I hated everything about America — until I moved here

But what colored my image of the United States were the pompous relatives and friends who came back to India after an education in the “blessed land.” They would talk with a patronizing air as if they had nothing more to learn. They would carry around their own bottled water, claiming that drinking the local water now made them sick. They would speak disapprovingly of the country’s “social evils” — the caste system, the payment of dowries, the preference for male children – with a newly acquired Yankee accent.

They would scoff at these things, ignoring the progress being made in India – many of the girls in our family were college-educated and had jobs. The returning experts who brought along their new white spouses were more insufferable than others. One such relative loved to bring up topics related to sex at the dinner table, then laugh at the sight of our uncomfortable faces.

“Do you see how they try and change the topic?” he would point out to his white spouse. “You see, sex is a taboo subject in India.”

These experiences led me to believe America was a place of condescending, lascivious xenophobes. They had India all wrong, I thought. 

Three years after we married, my husband got a job in Singapore. He waved away my tearful arguments, promising we could return to India if I didn’t like it. Luckily, Singapore turned out to be a paradise. I frequented the malls, parks and libraries, marveling at the order and discipline, which was sorely missing in India. I got a great job as a magazine editor that allowed me to travel and connect with people from around the world. I absorbed new concepts and examined my old beliefs.

That was just the first of my many positive revelations about Americans. As it turned out, of the various people my job put me in touch with, Americans were the ones I got along with best. They were funny and genial. They spoke engagingly, embodying all the golden rules of public speaking that I had read in Toastmasters manuals: body language, vocal variety, persuasiveness. And their confidence was impressive; almost every American I came across – man or woman, subordinate or the top executive – had a certain confidence (sometimes bordering on cockiness) that came from being totally at ease with the world. I admired the freedom and congeniality. 

The sense of camaraderie made me feel welcome and comfortable in no time. Americans weren’t bad people at all.

These days, I surprise myself by strongly defending America against trite negative characterizations I hear in other countries. When I was young, I believed that Americans unfairly stereotyped India, but in fact, I had unfairly stereotyped Americans. I had criticized them for not knowing my culture, when I was equally ignorant about theirs. The truth is, the United States is not a land of arrogant xenophobes. It’s also not a utopia of freedom and wealth. Like all nations, it harbors a complicated culture, with many layers of good and bad.

If I were to write an essay about India’s brain drain today, I would not argue against the best and brightest leaving the country. Instead, I would encourage them to contribute to India by sending remittances to family from abroad, to help boost India’s economy and social progress. When people expand their worldview, they enrich themselves and humanity as a whole. I started off as an Indian, but I have become a global citizen.

confuzzled dude wrote:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2015/01/30/guns-sex-and-arrogance-i-hated-everything-about-america-until-i-moved-here/?hpid=z5

I was always fascinated about America and I still am, even after having lived in this country for more than two decades. Although I watched and liked many Hollywood action & western movies in India, was completely oblivious to the gun culture (of course, that was nearly a generation prior to this author's experience & before information age), had no exposure to American returned or those visiting home. Things that shocked me the most were short hairs and conservatism despite being aware of slavery and the treatment meted out to the blacks. I guess, I subconsciously assumed that was a thing of past and everyone is a changed person. In any case, at the end of the day, I can proudly say that America made me a better person and gave me a different perspective of looking at things. I probably would've lived like a chaddi had I lived in India all my life.

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:

confuzzled dude wrote:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2015/01/30/guns-sex-and-arrogance-i-hated-everything-about-america-until-i-moved-here/?hpid=z5

I was always fascinated about America and I still am, even after having lived in this country for more than two decades. Although I watched and liked many Hollywood action & western movies in India, was completely oblivious to the gun culture (of course, that was nearly a generation prior to this author's experience & before information age), had no exposure to American returned or those visiting home. Things that shocked me the most were short hairs and conservatism despite being aware of slavery and the treatment meted out to the blacks. I guess, I subconsciously assumed that was a thing of past and everyone is a changed person. In any case, at the end of the day, I can proudly say that America made me a better person and gave me a different perspective of looking at things. I probably would've lived like a chaddi had I lived in India all my life.

Instead you turned out to be an anti-hindu, iSlami-loving , "fake, liberal, intellectual" show-off.

P.S. this is an important post that sheds some points on why you are like what you are.

confuzzled dude wrote:

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:

confuzzled dude wrote:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2015/01/30/guns-sex-and-arrogance-i-hated-everything-about-america-until-i-moved-here/?hpid=z5

I was always fascinated about America and I still am, even after having lived in this country for more than two decades. Although I watched and liked many Hollywood action & western movies in India, was completely oblivious to the gun culture (of course, that was nearly a generation prior to this author's experience & before information age), had no exposure to American returned or those visiting home. Things that shocked me the most were short hairs and conservatism despite being aware of slavery and the treatment meted out to the blacks. I guess, I subconsciously assumed that was a thing of past and everyone is a changed person. In any case, at the end of the day, I can proudly say that America made me a better person and gave me a different perspective of looking at things. I probably would've lived like a chaddi had I lived in India all my life.

Instead you turned out to be an anti-hindu, iSlami-loving , "fake, liberal, intellectual" show-off.

P.S. this is an important post that sheds some points on why you are like what you are.

On second thought, I probably wouldn't have been as bad. My father, cousins and friends who live in India aren't Chaddis so the chances are I'd have been like them.

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:

confuzzled dude wrote:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2015/01/30/guns-sex-and-arrogance-i-hated-everything-about-america-until-i-moved-here/?hpid=z5

I was always fascinated about America and I still am, even after having lived in this country for more than two decades. Although I watched and liked many Hollywood action & western movies in India, was completely oblivious to the gun culture (of course, that was nearly a generation prior to this author's experience & before information age), had no exposure to American returned or those visiting home. Things that shocked me the most were short hairs and conservatism despite being aware of slavery and the treatment meted out to the blacks. I guess, I subconsciously assumed that was a thing of past and everyone is a changed person. In any case, at the end of the day, I can proudly say that America made me a better person and gave me a different perspective of looking at things. I probably would've lived like a chaddi had I lived in India all my life.

Instead you turned out to be an anti-hindu, iSlami-loving , "fake, liberal, intellectual" show-off.

P.S. this is an important post that sheds some points on why you are like what you are.

bw wrote:she hated america when she was in india - once she got the opportunity to move out, live the american dream(and hold an american passport perhaps), she turns a "global citizen". typical "make a virtue of one's life choices".

bw wrote:she hated america when she was in india - once she got the opportunity to move out, live the american dream(and hold an american passport perhaps), she turns a "global citizen". typical "make a virtue of one's life choices".

Kris wrote:

bw wrote:she hated america when she was in india - once she got the opportunity to move out, live the american dream(and hold an american passport perhaps), she turns a "global citizen". typical "make a virtue of one's life choices".

>> She also got used to the lack of servants, one of the gripes about American life earlier .