, what kind of homes they will create and what kind of children they are going to raise.. Heaven help them.

obviously they are indeed getting married. it is now "accepted" that young kids will be "like that" only. And notice that these are all mostly educated and earning well.

- into - is +

swapna wrote:

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:

Kris wrote:

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:

pravalika nanda wrote:http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2015/08/tinder-hook-up-culture-end-of-dating

So what is your choice ? OKCupid, Happn, Hinge or Tinder?

So which Naarthie is paying your Tinder Coupons? Is he a fitness guy, a pot bellied banker or a gray-beard Punju IT?...

P.S. I noticed there was not a single line about the disease potential - when the guys are tinderming 4 and 5 girls simultaneously and scoring 100 girls a year....By the time they marry, they all will be carrying warts and whatnot.

>>>And you wonder which self-respecting person will marry them, what kind of homes they will create and what kind of children they are going to raise.. Heaven help them.

obviously they are indeed getting married. it is now "accepted" that young kids will be "like that" only. And notice that these are all mostly educated and earning well.

- into - is +

"into?"

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:

swapna wrote:

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:

Kris wrote:

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:

So what is your choice ? OKCupid, Happn, Hinge or Tinder?

So which Naarthie is paying your Tinder Coupons? Is he a fitness guy, a pot bellied banker or a gray-beard Punju IT?...

P.S. I noticed there was not a single line about the disease potential - when the guys are tinderming 4 and 5 girls simultaneously and scoring 100 girls a year....By the time they marry, they all will be carrying warts and whatnot.

>>>And you wonder which self-respecting person will marry them, what kind of homes they will create and what kind of children they are going to raise.. Heaven help them.

obviously they are indeed getting married. it is now "accepted" that young kids will be "like that" only. And notice that these are all mostly educated and earning well.

- into - is +

"into?"

a male with a - character "into" a woman with a -character becomes a +.

P.S. That is why I say that you are mega deficient in "Interpretation Science"

MaxEntropy_Man wrote:https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2015/08/26/hookup-culture-isnt-the-problem-facing-singles-today-its-math/

Propagandhi711 wrote:great article, exposes the hypocrisy of women in an unintended way

pravalika nanda wrote:

Propagandhi711 wrote:great article, exposes the hypocrisy of women in an unintended way

can you elaborate?

seven wrote:this is so sad
they will not experience love and heart breaks </3

10 years from now, these guys will be bunch of 40 year olds, still single and now competing with the new batch of guys. they wont even realize what hit them. 

girls interested in serious relationships should move to SF b-)

southindian wrote:

seven wrote:this is so sad
they will not experience love and heart breaks </3

10 years from now, these guys will be bunch of 40 year olds, still single and now competing with the new batch of guys. they wont even realize what hit them. 

girls interested in serious relationships should move to SF b-)

SuCH maybe!!!??

MaxEntropy_Man wrote:https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2015/08/26/hookup-culture-isnt-the-problem-facing-singles-today-its-math/

Beatrix Kiddo wrote:pn, dating anyone interesting lately?

seven wrote:this is so sad
they will not experience love and heart breaks </3

10 years from now, these guys will be bunch of 40 year olds, still single and now competing with the new batch of guys. they wont even realize what hit them. 

girls interested in serious relationships should move to SF b-)

pravalika nanda wrote:

Beatrix Kiddo wrote:pn, dating anyone interesting lately?

no. given that i'm young, attractive, healthy and make more than most indina men 

>>>Are you counting men in India or US- based Indian males? If it is the latter, there is a sizable segment that makes quite a bit of money, unless the stats are skewed in your geographic proximity.

my days and years will be filled with my work, my siblings and their families, my parents, my friends, my colleagues and students, and exploring new things and taking on new challenges, swimming, spa, gymming, gardening and music.

>>>Please don't convince yourself of this.

pravalika nanda wrote:not to worry, baby doll, i will get laid.

pravalika nanda wrote:not to worry, baby doll, i will get laid.

pravalika nanda wrote:

Beatrix Kiddo wrote:pn, dating anyone interesting lately?

no. given that i'm young, attractive, healthy and make more than most indina men and have had an urban upbringing and a progressive, liberal outlook it is quite likely that i will be dating less and less and eventually end up unmarried but fairly content with life anyway.

my days and years will be filled with my work, my siblings and their families, my parents, my friends, my colleagues and students, and exploring new things and taking on new challenges, swimming, spa, gymming, gardening and music.

pravalika nanda wrote:

