indian marriages

by Guest Tue Oct 14, 2014 9:16 pm

all fucking shams.

by Merlot Daruwala Wed Oct 15, 2014 12:17 am

Marriage is literally that.

But what led to this sudden revelation? Back story please...

by Guest Wed Oct 15, 2014 7:35 am

He has always been a flirt. Doesn't even realize when he himself crosses over. This time he gets emotional about a woman 15 years younger, who is wife of a friend, and is also her best friend. And HE goes into depression. Asks wife to accept it. She doesn't. He says he can't help falling in love, is not in his control, and maybe she should accept that as he gives her so much love too (??). They go into therapy. He wants a divorce. She wants a divorce. Both take anti depressants. Decide not to divorce. She doesn't leave the best friend either. All is kept hush hush. All is business as usual. They all still hang out. Still party.

by Merlot Daruwala Wed Oct 15, 2014 9:06 am

Beatrix Kiddo wrote:He has always been a flirt. Doesn't even realize when he himself crosses over. This time he gets emotional about a woman 15 years younger, who is wife of a friend, and is also her best friend. And HE goes into depression. Asks wife to accept it. She doesn't. He says he can't help falling in love, is not in his control, and maybe she should accept that as he gives her so much love too (??). They go into therapy. He wants a divorce. She wants a divorce. Both take anti depressants. Decide not to divorce. She doesn't leave the best friend either. All is kept hush hush. All is business as usual. They all still hang out. Still party.

What is there to be worked up about? A working arrangement has been arrived at and everyone is happy na?

by Guest Wed Oct 15, 2014 9:24 am

Merlot Daruwala wrote:
Beatrix Kiddo wrote:He has always been a flirt. Doesn't even realize when he himself crosses over. This time he gets emotional about a woman 15 years younger, who is wife of a friend, and is also her best friend. And HE goes into depression. Asks wife to accept it. She doesn't. He says he can't help falling in love, is not in his control, and maybe she should accept that as he gives her so much love too (??). They go into therapy. He wants a divorce. She wants a divorce. Both take anti depressants. Decide not to divorce. She doesn't leave the best friend either. All is kept hush hush. All is business as usual. They all still hang out. Still party.

What is there to be worked up about? A working arrangement has been arrived at and everyone is happy na?

Not really. Wife is a big mess and sees the sham, so is the husband but he is in love and feels trapped. The two have zero connection and when they are not in their group they have no idea what to say to each other. I am thinking maybe that's why they are keeping quiet for now. Coz making it public would mean splitting their friend circle and as of now both will have nothing if they lose that. Plus they are in a joint business that is worth a million or more dollars. So they just drown themselves in endless travels and mindless shoppings. She has no love left for money or anything material. She has no mother sister daughter or close friend to talk to. At a deep level she feels completely alone. Her only salvation is her work.

by Guest Wed Oct 15, 2014 9:40 am

What's the position of the wife's friend in this scenario? Is she in love with the older dude? Any kiddos involved here?

by Guest Wed Oct 15, 2014 9:46 am

Kinnera wrote:What's the position of the wife's friend in this scenario? Is she in love with the older dude? Any kiddos involved here?

Friend's position is fuzzy on this. It looks like, or it's been made to look it's a one-sided thing on his part, but also given enough hints that it's not. Obviously the friend is not willing to leave her husband for him. Kids are in college, don't live with them. Dunno about the friend's kids.

by smArtha Wed Oct 15, 2014 9:48 am

Beatrix Kiddo wrote:
Merlot Daruwala wrote:
Beatrix Kiddo wrote:He has always been a flirt. Doesn't even realize when he himself crosses over. This time he gets emotional about a woman 15 years younger, who is wife of a friend, and is also her best friend. And HE goes into depression. Asks wife to accept it. She doesn't. He says he can't help falling in love, is not in his control, and maybe she should accept that as he gives her so much love too (??). They go into therapy. He wants a divorce. She wants a divorce. Both take anti depressants. Decide not to divorce. She doesn't leave the best friend either. All is kept hush hush. All is business as usual. They all still hang out. Still party.

What is there to be worked up about? A working arrangement has been arrived at and everyone is happy na?

