manipulated

so... back in june, ex-mil asked me 2-3-4 times to come meet her while they were in NY... so I thought ok she is calling so much so let's be nice and  go. it's just one meeting anyway. One of the aunts of k was also at my home at the time, and could hear us talking, so she knew very well that I was accepting the offer out of sheer good will, nothing else. I wasted one entire Sunday in going there and back, when I could have used that day to do so much at work/home/impending desh trip.
 
Anyway, I went, and met with a very cold reception. Ex-mil was nervous but kept trying to be nice, however she was not all that gushing with love in person like she was on facetime always. The other aunt, the host seemed nervous and pissed and very out of sorts, which is very unlike her. The ex-fil didn't come to meet me until he got yelled at by the ex-mil and even when he came, we didn't exchange any word at all. And the uncle host talked nothing but politics. I was like, wth, why did they even call me when things were gonna be so hostile. I told K also, and he just said the host aunty was nervous about the volatile situation. Anyway, took me 2-3 days to recover, and I might have whined on this board too. I also kicked ex-fil out of my fb. Why be on my connections if you can't say a decent word to me on my face...
 
Anyway, while I always felt something was off about that day, found out the reason NOW... madam ex-mil had told no one in that house that she had called me. She let them believe like *I* was coming to meet them as in trying to patch up with them. What the bloody hell. No wonder ex-fil was acting up. How do I know this? The other aunt who had heard the entire convo, well later the ex-mil took this aunt aside and made her promise not to let the ex-fil know that I was going there only out of pressure from her. Now I also know why the other aunt was so frazzled too. Ex-mil's idea was to turn around and tell fil,' look Vidya is so nice. She came to meet you knowing everything, so you should also chuck your ego and forget all this'. At the same time, K could also tell me, 'Look my parents are so nice, they called you over, so you should also chuck your ego and forget all this'.
 
Except that all this backfired, thanks to akdu ex-fil, I smelled something off even though at the time I didn't know what it was. Something had just not felt right about the day, and that's why I was upset for 2-3 days, coz I was so puzzled. 
 
Ugh, from now on, full bitch mode on. Am not even gonna talk to the useless bunch.

no shrikhand for you!

Are the in-laws trying to patch up things between you and ex, or spolier them more?

Nila wrote: haha looks like MILs don't change. They like to keep the family and always have this quest for manipulation. Next time when your MIL says anything do NOT blindly trust....you will have to decode every word with all the minute info like… tone of her voice and analyze before you give any reply to her. Master minds they are - no big deal given their life experiences.

actually, I had asked  k, but more as a taunt, if she took ex-fils "permission" before calling me or else she is really taking her chances with him here ... he shrugged and said, 'ya he knows u r coming'. Guess, I should have pushed further before agreeing.
 
But then that explains why people like me are fails, and people not like me are successes. This is something I have observed keenly in last 3-4 years. Men and women, who I know are doing good, it's not just by luck and chance. They are very keenly focused on their goals, and don't take nonsense lying down. Bad stuff doesn't happen to them coz they don't let it happen. They prevent it early on. They don't cry later of being set up by others. Can't blame anyone else but myself here.

Some people like to feel like victim all the time.

This not taking nonsense is learnt esp when in our gen and prior gen girls are raised to tolerate. Well, I never bothered about my FIL coz he was more suitable to the words "dummy", "puppet" - MIL never gave a damn to him. Sigh! She was/is very talented.

In fact, he should've acted fine with you coz he was under the impression that you were magnanimous enough to visit them on your own accord. Well, anyway....man with a huge ego! forget it!