MaxEntropy_Man wrote:https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2015/08/26/hookup-culture-isnt-the-problem-facing-singles-today-its-math/

thanks for the article. i finally read it.
the questions are:
why are men lagging behind in education?
are these under-educated men who are happy to marry highly-paid women willing to help out doing basic chores at home? being the homemakers?
some time back i read articles on this - marrying men who make less or men who are short - i was told that based on research these type of men tend to adhere gender stereotypes. the shorter they are and the tinier their self-esteem, the more they got to lord it over the woman, even when she is working hard at her job.
in my observation if that person is also raised in a conservative country like india, in a non-cosmoplitan / non-urban part of it, the situation is worse.
based on the above, i have crossed out all short and tall indina men making less than me and who claim to be moderate in their personal values (i have leanred that by "moderate" they mean they have never been kissed but might try it sometime after the wedding) who were brought up in an non-cosmpolitan environment.
propa talks about the hypocrisy of women when in actuality about one out of every two men use women to scale the social and economic ladder. terribly commonplace.

swapna wrote:

pravalika nanda wrote:

Beatrix Kiddo wrote:pn, dating anyone interesting lately?

no. given that i'm young, attractive, healthy and make more than most indina men and have had an urban upbringing and a progressive, liberal outlook it is quite likely that i will be dating less and less and eventually end up unmarried but fairly content with life anyway.

my days and years will be filled with my work, my siblings and their families, my parents, my friends, my colleagues and students, and exploring new things and taking on new challenges, swimming, spa, gymming, gardening and music.

I don't believe much of what you're saying. 

it must be true that you're earning more than you used to, probably because you've completed your internship, but it's likely that numerous men and women earn more than you do, but even that is not quite relevant.

if I were about your age, I wouldn't want to "date" - that word is outdated - or know you. it's extremely rare for an indian's upbringing to be liberal or progressive, especially if his/her parents left india decades ago. 

Kris wrote:

pravalika nanda wrote:

Beatrix Kiddo wrote:pn, dating anyone interesting lately?

no. given that i'm young, attractive, healthy and make more than most indina men 

>>>Are you counting men in India or US- based Indian males? If it is the latter, there is a sizable segment that makes quite a bit of money, unless the stats are skewed in your geographic proximity.

my days and years will be filled with my work, my siblings and their families, my parents, my friends, my colleagues and students, and exploring new things and taking on new challenges, swimming, spa, gymming, gardening and music.

>>>Please don't convince yourself of this.

.

Kris wrote:

pravalika nanda wrote:not to worry, baby doll, i will get laid.

>>>Who is this baby doll and why would that doll be worried about this?

Propagandhi711 wrote:

pravalika nanda wrote:

MaxEntropy_Man wrote:https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2015/08/26/hookup-culture-isnt-the-problem-facing-singles-today-its-math/

thanks for the article. i finally read it.
the questions are:
why are men lagging behind in education?
are these under-educated men who are happy to marry highly-paid women willing to help out doing basic chores at home? being the homemakers?
some time back i read articles on this - marrying men who make less or men who are short - i was told that based on research these type of men tend to adhere gender stereotypes. the shorter they are and the tinier their self-esteem, the more they got to lord it over the woman, even when she is working hard at her job.
in my observation if that person is also raised in a conservative country like india, in a non-cosmoplitan / non-urban part of it, the situation is worse.
based on the above, i have crossed out all short and tall indina men making less than me and who claim to be moderate in their personal values (i have leanred that by "moderate" they mean they have never been kissed but might try it sometime after the wedding) who were brought up in an non-cosmpolitan environment.
propa talks about the hypocrisy of women when in actuality about one out of every two men use women to scale the social and economic ladder. terribly commonplace.

you gotta have your head so deep up your ass to make a patently false statement like that. the exact opposite is true

swapna wrote:

pravalika nanda wrote:

Beatrix Kiddo wrote:pn, dating anyone interesting lately?

no. given that i'm young, attractive, healthy and make more than most indina men and have had an urban upbringing and a progressive, liberal outlook it is quite likely that i will be dating less and less and eventually end up unmarried but fairly content with life anyway.

my days and years will be filled with my work, my siblings and their families, my parents, my friends, my colleagues and students, and exploring new things and taking on new challenges, swimming, spa, gymming, gardening and music.