Not really. Wife is a big mess and sees the sham, so is the husband but he is in love and feels trapped. The two have zero connection and when they are not in their group they have no idea what to say to each other. I am thinking maybe that's why they are keeping quiet for now. Coz making it public would mean splitting their friend circle and as of now both will have nothing if they lose that. Plus they are in a joint business that is worth a million or more dollars. So they just drown themselves in endless travels and mindless shoppings. She has no love left for money or anything material. She has no mother sister daughter or close friend to talk to. At a deep level she feels completely alone. Her only salvation is her work.

What has 'Indian' marriage got to do with all these 'love compulsions' and 'arrangements of convenience' arrived at for family, children, business or social reasons. If the Guy and that younger girl in the narration are so much in Love that they don't want to be constrained by the other structures then they will anyway make a move. If not, they had chosen to be comfortable in those structures. You made such choices of 'convenience or compulsions' yourself and so do most people be it in love, marriage, relationships, career, health, finances and very many areas.

by Guest Wed Oct 15, 2014 9:51 am

Beatrix Kiddo wrote:
Kinnera wrote:What's the position of the wife's friend in this scenario? Is she in love with the older dude? Any kiddos involved here?

Friend's position is fuzzy on this. It looks like, or it's been made to look it's a one-sided thing on his part, but also given enough hints that it's not. Obviously the friend is not willing to leave her husband for him. Kids are in college, don't live with them. Dunno about the friend's kids.

wait....so the friend is also married and has kids? I thought she was single. So now what does the husband want to do? The friend may not leave her family for him. If he divorces his wife, what's he going to do with the friend still married?

by Guest Wed Oct 15, 2014 9:59 am

Merlot Daruwala wrote:
Beatrix Kiddo wrote:He has always been a flirt. Doesn't even realize when he himself crosses over. This time he gets emotional about a woman 15 years younger, who is wife of a friend, and is also her best friend. And HE goes into depression. Asks wife to accept it. She doesn't. He says he can't help falling in love, is not in his control, and maybe she should accept that as he gives her so much love too (??). They go into therapy. He wants a divorce. She wants a divorce. Both take anti depressants. Decide not to divorce. She doesn't leave the best friend either. All is kept hush hush. All is business as usual. They all still hang out. Still party.

What is there to be worked up about? A working arrangement has been arrived at and everyone is happy na?

They are on anti depressants, MD. They ain't happy.

by Guest Wed Oct 15, 2014 10:20 am

Kinnera wrote:
Beatrix Kiddo wrote:
Kinnera wrote:What's the position of the wife's friend in this scenario? Is she in love with the older dude? Any kiddos involved here?

Friend's position is fuzzy on this. It looks like, or it's been made to look it's a one-sided thing on his part, but also given enough hints that it's not. Obviously the friend is not willing to leave her husband for him. Kids are in college, don't live with them. Dunno about the friend's kids.
wait....so the friend is also married and has kids? I thought she was single. So now what does the husband want to do? The friend may not leave her family for him. If he divorces his wife, what's he going to do with the friend still married?

no idea... maybe find consolation in another affair? Wife is tired of it though. He's not a hardcore playboy from what I see. Highly emotional fool. Wears his heart on his sleeves. An adventurous man, deep into sports and all things physical and borderline dangerous. Has to play tennis and/or 2-hour gym daily. He has done bungi jumping, sky diving, Harley road trips with other junkies and annual skiing trips, you name it. And all this is in India, precisely, while based in my village. Grew up poor, parents didn't have a regular job or stable house. Was the youngest of 4-5 kids. Sometimes lived with one married sister, sometimes with another. Never went to a decent school, but managed to get into a decent college, where he found her, many years his juniors. He tried his luck on pretty much all the girls from his caste, but got rejected by everyone, until he found her.

otoh, she was the sweetest most loving girl I have seen growing up. Completely down to earth, total no nonsense, no frills, no airs. Only child. Middle class. Always felt alone though coz of many family situations. He pursued her for years, while she showed no interest. Was not in her nature to completely push back either. Again, a lot of family situations finally made her consider him after he proved to be an immense support for her, as he was street smart. Her family didn't approve of him but didn't stop either. He guided her career, right from selecting the right fields and trainings for her, along with his own, and before you know, they were filthy rich. We all thought what a perfect guy he was for her, even though no one really liked him. With time though, all warmed up to him, as he was always jovial and became somewhat less-cheap with time. (I still never liked him coz of one bad impression made years ago, and over the years, I avoided every chance to interact with him, but thought ok chalo he is good with her and for her).

However, now we learn that there was always a disconnect between the two. There was never really a common ground between the two.

