How To Be Sexual Without Being A Creep

by Rishi Fri May 31, 2013 1:17 pm

http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2013/05/31/a_lesson_for_feminist_andy_hinds_here_s_how_to_be_sexual_without_being_a.html

White man does it in a subtle manner.

Indian man simply stares.

by Guest Fri May 31, 2013 1:36 pm

talking about staring, almost posted this cute convo yesterday.

daughter to me: xyz's boyfriend never compliments her. is that a good thing or a bad thing?

me: hmm. never?

son joins the talks: why, he never says, 'xyz, you have pretty eyes'?

me to son: why, you think xyz has pretty eyes?

son: no, you said the other day that boys should not be talking about anything other than the girls' eyes, didn't you?

me: *pause**pause* yaaa I said that one should not be looking at any thing below the eyes when talking to someone...

son: ya, so how can he compliment her on anything else?

*good point* I love you

(the actual convo was when daughter was telling me how boys talk about girls' bodies, and so I had rebuffed it all saying it's rude to be talking like this, and one should not even be looking at anything below the eyes, etc, etc.. didn't know he was listening so carefully lol)

by Bittu Fri May 31, 2013 1:44 pm

Vidya Bagchi wrote:
me: *pause**pause* yaaa I said that one should not be looking at any thing below the eyes when talking to someone...

Lips are below the eyes. You don't look at the other person's lips?

by Guest Fri May 31, 2013 1:48 pm

Bittu wrote:
Vidya Bagchi wrote:
me: *pause**pause* yaaa I said that one should not be looking at any thing below the eyes when talking to someone...

Lips are below the eyes. You don't look at the other person's lips?

Atleast that's the work place etiquette that I have heard often.

by Petrichor Fri May 31, 2013 2:10 pm

Longest eye contact these days is 7 seconds. Not sure about other kinds of 'contact'.

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Fri May 31, 2013 3:20 pm

Vidya Bagchi wrote:
me: *pause**pause* yaaa I said that one should not be looking at any thing below the eyes when talking to someone...

son: ya, so how can he compliment her on anything else?

*good point*

(the actual convo was when daughter was telling me how boys talk about girls' bodies, and so I had rebuffed it all saying it's rude to be talking like this, and one should not even be looking at anything below the eyes, etc, etc.. didn't know he was listening so carefully lol)

Believe us when we say we do...(we just ignore women most of the time and you guys think we don't listen).

Of course, if your son were an adult, he would have been badmouthed by girls as being arrogant.

by goodcitizn Fri May 31, 2013 3:50 pm

Muezzin-Bar'chu wrote:Longest eye contact these days is 7 seconds. Not sure about other kinds of 'contact'.

Is there a time distinction between eyeing and ogling?

by Petrichor Fri May 31, 2013 4:10 pm

goodcitizn wrote:
Muezzin-Bar'chu wrote:Longest eye contact these days is 7 seconds. Not sure about other kinds of 'contact'.

Is there a time distinction between eyeing and ogling?

saamiyaar-mode on;

a. if she actively avoids all eye contact, you are in perv territory
b. if she passively avoids eye contact, she is just focused on other things
c. if she locks eyes momentarily, she is curious; if she drops contact first, depending on if it is a sideway shift or downward shift, there may be appropriate meaning
d. if she holds steady eye contact with neutral smile, you have her attention
e. there are a few more levels and then you are in ananga ranga or vatsyayana territory

ogling usually does not involve bi-directional eye contact

by goodcitizn Fri May 31, 2013 4:22 pm

Muezzin-Bar'chu wrote:
goodcitizn wrote:
Muezzin-Bar'chu wrote:Longest eye contact these days is 7 seconds. Not sure about other kinds of 'contact'.

Is there a time distinction between eyeing and ogling?

saamiyaar-mode on;

a. if she actively avoids all eye contact, you are in perv territory
b. if she passively avoids eye contact, she is just focused on other things
c. if she locks eyes momentarily, she is curious; if she drops contact first, depending on if it is a sideway shift or downward shift, there may be appropriate meaning
d. if she holds steady eye contact with neutral smile, you have her attention
e. there are a few more levels and then you are in ananga ranga or vatsyayana territory

ogling usually does not involve bi-directional eye contact

[I guess if it is bi-directional at a certain length of time, Vairamuthu is correct. Kannum kannum kollai adithaal kadhal endru artham.]

by Guest Fri May 31, 2013 4:24 pm

Muezzin-Bar'chu wrote:
goodcitizn wrote:
Muezzin-Bar'chu wrote:Longest eye contact these days is 7 seconds. Not sure about other kinds of 'contact'.

Is there a time distinction between eyeing and ogling?

saamiyaar-mode on;

a. if she actively avoids all eye contact, you are in perv territory
b. if she passively avoids eye contact, she is just focused on other things
c. if she locks eyes momentarily, she is curious; if she drops contact first, depending on if it is a sideway shift or downward shift, there may be appropriate meaning
d. if she holds steady eye contact with neutral smile, you have her attention
e. there are a few more levels and then you are in ananga ranga or vatsyayana territory

ogling usually does not involve bi-directional eye contact

with all those points came with a related hindi/tamil movie scene... lol

by Guest Fri May 31, 2013 4:26 pm

Muezzin-Bar'chu wrote:

saamiyaar-mode on;

a. if she actively avoids all eye contact, you are in perv territory
b. if she passively avoids eye contact, she is just focused on other things
c. if she locks eyes momentarily, she is curious; if she drops contact first, depending on if it is a sideway shift or downward shift, there may be appropriate meaning
d. if she holds steady eye contact with neutral smile, you have her attention
e. there are a few more levels and then you are in ananga ranga or vatsyayana territory

ogling usually does not involve bi-directional eye contact

That is me with most everyone.

by Guest Fri May 31, 2013 4:33 pm

i hardly ever make an eye contact. people have had issues with me on this. they would be like, 'look at ME when we are talking, don't scope out the entire library, or playground, or restaurant, or wherever we are'. now it's laptop or iphone.

also, the sure way to make me nervous, aggressive, etc is to stare at me. XB and BFF had learned this a while back, and never failed to rattle me by that. kids have discovered it now.

by goodcitizn Fri May 31, 2013 4:38 pm

Vidya Bagchi wrote:with all those points came with a related hindi/tamil movie scene... lol

Women seem to have that "instant search and find" ultraviolet scanner in their DNA such that in a large party where, if one girl asks the other, "Did you see that cool hunk?" the other always nods with a smile without even looking, "Yeah, he looks adorable in that blue turtleneck, doesn't he?" whereas if one guys were to ask another about that really hot, sexy girl, he always looks around to see which one fits the bill and can't make up his mind!

How To Be Sexual Without Being A Creep

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