FIFTY WAYS TO MOLEST AN IDLI

Vidya Bagchi wrote:you know dear
i don't do this normally
to blame the victim
that is not me
but here you can say safely
it begs molestation, the idli

goodcitizn wrote:

Vidya Bagchi wrote:you know dear
i don't do this normally
to blame the victim
that is not me
but here you can say safely
it begs molestation, the idli

If nothing else, dear, I expected you to get a good laugh over it being a fellow writer and all ...

bw wrote:nice - idlis deserve a song.

here i was, thinking how to get sambar stuffed into idlis and just had a brainwave. fill a dumpling or kozhakattai(modak) with sambar and then stuff that into the idli. with this approach, the possibilities are endless. we can now have even a shot of vodka inside an innocuous looking idli.

Vidya Bagchi wrote:

goodcitizn wrote:

Vidya Bagchi wrote:you know dear
i don't do this normally
to blame the victim
that is not me
but here you can say safely
it begs molestation, the idli

If nothing else, dear, I expected you to get a good laugh over it being a fellow writer and all ...

oh yeah. loved it. also the last part, 'She said why don't we both steam on it tonight....'

goodcitizn wrote:
"The problem is all inside your head," she said to me,
"The answer is easy if you eat it authentically
I'd like to help you in your time of misery
There must be fifty ways to molest an idli
Fifty ways to molest an idli"

She said it's really not my habit to be prude
Furthermore I hope my anguish won't be mocked or misunderstood
But I'll repeat myself at the risk of being booed
There must be fifty ways to molest an idli
Fifty ways to molest an idli

You just slit it with ham, Sam
Stuff it with cheese, Cleese
Impregnate it with soy, Roy
To change its pedigree
You're the chef, Jeff
So no need to discuss much
Just carve out its heart, Bart
Why just let it be?

Ooo stay on its back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just violate it free

Mmm ... Broil in the grill, Phil
Don't let it sit idly
Do a shish kebab, Bob
With pork or poultry

She said it grieves me so to see it in such pain
I wish there was something I could do to make it smile again
I said I appreciate that and would you please explain
About the fifty ways?

She said why don't we both steam on it tonight
And I believe in the morning we can be more polite
And then she kissed me and I realized she probably was right
There must be fifty ways to screw up an idli
Fifty ways to persecute an idli

Tejpal Singh Iyer wrote:These are not very funny. I hope you have a day job.