Guess, if you are an ashiq once, you are an ashiq forever, only the object of your love changes.

by Guest Wed Oct 15, 2014 10:28 am

smArtha wrote:
Beatrix Kiddo wrote:
Merlot Daruwala wrote:
Beatrix Kiddo wrote:He has always been a flirt. Doesn't even realize when he himself crosses over. This time he gets emotional about a woman 15 years younger, who is wife of a friend, and is also her best friend. And HE goes into depression. Asks wife to accept it. She doesn't. He says he can't help falling in love, is not in his control, and maybe she should accept that as he gives her so much love too (??). They go into therapy. He wants a divorce. She wants a divorce. Both take anti depressants. Decide not to divorce. She doesn't leave the best friend either. All is kept hush hush. All is business as usual. They all still hang out. Still party.

What is there to be worked up about? A working arrangement has been arrived at and everyone is happy na?

Not really. Wife is a big mess and sees the sham, so is the husband but he is in love and feels trapped. The two have zero connection and when they are not in their group they have no idea what to say to each other. I am thinking maybe that's why they are keeping quiet for now. Coz making it public would mean splitting their friend circle and as of now both will have nothing if they lose that. Plus they are in a joint business that is worth a million or more dollars. So they just drown themselves in endless travels and mindless shoppings. She has no love left for money or anything material. She has no mother sister daughter or close friend to talk to. At a deep level she feels completely alone. Her only salvation is her work.

What has 'Indian' marriage got to do with all these 'love compulsions' and 'arrangements of convenience' arrived at for family, children, business or social reasons. If the Guy and that younger girl in the narration are so much in Love that they don't want to be constrained by the other structures then they will anyway make a move. If not, they had chosen to be comfortable in those structures. You made such choices of 'convenience or compulsions' yourself and so do most people be it in love, marriage, relationships, career, health, finances and very many areas.

But it is a very indian cultural thing, maybe among the rich and powerful? The whole complexity of it. Have seen many many variations of it so far.

by Merlot Daruwala Wed Oct 15, 2014 10:50 am

Kinnera wrote:
Beatrix Kiddo wrote:
Kinnera wrote:What's the position of the wife's friend in this scenario? Is she in love with the older dude? Any kiddos involved here?

Friend's position is fuzzy on this. It looks like, or it's been made to look it's a one-sided thing on his part, but also given enough hints that it's not. Obviously the friend is not willing to leave her husband for him. Kids are in college, don't live with them. Dunno about the friend's kids.
wait....so the friend is also married and has kids? I thought she was single. So now what does the husband want to do? The friend may not leave her family for him. If he divorces his wife, what's he going to do with the friend still married?

Assuming the friend was a willing and equal participant, I can't help wonder why Unkil wouldn't just carry on in secret. Did wife discover the affair and force the old man to come out in the open?

OTOH, if Unkil revealed the affair on his own, he's either using this as an excuse to dump the wife or he's become senile (which is always a hazard in being an unkil).

by Guest Wed Oct 15, 2014 11:08 am

Merlot Daruwala wrote:
Kinnera wrote:
Beatrix Kiddo wrote:
Kinnera wrote:What's the position of the wife's friend in this scenario? Is she in love with the older dude? Any kiddos involved here?

Friend's position is fuzzy on this. It looks like, or it's been made to look it's a one-sided thing on his part, but also given enough hints that it's not. Obviously the friend is not willing to leave her husband for him. Kids are in college, don't live with them. Dunno about the friend's kids.
wait....so the friend is also married and has kids? I thought she was single. So now what does the husband want to do? The friend may not leave her family for him. If he divorces his wife, what's he going to do with the friend still married?

Assuming the friend was a willing and equal participant, I can't help wonder why Unkil wouldn't just carry on in secret. Did wife discover the affair and force the old man to come out in the open?

OTOH, if Unkil revealed the affair on his own, he's either using this as an excuse to dump the wife or he's become senile (which is always a hazard in being an unkil).

guess this is where the story's location comes in. In a small city like mine, that too in a close-knit village community, you cannot carry out anything in private. They would sms each other endlessly late nights (is what raised her suspicion), make plans, for example, a long drive, between the two, then bring the two extras (spouses) along as well. He confessed it all to her and cried saying how he can't help it.

