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Panacea

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Post by charvaka Tue May 31, 2011 5:24 pm

Study: All American Problems Could Be Solved By Just Stopping And Thinking For Two Seconds

http://www.theonion.com/articles/study-all-american-problems-could-be-solved-by-jus,20515/

May 27, 2011 | ISSUE 47•21

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CHAPEL HILL, NC—A study published Thursday by psychologists
at the University of North Carolina concluded that all American
problems—from stuck jacket zippers to the national debt—could be solved
if citizens just stopped, took a deep breath, and thought for two
seconds before they acted. "We found that in 93 percent of cases, a
positive outcome could have been achieved if Americans simply splashed a
little water on their faces prior to dealing with an unfair boss, being
out of clean spoons, signing on to direct a second Wall Street
film, or answering a call from a parent," Janet Mallory, the study's
lead author, told reporters. "Our data indicate that when U.S. citizens
don't take a second to compose themselves, they typically charge in like
maniacs and hurt either themselves or several million Iraqi civilians."
Mallory said a good rule of thumb for Americans is to think of a plan,
stop, and then do the complete opposite.


Last edited by charvaka on Tue May 31, 2011 5:29 pm; edited 1 time in total
charvaka
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Post by Hellsangel Tue May 31, 2011 5:25 pm

And I thought you were suggesting a new sultry ID for Impedimenta.
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