how many of you send your kids to india to spend summers?

by MaxEntropy_Man Mon Jun 10, 2013 9:51 pm

i am very uncomfortable with this idea. we keep discussing this every summer and i am the lone holdout. everyone thinks i am crazy. maybe next summer with pepper sprays and tasers...

http://blogs.wsj.com/indiarealtime/2013/06/06/some-tourists-in-india-carry-tasers-pepper-spray/

by bw Mon Jun 10, 2013 10:02 pm

i have never sent them and don't intend to until they decide to make trips on their own as adults.

i don't have girls and so your primary fears are not applicable.

by b_A Mon Jun 10, 2013 10:08 pm

MaxEntropy_Man wrote:i am very uncomfortable with this idea. we keep discussing this every summer and i am the lone holdout. everyone thinks i am crazy. maybe next summer with pepper sprays and tasers...

http://blogs.wsj.com/indiarealtime/2013/06/06/some-tourists-in-india-carry-tasers-pepper-spray/

Why are you uncomfortable ? I thought TN is the safest place on earth for women and none of your relatives/acquaintances suffered any harassment. As long as the kids stay in TN only , they should be safe.

by MaxEntropy_Man Mon Jun 10, 2013 10:08 pm

some of their friends are going on volunteering trips (resume building activities), summer dance camps and so on. they are upset with me that i won't let them go on their own. call me paranoid, but i am not ready to let them do this. i sometimes look back with horror at the everyday things that sisters, cousins, and friends did nonchalantly when they were growing up -- filled with all kinds of unsavory irritations and dangers.

by MaxEntropy_Man Mon Jun 10, 2013 10:10 pm

b_A wrote:
MaxEntropy_Man wrote:i am very uncomfortable with this idea. we keep discussing this every summer and i am the lone holdout. everyone thinks i am crazy. maybe next summer with pepper sprays and tasers...

http://blogs.wsj.com/indiarealtime/2013/06/06/some-tourists-in-india-carry-tasers-pepper-spray/

Why are you uncomfortable ? I thought TN is the safest place on earth for women and none of your relatives/acquaintances suffered any harassment. As long as the kids stay in TN only , they should be safe.

only relatively speaking. i'd at least consider sending them with adult relatives chaperoning them in TN and karnataka. i won't let them step north of the vindhyas even with adults. no way jose.

by bw Mon Jun 10, 2013 10:12 pm

MaxEntropy_Man wrote:some of their friends are going on volunteering trips (resume building activities), summer dance camps and so on. they are upset with me that i won't let them go on their own. call me paranoid, but i am not ready to let them do this. i sometimes look back with horror at the everyday things that sisters, cousins, and friends did nonchalantly when they were growing up -- filled with all kinds of unsavory irritations and dangers.

not worth the sleepless nights, imo.

yeah, i've heard of these resume building trips - forced community service to pad their resumes with "good human being" credentials. all very contrived and silly.

by Rishi Mon Jun 10, 2013 10:12 pm

MaxEntropy_Man wrote:i am very uncomfortable with this idea. we keep discussing this every summer and i am the lone holdout. everyone thinks i am crazy. maybe next summer with pepper sprays and tasers...

http://blogs.wsj.com/indiarealtime/2013/06/06/some-tourists-in-india-carry-tasers-pepper-spray/

Very Very dumb idea.

Let others call you crazy, very protective etc.

It is your children after all.

by MaxEntropy_Man Mon Jun 10, 2013 10:16 pm

Rishi wrote:
MaxEntropy_Man wrote:i am very uncomfortable with this idea. we keep discussing this every summer and i am the lone holdout. everyone thinks i am crazy. maybe next summer with pepper sprays and tasers...

http://blogs.wsj.com/indiarealtime/2013/06/06/some-tourists-in-india-carry-tasers-pepper-spray/

Very Very dumb idea.

Let others call you crazy, very protective etc.

It is your children after all.

yes. i'd rather be crazy than sorry. just wanted a gut check from folks here.

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Mon Jun 10, 2013 10:30 pm

bw wrote:i have never sent them and don't intend to until they decide to make trips on their own as adults.

i don't have girls and so your primary fears are not applicable.

