Point to ponder

People who become happily easily are the ones who suffer more.

Yes? no? maybe? shut up?

The Buddha spent a good chunk of his life pondering the question, "why do people suffer?" He came up with the answer, "because they care too much and about too much stuff." If you practice the detachment he preached, you won't become happy easily and you won't suffer easily. At the risk of stealing Sevaji's thunder, let me add that I think the Bhagavadgita also says something similar: that a sthitaprajna is one who has overcome attachment, and therefore is not easily swayed by too many things. In summary, detach yourself from the immediate ups and downs of your life, just post on SuCH, and you shall be happy.

Vidya Bagchi wrote:People who become happily easily are the ones who suffer more.

Yes? no? maybe? shut up?

word it differently, maybe? Ppl who get too high/excited abt stuff are also the ones who can get too low/disappointed easily and hence suffer more.

Well that's why Krishna advised us to have Samadristi or equanimity. That doesn't mean robot like existence. It means we got to be cool abt every damn thing.

Well. The other part of my statement was:

People who are tough to please get it better in life.

But ya I hear you about detachment.

Perhaps people try harder to please the people who are tough to please. So the tough-to-please types get more effort expended for their benefit. But if they are truly tough-to-please and not just putting on a show of it, then they are not impressed. So it's wasted extra effort.

Vidya Bagchi wrote:Well. The other part of my statement was:

People who are tough to please get it better in life.

But ya I hear you about detachment.

i don't think so. They are a nuisance and pretty irritating to everyone around. they can never be happy nor can they allow others around to be happy.
Ppl who are easily content/gratified (contentment/gratification is different from getting too high abt things) and appreciate the simple things in life are the happier ones and easy to live with.

trofimov wrote:Perhaps people try harder to please the people who are tough to please. So the tough-to-please types get more effort expended for their benefit. But if they are truly tough-to-please and not just putting on a show of it, then they are not impressed. So it's wasted extra effort.

Ya that's what I was thinking too. They don't settle for anything that's below their expectations. And so they make sure they get what they want. Half of their sufferings are reduced coz they make sure of it.

People who are happy for less. Well, they end up taking shoddy deals.

trofimov wrote: In summary, detach yourself from the immediate ups and downs of your life, just post on SuCH, and you shall be happy.

Ya that's the thing. I post. I laugh. I write a story and get it out of me. I am happy, I forget. When I shouldn't be maybe. You may think I am coping well. But my life continues to be pos.

trofimov wrote:The Buddha spent a good chunk of his life pondering the question, "why do people suffer?" He came up with the answer, "because they care too much and about too much stuff." If you practice the detachment he preached, you won't become happy easily and you won't suffer easily. At the risk of stealing Sevaji's thunder, let me add that I think the Bhagavadgita also says something similar: that a sthitaprajna is one who has overcome attachment, and therefore is not easily swayed by too many things. In summary, detach yourself from the immediate ups and downs of your life, just post on SuCH, and you shall be happy.

in my experience, ppl that give advises easily usually seldom practice them. my advise is to live a virtuous life.

Propagandhi711 wrote:in my experience, ppl that give advises easily usually seldom practice them. my advise is to live a virtuous life.

This is why I regularly advice people to be detached.

You will be happy if you stop sinning and accept Jesus as your personal savior.

Propagandhi711 wrote:in my experience, ppl that give advises easily usually seldom practice them. my advise is to live a virtuous life.

Lol. I am leading a fairly virtuous life currently.

Vidya Bagchi wrote:Ya that's what I was thinking too. They don't settle for anything that's below their expectations. And so they make sure they get what they want. Half of their sufferings are reduced coz they make sure of it.

People who are happy for less. Well, they end up taking shoddy deals.

Or they reject all the deals on the table because nothing is good enough, and then spend most of their life trying to lower their expectations and / or imagining what might have been.

Vidya Bagchi wrote:Ya that's the thing. I post. I laugh. I write a story and get it out of me. I am happy, I forget. When I shouldn't be maybe. You may think I am coping well. But my life continues to be pos.

That, all said and done, is what matters.

