Foster Parents

by Guest Thu Jan 29, 2015 7:23 pm

Does anyone know of any Indian taking the role of a foster parent? If so, what was their experience?

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Thu Jan 29, 2015 11:44 pm

Kinnera wrote:Does anyone know of any Indian taking the role of a foster parent? If so, what was their experience?

a desi foster kid?

by Guest Fri Jan 30, 2015 5:38 pm

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
Kinnera wrote:Does anyone know of any Indian taking the role of a foster parent? If so, what was their experience?

a desi foster kid?

Desi foster parents, not desi foster kids. I don't think there will be any desi foster kids around to be their foster parent. If a desi couple wants to be foster parents, they have to most likely take in kids from other races. I am wondering how that experience would be. (For ex, with indian food being cooked at home most of the time, etc)

by Kris Sat Jan 31, 2015 12:51 pm

Kinnera wrote:
Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
Kinnera wrote:Does anyone know of any Indian taking the role of a foster parent? If so, what was their experience?

a desi foster kid?

Desi foster parents, not desi foster kids. I don't think there will be any desi foster kids around to be their foster parent. If a desi couple wants to be foster parents, they have to most likely take in kids from other races. I am wondering how that experience would be. (For ex, with indian food being cooked at home most of the time, etc)

>>>The only case I can recall is a friend who did this in Canada. The foster child was Indian. I saw her when I went to visit him. She basically stayed in her room and I just saw her for a few minutes and she was very polite, but of few words. It didn't last very long and he told me she went to another foster home. I don't know the circumstances, but it didn't seem like an ideal situation. There were some marital issues, the wife had a very short fuse and they argued about everything (she called him an a**h**e at a restaurant they took me too). Maybe the placement agency sensed this situation. This may of course be a bad example. I am sure there are a lot of positive stories. In terms of the concern about Indian food etc., I am sure the matches are made on the basis of the child's personality. Good luck.

by Guest Sun Feb 01, 2015 8:24 am

Kris wrote:
Kinnera wrote:
Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
Kinnera wrote:Does anyone know of any Indian taking the role of a foster parent? If so, what was their experience?

a desi foster kid?

Desi foster parents, not desi foster kids. I don't think there will be any desi foster kids around to be their foster parent. If a desi couple wants to be foster parents, they have to most likely take in kids from other races. I am wondering how that experience would be. (For ex, with indian food being cooked at home most of the time, etc)
>>>The only case I can recall is a friend who did this in Canada. The foster child was Indian. I saw her when I went to visit him. She basically stayed in her room and I just saw her for a few minutes and she was very polite, but of few words. It didn't last very long and he told me she went to another foster home. I don't know the circumstances, but it didn't seem like an ideal situation. There were some marital issues, the wife had a very short fuse and they argued about everything (she called him an a**h**e at a restaurant they took me too). Maybe the placement agency sensed this situation. This may of course be a bad example. I am sure there are a lot of positive stories. In terms of the concern about Indian food etc., I am sure the matches are made on the basis of the child's personality. Good luck.

hmm....thanks for the post, kris.

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Sun Feb 01, 2015 12:22 pm

Are you thinking of raising a foster kid - as an alternative to adopting a kid?

Then drop the idea. Foster kids can be any age - not necessarily your choice - with many anger and other unknown psychological issues. They end up staying with you for a few weeks to several months before being shunted off to some other family. You and your house will be watched by social services VERY closely - especially that you dont belong to one of the traditional groups.

Your intention may be noble...but watch it.

by nevada Sun Feb 01, 2015 2:08 pm

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:Are you thinking of raising a foster kid - as an alternative to adopting a kid?

Then drop the idea. Foster kids can be any age - not necessarily your choice - with many anger and other unknown psychological issues. They end up staying with you for a few weeks to several months before being shunted off to some other family. You and your house will be watched by social services VERY closely - especially that you dont belong to one of the traditional groups.

Your intention may be noble...but watch it.

