Indo-Pak fight in America

So like... she is a graduate student (GS) and she has a classmate who is a married Pakistani girl. The Pakistani girl is one of those extrovert, aggressive go-getter types who is not used to taking 'no' for an answer. This is the complete opposite of my GS, a balanced, lively Puerto Rican, who is young and brought-up in a strict house, so that she is not too demanding and has occasional self-doubts. The two girls were in the same project / activity teams for two courses this past semester and it has been a highly exasperating situation.

To begin with, the Paki girl tries to impose her own will and preferences on everything, trying to rule the teams for both courses like she is the de facto leader (which she is, to be honest). She's stepped on the GS's toes countless times and I've had to bear the brunt of the GS's unhappiness and complaints.

As if that's not enough, the Paki girl's husband is a professor in the same college, in what our South Indians would term as a 'sister department'. Another extrovert, handsome fella who looks somewhere between a young Prem Chopra and an older Shashi Kapoor. This prof husband has considerable knowledge, lots of useful inputs and no insignificant opinions about the projects and reports that his wife's student teams were working on. He became their informal mentor / guide, reviewing, approving and rejecting every single piece of deliberable they worked on - typed reports, designs & diagrams, models, etc. He's rejected and asked for rework of pretty much everything my GS tried to do. It was infuriating the number of hours he sucked out of the GS's life and our relationship's life during the past semester. The GS even cried once due to his harsh comments on a presentation she prepared. I thought it was highly unethical for a real professor to get so closely involved in the academic work of students and influence their output. The GS's team put him on a pedestal because he had useful inputs that helped them get 'A' grades. I seem to be the only person who realizes or cares that all his meddling and spoon-feeding pretty much ruined the learning experience of 6 students in two courses.

Things came to a head a few days ago when the team decided to go out to celebrate their 'A' grades in the two courses. The Paki couple insisting on imposing their preferences on what we would do to celebrate, where we would go to eat, etc. I lost it when they tried to make the GS order something against her preference. I interjected, banter turned to argument, I accused him of ruining their learning experience for the entire semester, he flew into an apoplectic rage, a drink was 'accidentally' spilled on his lap, there was a brief tussle before we were pulled apart by shocked friends and well-wishers. A brief mutual apology in the parking lot brought the evening to an early close, but the GS made great use of the extra time in bed when we got home.

Nice story... I can see you getting totally wrapped up in your girlfriend's daily college life... good going..

btw, just coz you are desi, he is paki, and you fought doesn't make it an indo-pak fight... you fought simply you want you control your girlfriend more than they were.

Tracy Whitney wrote:Nice story... I can see you getting totally wrapped up in your girlfriend's daily college life... good going..

No kidding! Apparently, three courses per semester, three classes per week, max three-person teams create more drama, need more working hours per week, cause real tears, produce greater emotional swings in everybody directly or indirectly connected, if it's a girl involved. In contrast, I have many more projects worth millions of dollars, involving many bigger teams. I work an average of 40 hours per week and usually don't bring home any drama or problems.

This has been true of almost every girl I date. Their lives have a lot more things happening, they have many dramatic incidents to recount on a daily basis, they need a lot of comforting and advice and attention, I end up caring and getting concerned a lot more, and I often end up wishing I could just click a button and solve all their problems. Is everybody's lives like this or only girls'? In contrast, I seem to have an amazingly easy, drama-free life.