Okay...

by Nila Wed Jun 08, 2011 5:07 pm

I told my Mom and my Mom told my sister and my sister told the other sisters and one sister got mad and called my sister in law to enquire and my sil called the husband (from now on no dh only th) and my mil called me to enquire and my brother called my mil and th's brother.

Gosh It is good and bad to have siblings.

end of happy and weird rant...

and th is scary to even look at me. also...my brother is visiting us end of this month, a casual visit and he is planning to put my elder son in an international hostel school ?! Not gonna happen? anyways...

thanks you all./

by Guest Wed Jun 08, 2011 5:10 pm

what did you tell your mom, and then what did you tell your mil, and why is your husband scared to look at you?

by Nila Wed Jun 08, 2011 5:18 pm

I told the same thing that I posted here the spitting stuff. My MIL called me and asked what happened did he yell at you...? Your sis called my dd...kinda stuff.

A lot is happening and seems like a drama to me! MOM!

My husband is kinda surprised that I complained about it to my Mom and he is kinda scared coz he never might have had a thought that it would happen. Me being tolerant and all...u know?

Well,

by Guest Wed Jun 08, 2011 5:25 pm

good u surprised him. he'll not take u for grnated now...its not always good to tell ur mom everything that happens between u and da :p husband but smtimes taking help from elders helps...like this time. his mom will tell him in ways he understands. fikar not.

btw wats ur relationship with ur sil like? are u two frndly? wats he like with his mom? they say if a guy treats his mom well, he is likely to treat u well as well.

by Guest Wed Jun 08, 2011 5:28 pm

He will be scared for a total of 3 months... maybe he will treat you extra well, and then both of you will go back to the same pattern.

Since the drama has begun, don't back out that easily and make use of it. Make sure you open up communications of present and for future. Talk it all out, and counsel/seek help as much as possible.

Or else, the next time you complain to anyone, YOU would be the whiny bitch.

by Nila Wed Jun 08, 2011 5:35 pm

It wasn't my intention. I couldn't take it...well, don't want to discuss about it anymore. Sigh!

Initially my relationship with my sil was too good and later had a little hiccups with her and then again okay relationship. MIL has always been good.

Yep...he treats his Mom good.

by Guest Wed Jun 08, 2011 5:36 pm

watever u do, dont take no c r a p from him. to give him an idea of wat u can do if he dare spit on u again, show him the friends episode in which Ross is mean to Joey when he is a waiter and central perk.

by Guest Wed Jun 08, 2011 5:38 pm

you are at a point where you can improve your relationship. Or else, it may get even worse than it was before, now that it's not so private. This is the perfect time to work on your marriage.

by Guest Wed Jun 08, 2011 5:38 pm

Sasthi wrote:It wasn't my intention. I couldn't take it...well, don't want to discuss about it anymore. Sigh!

Initially my relationship with my sil was too good and later had a little hiccups with her and then again okay relationship. MIL has always been good.

Yep...he treats his Mom good.

then he shudnt spit on u. dont make him soo angry and try not to annoy him much, dont do things he doesnt like. tell him to cook himself if he doesnt like ur cooking.

by Guest Wed Jun 08, 2011 5:42 pm

seven wrote: show him the friends episode in which Ross is mean to Joey when he is a waiter and central perk.

srsly? LOL

by Nila Wed Jun 08, 2011 5:42 pm

Tracy Whitney wrote:He will be scared for a total of 3 months... maybe he will treat you extra well, and then both of you will go back to the same pattern.

Since the drama has begun, don't back out that easily and make use of it. Make sure you open up communications of present and for future. Talk it all out, and counsel/seek help as much as possible.

Or else, the next time you complain to anyone, YOU would be the whiny bitch.

I am sure I will not complain the next time...it's gonna be do or die and will let my Mom know the decision. Now it's all became too melodramatic - like getting too many calls in the morn/even/ (from desh) and also during lunch hours from siblings or checking on me online?! Ridiculously annoying!

by Guest Wed Jun 08, 2011 5:47 pm

ur mom shudnt have told ur sisters. instead she shud ve talked ur d(a)h and maybe his mom if he was smwat hostile...why peeto dhindora everywhere ?

no next vext time. this is the time u tell him wats not acceptable and how much his behaviour hurts u. make sure he understands.

by Nila Wed Jun 08, 2011 5:51 pm

Tracy Whitney wrote:you are at a point where you can improve your relationship. Or else, it may get even worse than it was before, now that it's not so private. This is the perfect time to work on your marriage.

Blah! I am going to stop working on my marriage it is his turn to work on it.

by Nila Wed Jun 08, 2011 6:49 pm

seven wrote:ur mom shudnt have told ur sisters. instead she shud ve talked ur d(a)h and maybe his mom if he was smwat hostile...why peeto dhindora everywhere ?

no next vext time. this is the time u tell him wats not acceptable and how much his behaviour hurts u. make sure he understands.

