Insecurity

by Nila Mon Mar 19, 2012 3:04 pm

How might one's spouse feel when his/her spouse's pursued guy/gal (Note not ex or no relationship at all) shows up after 15-17 years? That pursued being unmarried - how do one take it?

May be a month ago we bumped into this guy who happend to pursue me when I was like 18 or 19 - I don't remember. Actually my husband kinda recognized him and we said hi and bye and that's it. Looks like H is so researching him and he is not even shaving these days.

H seems to not over that and he brings that guys's name whenever we talk provided that we communicate very less.

I am so really annoyed and don't know how to put an end to this.

by chameli Mon Mar 19, 2012 3:15 pm

sasthi ,

reading ur post was so very difficult Sad

but i got the gist

a guy who was fascinated by you many years ago shows up on ur doorstep ..both u and ur husband are speechless

he in particular brings it up all the time since

what should u do .

im sure u are pleased secretly ..ur inner flame might even have been rekindled

but the trick is todeny deny deny and then ignore ignore ignore

if u want to meet this guy on the sly u could ..but remember discretion being the better part of valour

go for it

let the husband feel insecure ..for a change he he

by Nila Mon Mar 19, 2012 3:22 pm

Yes, I was like I din't know how to describe this...but you got the gist! But not on the door step...we met him at the Mall.

I am not pleased...oh pls! I got better things to get pleased. I think H is overreacting. Next time he brings his name I will pretend as such I haven't heard it.

Also, If at all I want it...I will do it the right way! First divorce and then date....LOL

Thanks for your advice, anyway.

by Nila Mon Mar 19, 2012 3:46 pm

Also, my H may not be a good husband but he is a good dad and he is a keeper. LOL *touch wood*

May be when the kids hit college I might think of divorce.

My problem solved. Posting here always helps me! Sigh!

by Guest Mon Mar 19, 2012 5:49 pm

Gist: your husband and you both were good kids.

by Kris Mon Mar 19, 2012 9:51 pm

Sasthi wrote:Yes, I was like I din't know how to describe this...but you got the gist! But not on the door step...we met him at the Mall.

I am not pleased...oh pls! I got better things to get pleased. I think H is overreacting. ...

>>> I think H may be worried this guy is an Amway salesman. If he followed you all the way around the world to make this "chance" encounter happen, I am starting to think this is a distinct possibility.

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Mon Mar 19, 2012 11:52 pm

Sasthi wrote:Also, my H may not be a good husband but he is a good dad and he is a keeper. LOL *touch wood*

May be when the kids hit college I might think of divorce.

My problem solved. Posting here always helps me! Sigh!

There...you gave the answer yourself. Just tell your H that you are not planning to OR will never divorce till kids leave apart. Till then he can rest easy.

P.S. Are you sure that he is not searching for your former flame to beg and take you back?... Wink

by Nila Tue Mar 20, 2012 9:20 am

His drama is very surprising for me! Kidachathey chancennu pugai, thanni, uncontrol match watchingnnu aathulaEllam Kurai Illama Nanathaan poiyittirukku.
Indha dramaKku Pennala Enakku Theriyama something yetho Irukku?

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Tue Mar 20, 2012 9:42 am

Sasthi wrote:His drama is very surprising for me! Kidachathey chancennu pugai, thanni, uncontrol match watchingnnu aathulaEllam Kurai Illama Nanathaan poiyittirukku.
Indha dramaKku Pennala Enakku Theriyama something yetho Irukku?

I don't think so. This is called mid-life crisis and self-doubt. Took you for granted all this time, and now puli varudhu puli vardudhu kadhai, and Ayyavukku ippo bayum.

