perspective

sometimes the same moment can have a different perspective when you look back at it later.

This india trip, xh and another relative has dragged us to meet a family just coz we were in that area. That uncle and aunty were my all time favorites. I had known them ever since I was dating XH in college, and they were very friendly with both of us. But I had not talked to them for many years after having a falling out with XH. And that day I felt very awkward to barge into someone's house with a big group, all of it my family, on a Sunday afternoon when we knew they all were napping. I had protested it quite a bit, but when xh makes up his mind about something, you can't do much.

They were very welcoming regardless. Kept assuring us not to feel embarrassed, and especially uncle was very hospitable. Even took the effort to take us to a nearby zoo that we didn't know about. I still felt bad and told off xh many times for doing this. After that day, they called us on what used to be our anniversary to wish us (as they don't know about the divorce), but I didn't get a chance to talk to them.

Well, that uncle suddenly passed away in his sleep last night. That whole day back in December has a completely new meaning to me now. Am so glad XH and another brother of mine dragged us there, or else I would have always rued the fact.

Life is so flaky... the one thing you learn is.. stop all the hesitations and formality. If you get a chance to meet someone, just do that. Who knows what's in store tomorrow.

Beatrix Kiddo wrote:
Life is so flaky... the one thing you learn is.. stop all the hesitations and formality. If you get a chance to meet someone, just do that. Who knows what's in store tomorrow.

ya.

Your post reminds me of this (i got this on whatsapp some time ago):


Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.
2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.
Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

http://topinfopost.com/2014/05/12/top-5-regrets-people-make-on-their-deathbed

Beatrix Kiddo wrote:sometimes the same moment can have a different perspective when you look back at it later.

This india trip, xh and another relative has dragged us to meet a family just coz we were in that area. That uncle and aunty were my all time favorites. I had known them ever since I was dating XH in college, and they were very friendly with both of us. But I had not talked to them for many years after having a falling out with XH. And that day I felt very awkward to barge into someone's house with a big group, all of it my family, on a Sunday afternoon when we knew they all were napping. I had protested it quite a bit, but when xh makes up his mind about something, you can't do much.

They were very welcoming regardless. Kept assuring us not to feel embarrassed, and especially uncle was very hospitable. Even took the effort to take us to a nearby zoo that we didn't know about. I still felt bad and told off xh many times for doing this. After that day, they called us on what used to be our anniversary to wish us (as they don't know about the divorce), but I didn't get a chance to talk to them.

Well, that uncle suddenly passed away in his sleep last night. That whole day back in December has a completely new meaning to me now. Am so glad XH and another brother of mine dragged us there, or else I would have always rued the fact.

Life is so flaky... the one thing you learn is.. stop all the hesitations and formality. If you get a chance to meet someone, just do that. Who knows what's in store tomorrow.

Another reason you should stop living constrained by the boundaries of your mental models and start living in the contextually relevant ones.

heavy statement... but i think i got it.

anyway, when XH's mom called aunty for condolences and asking for any help with arrangements, aunty specifically said to her, 'uncle was very happy when xh and vidya came by that day'.

Kinnera wrote:Your post reminds me of this (i got this on whatsapp some time ago):


Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.
2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.
Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

http://topinfopost.com/2014/05/12/top-5-regrets-people-make-on-their-deathbed

jesus. where do people come up with this shit? anyone who this much time to think is on a vacation, not on their deathbed.

pravalika nanda wrote:jesus. where do people come up with this shit? anyone who this much time to think is on a vacation, not on their deathbed.

Pravs, if you are on a vacation, but doing all the contemplation, then one wonders what kind of vacation you are on. All the 'if only...' stuff comes up when you are on your death bed, i guess.