lorry
+2
Rishi
Merlot Daruwala
6 posters
Page 1 of 1
lorry
ok, my promised first post. i posted this to old ch in 1999. reproduced.
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ha ha. The trouble is that while these lorries speak english, they don't understand english themselves. How many times have I horned at these lorries from the rear... backside that is... with no response? The lorry keeps trundling well below its 40 kmph speed (which, again, is also proudly declared on it's dala as it's max. speed) and after prolonged horning, the only respone I can get from the lorry driver is a vague twiddling of his signal stick (you know those arrows like >----> weather cocks they have near the window for signaling turns?). Now what the hell does this twiddling mean for all I had wanted was a pass? I horn more passionately. The fella doesn't have a horn of his own I realize for surely he would at least have responded to my horning like whales do at sea. I don't care for a pass now for I only want him to acknowledge that I exist. I want him to horn: yes, yes, yes, I have heard you! Suddenly the driver takes out one of those wind horns that you pump with your fist and his khalasi places it on his window and starts pumping. I realize that he's horning the lorry ahead of him! Shit, I'm in a queue on NH6. And the horn ripples ahead, lorry to lorry and ocassionally an air horn shrieks through the evening darkness. I look back wondering if I can make an escape. And I am staring down the throat of a rather sedate looking lorry touching my bumper. On it's forehead is written, 'Public Carrier'. But there isn't any public inside the lorry - there is only a vestless sardarji scratching his beard, a hand on wheel, and his khalasi fiddling with a kerosene stove inside, getting ready for dinner in a short while. I am screwed. I look back once again at the lorry blocking my escape and read this time the words, 'Wahe Guru' inscribed on its forehead. I slouch on my wheels and suddenly the noise pollution does not matter anymore. I cannot hear anything except my stomach rumble and see nothing except dal, rice and potatoes.
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ha ha. The trouble is that while these lorries speak english, they don't understand english themselves. How many times have I horned at these lorries from the rear... backside that is... with no response? The lorry keeps trundling well below its 40 kmph speed (which, again, is also proudly declared on it's dala as it's max. speed) and after prolonged horning, the only respone I can get from the lorry driver is a vague twiddling of his signal stick (you know those arrows like >----> weather cocks they have near the window for signaling turns?). Now what the hell does this twiddling mean for all I had wanted was a pass? I horn more passionately. The fella doesn't have a horn of his own I realize for surely he would at least have responded to my horning like whales do at sea. I don't care for a pass now for I only want him to acknowledge that I exist. I want him to horn: yes, yes, yes, I have heard you! Suddenly the driver takes out one of those wind horns that you pump with your fist and his khalasi places it on his window and starts pumping. I realize that he's horning the lorry ahead of him! Shit, I'm in a queue on NH6. And the horn ripples ahead, lorry to lorry and ocassionally an air horn shrieks through the evening darkness. I look back wondering if I can make an escape. And I am staring down the throat of a rather sedate looking lorry touching my bumper. On it's forehead is written, 'Public Carrier'. But there isn't any public inside the lorry - there is only a vestless sardarji scratching his beard, a hand on wheel, and his khalasi fiddling with a kerosene stove inside, getting ready for dinner in a short while. I am screwed. I look back once again at the lorry blocking my escape and read this time the words, 'Wahe Guru' inscribed on its forehead. I slouch on my wheels and suddenly the noise pollution does not matter anymore. I cannot hear anything except my stomach rumble and see nothing except dal, rice and potatoes.
Guest- Guest
Re: lorry
Vidya Bagchi wrote:my first post was a big wide rant about my marriage.
Link pls.
Merlot Daruwala- Posts : 5005
Join date : 2011-04-29
Re: lorry
Merlot Daruwala wrote:Vidya Bagchi wrote:my first post was a big wide rant about my marriage.
Link pls.
I had it deleted later.
Guest- Guest
Re: lorry
Vidya Bagchi wrote:my first post was a big wide rant about my marriage.
VB,
I am sorry about your situation,
If I had been unmarried and twenty years younger, I would have sent you a love note.
Since I am old enough to be your uncle, I will look for a young chap to stand in front of your house and serenade.
Rishi- Posts : 5129
Join date : 2011-09-02
Re: lorry
LOL you are cute.
When I had hit upon ch from gooling, I had thot this is a warm fuzzy family like group of desi people. That's why I felt comfortable in ranting here. Boy was I wrong about the warm fuzzy family part.
When I had hit upon ch from gooling, I had thot this is a warm fuzzy family like group of desi people. That's why I felt comfortable in ranting here. Boy was I wrong about the warm fuzzy family part.
Guest- Guest
Re: lorry
Boy was I wrong about the warm fuzzy family part.
Who exactly was so mean to you here?
Who exactly was so mean to you here?
Rishi- Posts : 5129
Join date : 2011-09-02
Re: lorry
Hey we ARE a warm fuzzy family. And like any large, warm, fuzzy family, we have weird members: creepy unkils, argumentative cousins, sultry aunties, curmudgeonly gramps, saintly mommies etc. Part of the package.