Actually now that you ask...my Mom has a very valid reason for not talking to him directly - coz like 7/8 years back my Mom and th had an argument and they stopped talking to each other for about 5 years and I was also not talking to my Mom for 2 years (that one I don't want to share details)....may be that's why?

Okies, gotta go!

by SomeProfile Wed Jun 08, 2011 10:58 pm

Sasthi wrote:
Actually now that you ask...my Mom has a very valid reason for not talking to him directly - coz like 7/8 years back my Mom and th had an argument and they stopped talking to each other for about 5 years and I was also not talking to my Mom for 2 years (that one I don't want to share details)....

Sounds like high drama is a way of life in this family...

by Guest Thu Jun 09, 2011 12:15 am

Sasthi wrote:
seven wrote:ur mom shudnt have told ur sisters. instead she shud ve talked ur d(a)h and maybe his mom if he was smwat hostile...why peeto dhindora everywhere ?

no next vext time. this is the time u tell him wats not acceptable and how much his behaviour hurts u. make sure he understands.

Actually now that you ask...my Mom has a very valid reason for not talking to him directly - coz like 7/8 years back my Mom and th had an argument and they stopped talking to each other for about 5 years and I was also not talking to my Mom for 2 years (that one I don't want to share details)....may be that's why?

Okies, gotta go!

then she shud ve spoken to ur mom-in-law. y make him a villian in ur sisters' eyes b4 making efforts to fix things between u two.

also, are u always in a hurry ?

by Nila Thu Jun 09, 2011 12:45 am

She cannot speak to MIL - they have language issues...still they can speak broken tamil with each other but still?! Also my mom is very light spoken...I am surprised that she told it to my sis and she spread it.

Gosh! Stop asking too many questions...:-)

by Nila Thu Jun 09, 2011 12:46 am

SomeProfile wrote:
Sasthi wrote:
Actually now that you ask...my Mom has a very valid reason for not talking to him directly - coz like 7/8 years back my Mom and th had an argument and they stopped talking to each other for about 5 years and I was also not talking to my Mom for 2 years (that one I don't want to share details)....

Sounds like high drama is a way of life in this family...

Singles only post superb dream creations while married ppl live a drama life!

by Guest Thu Jun 09, 2011 12:48 am

Sasthi wrote:She cannot speak to MIL - they have language issues...still they can speak broken tamil with each other but still?! Also my mom is very light spoken...I am surprised that she told it to my sis and she spread it.

Gosh! Stop asking too many questions...:-)

alright. nomore questions from me.

by SomeProfile Thu Jun 09, 2011 12:48 am

Sasthi wrote:
SomeProfile wrote:
Sasthi wrote:
Actually now that you ask...my Mom has a very valid reason for not talking to him directly - coz like 7/8 years back my Mom and th had an argument and they stopped talking to each other for about 5 years and I was also not talking to my Mom for 2 years (that one I don't want to share details)....

Sounds like high drama is a way of life in this family...

Singles only post superb dream creations while married ppl live a drama life!

Dear Sasthulu,

Don't you think there is a villain missing in your drama? Gimme a chance. Send me your email ID.

Waiting,

S P

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Thu Jun 09, 2011 12:50 am

Sasthi wrote:I told my Mom and my Mom told my sister and my sister told the other sisters and one sister got mad and called my sister in law to enquire and my sil called the husband (from now on no dh only th) and my mil called me to enquire and my brother called my mil and th's brother.

Gosh It is good and bad to have siblings.

end of happy and weird rant...

and th is scary to even look at me. also...my brother is visiting us end of this month, a casual visit and he is planning to put my elder son in an international hostel school ?! Not gonna happen? anyways...

thanks you all./

I think your unintended complaint has inadvertently hit TH at his weakest spot. Busted his "image" and status" in front of the ENTIRE family on both sides. The shine is lost and his image is dented. The relationship will be cold and chill for some time (years). at least, it is likely to be less abusive.

by Nila Thu Jun 09, 2011 12:50 am

SomeProfile wrote:
Sasthi wrote:
SomeProfile wrote:
Sasthi wrote:
Actually now that you ask...my Mom has a very valid reason for not talking to him directly - coz like 7/8 years back my Mom and th had an argument and they stopped talking to each other for about 5 years and I was also not talking to my Mom for 2 years (that one I don't want to share details)....

Sounds like high drama is a way of life in this family...

Singles only post superb dream creations while married ppl live a drama life!

Dear Sasthulu,

Don't you think there is a villain missing in your drama? Gimme a chance. Send me your email ID.