Marundavanukku Irundathellam pei.

by garam_kuta Tue Mar 20, 2012 9:50 am

Sasthi wrote:His drama is very surprising for me! Kidachathey chancennu pugai, thanni, uncontrol match watchingnnu aathulaEllam Kurai Illama Nanathaan poiyittirukku.
Indha dramaKku Pennala Enakku Theriyama something yetho Irukku?

perhaps you need to let him get more involved with kid's activities. persuade your kids to bother him more than usual and that'd be a good enlightening involvement and diversion. thumbA react mAdubEdi.. neengaLum jaasthi adhai paththi yochanai pannaadheengO.. divert your attention..this anxiety from both sides will settle down soon...

by Nila Tue Mar 20, 2012 9:55 am

garam_kuta wrote:
Sasthi wrote:His drama is very surprising for me! Kidachathey chancennu pugai, thanni, uncontrol match watchingnnu aathulaEllam Kurai Illama Nanathaan poiyittirukku.
Indha dramaKku Pennala Enakku Theriyama something yetho Irukku?

perhaps you need to let him get more involved with kid's activities. persuade your kids to bother him more than usual and that'd be a good enlightening involvement and diversion. thumbA react mAdubEdi.. neengaLum jaasthi adhai paththi yochanai pannaadheengO.. divert your attention..this anxiety from both sides will settle down soon...

Sigh. Okay.

by Nila Tue Mar 20, 2012 9:58 am

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
Sasthi wrote:His drama is very surprising for me! Kidachathey chancennu pugai, thanni, uncontrol match watchingnnu aathulaEllam Kurai Illama Nanathaan poiyittirukku.
Indha dramaKku Pennala Enakku Theriyama something yetho Irukku?

I don't think so. This is called mid-life crisis and self-doubt. Took you for granted all this time, and now puli varudhu puli vardudhu kadhai, and Ayyavukku ippo bayum.

Marundavanukku Irundathellam pei.

Yennamo?! I am not gonna think about it anymore.

by Guest Tue Mar 20, 2012 10:01 am

I wanna butt in, but andray-pondray much in this thread.

by Nila Tue Mar 20, 2012 10:39 am

Well, there is nothing much to discuss further. You can relax. Smile

by Guest Tue Mar 20, 2012 10:45 am

So gk and upps are bigger experts than I am? Fine.

by Kris Tue Mar 20, 2012 10:56 am

Sasthi wrote:Yes, I was like I din't know how to describe this...but you got the gist! But not on the door step...we met him at the Mall.

I am not pleased...oh pls! I got better things to get pleased. I think H is overreacting. Next time he brings his name I will pretend as such I haven't heard it.

Also, If at all I want it...I will do it the right way! First divorce and then date....LOL

Thanks for your advice, anyway.

>>>If this sullen behavior is for real, call him aside and tell him this is getting ridiculous. Ask him to think back to his early youth and if this play a part in his life now, to put things in perspective. Life is stressful as it is and to add on more noise seems unwise. Nip this in the bud.

by doofus_maximus Tue Mar 20, 2012 11:06 am

Tracy Whitney wrote:I wanna butt in, but andray-pondray much in this thread.

May be I am touchy this morning, but was that necessary?

You could have said, tamil/kannada or whatever.

by Guest Tue Mar 20, 2012 11:20 am

doofus_maximus wrote:
Tracy Whitney wrote:I wanna butt in, but andray-pondray much in this thread.

May be I am touchy this morning, but was that necessary?

You could have said, tamil/kannada or whatever.

Oh man. I'm pms'ing big time, but even I'm in a much better mood than this. Chill dude. It's all in fun.

by Hellsangel Tue Mar 20, 2012 11:20 am

by doofus_maximus Tue Mar 20, 2012 11:22 am

Tracy Whitney wrote:
doofus_maximus wrote:
Tracy Whitney wrote:I wanna butt in, but andray-pondray much in this thread.

May be I am touchy this morning, but was that necessary?

You could have said, tamil/kannada or whatever.

Oh man. I'm pms'ing big time, but even I'm in a much better mood than this. Chill dude. It's all in fun.

So was that in Jest. You should put a disclaimer like Trashmun does.

by chameli Tue Mar 20, 2012 11:24 am

sasthi,

its rare that husbands are on the receiving end this is one instance .make the most of it

wirte secret love notes to uself as if it the guy who wrote it and drop them all over the hous e.

husbands need to appreciate us a little

a golden opportunity has arisen madam ! elephant

by Guest Tue Mar 20, 2012 11:27 am

doofus_maximus wrote:
Tracy Whitney wrote:
doofus_maximus wrote:
Tracy Whitney wrote:I wanna butt in, but andray-pondray much in this thread.

