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Can this headline be written in a simple way?

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Can this headline be written in a simple way? Empty Can this headline be written in a simple way?

Post by Rishi Sat May 04, 2013 11:12 pm

1984 anti-Sikh riots: Arguments on quantum of sentence on 9 May



http://www.firstpost.com/india/1984-anti-sikh-riots-arguments-on-quantum-of-sentence-on-9-may-752535.html


Never heard of this quantum of sentence thing.

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Post by MaxEntropy_Man Sun May 05, 2013 7:56 am

how about, "sentence hearing for 1984 anti-sikh riots to take place on may 9th"? the whole article is written poorly.
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Post by MaxEntropy_Man Sun May 05, 2013 8:02 am

how about this first sentence?
A Delhi court on Saturday fixed 9 May for hearing arguments on quantum of punishment in a 1984 anti-Sikh riots case in which Congress leader Sajjan Kumar was acquitted while five persons were convicted for being a part of the mob that killed five Sikhs in New Delhi.

weird and horrible construction. i'd write instead:

a delhi court is set to hear sentencing arguments in a 1984 anti-sikh riots case, in which congress leader sajjan kumar was acquitted, and five others convicted in the mob killing of five sikhs in new delhi, on may 9th.

or

sentencing arguments are set to be heard on may 9th in a 1984 anti-sikh riots case, in which congress leader sajjan kumar was acquitted, and five others convicted in the mob killing of five sikhs in new delhi.

quantum of punishment?
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Post by MaxEntropy_Man Sun May 05, 2013 8:11 am

this one stank as well:

Cheema told the court that he would not be able to advance arguments on May 6 as he would not be available on that day

my preference:
cheema told the court that he would not be able to argue the case on may 6th as he would not be available on that day.

argument already has a verb form. why not use it instead of adding another verb?

aside: i also don't like it when folks suddenly out of thin air start creating verbs. the verb form of incentive is incentivize. however, folks at work often use incent. i didn't even know this was a word and used to correct them. recently i looked it up and it says it has been in existence since 1981. basically some office lackey idiot decided that he didn't like incentivize and started using this word and it seems to have gained currency. another pet peeve - calculus. e.g. "the chechen struggle is not part of america's political calculus". what the fuck is wrong with "the chechen struggle is not part of america's political calculation?" calculus is a branch of mathematics. a word that has nothing to do with political calculations! and while i am at it, how about "optics". e.g. "obama doesn't want to back off on gun control because his optics with his base on this issue don't look good". wtf? optics is the study of light, lenses, and mirrors.
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Post by MaxEntropy_Man Sun May 05, 2013 8:31 am

even better:

cheema told the court that he would not be able to argue the case on may 6th as he was not available that day.
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Post by Propagandhi711 Sun May 05, 2013 8:54 am

It's upticks, not optics

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Post by MaxEntropy_Man Sun May 05, 2013 9:04 am

in this context "upticks" probably also makes sense, but i was referring to actual misuse of "optics". here is another one: "the US govt should close guantanamo, because the optics don't look good".
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Post by MaxEntropy_Man Sun May 05, 2013 9:21 am

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/07/magazine/07FOB-onlanguage-t.html?
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