On the topic, what is with this indian (probably small city) thing to go on long drives on the bypass or highways after hours? wth. Many years ago, a friend of XH and his wife came over to take us somewhere, I think around 10-11 pm. I thought chalo maybe this will end in some kind of road-side chai or eating haunt or maybe some distant farm house of a friend or anything (I was picked up at the end, so had no idea what the plan was). We drove for like 45 minutes when I realize that 'road-at-night' is the highlight of this trip. Everybody get a high and praise what fun it is to drive fast on an empty highway, and come back. Felt so stupid, but XH hushed me in time to not say anything abrupt and make them look stupid.

by Bittu Wed Oct 15, 2014 12:33 pm

I saw that BK made this thread, read the first post and immediately felt "everyone brace yourselves. wall of text incoming soon..."

by Bittu Wed Oct 15, 2014 12:40 pm

I read this with a lot of patience:

"He has always been a flirt. Doesn't even realize when he himself crosses over. This time he gets emotional about a woman 15 years younger, who is wife of a friend, and is also her best friend. And HE goes into depression. Asks wife to accept it. She doesn't. He says he can't help falling in love, is not in his control, and maybe she should accept that as he gives her so much love too (??). They go into therapy. He wants a divorce. She wants a divorce. Both take anti depressants. Decide not to divorce. She doesn't leave the best friend either. All is kept hush hush. All is business as usual. They all still hang out. Still party."

I can tell that something went down and there was some love-shove turmoil but everything else is a haze.

Doesn't even realize when he himself crosses over - crosses over what? marital threshold? becomes a cross dresser?

a woman 15 years younger, who is wife of a friend, and is also her best friend - the best friend is his own wife's friend? or is the 15 yrs younger woman the best friend of her husband?

Meri mano, tum hindi mein likha karo. Yeh inglis-vinglis tumhaare bas ki baat nahi hai.

by confuzzled dude Wed Oct 15, 2014 12:45 pm

Seriously BK? Do you think this is a common theme among Indian marriages thus prompted you to say indian marriages all fucking shams.

by Guest Wed Oct 15, 2014 12:46 pm

Bittu wrote:I read this with a lot of patience:

"He has always been a flirt. Doesn't even realize when he himself crosses over. This time he gets emotional about a woman 15 years younger, who is wife of a friend, and is also her best friend. And HE goes into depression. Asks wife to accept it. She doesn't. He says he can't help falling in love, is not in his control, and maybe she should accept that as he gives her so much love too (??). They go into therapy. He wants a divorce. She wants a divorce. Both take anti depressants. Decide not to divorce. She doesn't leave the best friend either. All is kept hush hush. All is business as usual. They all still hang out. Still party."

I can tell that something went down and there was some love-shove turmoil but everything else is a haze.

Doesn't even realize when he himself crosses over - crosses over what? marital threshold? becomes a cross dresser?

a woman 15 years younger, who is wife of a friend, and is also her best friend - the best friend is his own wife's friend? or is the 15 yrs younger woman the best friend of her husband?

Meri mano, tum hindi mein likha karo. Yeh inglis-vinglis tumhaare bas ki baat nahi hai.

crosses over from flirting to being serious.

The dude cheated on his wife with her own best friend and that woman is ALSO his friend's wife.

by Guest Wed Oct 15, 2014 12:48 pm

confuzzled dude wrote:Seriously BK? Do you think this is a common theme among Indian marriages thus prompted you to say indian marriages all fucking shams.

have seen this theme play out in many marriages, but this is not the common theme when I say how so many marriages are a sham. Having said that, I have seen some really good and successful marriages as well.

The reason why I am going sleepless over this, literally (kept turning in my bed till 2:00 am last night), is coz I thought this couple was one of those successful ones.

by Bittu Wed Oct 15, 2014 12:56 pm

"The reason why I am going sleepless over this, literally (kept turning in my bed till 2:00 am last night), is coz I thought this couple was one of those successful ones."

Maybe they ARE successful.
Maybe their idea of successful doesn't involve having sex with another partner.
Maybe they are A-OK about extramarital sex.
Maybe the husband is a cuckold.
Maybe the wife is a hotwife.

If I were sleepless, I would want to be sleepless over issues that impact me or my loved ones. Nope, ex-BF/GFs don't count.

by Guest Wed Oct 15, 2014 1:00 pm

Bittu wrote:"The reason why I am going sleepless over this, literally (kept turning in my bed till 2:00 am last night), is coz I thought this couple was one of those successful ones."