May be I am touchy this morning, but was that necessary?

You could have said, tamil/kannada or whatever.

Oh man. I'm pms'ing big time, but even I'm in a much better mood than this. Chill dude. It's all in fun.

So was that in Jest. You should put a disclaimer like Trashmun does.

Well, whenever I'm quoting any one else and/or repeating a much used phrase/term, it's in a jest by default.

by Hellsangel Tue Mar 20, 2012 11:29 am

Tracy Whitney wrote:
doofus_maximus wrote:
Tracy Whitney wrote:
doofus_maximus wrote:
Tracy Whitney wrote:I wanna butt in, but andray-pondray much in this thread.

May be I am touchy this morning, but was that necessary?

You could have said, tamil/kannada or whatever.

Oh man. I'm pms'ing big time, but even I'm in a much better mood than this. Chill dude. It's all in fun.

So was that in Jest. You should put a disclaimer like Trashmun does.

Well, whenever I'm quoting any one else and/or repeating a much used phrase/term, it's in a jest by default.

Just . it next time and we will understand.

by doofus_maximus Tue Mar 20, 2012 11:33 am

Tracy Whitney wrote:
doofus_maximus wrote:
Tracy Whitney wrote:
doofus_maximus wrote:
Tracy Whitney wrote:I wanna butt in, but andray-pondray much in this thread.

May be I am touchy this morning, but was that necessary?

You could have said, tamil/kannada or whatever.

Oh man. I'm pms'ing big time, but even I'm in a much better mood than this. Chill dude. It's all in fun.

So was that in Jest. You should put a disclaimer like Trashmun does.

Well, whenever I'm quoting any one else and/or repeating a much used phrase/term, it's in a jest by default.

Often used or repeatedly used phrases are in jest. Okay. I am all clarified now.

by Nila Tue Mar 20, 2012 3:43 pm

chameli wrote:sasthi,

its rare that husbands are on the receiving end this is one instance .make the most of it

wirte secret love notes to uself as if it the guy who wrote it and drop them all over the hous e.

husbands need to appreciate us a little

a golden opportunity has arisen madam !

LOL at writing secret love notes to self. It is so fun! Thanks chameli...hugs!

I wrote a note and it will brighten my days forever:P

by chameli Tue Mar 20, 2012 5:50 pm

there u go !

any other mischief you want to happen ...get in touch with me please lol

and and huggz back Smile

by Rekz Wed Mar 21, 2012 11:29 am

Sasthi wrote:How might one's spouse feel when his/her spouse's pursued guy/gal (Note not ex or no relationship at all) shows up after 15-17 years? That pursued being unmarried - how do one take it?

May be a month ago we bumped into this guy who happend to pursue me when I was like 18 or 19 - I don't remember. Actually my husband kinda recognized him and we said hi and bye and that's it. Looks like H is so researching him and he is not even shaving these days.

H seems to not over that and he brings that guys's name whenever we talk provided that we communicate very less.

I am so really annoyed and don't know how to put an end to this.

Why nothing like this happens in my life? Big *sigh*!! yennamo po maa

by chameli Wed Mar 21, 2012 11:39 am

rekz sweetie ,

been missing you Razz

i can make it happen for you ..needs a lot of plotting and putting heads together

but i will have to start charging a fee

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Wed Mar 21, 2012 11:52 am

Rekz wrote:

Why nothing like this happens in my life? Big *sigh*!! yennamo po maa

For everything else, there is net and CHAT.

by doofus_maximus Wed Mar 21, 2012 2:33 pm

[quote="Rekz"]

Sasthi wrote:How might one's spouse feel when his/her spouse's pursued guy/gal (Note not ex or no relationship at all) shows up after 15-17 years? That pursued being unmarried - how do one take it?