I agree... you need to protect your boys from those rotten spoiled Indian girls... Razz

I think Max should send them to India to spend time with grandparents and at this young age they are not likely to go alone anywhere. So it is much safer. When they reach 15 or 16, it is a different matter and tension times.

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Mon Jun 10, 2013 10:48 pm

bw wrote:
Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
bw wrote:i have never sent them and don't intend to until they decide to make trips on their own as adults.

i don't have girls and so your primary fears are not applicable.

I agree... you need to protect your boys from those rotten spoiled Indian girls...

I think Max should send them to India to spend time with grandparents and at this young age they are not likely to go alone anywhere. So it is much safer. When they reach 15 or 16, it is a different matter and tension times.

i need to protect them from crazy relatives and assorted, nosy neighbours - they have no clue of caste wars, language wars and other petty biases and i would like to keep it that way until they are ready to understand the issues at an intellectual level.

i have always preferred our parents visiting us than the other way round. of course, because of health issues, it has not been possible always and i am forced to make trips to india.

I call this DPS type 1 and type 2. To send kids every summer is type 1 and not sending them at all protecting them is type 2. If you dont want them to be influenced by bad things then wait till they are 25. The smart kids will to google verify, learn everything and form opinion.

The 20+ jehadis were normal westernized kids - protected from the evil side of iSlam - come to know about islam and end up becoming radicalized. Bcz the Islamic rhetoric sounds attractive to their rebellious minds. So you may want to send the kids during formative years to see both sides.

nosy neighbors, crazy relatives??? What kind of neighborhood you were living in India?... Razz

by Guest Mon Jun 10, 2013 10:52 pm

MaxEntropy_Man wrote:i am very uncomfortable with this idea. we keep discussing this every summer and i am the lone holdout. everyone thinks i am crazy. maybe next summer with pepper sprays and tasers...

http://blogs.wsj.com/indiarealtime/2013/06/06/some-tourists-in-india-carry-tasers-pepper-spray/

I used to always think about it, but it never materialized. Rather I backed out myself, for one reason or another.

But I know 2 friends/couples, who religiously send kids entire 2 summer months to India, ever since they were little kids. Both families are in my hometown back home. The grandparents were/are young, and willing to take care, and they would keep the kids busy by enrolling them in a dozen different classes, academics and non academics, some at home, and to some they would drive them around themselves. Also, a lot of socializing. They kept them well disciplined, and well protected. The kids, incidentally all girls - 2 of one friend, and 3 of another friend - have all grown up so well. I just met them this weekend, and couldn't help admiring.

by Kris Mon Jun 10, 2013 11:47 pm

MaxEntropy_Man wrote:i am very uncomfortable with this idea. we keep discussing this every summer and i am the lone holdout. everyone thinks i am crazy. maybe next summer with pepper sprays and tasers...

[url=http://blogs.wsj.com/indiarealtime/2013/06/06/some-tourists-in-india-carry-tasers-pepper-spray/

http://blogs.wsj.com/indiarealtime/2013/06/06/some-tourists-in-india-carry-tasers-pepper-spray/[/quote[/url]]

>>>>If you can tightly manage it i.e. someone who is willing and able to receive them and take care of them till they are back on a plane to the US, yes. Otherwise, no. It is a bit of a moot point with my kids - they have been there several times and don't see it as a vacation. The older one is also starting to resist going anywhere with us, since it takes time away quality 'hangout' time with his buddies.

by Nila Tue Jun 11, 2013 2:38 pm

I wouldn’t- considering the safety of my kids and my DS is not street smart. He wouldn’t know to cross a street there. Even when I am with him he was almost hit by a teen tvs50 drunk driver. Luckily he jumped over the mobile wheels but I can’t expect that every time. The TVS 50 were driven by 2 drunken teen kids. I was even scared to yell at them. My DS was like…MOM! You let them go without telling them anything. I was like couldn’t tell DS that they were drunk and were ready for a fight. But my aunt bad mouthed them and trashed him on the road. But still…I was awe stuck and couldn’t speak anything. I was only making sure that my DS was fine and there were no any injuries. He still blames me that I didn’t offend him and my aunt cares him more than I do.

But my DD can manage India alone, hopefully. I am sure she will master tae-kwon-do before 15; otherwise I am not going to send her alone. May be I should consider putting my DS in martial arts classes.