+1. Having someone live with you full time is a HUGE commitment. Think twice, thrice, 10 times before doing something like this.

by Guest Mon Feb 02, 2015 11:50 am

Thanks for the advice/warnings. I am contemplating on the idea, but nothing concrete yet. Convincing my hubby is going to be a challenge too.
I do work on foster kids once in a while and so have access to their medical records. Yes, I am aware of the psychological and physical issues most of them have (from depression, nervous breakdowns, anger management to suicidal tendencies and VDs even among 14-15 yr old girls).
I did talk to some of the foster parents about the ups and downs of foster parenting and read the info on the net. This is something i'd love to do and i believe i'll be a good foster mom.
We can choose the age group, upps. If i get to do it, i'll choose teens as that is the group that is in most need of foster parents, i believe.They could also benefit from the excellent school district that i live in.
This is the least treaded path for desis as of yet, unfortunately.

by southindian Mon Feb 02, 2015 12:09 pm

Why not support an under privileged, poor bright child in India. You money can do wonders there.

by Guest Mon Feb 02, 2015 12:14 pm

I don't think I will do foster care. too much responsibility. Emotional one.

The kid(s) will most likely think you are bad. and if they think you are good, they may expect you to adopt them or something.

Is there a limit on how long one can keep a foster kid?

by Guest Mon Feb 02, 2015 12:35 pm

southindian wrote:Why not support an under privileged, poor bright child in India. You money can do wonders there.

I already am. I joined my mom's domestic help's son (a school drop out at that time) in a private school in 4th grade and sponsoring his education since then. He's in 1st year undergrad in Nizam's college now. A brilliant and very motivated kid. Stood 2nd in college within his group in intermediate (+2). Has big dreams! He wants to be an IAS officer (he belongs to the SC category. That should help too).

The other one is a girl from bombay who i sponsored through an agency (shama). I nvr met her, but i get her pix, greeting cards, school progress reports and medical reports every year. She wants to be a teacher. A beautiful girl!

by Guest Mon Feb 02, 2015 12:48 pm

Kinnera wrote:
southindian wrote:Why not support an under privileged, poor bright child in India. You money can do wonders there.
I already am. I joined my mom's domestic help's son (a school drop out at that time) in a private school in 4th grade and sponsoring his education since then. He's in 1st year undergrad in Nizam's college now. A brilliant and very motivated kid. Stood 2nd in college within his group in intermediate (+2). Has big dreams! He wants to be an IAS officer (he belongs to the SC category. That should help too).

The other one is a girl from bombay who i sponsored through an agency (shama). I nvr met her, but i get her pix, greeting cards, school progress reports and medical reports every year. She wants to be a teacher. A beautiful girl!

that's a v good thing that you are doing. clap

by Guest Mon Feb 02, 2015 1:18 pm

Beatrix Kiddo wrote:
Kinnera wrote:
southindian wrote:Why not support an under privileged, poor bright child in India. You money can do wonders there.
I already am. I joined my mom's domestic help's son (a school drop out at that time) in a private school in 4th grade and sponsoring his education since then. He's in 1st year undergrad in Nizam's college now. A brilliant and very motivated kid. Stood 2nd in college within his group in intermediate (+2). Has big dreams! He wants to be an IAS officer (he belongs to the SC category. That should help too).

The other one is a girl from bombay who i sponsored through an agency (shama). I nvr met her, but i get her pix, greeting cards, school progress reports and medical reports every year. She wants to be a teacher. A beautiful girl!

that's a v good thing that you are doing.

Gotta believe in karma, i guess. When my younger was 9, he was stuck with a 104 temp 24/7. The doctors didn't know what was causing it. He had to be hospitalized for 9 days. They speculated every possible ailment on earth, from cat scratch disease to lukemia. Tough time ! Finally, he got fine on his own and they declared it as kikuchi's disease (infection by an unknown virus). Anyway, older was around 12 at the time. That 9 days in the hospital was a turning point in his life, he wrote in his med school essay. That's when he decided to become a doc. That's one thing. 'The look of desperation on my mom's face is something that i can never forget in my life' he wrote. Embarassed

I kinda had a mannath that if sonny got better, i'd do something good. When he got better, instead of dropping some amount in a temple hundi, i decided to sponsor this domestic maid's son's education. And that changed his life. That's another one.

Seeing the older get into medicine, the younger got motivated too and wants to get into medical research. That decision is sort of a turning point for him. He changed from a reckless, arrogant teenager to a mature and responsible kid. He's totally motivated now and acing all his subjects (touchwood). I hope he realizes his dream.

One illness....three lives changed.