I don't believe much of what you're saying. 

it must be true that you're earning more than you used to, probably because you've completed your internship, but it's likely that numerous men and women earn more than you do, but even that is not quite relevant.

if I were about your age, I wouldn't want to "date" - that word is outdated - or know you.
** I don't believe you.

it's extremely rare for an indian's upbringing to be liberal or progressive, especially if his/her parents left india decades ago. 

furthermore, you are much too anxious about "dating," men, sex, money, what you are, and the kind of superficial life you want to lead.

pravalika nanda wrote:

Propagandhi711 wrote:

you gotta have your head so deep up your ass to make a patently false statement like that. the exact opposite is true

** what do you have to say about the dowry system? the woman pays a large sum to the man she is married to, usually decades of her father's savings and even after that provides services such as sex, housekeeping, cooking, socializing, companionship, cheerleading, childbearing etc to the husband. i would say that a woman provides about 90000 dollars worth of service to her husband each year. if the woman also works that number goes up of course.

Kris wrote:

pravalika nanda wrote:

Beatrix Kiddo wrote:pn, dating anyone interesting lately?

no. given that i'm young, attractive, healthy and make more than most indian men 

>>>Are you counting men in India or US- based Indian males? If it is the latter, there is a sizable segment that makes quite a bit of money, unless the stats are skewed in your geographic proximity.
** i have spoken to a few who make 600K or more, they're more primitive than chimps in theri thinking and so fail to meet my criteria. also they're on the west coast. men my age in the east coast don't make as much as they do. and i don't have to marry for money or pedigree. i just have to marry someone i like and am compatible with. i make enough to have that kind of freedom.
** why would i count indian men?they're not part of the picture.

my days and years will be filled with my work, my siblings and their families, my parents, my friends, my colleagues and students, and exploring new things and taking on new challenges, swimming, spa, gymming, gardening and music.

>>>Please don't convince yourself of this.

** no i am fairly resigned to these possibilities and moreover i am curious to see how i will evolve left to my own devices, without the distractions of a husband, children and housework and the consequences of chilbirth on my body. i suspect that marriage and children are over-rated. there are so many things in life that matter, not just those.

.

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:

pravalika nanda wrote:

Propagandhi711 wrote:

you gotta have your head so deep up your ass to make a patently false statement like that. the exact opposite is true

** what do you have to say about the dowry system? the woman pays a large sum to the man she is married to, usually decades of her father's savings and even after that provides services such as sex, housekeeping, cooking, socializing, companionship, cheerleading, childbearing etc to the husband. i would say that a woman provides about 90000 dollars worth of service to her husband each year. if the woman also works that number goes up of course.

Hellooooooo...this is 2015....not 1955.

yes, and indinas are still taking dowry and telling thier wives what to do.

pravalika nanda wrote:

Kris wrote:

pravalika nanda wrote:

Beatrix Kiddo wrote:pn, dating anyone interesting lately?

no. given that i'm young, attractive, healthy and make more than most indian men 

>>>Are you counting men in India or US- based Indian males? If it is the latter, there is a sizable segment that makes quite a bit of money, unless the stats are skewed in your geographic proximity.
** i have spoken to a few who make 600K or more, they're more primitive than chimps in theri thinking and so fail to meet my criteria. also they're on the west coast. men my age in the east coast don't make as much as they do. and i don't have to marry for money or pedigree. i just have to marry someone i like and am compatible with. i make enough to have that kind of freedom.
** why would i count indian men?they're not part of the picture.

my days and years will be filled with my work, my siblings and their families, my parents, my friends, my colleagues and students, and exploring new things and taking on new challenges, swimming, spa, gymming, gardening and music.

>>>Please don't convince yourself of this.

** no i am fairly resigned to these possibilities and moreover i am curious to see how i will evolve left to my own devices, without the distractions of a husband, children and housework and the consequences of chilbirth on my body. i suspect that marriage and children are over-rated. there are so many things in life that matter, not just those.

.

pravalika nanda wrote:

Kris wrote:

pravalika nanda wrote:not to worry, baby doll, i will get laid.

>>>Who is this baby doll and why would that doll be worried about this?

oh that was for beatrix.

pravalika nanda wrote:

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:

pravalika nanda wrote:

Propagandhi711 wrote:

you gotta have your head so deep up your ass to make a patently false statement like that. the exact opposite is true

** what do you have to say about the dowry system? the woman pays a large sum to the man she is married to, usually decades of her father's savings and even after that provides services such as sex, housekeeping, cooking, socializing, companionship, cheerleading, childbearing etc to the husband. i would say that a woman provides about 90000 dollars worth of service to her husband each year. if the woman also works that number goes up of course.

Hellooooooo...this is 2015....not 1955.

yes, and indinas are still taking dowry and telling thier wives what to do.