Most in CA send their kids along with their grandparents who happen to live here and visit India during summer. The kids are very much used to their grandparents and can adapt to India easily than others. My MIL always suggests she takes my DS with her during her 2-3 months visit and if she extends her stay DS can travel alone one way. I always tell her…”Neenga Unga Ponna Paratha Sandosathula En Pullaye Marandhey PoyiduVeengo….Ungalukku Unga Ponnoda perans than Osthi…I do so much drama; she stopped asking…”

Translation: “You will forget my son when you see your daughter and her kids…and will have no time tending for my kids….blah blah blah"

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Tue Jun 11, 2013 3:31 pm

Nila wrote: I always tell her…”Neenga Unga Ponna Paratha Sandosathula En Pullaye Marandhey PoyiduVeengo….Ungalukku Unga Ponnoda perans than Osthi…I do so much drama; she stopped asking…”

Translation: “You will forget my son when you see your daughter and her kids…and will have no time tending for my kids….blah blah blah"

You are quite right about that. Expected criticism not withstanding, parents tend to become biased towards grandkids through their daughters. There are many pscyho reasons but not going into that.

Also, your DD could emulate your MIL and boss you for 10 months when your MIL is in India. Just saying na...

by Petrichor Tue Jun 11, 2013 3:43 pm

If resume-building is the carrot to entice kids to learn and immerse in their own roots, so be it. Sometimes you gotta fake it till you feel it. At least that was the honest write-up in NxG a few years ago.

by Bittu Tue Jun 11, 2013 3:57 pm

Let's see. You left India to live in the US because you think it is a better place that affords you a better quality of life. You know very well that life is cheap in India, law enforcement is laughable and the justice system is archaically inept.

So why would you even post this question?

by Nila Tue Jun 11, 2013 4:00 pm

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
Nila wrote: I always tell her…”Neenga Unga Ponna Paratha Sandosathula En Pullaye Marandhey PoyiduVeengo….Ungalukku Unga Ponnoda perans than Osthi…I do so much drama; she stopped asking…”

Translation: “You will forget my son when you see your daughter and her kids…and will have no time tending for my kids….blah blah blah"

You are quite right about that. Expected criticism not withstanding, parents tend to become biased towards grandkids through their daughters. There are many pscyho reasons but not going into that.

Also, your DD could emulate your MIL and boss you for 10 months when your MIL is in India. Just saying na...

I don't mind she bossing me...after all I want her to be more bossy unlike me. My DS is very sensitive and I should do something about it.

It is unfair biased whatever reasons; I care less. Initially I thought that MIL is innocent and all that and SIL is the one and only reason. Now I realize that they were all a team and yes, it is true that there is no "i" in the team. I don't want to be in their team and they won't let me in their team. I gotta build my own team Razz

by Petrichor Tue Jun 11, 2013 4:47 pm

Muezzin-Bar'chu wrote:If resume-building is the carrot to entice kids to learn and immerse in their own roots, so be it. Sometimes you gotta fake it till you feel it. At least that was the honest write-up in NxG a few years ago.

http://www.go-nxg.com/?p=2103

An example of a summer.

by Nila Tue Jun 11, 2013 6:07 pm

That TVS 50 was flying - it was way too fast and those kids don't seem to care about the speed/sound and they were ready to fight coz they bumped into another kid. As if it were our mistakes. I get cramps thinking about it.

Volunteering in a blind school in here (US) will certainly teach about humanity.

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Tue Jun 11, 2013 6:25 pm

Nila wrote:That TVS 50 was flying- it was way too fast and those kids don't seem to care about the speed/sound and they were ready to fight coz they bumped into another kid. As if it were our mistakes. I get cramps thinking about it.

Volunteering in a blind school in here (US) will certainly teach about humanity.

Did you write to TVS ? They might be thrilled and give you a Free TVS 50.

by Nila Tue Jun 11, 2013 6:51 pm

Super Swami... Nandri for your suggestion. I think it is not TVS 50 anymore it should be faster than 50km.

May be you will get one - it is all iyer mamas working place anyways.

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Tue Jun 11, 2013 7:29 pm

Nila wrote:Super Swami... Nandri for your suggestion. I think it is not TVS 50 anymore it should be faster than 50km.

May be you will get one - it is all ~~iyer~~ Iyengar mamas working place anyways.

