Middle age: the worst age to be.

by Guest Sun Jul 10, 2011 11:47 am

One parent with serious heart issues.
Another in severe joint pains.
One kid may have growth issues.
Another keep getting into accidents.

The other half is lost in a career maze
You are like an end-to-end burner
Mortgage is looming large
College tuition is 'round the corner.

The body isn't what it was
You color but keep spotting the gray
You call someone as elderly
To realize you're just 5 years away

One day you will pass this phase
Become a contended head of silver
You will then have your own meds
And your own middle-aged worrier

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Sun Jul 10, 2011 12:13 pm

Wait until you reach the old age, and you will swear the old age is the worst to be - with shortage of money for medicine, lack of physical help, hospital bills, pseudo-derision from others, etc...etc.. (the way the Social security, medicare, the economy, dollar downgrade is all going...)

by Guest Sun Jul 10, 2011 12:26 pm

Maybe. But atleast you are not stressed about being responsible for so many other people. You are done with major responsibilities, and that includes securing your own old age.

by Kris Sun Jul 10, 2011 1:39 pm

The biggest advantage: you have alzheimers, so you are constantly making new friends..

Smile

by .|Sublime|. Sun Jul 10, 2011 1:57 pm

easy to say but hard to practice - one does not know what the future holds. so enjoy the present. no point over-analyzing the future at the risk of ruining the present.
someone i know committed suicide recently. just out of blue - at least that is how it seems to everyone he left behind. he left behind a wife and two kids. they are completely traumatized and are struggling to cope. everyone who knew him well are struggling to make sense of this but unable to. life happened and missed talking to him that weekend.
as i said, one never knows what the future holds. middle age, old age...just enjoy life.

by Guest Sun Jul 10, 2011 2:03 pm

.|Sublime|. wrote:
someone i know committed suicide recently. just out of blue - at least that is how it seems to everyone he left behind. he left behind a wife and two kids. they are completely traumatized and are struggling to cope. everyone who knew him well are struggling to make sense of this but unable to. life happened and missed talking to him that weekend.

Same happened with a friend last summer. My age. Left behind a young wife and son.

Dunno what the future holds, but I guess for most of us, this is the age when there's the most stress, and I guess it continues till the kids are older. And I guess the nature also kinda positions you that way, coz this is all when you are at your strongest.

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Sun Jul 10, 2011 9:14 pm

Tracy Whitney wrote:
.|Sublime|. wrote:
someone i know committed suicide recently. just out of blue - at least that is how it seems to everyone he left behind. he left behind a wife and two kids. they are completely traumatized and are struggling to cope. everyone who knew him well are struggling to make sense of this but unable to. life happened and missed talking to him that weekend.

Same happened with a friend last summer. My age. Left behind a young wife and son.

Dunno what the future holds, but I guess for most of us, this is the age when there's the most stress, and I guess it continues till the kids are older. And I guess the nature also kinda positions you that way, coz this is all when you are at your strongest.

ok hear this story... here is - what I call a "successful" middle class family. one kid a masters from a "private univ" (obviously MUST be good.... rite?), and another kid merit scholar. Suddenly, hubby - a PhD - loses job. Son marries a girl - same castu etc... but still the mother does not like the girl and has been telling everyone she meets). Now, the couple thinks their entire life and efforts are wasted a their only son ends up marrying someone they done like.

So...their middle age must have been ideal as everything was great, but now they think everything has gone wild in their lives.

by Kris Sun Jul 10, 2011 10:42 pm

Son marries a girl - same castu etc... but still the mother does not like the girl and has been telling everyone she meets).

>>>> Wait, is the girl a CH'er ?

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Sun Jul 10, 2011 10:48 pm

Kris wrote: Son marries a girl - same castu etc... but still the mother does not like the girl and has been telling everyone she meets).

>>>> Wait, is the girl a CH'er ?

possible, but not likely.

by Kris Sun Jul 10, 2011 10:59 pm

hmm, I have a hunch though

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Sun Jul 10, 2011 11:10 pm

may be correct, but not likely - bcz there are a couple of cases that I know are in similar situations - a few years apart and a couple of years ago.

by Guest Sun Jul 10, 2011 11:21 pm

when does middle age start? at wat age i mean, 50? 40 maybe?

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Sun Jul 10, 2011 11:49 pm

seven wrote:when does middle age start? at wat age i mean, 50? 40 maybe?

@97

by Merlot Daruwala Mon Jul 11, 2011 12:32 am

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote: Son marries a girl - same castu etc... but still the mother does not like the girl and has been telling everyone she meets). Now, the couple thinks their entire life and efforts are wasted a their only son ends up marrying someone they done like.