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:

pravalika nanda wrote:

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:

pravalika nanda wrote:

Propagandhi711 wrote:

you gotta have your head so deep up your ass to make a patently false statement like that. the exact opposite is true

** what do you have to say about the dowry system? the woman pays a large sum to the man she is married to, usually decades of her father's savings and even after that provides services such as sex, housekeeping, cooking, socializing, companionship, cheerleading, childbearing etc to the husband. i would say that a woman provides about 90000 dollars worth of service to her husband each year. if the woman also works that number goes up of course.

Hellooooooo...this is 2015....not 1955.

yes, and indinas are still taking dowry and telling thier wives what to do.

Are you saying wives dont tell their husbands what to do or dont take/charge their husbands credit cards?

Kris wrote:

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:

pravalika nanda wrote:

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:

pravalika nanda wrote:
** what do you have to say about the dowry system? the woman pays a large sum to the man she is married to, usually decades of her father's savings and even after that provides services such as sex, housekeeping, cooking, socializing, companionship, cheerleading, childbearing etc to the husband. i would say that a woman provides about 90000 dollars worth of service to her husband each year. if the woman also works that number goes up of course.

Hellooooooo...this is 2015....not 1955.

yes, and indinas are still taking dowry and telling thier wives what to do.

Are you saying wives dont tell their husbands what to do or dont take/charge their husbands credit cards?

>>>PN's knowledge is theory-based from outdated books. She is not married and hence the misperception.

Kris wrote:

pravalika nanda wrote:

Kris wrote:

pravalika nanda wrote:

Beatrix Kiddo wrote:pn, dating anyone interesting lately?

no. given that i'm young, attractive, healthy and make more than most indian men 

>>>Are you counting men in India or US- based Indian males? If it is the latter, there is a sizable segment that makes quite a bit of money, unless the stats are skewed in your geographic proximity.
** i have spoken to a few who make 600K or more, they're more primitive than chimps in theri thinking and so fail to meet my criteria. also they're on the west coast. men my age in the east coast don't make as much as they do. and i don't have to marry for money or pedigree. i just have to marry someone i like and am compatible with. i make enough to have that kind of freedom.
** why would i count indian men?they're not part of the picture.

my days and years will be filled with my work, my siblings and their families, my parents, my friends, my colleagues and students, and exploring new things and taking on new challenges, swimming, spa, gymming, gardening and music.

>>>Please don't convince yourself of this.

** no i am fairly resigned to these possibilities and moreover i am curious to see how i will evolve left to my own devices, without the distractions of a husband, children and housework and the consequences of chilbirth on my body. i suspect that marriage and children are over-rated. there are so many things in life that matter, not just those.

.

>>>Oh, it is obviously your prerogative to opt for non-chimpish or non-Indian men . I was just asking about the "most Indian men making less money" part. I think you are in your early thirties and the Indian male population in this country in that age bracket is heavily skewed toward having a tech professional background. Their earnings are not exactly shabby from what I know.

** oh, how much do they make on average?

Propagandhi711 wrote:

Kris wrote:

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:

pravalika nanda wrote:

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:

Hellooooooo...this is 2015....not 1955.

yes, and indinas are still taking dowry and telling thier wives what to do.

Are you saying wives dont tell their husbands what to do or dont take/charge their husbands credit cards?

>>>PN's knowledge is theory-based from outdated books. She is not married and hence the misperception.

PN's knowledge is based on visions she has once in a while when she has high fever and hallucinating

pravalika nanda wrote:

Kris wrote:

pravalika nanda wrote:

Kris wrote:

pravalika nanda wrote:
no. given that i'm young, attractive, healthy and make more than most indian men 

>>>Are you counting men in India or US- based Indian males? If it is the latter, there is a sizable segment that makes quite a bit of money, unless the stats are skewed in your geographic proximity.
** i have spoken to a few who make 600K or more, they're more primitive than chimps in theri thinking and so fail to meet my criteria. also they're on the west coast. men my age in the east coast don't make as much as they do. and i don't have to marry for money or pedigree. i just have to marry someone i like and am compatible with. i make enough to have that kind of freedom.
** why would i count indian men?they're not part of the picture.

my days and years will be filled with my work, my siblings and their families, my parents, my friends, my colleagues and students, and exploring new things and taking on new challenges, swimming, spa, gymming, gardening and music.

>>>Please don't convince yourself of this.

** no i am fairly resigned to these possibilities and moreover i am curious to see how i will evolve left to my own devices, without the distractions of a husband, children and housework and the consequences of chilbirth on my body. i suspect that marriage and children are over-rated. there are so many things in life that matter, not just those.

.

>>>Oh, it is obviously your prerogative to opt for non-chimpish or non-Indian men . I was just asking about the "most Indian men making less money" part. I think you are in your early thirties and the Indian male population in this country in that age bracket is heavily skewed toward having a tech professional background. Their earnings are not exactly shabby from what I know.