Waiting,

S P

Don't you think I am already having too much going on in my life?!

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Thu Jun 09, 2011 12:51 am

Sasthi wrote:I told my Mom and my Mom told my sister and my sister told the other sisters and one sister got mad and called my sister in law to enquire and my sil called the husband (from now on no dh only th) and my mil called me to enquire and my brother called my mil and th's brother.

Gosh It is good and bad to have siblings.

end of happy and weird rant...

and th is scary to even look at me. also...my brother is visiting us end of this month, a casual visit and he is planning to put my elder son in an international hostel school ?! Not gonna happen? anyways...

thanks you all./

I think your unintended complaint has inadvertently hit TH at his weakest spot. Busted his "image" and status" in front of the ENTIRE family on both sides. The shine is lost and his image is dented. The relationship will be cold and chill for some time (years). at least, it is likely to be less abusive.

by SomeProfile Thu Jun 09, 2011 12:52 am

Sasthi wrote:
Don't you think I am already having too much going on in my life?!

It is precisely at these times that some external distraction will bring some much needed daily relief and rejuvenation. Like, for example, imagine that you have a caring, encouraging, non-judgmental friend with whom you can talk about anything. Ragasiya snegithan. Just for you. Wouldn't you like that?

by Nila Thu Jun 09, 2011 12:53 am

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
Sasthi wrote:I told my Mom and my Mom told my sister and my sister told the other sisters and one sister got mad and called my sister in law to enquire and my sil called the husband (from now on no dh only th) and my mil called me to enquire and my brother called my mil and th's brother.

Gosh It is good and bad to have siblings.

end of happy and weird rant...

and th is scary to even look at me. also...my brother is visiting us end of this month, a casual visit and he is planning to put my elder son in an international hostel school ?! Not gonna happen? anyways...

thanks you all./

I think your unintended complaint has inadvertently hit TH at his weakest spot. Busted his "image" and status" in front of the ENTIRE family on both sides. The shine is lost and his image is dented. The relationship will be cold and chill for some time (years). at least, it is likely to be less abusive.

Don't even wanna start about his pissed off situation...getting calls from his mommy and sister and brother and they are all throwing advices left and right. I am staying out as much as possible and he leaves as soon as I am home...

by Nila Thu Jun 09, 2011 12:55 am

SomeProfile wrote:
Sasthi wrote:
Don't you think I am already having too much going on in my life?!

It is precisely at these times that some external distraction will bring some much needed daily relief and rejuvenation. Like, for example, imagine that you have a caring, encouraging, non-judgmental friend with whom you can talk about anything. Ragasiya snegithan. Just for you. Wouldn't you like that?

Vera Alae Kidakilae Unakku? Yethleyum Nambikai kidaiyathu Pa Ennakku...pst pst...vera aala thedu,

by charvaka Thu Jun 09, 2011 12:56 am

Sasthi wrote:
SomeProfile wrote:

Dear Sasthulu,

Don't you think there is a villain missing in your drama? Gimme a chance. Send me your email ID.

Waiting,

S P

Don't you think I am already having too much going on in my life?!

Smart comeback. It's good that it is out now. See if your husband is open to talking to a counselor. This is a good time to start communicating more openly with each other. You should tell him what is hurting you, and he should tell you what is hurting him. If you are unable to do that calmly, it will be mighty painful to live with each other for the rest of your lives -- even if you end up doing it for the sake of the kids.

by SomeProfile Thu Jun 09, 2011 12:57 am

Sasthi wrote:
SomeProfile wrote:
Sasthi wrote:
Don't you think I am already having too much going on in my life?!

It is precisely at these times that some external distraction will bring some much needed daily relief and rejuvenation. Like, for example, imagine that you have a caring, encouraging, non-judgmental friend with whom you can talk about anything. Ragasiya snegithan. Just for you. Wouldn't you like that?

Vera Alae Kidakilae Unakku? Yethleyum Nambikai kidaiyathu Pa Ennakku...pst pst...vera aala thedu,

Come on... Don't make me involve my friend in this for translation. He already thinks I am interested in some Tamil girl. What are you trying to say? Deal-al? No deal-a?

by Nila Thu Jun 09, 2011 12:59 am

No deal!

by SomeProfile Thu Jun 09, 2011 12:59 am

Sasthi wrote:No deal!

:'(

by Nila Thu Jun 09, 2011 1:01 am

charvaka wrote:
Sasthi wrote:
SomeProfile wrote:

Dear Sasthulu,

Don't you think there is a villain missing in your drama? Gimme a chance. Send me your email ID.

Waiting,

S P

Don't you think I am already having too much going on in my life?!

