Table For One

Almost makes you guilty to be walking alone into a happening place coz you need to have your fix of pani puri and chaat. I mean, there are people waiting and the tables are limited, is it really ok for you to occupy one entire table for yourself, in a family restaurant where the minimum table size is four? I have done many solo lunches. And I have done quick bites in a fast food place, or in a desi place earlier in the evening, before anyone else shows up (e.g. before going to a movie). But dinner primetime has its own vibe in a popular restaurant, and I have never done it alone. Yes, i am an introvert, and yes i have some level of social anxiety.

So on a Friday night out of all nights, I walked in my new fave haunt, and could immediately sense some people take a second look at me. Am I really sticking out coz I am walking alone? Anyway, I go in and ask for a table for one. The manager looked at me strangely, and confirmed, table for One? Yes. 

He nodded and smiled and put me on waiting, like they would do to everyone, coz thank god it’s not yet proper to deny services to solo customers. He asked for my name and phone number, and for a second, I wondered, ‘should I just order a take out?’ But heck I’m hungry. My drive is 28 min back home. It won’t be fun to unpack pani puri, or to assemble chaat, and then wash my dinner plate. Besides, it’s not like anyone is waiting at home, the kids are busy and manage their own meals anyway. Above all, I’m fifty frigging one, why am I hesitating? So I give my phone number.

I walk out to nearby places and pack stuff for home. In about ten minutes, the manager called me and nicely asked me to come in. The usher girl stared at me confused, and then asked me, Madam table for how many? One, I smiled. The waiter was still cleaning the table. Sneaks a look at me, and asks, madam how many. One. Big nod. Then another guy comes for the plate setting, trying not make any eye contact. Madam how many? One. Big hesitant nod. Sigh. Pitiful, for me. I could have waited till we were three, or better still , gone in for a  table for ten and given them opposite kind of stress. But those days happen once in a blue moon, and a girl gotta enjoy. So here I am, a proud occupant of a table for one. 

PS: to avoid looking at folks until food came, the writer of this piece was typing this up all until her food arrived. Then she forgot the room, and began her pani puri eating ritual that she has perfected in last 27 years in this country.

PPS: before going to eat, the same writer had gone to a devi temple for navratri, and applied tikka on her forehead herself. After reaching back home, she realized that she had put on two prominent dots in the middle of her brows. Kinda adds up why everyone were giving her strange looks at the restaurant. They must be wondering, seen long stripes and seen wide stripes, even seen two-dot combos of chadan/haldi/ kumkum, but who the heck in what part of India puts two oddly placed saffron colored bindis on their forehead?!! 

PPPS: the meal was heavenly, and the pani puri hit the exact spot that was itching in the writer’s soul. But the writer was overwhelmed by the traffic situation, and will resort back to doordashing and laptopping on her rickety couch in future, but will no longer hesitate to go to fancy places for dinner just coz she’s alone. She might even consider solo travels!

The importance of making your own rules--You are finally liberated. 

Kris wrote:The importance of making your own rules--You are finally liberated. 

Work in Progress

But i do feel proud of myself how little i invested myself in this presidential race. I shut myself off all media, even standup, just coz i didn't want to think about it. Logically, I knew Biden's and then Harris' chances were slim, so i didn't want to get hopeful. I did go out and vote. I did watch a lot of coverage of the election night, just in case there was a magical plot-twist. And i did resort to watching some comedy later for laughs. But i feel very liberated about not caring. I will care next election (provided we get to have one haha), when both parties will put up serious candidates, hopefully.