Maybe they ARE successful.
Maybe their idea of successful doesn't involve having sex with another partner.
Maybe they are A-OK about extramarital sex.
Maybe the husband is a cuckold.
Maybe the wife is a hotwife.

If I were sleepless, I would want to be sleepless over issues that impact me or my loved ones. Nope, ex-BF/GFs don't count.

looks like you read just one wall of text.

by seven Wed Oct 15, 2014 1:12 pm

Beatrix Kiddo wrote:He has always been a flirt. Doesn't even realize when he himself crosses over. This time he gets emotional about a woman 15 years younger, who is wife of a friend, and is also her best friend. And HE goes into depression. Asks wife to accept it. She doesn't. He says he can't help falling in love, is not in his control, and maybe she should accept that as he gives her so much love too (??). They go into therapy. He wants a divorce. She wants a divorce. Both take anti depressants. Decide not to divorce. She doesn't leave the best friend either. All is kept hush hush. All is business as usual. They all still hang out. Still party.

He fell in love with his wife's best friend?
It takes guts to come clean n tell your spouse you love someone else.

Shilpa Shetty fell in love with n married her best friend's husband. They are happy.
Your friends need to lose the drama n divorce n marry the people they love. The wife who was easy going really sweet girl growing up should let him go n not make him n herself go thru therapy n anti depressants.

God bless complicated people.

by Bittu Wed Oct 15, 2014 1:22 pm

"looks like you read just one wall of text."

IMHO it takes a certain mindset to read all the other walls of text in this thread. I don't have that mindset.

Perhaps, one day, when I'm in jail for a long long time and have a laptop with internet connection...with a firewall policy that lets me access only such.forumotion.com...

by Guest Wed Oct 15, 2014 1:28 pm

seven wrote:
Beatrix Kiddo wrote:He has always been a flirt. Doesn't even realize when he himself crosses over. This time he gets emotional about a woman 15 years younger, who is wife of a friend, and is also her best friend. And HE goes into depression. Asks wife to accept it. She doesn't. He says he can't help falling in love, is not in his control, and maybe she should accept that as he gives her so much love too (??). They go into therapy. He wants a divorce. She wants a divorce. Both take anti depressants. Decide not to divorce. She doesn't leave the best friend either. All is kept hush hush. All is business as usual. They all still hang out. Still party.

He fell in love with his wife's best friend?
It takes guts to come clean n tell your spouse you love someone else.

Shilpa Shetty fell in love with n married her best friend's husband. They are happy.
Your friends need to lose the drama n divorce n marry the people they love. The wife who was easy going really sweet girl growing up should let him go n not make him n herself go thru therapy n anti depressants.

God bless complicated people.

I think different people have different ways of dealing with mid life crisis. Anyhoos, in this particular case, the husband wants to keep both, and be open about it. The wife is tired of keeping an eye on him. A point had come when both wanted out. Times are still volatile for them. Both of them cry a lot. I fear given a choice, she will keep the best friend and dump him. Splitting of kids may not be a problem, but splitting their close knit family empire will be a bigger issue. If this fight gets going, it may turn very ugly very soon. Like a drama twist, he got seriously ill, so she ended up taking care of him, and that's what's ongoing now. She is not my friend actually. Much older to me, and I am 41.

by seven Wed Oct 15, 2014 1:34 pm

They can be mature about it n not split assets. Just get divorce or start living separately.

It's almost like love is a virus or some disease that he has no control over. Crying is so teenager like...and going into depression is so old people like.
He needs a tight slap n a reality check. Something to bring his akkal in place. DQ :p

You have interesting friends.

by Bittu Wed Oct 15, 2014 1:41 pm

7, in my mind, you and I are already having an affair. I know I know, across the country and all that but really, we are.

One day I hope to be really pleased to meet you, with meat to please you.

I love you

by Guest Wed Oct 15, 2014 1:44 pm

seven wrote:They can be mature about it n not split assets. Just get divorce or start living separately.

It's almost like love is a virus or some disease that he has no control over. Crying is so teenager like...and going into depression is so old people like.
He needs a tight slap n a reality check. Something to bring his akkal in place. DQ :p

You have interesting friends.

I have often wondered if this really is the case. One would think everyone knows people like this in their lives.

by seven Wed Oct 15, 2014 1:46 pm

Affairs can happen bittu. Across oceans. In people's heads.
About the meet meat pleased line - watch bang bang.
One day ka matlab never.
Are you saying you hope to never meet me? :-|

by seven Wed Oct 15, 2014 1:50 pm

Beatrix Kiddo wrote:
seven wrote:They can be mature about it n not split assets. Just get divorce or start living separately.