The little girl....it was Nevada who gave a link to shama on sulekha (the topic came up sometime later and he doesn't even r'ber that he did). We've been sponsoring her since 1st grade. She's in 8th now. Don't know how well the money is really being used, but it isn't much. So, chalega. We get our tax breaks every year tongue

.

by Guest Mon Feb 02, 2015 1:34 pm

Talking abt sponsoring....Sankara Netralaya is doing an awesome job, i heard. When the older worked briefly, i made him sponsor a 'single cataract surgery every year'. It's $900 (he gave 400, i chipped in 500). He chose his b'day as the day of the surgery. So every year, a cataract surgery will be performed on his b'day and the details of the surgery (the pic, address of the patient, etc) will be sent to him. It goes on forever. The first surgery was done on his b'day last year and the details emailed to him. He was pretty excited about it.

If anyone is interested, here are the details:

https://donatenow.networkforgood.org/1416458

by southindian Mon Feb 02, 2015 1:36 pm

Kinnera wrote:
southindian wrote:Why not support an under privileged, poor bright child in India. You money can do wonders there.
I already am. I joined my mom's domestic help's son (a school drop out at that time) in a private school in 4th grade and sponsoring his education since then. He's in 1st year undergrad in Nizam's college now. A brilliant and very motivated kid. Stood 2nd in college within his group in intermediate (+2). Has big dreams! He wants to be an IAS officer (he belongs to the SC category. That should help too).

The other one is a girl from bombay who i sponsored through an agency (shama). I nvr met her, but i get her pix, greeting cards, school progress reports and medical reports every year. She wants to be a teacher. A beautiful girl!

GREAT! What a nice way to give back to the world.

I'm really happy and proud. Lovely!

by Guest Mon Feb 02, 2015 1:50 pm

southindian wrote:
Kinnera wrote:
southindian wrote:Why not support an under privileged, poor bright child in India. You money can do wonders there.
I already am. I joined my mom's domestic help's son (a school drop out at that time) in a private school in 4th grade and sponsoring his education since then. He's in 1st year undergrad in Nizam's college now. A brilliant and very motivated kid. Stood 2nd in college within his group in intermediate (+2). Has big dreams! He wants to be an IAS officer (he belongs to the SC category. That should help too).

The other one is a girl from bombay who i sponsored through an agency (shama). I nvr met her, but i get her pix, greeting cards, school progress reports and medical reports every year. She wants to be a teacher. A beautiful girl!
GREAT! What a nice way to give back to the world.

I'm really happy and proud. Lovely!

Nopes. This is miniscule compared to how much we've received and still receiving from the world, esp in terms of scholarships for my boys' education. I feel very humble and grateful when i think about that.

by Merlot Daruwala Mon Feb 02, 2015 6:28 pm

Kinnera wrote:Thanks for the advice/warnings. I am contemplating on the idea, but nothing concrete yet. Convincing my hubby is going to be a challenge too.
I do work on foster kids once in a while and so have access to their medical records. Yes, I am aware of the psychological and physical issues most of them have (from depression, nervous breakdowns, anger management to suicidal tendencies and VDs even among 14-15 yr old girls).
I did talk to some of the foster parents about the ups and downs of foster parenting and read the info on the net. This is something i'd love to do and i believe i'll be a good foster mom.
We can choose the age group, upps. If i get to do it, i'll choose teens as that is the group that is in most need of foster parents, i believe.They could also benefit from the excellent school district that i live in.
This is the least treaded path for desis as of yet, unfortunately.

Me, me...Kinny, adopt me. I love Indian food too.

by Guest Mon Feb 02, 2015 8:46 pm

Merlot Daruwala wrote:
Kinnera wrote:Thanks for the advice/warnings. I am contemplating on the idea, but nothing concrete yet. Convincing my hubby is going to be a challenge too.
I do work on foster kids once in a while and so have access to their medical records. Yes, I am aware of the psychological and physical issues most of them have (from depression, nervous breakdowns, anger management to suicidal tendencies and VDs even among 14-15 yr old girls).
I did talk to some of the foster parents about the ups and downs of foster parenting and read the info on the net. This is something i'd love to do and i believe i'll be a good foster mom.
We can choose the age group, upps. If i get to do it, i'll choose teens as that is the group that is in most need of foster parents, i believe.They could also benefit from the excellent school district that i live in.
This is the least treaded path for desis as of yet, unfortunately.

Me, me...Kinny, adopt me. I love Indian food too.

. Drop by when you come to ATL. No need for the adoption janjhat for the sake of indian food.

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