If this wasn't so pathetic, it would actually be quite funny. No sympathy for such clingy parents and their self-created angst.

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Mon Jul 11, 2011 12:39 am

Merlot Daruwala wrote:
Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote: Son marries a girl - same castu etc... but still the mother does not like the girl and has been telling everyone she meets). Now, the couple thinks their entire life and efforts are wasted a their only son ends up marrying someone they done like.

If this wasn't so pathetic, it would actually be quite funny. No sympathy for such clingy parents and their self-created angst.

Exactly. They should be happy that their kid married someone in love instead of marrying someone they love. Such people are pathetic morons.

by charvaka Mon Jul 11, 2011 12:56 am

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:ok hear this story...

For a second, I thought you were going to one-up Sublime's story. But this story is pathetic. Those idiotic parents deserve their unhappiness.

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:So...their middle age must have been ideal as everything was great, but now they think everything has gone wild in their lives.

They had a choice of being happy for their son, and they chose unhappiness.

by garam_kuta Mon Jul 11, 2011 1:24 pm

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
Merlot Daruwala wrote:
Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote: Son marries a girl - same castu etc... but still the mother does not like the girl and has been telling everyone she meets). Now, the couple thinks their entire life and efforts are wasted a their only son ends up marrying someone they done like.

If this wasn't so pathetic, it would actually be quite funny. No sympathy for such clingy parents and their self-created angst.

Exactly. They should be happy that their kid married someone in love instead of marrying someone they love. Such people are pathetic morons.

may be it doesn't matter anymore as both will end in divorce - as they all, these days Sad

by Propagandhi711 Mon Jul 11, 2011 1:32 pm

my friend went to vegas this weekend. abruptly, out of the blue. left his wife and kids behind to cope. again, abruptly

by Propagandhi711 Mon Jul 11, 2011 1:35 pm

charvaka wrote:
Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:ok hear this story...
For a second, I thought you were going to one-up Sublime's story. But this story is pathetic. Those idiotic parents deserve their unhappiness.

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:So...their middle age must have been ideal as everything was great, but now they think everything has gone wild in their lives.
They had a choice of being happy for their son, and they chose unhappiness.

or as one nonentity person in the past quoted yet another famous person from farther in the past, "or did happiness chose them?" profound? thought you would say that.

by Guest Mon Jul 11, 2011 1:39 pm

Propagandhi711 wrote:my friend went to vegas this weekend. abruptly, out of the blue. left his wife and kids behind to cope. again, abruptly

your friend went? really?

by Propagandhi711 Mon Jul 11, 2011 1:44 pm

Tracy Whitney wrote:
Propagandhi711 wrote:my friend went to vegas this weekend. abruptly, out of the blue. left his wife and kids behind to cope. again, abruptly

your friend went? really?

really. he plumb left, leaving kids and wife in the wake, like loose leaves in a thunderstorm. per latest reports, he's playing the 10k wsop main event and venetian deep stack. hasnt come back yet Sad

by Guest Mon Jul 11, 2011 1:52 pm

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
seven wrote:when does middle age start? at wat age i mean, 50? 40 maybe?

@97

that would be if average human age was 200

anyway this thread is not for me. i dont wana know which age is worse etc. people here are depressingly obsessed with age i see.

by Guest Mon Jul 11, 2011 1:52 pm

I think you should intervene. Call maybe?

by Mr. T Mon Jul 11, 2011 3:44 pm

Tracy Whitney wrote:One parent with serious heart issues.
Another in severe joint pains.
One kid may have growth issues.
Another keep getting into accidents.

The other half is lost in a career maze
You are like an end-to-end burner
Mortgage is looming large
College tuition is 'round the corner.

The body isn't what it was
You color but keep spotting the gray
You call someone as elderly
To realize you're just 5 years away

One day you will pass this phase
Become a contended head of silver
You will then have your own meds
And your own middle-aged worrier

Says who !!!? It is the best age to be...you are the boss of your own, you are at your peak physically. You are the least dependent at this stage...everything on either side of this phase is moot.

by Rekz Tue Jul 12, 2011 9:58 am

seven wrote:when does middle age start? at wat age i mean, 50? 40 maybe?

Middle age:40 to 60yrs...

by SomeProfile Tue Jul 12, 2011 11:28 am

The more I hear stories of married people, the more I feel like I have been dodging a bullet so far by escaping marriage (just this thread has two suicides, one Las Vegas run-away, two family problems, etc.). Really, what is the advantage for a man of getting married?