It's almost like love is a virus or some disease that he has no control over. Crying is so teenager like...and going into depression is so old people like.
He needs a tight slap n a reality check. Something to bring his akkal in place. DQ :p

You have interesting friends.

I have often wondered if this really is the case. One would think everyone knows people like this in their lives.

Everyone lives in the same world. But world to each individual is different. *your* world is interesting.
Same people are friends with many. But the side you see is interesting.

by Guest Wed Oct 15, 2014 1:52 pm

Falling in love with a friend's wife who also happens to be his wife's best friend and then wanting to divorce the wife though the other woman may not leave her husband? My guess is that the guy is going through a midlife crisis and hence acting crazy. This shall pass soon and he's going to be a domesticated, faithful, gharelu husband eventually. Yeah, he getting seriously ill and wife taking care of him speeds up the process.

by Guest Wed Oct 15, 2014 1:55 pm

Beatrix Kiddo wrote:
seven wrote:They can be mature about it n not split assets. Just get divorce or start living separately.

It's almost like love is a virus or some disease that he has no control over. Crying is so teenager like...and going into depression is so old people like.
He needs a tight slap n a reality check. Something to bring his akkal in place. DQ :p

You have interesting friends.

I have often wondered if this really is the case. One would think everyone knows people like this in their lives.

Nopes. All the ppl that i know have the same story. Marriage, jobs, kids, their education....etc. No deviation.

by Guest Wed Oct 15, 2014 1:56 pm

Kinnera wrote:
Beatrix Kiddo wrote:
seven wrote:They can be mature about it n not split assets. Just get divorce or start living separately.

It's almost like love is a virus or some disease that he has no control over. Crying is so teenager like...and going into depression is so old people like.
He needs a tight slap n a reality check. Something to bring his akkal in place. DQ :p

You have interesting friends.

I have often wondered if this really is the case. One would think everyone knows people like this in their lives.
Nopes. All the ppl that i know have the same story. Marriage, jobs, kids, their education....etc. No deviation.

by seven Wed Oct 15, 2014 1:58 pm

Kinnera wrote:Falling in love with a friend's wife who also happens to be his wife's best friend and then wanting to divorce the wife though the other woman may not leave her husband? My guess is that the guy is going through a midlife crisis and hence acting crazy. This shall pass soon and he's going to be a domesticated, faithful, gharelu husband eventually. Yeah, he getting seriously ill and wife taking care of him speeds up the process.

I think I'll start a thread to find out how suchers deal with mid life crisis. Zumba, diet plans and weight control efforts part of it? iWonder.

I already know how I'll deal with it. I sometimes have it already like couple of weeks ago I was seriously considering quitting my job n starting my own business. Indian boutique. I can design prettier lehengas than what people wear today. Flattering all shapes n sizes.

by Guest Wed Oct 15, 2014 2:00 pm

Beatrix Kiddo wrote:
Kinnera wrote:
Beatrix Kiddo wrote:
seven wrote:They can be mature about it n not split assets. Just get divorce or start living separately.

It's almost like love is a virus or some disease that he has no control over. Crying is so teenager like...and going into depression is so old people like.
He needs a tight slap n a reality check. Something to bring his akkal in place. DQ :p

You have interesting friends.

I have often wondered if this really is the case. One would think everyone knows people like this in their lives.
Nopes. All the ppl that i know have the same story. Marriage, jobs, kids, their education....etc. No deviation.

:(9

Arre!

kyon? all the interesting stories around you can make you a more interesting person, no?

by Guest Wed Oct 15, 2014 2:07 pm

seven wrote:
Kinnera wrote:Falling in love with a friend's wife who also happens to be his wife's best friend and then wanting to divorce the wife though the other woman may not leave her husband? My guess is that the guy is going through a midlife crisis and hence acting crazy. This shall pass soon and he's going to be a domesticated, faithful, gharelu husband eventually. Yeah, he getting seriously ill and wife taking care of him speeds up the process.

I think I'll start a thread to find out how suchers deal with mid life crisis. Zumba, diet plans and weight control efforts part of it? iWonder.

I already know how I'll deal with it. I sometimes have it already like couple of weeks ago I was seriously considering quitting my job n starting my own business. Indian boutique. I can design prettier lehengas than what people wear today. Flattering all shapes n sizes.