Of course, there sometimes may be a trade-off between "happiness now" and "sum of all your happiness over the rest of your life." Researchers say that little kids who can delay gratification (i.e. sacrifice "happiness now" for potential future happiness) tend to be more successful in their adult lives. But I don't know how far in life that applies to. Surely, if you keep sacrificing "happiness now" for potential future happiness until the moment of your death, then you are never happy. In my opinion, regardless of our many differences, the regulars on this forum (I don't mean the occasional posters) share a common trait: we tend to take "happiness now" more often than not.

Vidya Bagchi wrote:

Propagandhi711 wrote:in my experience, ppl that give advises easily usually seldom practice them. my advise is to live a virtuous life.

Lol. I am leading a fairly virtuous life currently.

fair to who?

just the opposite imo. the people who aren ot easily happy suffer unnecessarily when they can very well be happy!

Propagandhi711 wrote:

Vidya Bagchi wrote:

Propagandhi711 wrote:in my experience, ppl that give advises easily usually seldom practice them. my advise is to live a virtuous life.

Lol. I am leading a fairly virtuous life currently.

fair to who?

I mean it's not fully virtuous. But reasonably virtuous compared to many other people or my own occasional past.

trofimov wrote:

Vidya Bagchi wrote:Ya that's what I was thinking too. They don't settle for anything that's below their expectations. And so they make sure they get what they want. Half of their sufferings are reduced coz they make sure of it.

People who are happy for less. Well, they end up taking shoddy deals.

Or they reject all the deals on the table because nothing is good enough, and then spend most of their life trying to lower their expectations and / or imagining what might have been.

Vidya Bagchi wrote:Ya that's the thing. I post. I laugh. I write a story and get it out of me. I am happy, I forget. When I shouldn't be maybe. You may think I am coping well. But my life continues to be pos.

That, all said and done, is what matters.

Of course, there sometimes may be a trade-off between "happiness now" and "sum of all your happiness over the rest of your life." Researchers say that little kids who can delay gratification (i.e. sacrifice "happiness now" for potential future happiness) tend to be more successful in their adult lives. But I don't know how far in life that applies to. Surely, if you keep sacrificing "happiness now" for potential future happiness until the moment of your death, then you are never happy. In my opinion, regardless of our many differences, the regulars on this forum (I don't mean the occasional posters) share a common trait: we tend to take "happiness now" more often than not.

K this will spin in my head while I determine what kind I am. I have been both. So need to put a finger on when I changed and what it caused.

Vidya Bagchi wrote:Well. The other part of my statement was:

People who are tough to please get it better in life.

But ya I hear you about detachment.

they may get better in life. but the question is will it finally make them happy? how happy? for how long? if we divide the pie in two parts, happy - pink and unhappy - blue, most part of the total time they have is blue.

yeah whe nyou're buying a car or a house or sth, be tough to please so the salesman will try to make u happy by givingu a good deal. be pleasant though.

why do u ask?

seven wrote:

Vidya Bagchi wrote:Well. The other part of my statement was:

People who are tough to please get it better in life.

But ya I hear you about detachment.

they may get better in life. but the question is will it finally make them happy? how happy? for how long? if we divide the pie in two parts, happy - pink and unhappy - blue, most part of the total time they have is blue.

yeah whe nyou're buying a car or a house or sth, be tough to please so the salesman will try to make u happy by givingu a good deal. be pleasant though.

why do u ask?

Talking about sufferings here. Not state of mind.

Vidya Bagchi wrote:

seven wrote:

Vidya Bagchi wrote:Well. The other part of my statement was:

People who are tough to please get it better in life.

But ya I hear you about detachment.

they may get better in life. but the question is will it finally make them happy? how happy? for how long? if we divide the pie in two parts, happy - pink and unhappy - blue, most part of the total time they have is blue.

yeah whe nyou're buying a car or a house or sth, be tough to please so the salesman will try to make u happy by givingu a good deal. be pleasant though.

why do u ask?

Talking about sufferings here. Not state of mind.

excuse me but budha and all the wise ppl will agree agree with me when i say, its all in the mind.
happiness/suffering etc are all states of mind.

and btw mind is the cause of suffering. so technically if u kill ur mind, you'll stop suffering or sth

in the mean time you can try mastering it/controling it or make peace with it.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each one on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes, she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in another bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a third bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see."

"Carrots, eggs and coffee", she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee.