Merlot Daruwala- Posts : 5005
Join date : 2011-04-29
Re: lorry
Rishi wrote:Boy was I wrong about the warm fuzzy family part.
Who exactly was so mean to you here?
no no... no one was particularly mean to me. But I had no idea, from the few posts I read on google, that this was such a divided group with so many fights. Then, soon I was told about all the rumors and scandals among ch'ers. Within one year of me joining, I had heard so much that my ignorance and innocence was lost forever.
Guest- Guest
Re: lorry
Vidya Bagchi wrote:Rishi wrote:Boy was I wrong about the warm fuzzy family part.
Who exactly was so mean to you here?
no no... no one was particularly mean to me. But I had no idea, from the few posts I read on google, that this was such a divided group with so many fights. Then, soon I was told about all the rumors and scandals among ch'ers. Within one year of me joining, I had heard so much that my ignorance and innocence was lost forever.
>>>>What? Evidently my posts have not been hard hitting enough. Damn, I have let myslef down.
P.S> What happened to your story about shilpa/ shalu et al.?
Kris- Posts : 5460
Join date : 2011-04-28
Re: lorry
Coolie No.1 wrote:ok, my promised first post. i posted this to old ch in 1999. reproduced.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ha ha. The trouble is that while these lorries speak english, they don't understand english themselves. How many times have I horned at these lorries from the rear... backside that is... with no response? The lorry keeps trundling well below its 40 kmph speed (which, again, is also proudly declared on it's dala as it's max. speed) and after prolonged horning, the only respone I can get from the lorry driver is a vague twiddling of his signal stick (you know those arrows like >----> weather cocks they have near the window for signaling turns?). Now what the hell does this twiddling mean for all I had wanted was a pass? I horn more passionately. The fella doesn't have a horn of his own I realize for surely he would at least have responded to my horning like whales do at sea. I don't care for a pass now for I only want him to acknowledge that I exist. I want him to horn: yes, yes, yes, I have heard you! Suddenly the driver takes out one of those wind horns that you pump with your fist and his khalasi places it on his window and starts pumping. I realize that he's horning the lorry ahead of him! Shit, I'm in a queue on NH6. And the horn ripples ahead, lorry to lorry and ocassionally an air horn shrieks through the evening darkness. I look back wondering if I can make an escape. And I am staring down the throat of a rather sedate looking lorry touching my bumper. On it's forehead is written, 'Public Carrier'. But there isn't any public inside the lorry - there is only a vestless sardarji scratching his beard, a hand on wheel, and his khalasi fiddling with a kerosene stove inside, getting ready for dinner in a short while. I am screwed. I look back once again at the lorry blocking my escape and read this time the words, 'Wahe Guru' inscribed on its forehead. I slouch on my wheels and suddenly the noise pollution does not matter anymore. I cannot hear anything except my stomach rumble and see nothing except dal, rice and potatoes.
where's the tl;dr version?
Guest- Guest
Re: lorry
Kris wrote:
P.S> What happened to your story about shilpa/ shalu et al.?
1) got busy at work.
2) I sometimes write just for some sorta catharsis/closure/resolution/finding meaning of life/finding what is bothering me/finding an explanation while imagining up characters and stories. Guess that purpose was met for me as I went along.
3) If I get restless again later, I will pick up the story again. I had saved the entire plot summary at some place.
Guest- Guest
Re: lorry
Merlot Daruwala wrote:Hey we ARE a warm fuzzy family. And like any large, warm, fuzzy family, we have weird members: creepy unkils, argumentative cousins, sultry aunties, curmudgeonly gramps, saintly mommies etc. Part of the package.
oh yeah, that's me!
Guest- Guest
Re: lorry
LOL.Vidya Bagchi wrote:Rishi wrote:Boy was I wrong about the warm fuzzy family part.
Who exactly was so mean to you here?
no no... no one was particularly mean to me. But I had no idea, from the few posts I read on google, that this was such a divided group with so many fights. Then, soon I was told about all the rumors and scandals among ch'ers. Within one year of me joining, I had heard so much that my ignorance and innocence was lost forever.
Guest- Guest
Re: lorry
Merlot Daruwala wrote:Hey we ARE a warm fuzzy family. And like any large, warm, fuzzy family, we have weird members: creepy unkils, argumentative cousins, sultry aunties, curmudgeonly gramps, saintly mommies etc. Part of the package.