Smart comeback. It's good that it is out now. See if your husband is open to talking to a counselor. This is a good time to start communicating more openly with each other. You should tell him what is hurting you, and he should tell you what is hurting him. If you are unable to do that calmly, it will be mighty painful to live with each other for the rest of your lives -- even if you end up doing it for the sake of the kids.

okay..., I will keep that in my mind and try to work out...for now I wanna enjoy my vacation without any dramas...that's that.

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Thu Jun 09, 2011 1:08 am

Sasthi wrote:

Don't even wanna start about his pissed off situation...getting calls from his mommy and sister and brother and they are all throwing advices left and right. I am staying out as much as possible and he leaves as soon as I am home...

Wait for him to realize his fault and reach out to you. If you try to talk to him he will interpret that you are scared and he will go back to his old methods - only worse. so enjoy the peace until he comes to you. At that time tell him how you feel and be firm and take a tougher lie dealing with him.

by SomeProfile Thu Jun 09, 2011 1:12 am

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
Sasthi wrote:

Don't even wanna start about his pissed off situation...getting calls from his mommy and sister and brother and they are all throwing advices left and right. I am staying out as much as possible and he leaves as soon as I am home...

Wait for him to realize his fault and reach out to you. If you try to talk to him he will interpret that you are scared and he will go back to his old methods - only worse. so enjoy the peace until he comes to you. At that time tell him how you feel and be firm and take a tougher lie dealing with him.

This is the correct advice. But it will be somewhat difficult to follow. You'll be tempted to talk to him or check on what's going on with him, etc. Only way out is to have some enjoyable distraction of your own. That will keep you busy and happy. So, you won't feel like checking up on him or breaking the silence first. That will make him realize what he is missing. So, I can supply the enjoyable distraction, if you supply your email ID. Think about it. We are just talking about some emails here and there, a few chats occasionally. Nothing major or serious.

by charvaka Thu Jun 09, 2011 1:15 am

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
Sasthi wrote:

Don't even wanna start about his pissed off situation...getting calls from his mommy and sister and brother and they are all throwing advices left and right. I am staying out as much as possible and he leaves as soon as I am home...

Wait for him to realize his fault and reach out to you. If you try to talk to him he will interpret that you are scared and he will go back to his old methods - only worse. so enjoy the peace until he comes to you. At that time tell him how you feel and be firm and take a tougher lie dealing with him.

That's good advice.

by Nila Thu Jun 09, 2011 1:28 am

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
Sasthi wrote:

Don't even wanna start about his pissed off situation...getting calls from his mommy and sister and brother and they are all throwing advices left and right. I am staying out as much as possible and he leaves as soon as I am home...

Wait for him to realize his fault and reach out to you. If you try to talk to him he will interpret that you are scared and he will go back to his old methods - only worse. so enjoy the peace until he comes to you. At that time tell him how you feel and be firm and take a tougher lie dealing with him.

No problem...I can wait for years. Thanks...

by Nila Thu Jun 09, 2011 1:29 am

SomeProfile wrote:
Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
Sasthi wrote:

Don't even wanna start about his pissed off situation...getting calls from his mommy and sister and brother and they are all throwing advices left and right. I am staying out as much as possible and he leaves as soon as I am home...

Wait for him to realize his fault and reach out to you. If you try to talk to him he will interpret that you are scared and he will go back to his old methods - only worse. so enjoy the peace until he comes to you. At that time tell him how you feel and be firm and take a tougher lie dealing with him.

This is the correct advice. But it will be somewhat difficult to follow. You'll be tempted to talk to him or check on what's going on with him, etc. Only way out is to have some enjoyable distraction of your own. That will keep you busy and happy. So, you won't feel like checking up on him or breaking the silence first. That will make him realize what he is missing. So, I can supply the enjoyable distraction, if you supply your email ID. Think about it. We are just talking about some emails here and there, a few chats occasionally. Nothing major or serious.

I can always distract myself by posting here...I don't think I have time to email, chats...we can always talk here nanba.

by Rekz Thu Jun 09, 2011 8:28 am

Sasthi wrote:
Tracy Whitney wrote:you are at a point where you can improve your relationship. Or else, it may get even worse than it was before, now that it's not so private. This is the perfect time to work on your marriage.

Blah! I am going to stop working on my marriage it is his turn to work on it.

Thumbs up

by garam_kuta Thu Jun 09, 2011 12:06 pm

Sasthi wrote:

I can always distract myself by posting here...I don't think I have time to email, chats...we can always talk here nanba.

nanba - translation ?

S P Rolling Eyes

by Rekz Thu Jun 09, 2011 12:36 pm

garam_kuta wrote:
Sasthi wrote:

I can always distract myself by posting here...I don't think I have time to email, chats...we can always talk here nanba.

nanba - translation ?

S P

nanba=friend

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