Are 15 yr old girls a nightmare to raise for a parent?

by TruthSeeker Thu Aug 17, 2017 1:01 am

Are 15 yr old girls a nightmare to raise for a parent?

I am thinking counselling at this point.

How do you raise a rebellion 15 yr old girl?

Any experience please?

TIA,
TS.

by Guest Thu Aug 17, 2017 11:27 am

From a child, she's becoming a young adult and trying to assert her individuality and trying to resist any kind of control. Let her be. Don't impose your views or conditions on her. As long as she is in the company of good friends, getting good grades and not doing drugs or other crazy stuff, she's fine. Just sit back and relax. Choose your battles, only if you have to. Don't fuss over every damn thing.

by TruthSeeker Thu Aug 17, 2017 10:47 pm

Hmm. Thanks. That makes me feel better. But is it normal to be locked up in your room most of the time, esp. when summer vacation is on. She refuses to go out - movies, dinners, Indian get together's, graduation parties of others. I am seriously thinking of taking that damn door off screws for her room. Yes, she is fine with studies, goes for her violin without asking. Has joined field hockey recently to play 4 hours daily, at least this week. She only asked me to put her in a private christian high school, where she is the only Indian. Is that the reason? She does go to Patricia and Katherine's house for sleepovers. I cant go camping or skiing or any overnight getaway as a family, because she refuses to come. Is she mad at us, the parents? I asked her directly. Most times, she avoids us. There are times when she opens up as a friend, but those are rare and far in between. I just want her to be happy.

Thanks again for sharing your insights.

Regards,
TS.

by FluteHolder Fri Aug 18, 2017 12:20 am

by TruthSeeker Fri Aug 18, 2017 1:37 am

Hi FH,

Thank you. I watched this video, and more related.

Parents are ONLY a medium to bring life to this planet, but parents are primarily responsible for their child's happiness? Or should we leave it on their own sense of independence because they are intelligent?

Parents always only try to protect, and provide the best they can for their child's happiness.

It is NOT about control.

I was a rebel myself, and nothing matters to me more than my own independence of thoughts and actions.

To control another human is a sin. Even when they are 15 months old.

But I must ensure as a parent that my child is happy.

Regards,
TS.

by Seva Lamberdar Fri Aug 18, 2017 9:47 am

Guest wrote:From a child, she's becoming a young adult and trying to assert her individuality and trying to resist any kind of control. Let her be. Don't impose your views or conditions on her. As long as she is in the company of good friends, getting good grades and not doing drugs or other crazy stuff, she's fine. Just sit back and relax. Choose your battles, only if you have to. Don't fuss over every damn thing.

Good suggestion.

by Guest Fri Aug 18, 2017 10:36 am

TruthSeeker wrote:Hmm. Thanks. That makes me feel better. But is it normal to be locked up in your room most of the time, esp. when summer vacation is on. She refuses to go out - movies, dinners, Indian get together's, graduation parties of others. I am seriously thinking of taking that damn door off screws for her room. Yes, she is fine with studies, goes for her violin without asking. Has joined field hockey recently to play 4 hours daily, at least this week. She only asked me to put her in a private christian high school, where she is the only Indian. Is that the reason? She does go to Patricia and Katherine's house for sleepovers. I cant go camping or skiing or any overnight getaway as a family, because she refuses to come. Is she mad at us, the parents? I asked her directly. Most times, she avoids us. There are times when she opens up as a friend, but those are rare and far in between. I just want her to be happy.

Thanks again for sharing your insights.

Regards,
TS.

I will not comment on your daughter's behavior, except to keep patience, coz I don't know much. But will tell a story of my own, and you can see if you want to apply it to yourself.

I r'ber when I was that age, I used to just sit and stare out the window sometimes. Actually many times. Or walk aimlessly. One day my mom got really frustrated how I was wasting my time when I could be studying or doing anything in that time. Dad stopped her right away, and said, 'she is a teenager. a hundred thoughts and emotions are going through her head right now. Let her process it out. Let her think. Coz if she thinks she will form her ideologies. If you don't let her think at this age, how will she develop her personality? So give her time and don't break her thoughts'. And he went on to stretch how it is to have some time of your own, especially at this age. And how this is not time wasted, but very crucial for her overall development.

I kinda sorta agree with that. It's better to have a self assured strong, or reclusive, or even opinionated personality than to have no self-identity, coz then those kind of people, especially women, tend to go on to have a complicated adulthood that's full of low self esteem and resulting complications.

by TruthSeeker Mon Aug 21, 2017 9:59 pm

I dont know much either. From what I gather - she needs her "space". Which is ok. But it cannot be 24/7 is my point. But I shall let her be, as if I can or cannot (thats my point) which I already do 23/7.

She'll leave for college in 3 years. I am not sure if I'd ever see her again. Terrifying. I just want to create as many memories with her as possible, before she leaves the house.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts always,
TS.

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