Zumbas, diet plans, wt control efforts don't come under mid life crisis. They are part of a more healthy and vibrant life style.
When you have your midlife crisis, you go into depression and prolly act like the man in this story. You are getting there soon, 7. Razz

Women usually hit their midlife crisis when they hit their 30s.

by seven Wed Oct 15, 2014 2:38 pm

How long do they last?

by Guest Wed Oct 15, 2014 2:55 pm

my midlife crisis usually included doing things *now* that I feared I may not be able to do after 50. I am not sure if it's over, as it was never an ongoing thing, just spikes here and there. I would like to believe I never suffered from it, or maybe it has not hit yet. I was 'old' even in my 20s, if you asked XH.

I did go through a highly traumatic period roughly 2009-2013. Especially 2011-2012. Made a lot of stupid decisions then, ignored usual words of cautions, of myself and my friends. Paid a price for that. That phase is over. I will still prefer to call it traumatic, not mid life.

by Guest Wed Oct 15, 2014 3:03 pm

seven wrote:How long do they last?

A few yrs. They say it lasts 7 yrs (the 7 yr itch), but it may not last that long.

by Guest Wed Oct 15, 2014 3:14 pm

Beatrix Kiddo wrote:I did go through a highly traumatic period roughly 2009-2013. Especially 2011-2012. Made a lot of stupid decisions then, ignored usual words of cautions, of myself and my friends. Paid a price for that. That phase is over. I will still prefer to call it traumatic, not mid life.

the trauma overtook your midlife crisis Smile

. srsly, that could be it. You had bigger problems to deal with and no time for midlife crisis.

by garam_kuta Wed Oct 15, 2014 3:15 pm

Kinnera wrote:
seven wrote:How long do they last?
A few yrs. They say it lasts 7 yrs (the 7 yr itch), but it may not last that long.

LOL. j/k with 7 on 7, huh?

I thought the 7 year itch is the non-linear attenuation time in mutual "love" Rolling Eyes

, just after marriage. and you are right that doesn't even last that long these days..

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Wed Oct 15, 2014 3:29 pm

Beatrix Kiddo wrote:all fucking shams.

Actually all marriages are after 7 years.

Have to read your thread in detail and give my "informed" opinion. It looks like a movie that Impy should watch/read rather than Amytaville horror.

by seven Wed Oct 15, 2014 4:03 pm

Kinnera wrote:
seven wrote:How long do they last?
A few yrs. They say it lasts 7 yrs (the 7 yr itch), but it may not last that long.

For me it will be 3. That's my number. Average is 7?

by garam_kuta Wed Oct 15, 2014 6:49 pm

seven wrote:
Kinnera wrote:
seven wrote:How long do they last?
A few yrs. They say it lasts 7 yrs (the 7 yr itch), but it may not last that long.

For me it will be 3. That's my number. Average is 7?

7Y

by seven Wed Oct 15, 2014 6:55 pm

by garam_kuta Fri Oct 17, 2014 2:05 pm

Why more women choose not to marry?...what it comes down to is people get married when it's a good deal. The question is why isn't marriage a good deal anymore?

by Guest Fri Oct 17, 2014 2:10 pm

garam_kuta wrote:Why more women choose not to marry?...what it comes down to is people get married when it's a good deal. The question is why isn't marriage a good deal anymore?

Yeah I was reading this article earlier. Makes me wonder. People always say that marriage is an institution made by women, for security. Does that mean with time as they find other means of security, they been discarding marriage. Does that also mean men have mostly been pappus all these years? When women want to marry, marry. When they don't want to, oh well, guess men didn't want marriage in the first place?

by garam_kuta Fri Oct 17, 2014 2:20 pm

Beatrix Kiddo wrote:
garam_kuta wrote:Why more women choose not to marry?...what it comes down to is people get married when it's a good deal. The question is why isn't marriage a good deal anymore?

Yeah I was reading this article earlier. Makes me wonder. People always say that marriage is an institution made by women, for security. Does that mean with time as they find other means of security, they been discarding marriage. Does that also mean men have mostly been pappus all these years? When women want to marry, marry. When they don't want to, oh well, guess men didn't want marriage in the first place?

all this will be clear once you realize that there is no such thing as men; they are all just glorified boys Rolling Eyes

until recently, most stuff written on women is by them, isn't it? don't want to sound too much like sadhguru; he may come in my dream on halloween Laughing

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