Condolences...(Maria/Lambedar) - Thanks

For all those who did not read sulekha...this morn...I could'nt help but had to share over here...

Last nite my MIL passed away at 1045pm...or so (at least I received the news at this time)...may her soul RIP...

Death in Interacial family is hard to digest, lenghthy paper work, undertaker asking if I am my husband's wife, My MIL suffered closer to a year or more with home care nurses, Hospice, family taking turns to spend time and ovviously here friends as well...she was fading due to her old age and my husband who is attached to her is taking things at realization...(maria, you are true that son/s are more affected than daughters when they lose mother)...I am trying my best to keep hubby in control...

Sleepless night and hospice making sure that we destroy dangerous drugs around the household, too many questions that cause stress along with dealing with death news... and SIL calling all the moves for funeral over phone (she could not visit) I am unsure of how to react to the whole situation but riding along with silence...

About my MIL not that I am making martyr out of her but certain kindness to speak that she had too many desires (unfullfilled), hard core PA Dutch woman with funny tastes, worked hard and she lived all her life in frugality, something got me thinking when the undertaker took her away that she did not carry her own clothes nor her savings or any desires made me to think that life become meaningless and valueless after death...(I am not philosophical woman) but still got me thinking...

Death in America is such a big ordeal...they have to suspect for all deaths (they cannot be empathetic to realize it's just old death)...I dont seem to get their views at all here...the hospice had to call the coroner before her death as MIL broke her leg last year...and the coroner had to make her mind to waive off all the abuse or suspicions of her death (like autopsy results) and clear the paper for us.

Legalization in America is making life hard to simple common ppl like us (does not matter whether you are desi or american)...

I am not even complaining but just finding it difficult to manage all of it...

whew...will wait until this whole thing goes off smoothly...

-Anthrone

sorry to hear about your MIL. may her soul rest in peace. Keep strong.

I have not dealt with it personally here (or there), so I can't relate to it. But I sometimes think all these legalization stuff might bring a peace of mind too. It's a laid down process that you have to checkmark your way through numb. But at least there's a process meant to be executed.

One of my friends had to go to India for his father's death and run around helter-skeltered coz there were no clear rules, and there were a lot of inheritance battles too, and he came back very perplexed that he and his family didn't even get the time to moan, as half the time they were running around clueless.

Anthrone wrote:For all those who did not read sulekha...this morn...I could'nt help but had to share over here...

Last nite my MIL passed away at 1045pm...or so (at least I received the news at this time)...may her soul RIP...

Legalization in America is making life hard to simple common ppl like us (does not matter whether you are desi or american)...

I am not even complaining but just finding it difficult to manage all of it...

whew...will wait until this whole thing goes off smoothly...

-Anthrone

Sorry to hear about your MIL. In India, at times of death, most arrangements are taken care of by relatives - leaving the close ones to grieve. In the US, even that is mechanized - what with casket selection, flower arrangement, dress, reception following the funeral, etc..etc... Guess they look at it as a celebration of life of the departed one.

The differences in inter-racial marriage faces the glare in big family gatherings as in death. Of course, this is true in India as well - so, perhaps, this is one thing that is common to humanity.

May her soul RIP.