At best, wife and children seem to be HUGE responsibilities that hold you back, cramp your freedom, etc., with a rare few moments of joy and love thrown here and there. I am yet to hear of a best case married scenario where love and joy happens more often than 'occasional / rare'. Where as, the responsibilities, lack of freedom, etc. is a constant. As for the worst case scenario... well, I don't even want to speculate about it. The countless ways things can go wrong are downright scary.

I look back at all the women who have come and gone out of my life. Most of them were beautiful. Some of them were fabulous... not just in looks, but in other ways also. Taken in isolation, looking at them from certain selective points of view, they seem almost perfect - great looks, brains, talent, passion, etc. But as we got to know each other, eventually they all turned out to be just the typical woman - constantly discontent, finding some fault or the other with me, with themselves, with the relationship and any combination thereof, frequently needing support and reassurance and validation and confirmation. If things were like that at just the dating stage, I can only imagine how it would be after we got married.

Really, when I am quiet, calm and not blinded by romance or passion, I am yet to be convinced of the advantages of being married over being single, for a man, in today's world.

by SomeProfile Tue Jul 12, 2011 11:33 am

Just want to add - when I read The Absolute Zero's latest frustrations with his wife (accident, lack of accountability and responsibility, absolutely no care or empathy for TAZ's valid concerns), I felt such a relief for not being married. Really, what do you do in such a situation, knowing that you are tied to this stupid, uncaring thing for life? No wonder guys want to leave everything and run away to Las Vegas.

Same thing with doofus DM's stories of marital life. Scary horror stories!

by Propagandhi711 Tue Jul 12, 2011 11:45 am

SomeProfile wrote:The more I hear stories of married people, the more I feel like I have been dodging a bullet so far by escaping marriage (just this thread has two suicides, one Las Vegas run-away, two family problems, etc.). Really, what is the advantage for a man of getting married?

At best, wife and children seem to be HUGE responsibilities that hold you back, cramp your freedom, etc., with a rare few moments of joy and love thrown here and there. I am yet to hear of a best case married scenario where love and joy happens more often than 'occasional / rare'. Where as, the responsibilities, lack of freedom, etc. is a constant. As for the worst case scenario... well, I don't even want to speculate about it. The countless ways things can go wrong are downright scary.

I look back at all the women who have come and gone out of my life. Most of them were beautiful. Some of them were fabulous... not just in looks, but in other ways also. Taken in isolation, looking at them from certain selective points of view, they seem almost perfect - great looks, brains, talent, passion, etc. But as we got to know each other, eventually they all turned out to be just the typical woman - constantly discontent, finding some fault or the other with me, with themselves, with the relationship and any combination thereof, frequently needing support and reassurance and validation and confirmation. If things were like that at just the dating stage, I can only imagine how it would be after we got married.

Really, when I am quiet, calm and not blinded by romance or passion, I am yet to be convinced of the advantages of being married over being single, for a man, in today's world.

the same goes for life. but one misanthrope to misogyne, women are best when they're not exactly sure about their standing with you. if you make them feel too comfortable, they get really comfortable, grow their ass horizantally, get lazy and stop catering to your gastronomical, ironical** & sexual needs. then all their nasty characteristics come out - jealousy, bitchiness, gossipiness and overall sitontheirfatassness. OTOH, if you keep them too unbalanced, they become vindictive & insecure and make your life miserable and will sabotage you in general.

the key is to find a happy medium. but in final analysis, it's dependent on person to person. you could get real unlucky and get a pravalika. or you could lucky and get a nice woman. or everything in between, which is more likely. same goes for women - they could get you, me, toothseeker, uppili, rashmun...

by Mr. T Tue Jul 12, 2011 11:49 am

SomeProfile wrote:The more I hear stories of married people, the more I feel like I have been dodging a bullet so far by escaping marriage (just this thread has two suicides, one Las Vegas run-away, two family problems, etc.). Really, what is the advantage for a man of getting married?

At best, wife and children seem to be HUGE responsibilities that hold you back, cramp your freedom, etc., with a rare few moments of joy and love thrown here and there. I am yet to hear of a best case married scenario where love and joy happens more often than 'occasional / rare'. Where as, the responsibilities, lack of freedom, etc. is a constant. As for the worst case scenario... well, I don't even want to speculate about it. The countless ways things can go wrong are downright scary.

I look back at all the women who have come and gone out of my life. Most of them were beautiful. Some of them were fabulous... not just in looks, but in other ways also. Taken in isolation, looking at them from certain selective points of view, they seem almost perfect - great looks, brains, talent, passion, etc. But as we got to know each other, eventually they all turned out to be just the typical woman - constantly discontent, finding some fault or the other with me, with themselves, with the relationship and any combination thereof, frequently needing support and reassurance and validation and confirmation. If things were like that at just the dating stage, I can only imagine how it would be after we got married.