Nephew must be behind the camera taking the family picture since he is conspicuously absent from the warm and fuzzy crowd above.
goodcitizn- Posts : 3263
Join date : 2011-05-03
Re: lorry
Hahaha, just made my way to the Creative forum and saw this. I laughed a lot reading this. I need to do some research on the institution of the khalasi. Why does the driver need one? What are his job responsibilities? What skills and capabilities does he bring to the table (or passenger's seat)? What is the etymology of the word? What is the long-term outlook for the job?Huzefa Kapasi wrote:ok, my promised first post. i posted this to old ch in 1999. reproduced.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ha ha. The trouble is that while these lorries speak english, they don't understand english themselves. How many times have I horned at these lorries from the rear... backside that is... with no response? The lorry keeps trundling well below its 40 kmph speed (which, again, is also proudly declared on it's dala as it's max. speed) and after prolonged horning, the only respone I can get from the lorry driver is a vague twiddling of his signal stick (you know those arrows like >----> weather cocks they have near the window for signaling turns?). Now what the hell does this twiddling mean for all I had wanted was a pass? I horn more passionately. The fella doesn't have a horn of his own I realize for surely he would at least have responded to my horning like whales do at sea. I don't care for a pass now for I only want him to acknowledge that I exist. I want him to horn: yes, yes, yes, I have heard you! Suddenly the driver takes out one of those wind horns that you pump with your fist and his khalasi places it on his window and starts pumping. I realize that he's horning the lorry ahead of him! Shit, I'm in a queue on NH6. And the horn ripples ahead, lorry to lorry and ocassionally an air horn shrieks through the evening darkness. I look back wondering if I can make an escape. And I am staring down the throat of a rather sedate looking lorry touching my bumper. On it's forehead is written, 'Public Carrier'. But there isn't any public inside the lorry - there is only a vestless sardarji scratching his beard, a hand on wheel, and his khalasi fiddling with a kerosene stove inside, getting ready for dinner in a short while. I am screwed. I look back once again at the lorry blocking my escape and read this time the words, 'Wahe Guru' inscribed on its forehead. I slouch on my wheels and suddenly the noise pollution does not matter anymore. I cannot hear anything except my stomach rumble and see nothing except dal, rice and potatoes.
Idéfix- Posts : 8808
Join date : 2012-04-26
Location : Berkeley, CA
Re: lorry
trofimov wrote:Hahaha, just made my way to the Creative forum and saw this. I laughed a lot reading this. I need to do some research on the institution of the khalasi. Why does the driver need one? What are his job responsibilities? What skills and capabilities does he bring to the table (or passenger's seat)? What is the etymology of the word? What is the long-term outlook for the job?
all about khalasis here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Khalasi i did not know it was derived from arabic.
re: your other questions:
a truck khalasi's job is to a) wash and clean the truck routinely, b) open the dala or wooden planks so the truck can be emptied and the reverse, c) cook meals, d) double up for the driver in emergencies e) replace punctured tyres, f) help the driver park the truck. the khalasi eventually gets promoted to being a truck driver.
Guest- Guest
Re: lorry
and the truck driver becomes a truck owner!Huzefa Kapasi wrote: the khalasi eventually gets promoted to being a truck driver.
Guest- Guest
Re: lorry
consider writing a fiction. srsly. look, that immortals of... guy earned a million dollar deal already.
http://blogs.wsj.com/indiarealtime/2013/03/16/meet-amish-tripathi-million-dollar-author/
http://blogs.wsj.com/indiarealtime/2013/03/16/meet-amish-tripathi-million-dollar-author/
Captain Bhankas- Posts : 676
Join date : 2013-02-05
Re: lorry
wow @ $1M. mind boggling advance to a writer who was initially rejected by publishers. i've read his shiva trilogy -- not bad.Captain Bhankas wrote:consider writing a fiction. srsly. look, that immortals of... guy earned a million dollar deal already.
http://blogs.wsj.com/indiarealtime/2013/03/16/meet-amish-tripathi-million-dollar-author/
Guest- Guest
Re: lorry
I second that, HK. You should put some serious effort into writing fiction.Captain Bhankas wrote:consider writing a fiction. srsly. look, that immortals of... guy earned a million dollar deal already.
http://blogs.wsj.com/indiarealtime/2013/03/16/meet-amish-tripathi-million-dollar-author/
Idéfix- Posts : 8808
Join date : 2012-04-26
Location : Berkeley, CA
Re: lorry
Interesting. I wonder if this will continue as road-side facilities improve in India. Here long-distance truck drivers rely on third parties or technology for most of those tasks. I guess one other duty is to mix the driver's drinks while he is busy driving!Huzefa Kapasi wrote:trofimov wrote:Hahaha, just made my way to the Creative forum and saw this. I laughed a lot reading this. I need to do some research on the institution of the khalasi. Why does the driver need one? What are his job responsibilities? What skills and capabilities does he bring to the table (or passenger's seat)? What is the etymology of the word? What is the long-term outlook for the job?
all about khalasis here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Khalasi i did not know it was derived from arabic.
re: your other questions:
a truck khalasi's job is to a) wash and clean the truck routinely, b) open the dala or wooden planks so the truck can be emptied and the reverse, c) cook meals, d) double up for the driver in emergencies e) replace punctured tyres, f) help the driver park the truck. the khalasi eventually gets promoted to being a truck driver.
Idéfix- Posts : 8808
Join date : 2012-04-26
Location : Berkeley, CA
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