** oh, how much do they make on average?

Kris wrote:

pravalika nanda wrote:

Kris wrote:

pravalika nanda wrote:

Kris wrote:
.

>>>Oh, it is obviously your prerogative to opt for non-chimpish or non-Indian men . I was just asking about the "most Indian men making less money" part. I think you are in your early thirties and the Indian male population in this country in that age bracket is heavily skewed toward having a tech professional background. Their earnings are not exactly shabby from what I know.

** oh, how much do they make on average?

>>>PN, For specifics, check with some techies you know, especially ones who have independent contracts.

Kinnera wrote:Pravu, I do notice that desi girls of your generation have/had a tough time getting married. We had a few frustrated single desi (ABCD)girls in Sulekha a few years ago. I hope they're all married and settled now. Endukala?
** i don't know, i'm quite content to be single. only two days before my egg goes dead i might feel bad, but that's hormonal not cognitive.
Is it because of the scarcity of Indian american men in your age group?
** not at all, they're a dime a dozen.
Have you considered the option of finding the suitable ones from India; doctors, techies and all?
**why would i marry someone from india????? that's so freaking weird!

pravalika nanda wrote:

Kris wrote:

pravalika nanda wrote:

Kris wrote:

pravalika nanda wrote:

>>>Oh, it is obviously your prerogative to opt for non-chimpish or non-Indian men . I was just asking about the "most Indian men making less money" part. I think you are in your early thirties and the Indian male population in this country in that age bracket is heavily skewed toward having a tech professional background. Their earnings are not exactly shabby from what I know.

** oh, how much do they make on average?

>>>PN, For specifics, check with some techies you know, especially ones who have independent contracts.

** no, i was actually more curious to know what you think they make cuz you already seem to have an idea.

pravalika nanda wrote:

Kinnera wrote:Pravu, I do notice that desi girls of your generation have/had a tough time getting married. We had a few frustrated single desi (ABCD)girls in Sulekha a few years ago. I hope they're all married and settled now. Endukala?
** i don't know, i'm quite content to be single. only two days before my egg goes dead i might feel bad, but that's hormonal not cognitive.
Is it because of the scarcity of Indian american men in your age group?
** not at all, they're a dime a dozen.
Have you considered the option of finding the suitable ones from India; doctors, techies and all?
**why would i marry someone from india????? that's so freaking weird!

Kinnera wrote:

pravalika nanda wrote:

Kinnera wrote:Pravu, I do notice that desi girls of your generation have/had a tough time getting married. We had a few frustrated single desi (ABCD)girls in Sulekha a few years ago. I hope they're all married and settled now. Endukala?
** i don't know, i'm quite content to be single. only two days before my egg goes dead i might feel bad, but that's hormonal not cognitive.
Is it because of the scarcity of Indian american men in your age group?
** not at all, they're a dime a dozen.
Have you considered the option of finding the suitable ones from India; doctors, techies and all?
**why would i marry someone from india????? that's so freaking weird!

1. Why not? 2. Why?

Kinnera wrote:Pravu, I do notice that desi girls of your generation have/had a tough time getting married. We had a few frustrated single desi (ABCD)girls in Sulekha a few years ago. I hope they're all married and settled now. Endukala? Is it because of the scarcity of Indian american men in your age group? Have you considered the option of finding the suitable ones from India; doctors, techies and all?

pravalika nanda wrote:

Kinnera wrote:

pravalika nanda wrote:

Kinnera wrote:Pravu, I do notice that desi girls of your generation have/had a tough time getting married. We had a few frustrated single desi (ABCD)girls in Sulekha a few years ago. I hope they're all married and settled now. Endukala?
** i don't know, i'm quite content to be single. only two days before my egg goes dead i might feel bad, but that's hormonal not cognitive.
Is it because of the scarcity of Indian american men in your age group?
** not at all, they're a dime a dozen.
Have you considered the option of finding the suitable ones from India; doctors, techies and all?
**why would i marry someone from india????? that's so freaking weird!

1. Why not? 2. Why?

it is not possible for me to get to know a guy from india due to the distance and differing time zones. from a security perspective i would not be able to verify his education, financial situatioon, exposure to STDs, or if he has had previous marriage or divorces, and if he has the capacity to get a job in the united states. i mean really kinnera, this is such a bullshit idea. i have no reason to marry some random guy from india even if he was a suitable guy and had all the looks and money in the world. my mind does not work that way. and why should i marry at all???? there's nothing wrong with being single other than that it  makes everyone else uncomfortable.