May be a month ago we bumped into this guy who happend to pursue me when I was like 18 or 19 - I don't remember. Actually my husband kinda recognized him and we said hi and bye and that's it. Looks like H is so researching him and he is not even shaving these days.

H seems to not over that and he brings that guys's name whenever we talk provided that we communicate very less.

I am so really annoyed and don't know how to put an end to this.[/quote

Why nothing like this happens in my life? Big *sigh*!! yennamo po maa

Wait. You telling me that there was no reaction from your hubby when he sees your DMFC activities. You need to take it up a notch on the DMFC front, to make him jealous.

by garam_kuta Wed Mar 21, 2012 2:50 pm

doofus_maximus wrote:

Wait. You telling me that there was no reaction from your hubby when he sees your DMFC activities. You need to take it up a notch on the DMFC front, to make him jealous.

ippo puriyudhu..dhobi-aaneenga..thOttakAranAneenga..goorkha aagha ready-aayittaapola.. Sad

by Rekz Thu Mar 22, 2012 3:04 am

@ chameli

- Chat is always empty when i login...How is it going for u?

@ Samiyar:farao: -yenna chat-u yenna net-u..ellam bore-u

@Doofus flower

-DMFC has been inactive for a while now...why don't you post pictures of u doing chores at home? May be then i can show to hubby and say "swaami,ekkada choodu swaami ..he is the one for whom i created a fan club which later brought down a mega forum called sulekha coffeehouse"I know u r good purushan DM but why don't u be a udharanapurushan on CH Razz

by garam_kuta Thu Mar 22, 2012 9:20 am

Rekz wrote:@ chameli - Chat is always empty when i login...How is it going for u?

@ Samiyar:farao: -yenna chat-u yenna net-u..ellam bore-u

@Doofus -DMFC has been inactive for a while now...why don't you post pictures of u doing chores at home? May be then i can show to hubby and say "swaami,ekkada choodu swaami ..he is the one for whom i created a fan club which later brought down a mega forum called sulekha coffeehouse"I know u r good purushan DM but why don't u be a udharanapurushan on CH

kavuththeetingalE....niraiya udhaar vidara purshan is udhaaranapurushan.. Razz

by chameli Thu Mar 22, 2012 10:03 am

rekzie,

can u arrange to sleep during the day and keep up at night so u and i can chat ?

not too much to ask is it ? Wink

by doofus_maximus Thu Mar 22, 2012 10:32 am

garam_kuta wrote:
Rekz wrote:@ chameli - Chat is always empty when i login...How is it going for u?

@ Samiyar:farao: -yenna chat-u yenna net-u..ellam bore-u

@Doofus -DMFC has been inactive for a while now...why don't you post pictures of u doing chores at home? May be then i can show to hubby and say "swaami,ekkada choodu swaami ..he is the one for whom i created a fan club which later brought down a mega forum called sulekha coffeehouse"I know u r good purushan DM but why don't u be a udharanapurushan on CH

kavuththeetingalE....niraiya udhaar vidara purshan is udhaaranapurushan..

Dei pasangala, yennai vechi kaamedy keemedy onnum pannalaiye??

by Impedimenta Thu Mar 22, 2012 11:10 am

psssttt.......DMFC = ?

by Hellsangel Thu Mar 22, 2012 11:11 am

Impedimenta wrote:psssttt.......DMFC = ?

Anna Fan Club

by doofus_maximus Thu Mar 22, 2012 12:37 pm

Hellsangel wrote:
Impedimenta wrote:psssttt.......DMFC = ?

Anna Fan Club

Aha... Hellsu mama,

You were waiting for this. Velaya paarunga.

Affy,
DM.

by Nila Thu Mar 22, 2012 2:57 pm

Cha! Idhukellam Karanam Impy thaan!

MudalLiye...DMa AnnaNu Oru clue kuduthirundha...Iwlo Pirachchinae IrundirukKathu....

Parunga...Impykku AnnaNa...Enakkum AnnaThaan. Impy Madhri oru Nathanaar yaarukKavathu Theviya?!

Still I think DMFC is blah! LOL

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