Agree.. the kids dont have a sense of their surrounding and traffic. just 2 days ago, a 10 year old crossed the road with her bicycle..and the little 4 yr old sister ran right after her to catch up with her. It was cute and innocent and I had to slam the brakes. I was on my motorcycle and the kid was not expecting it, and she was socked/surprised/confused.

I have seen one too many adults not realizing the kids WILL run randomly, and adults have to expect them to behave unexpectedly..

by garam_kuta Tue Jun 11, 2013 9:20 pm

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
Nila wrote:Super Swami... Nandri for your suggestion. I think it is not TVS 50 anymore it should be faster than 50km.

May be you will get one - it is all ~~iyer~~ Iyengar mamas working place anyways.

Agree.. the kids dont have a sense of their surrounding and traffic. just 2 days ago, a 10 year old crossed the road with her bicycle..and the little 4 yr old sister ran right after her to catch up with her. It was cute and innocent and I had to slam the brakes. I was on my motorcycle and the kid was not expecting it, and she was socked/surprised/confused.

I have seen one too many adults not realizing the kids WILL run randomly, and adults have to expect them to behave unexpectedly..

whoa.. those small ones which you can't see when you back up your car.. maaan ..I don't park nose-in and if i have to, I honk 2-3 time when i reverse

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Tue Jun 11, 2013 9:34 pm

garam_kuta wrote:
Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
Nila wrote:Super Swami... Nandri for your suggestion. I think it is not TVS 50 anymore it should be faster than 50km.

May be you will get one - it is all ~~iyer~~ Iyengar mamas working place anyways.

Agree.. the kids dont have a sense of their surrounding and traffic. just 2 days ago, a 10 year old crossed the road with her bicycle..and the little 4 yr old sister ran right after her to catch up with her. It was cute and innocent and I had to slam the brakes. I was on my motorcycle and the kid was not expecting it, and she was socked/surprised/confused.

I have seen one too many adults not realizing the kids WILL run randomly, and adults have to expect them to behave unexpectedly..

whoa.. those small ones which you can't see when you back up your car.. maaan ..I don't park nose-in and if i have to, I honk 2-3 time when i reverse

Most of the times, I go around the car to the drivers side - to ensure there is nothing obvious lying around and also flat-check. In addition, the Car God will be pleased with me - what with the old cars I drive.

by Hellsangel Tue Jun 11, 2013 10:37 pm

"We often take for granted the dew-coated petals of a lilac or the crepuscular music of a hummingbird at the break of dawn."

Sounds an awful lot like the language of someone who posts here than that of a grade 11 student. BTW, the purported author is now at Princeton University.

by bw Tue Jun 11, 2013 10:43 pm

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote: I was on my motorcycle and the kid was not expecting it, and she was socked/surprised/confused.

saamiyar, a cruiser or a sportsbike?

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Tue Jun 11, 2013 10:53 pm

bw wrote:
Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote: I was on my motorcycle and the kid was not expecting it, and she was socked/surprised/confused.

saamiyar, a cruiser or a sportsbike?

It is a cruiser. Not too reliable to ride a motorcycle in this region. It is either too hot or too cold, and rest of the time way too windy.

by bw Tue Jun 11, 2013 11:02 pm

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
bw wrote:
Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote: I was on my motorcycle and the kid was not expecting it, and she was socked/surprised/confused.

saamiyar, a cruiser or a sportsbike?

It is a cruiser. Not too reliable to ride a motorcycle in this region. It is either too hot or too cold, and rest of the time way too windy.

what make and model, saamiyar?

by goodcitizn Tue Jun 11, 2013 11:46 pm

Never did. Don't think it's a good idea.

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Wed Jun 12, 2013 12:27 am

bw wrote:
what make and model, saamiyar?

Now that is classified info... Wink

by Petrichor Wed Jun 12, 2013 10:35 am

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
bw wrote:
what make and model, saamiyar?

Now that is classified info...

surely, you can tell us how many cc's?

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Wed Jun 12, 2013 12:00 pm

Muezzin-Bar'chu wrote:
Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
bw wrote:
what make and model, saamiyar?

Now that is classified info...

surely, you can tell us how many cc's?

That is also classified.

But, if you can guess from this picture that will be ok.

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