Really, when I am quiet, calm and not blinded by romance or passion, I am yet to be convinced of the advantages of being married over being single, for a man, in today's world.

Just my two cents..

There are many reasons not to get married, but being afraid things could go wrong should not be one of them. That again is really just my prespective, different people have different priorities and outlook. Yes marriage is not a "happy life ever after" but certainly there are moments.

by garam_kuta Tue Jul 12, 2011 11:53 am

Propagandhi711 wrote:
SomeProfile wrote:The more I hear stories of married people, the more I feel like I have been dodging a bullet so far by escaping marriage (just this thread has two suicides, one Las Vegas run-away, two family problems, etc.). Really, what is the advantage for a man of getting married?

At best, wife and children seem to be HUGE responsibilities that hold you back, cramp your freedom, etc., with a rare few moments of joy and love thrown here and there. I am yet to hear of a best case married scenario where love and joy happens more often than 'occasional / rare'. Where as, the responsibilities, lack of freedom, etc. is a constant. As for the worst case scenario... well, I don't even want to speculate about it. The countless ways things can go wrong are downright scary.

I look back at all the women who have come and gone out of my life. Most of them were beautiful. Some of them were fabulous... not just in looks, but in other ways also. Taken in isolation, looking at them from certain selective points of view, they seem almost perfect - great looks, brains, talent, passion, etc. But as we got to know each other, eventually they all turned out to be just the typical woman - constantly discontent, finding some fault or the other with me, with themselves, with the relationship and any combination thereof, frequently needing support and reassurance and validation and confirmation. If things were like that at just the dating stage, I can only imagine how it would be after we got married.

Really, when I am quiet, calm and not blinded by romance or passion, I am yet to be convinced of the advantages of being married over being single, for a man, in today's world.

the same goes for life. but one misanthrope to misogyne, women are best when they're not exactly sure about their standing with you. if you make them feel too comfortable, they get really comfortable, grow their ass horizantally, get lazy and stop catering to your gastronomical, ironical** & sexual needs. then all their nasty characteristics come out - jealousy, bitchiness, gossipiness and overall sitontheirfatassness. OTOH, if you keep them too unbalanced, they become vindictive & insecure and make your life miserable and will sabotage you in general.

the key is to find a happy medium. but in final analysis, it's dependent on person to person. you could get real unlucky and get a pravalika. or you could lucky and get a nice woman. or everything in between, which is more likely. same goes for women - they could get you, me, toothseeker, uppili, rashmun...

S P - here is an XX perspective - perhaps in response to your views above
http://forums.sulekha.com/forums/coffeehouse/the-evolution-of-marriage-1121507.htm#1121508

by Rekz Tue Jul 12, 2011 1:00 pm

If sp=propagandhi711 my humble request is,u both stay single rest of ur life...a innocent girl's life will be saved...

by Guest Tue Jul 12, 2011 1:01 pm

Rekz wrote:If sp=propagandhi711 my humble request is,u both stay single rest of ur life...a innocent girl's life will be saved...

But what about the many innocent single girls that will come his way?

by Mr. T Tue Jul 12, 2011 1:04 pm

Rekz wrote:If sp=propagandhi711 my humble request is,u both stay single rest of ur life...a innocent girl's life will be saved...

Be carefull of what you wish for ....

by Rekz Tue Jul 12, 2011 1:15 pm

Rekz wrote:If sp=propagandhi711 my humble request is,u both stay single rest of ur life...a innocent girl's life will be saved...

okka minuteu...b4 both of them attack me...not that im scared Razz

@Tracy-My analysis is they do be bad husbands but good dad...bad boyfriends but good neighbours
something like that... Smile

& abt single girls who happen come into their lives Question

...i dont know let them figure out

by Guest Tue Jul 12, 2011 1:16 pm

I meant, let one innocent girl take the fall. So many others would be saved.

by Mr. T Tue Jul 12, 2011 1:17 pm

Tracy Whitney wrote:I meant, let one innocent girl take the fall. So many others would be saved.

Hmm....if only !!!!

by Rekz Tue Jul 12, 2011 1:26 pm

Tracy Whitney wrote:I meant, let one innocent girl take the fall. So many others would be saved.

dating scene girls are aware of them na....but when it comes to marriage u never know...they might reel suthify (lie) saying they are nice eligible guys Razz

by Mr. T Tue Jul 12, 2011 1:27 pm

Rekz wrote:
Tracy Whitney wrote:I meant, let one innocent girl take the fall. So many others would be saved.

dating scene girls are aware of them na....but when it comes to marriage u never know...they might reel suthify (lie) saying they are nice eligible guys

Haven't you heard the term..."Love is blind" !!!?

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