The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma.

The daughter then asked, "What does it mean?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity……boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" the mother asked the daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?"

Think of this : Which of these am I?

Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changed the hot water, the very circumstances that bring the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and the flavour. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

ohhohohoho what an inspiring story maama. but wouldnt ppl grind coffee beans before boiling it to make coffee? boiling whole beans would only give you dark water with very little flavor

may be it is a rudimentary form of making coffee.
leave that uncle ji. are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

i think i may be a carrot.

Vidya Bagchi wrote:i think i may be a carrot.

May we all be coffee. But god has other things in mind. He gives us enough sorrow to keep us human. we've to move forward letting go our failures for the happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything.

Vidya Bagchi wrote:People who become happily easily are the ones who suffer more.

Yes? no? maybe? shut up?

>>>Confucius say 'man with easygoing wife and tough CPA - happy, man with tough wife and easygoing CPA suffer more'

Vidya Bagchi wrote:People who become happily easily are the ones who suffer more.

Yes? no? maybe? shut up?

my great guru baba jamadagni who refers to himself in third person always says - "baba says life is a zero sum game. you win some you lose some. you laugh as much as you cry. you climb as much as you descend. the trick is to live life like a donkey in the street who eats paper and jalebi with the same relish."

Captain Bhankas wrote:

Vidya Bagchi wrote:People who become happily easily are the ones who suffer more.

Yes? no? maybe? shut up?

my great guru baba jamadagni who refers to himself in third person always says - "baba says life is a zero sum game. you win some you lose some. you laugh as much as you cry. you climb as much as you descend. the trick is to live life like a donkey in the street who eats paper and jalebi with the same relish."

Hey your great guru baba jamadagni sounds like one cool dude. You should post more of his wisdom hereabouts.

Merlot Daruwala wrote:

Captain Bhankas wrote:

Vidya Bagchi wrote:People who become happily easily are the ones who suffer more.

Yes? no? maybe? shut up?

my great guru baba jamadagni who refers to himself in third person always says - "baba says life is a zero sum game. you win some you lose some. you laugh as much as you cry. you climb as much as you descend. the trick is to live life like a donkey in the street who eats paper and jalebi with the same relish."

Hey your great guru baba jamadagni sounds like one cool dude. You should post more of his wisdom hereabouts.

ah.. lawn mower beer and duvel golden ale actually feel the same .. and so are the works of degas/monet and thomas kinkade

Haha..no, you're misinterpreting the great guru baba jamdagni. Just because one relishes lawnmowed beer doesn't mean it tastes the same as duvel ale. The two are as different as chalk and cheese, but one should learn to relish whichever is available.Therein lies the path to contentment and happiness.

Merlot Daruwala wrote:Haha..no, you're misinterpreting the great guru baba jamdagni. Just because one relishes lawnmowed beer doesn't mean it tastes the same as duvel ale. The two are as different as chalk and cheese, but one should learn to relish whichever is available.Therein lies the path to contentment and happiness.

right ho, agent ! I am only glad that you are not into this detachment etc.,- which will make us all made by 'intel' are some such..

No..no such PC claims from me. I'm all for attachments and more of those if possible. Else what is life worth living for?

Merlot Daruwala wrote:No..no such PC claims from me. I'm all for attachments and more of those if possible. Else what is life worth living for?

very well said, maan !

Merlot Daruwala wrote:Haha..no, you're misinterpreting the great guru baba jamdagni. Just because one relishes lawnmowed beer doesn't mean it tastes the same as duvel ale. The two are as different as chalk and cheese, but one should learn to relish whichever is available.Therein lies the path to contentment and happiness.

great insights by the baba jamdagni, ably interpreted by captain and mcdrinky. everyone wants the hot chick but if the fat one's the only one making eyes at you, then be content with the chubby. dont tell others tho. let her be like the borrowed moped you would never brag about riding to college those three months when your bike was in an accident and you didnt have the money to get it repaired and was afraid to tell your dad.

Propagandhi711 wrote:let her be like the borrowed moped you would never brag about riding to college those three months when your bike was in an accident and you didnt have the money to get it repaired and was afraid to tell your dad.

hahaha. i am sure baba jamadagni agrees with that. ride them all with equal gusto, he would say.