what does your wife do?

by MaxEntropy_Man Sun Mar 29, 2015 7:56 pm

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-31828529

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Sun Mar 29, 2015 8:11 pm

MaxEntropy_Man wrote:http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-31828529

hahaha,,,When some almost stranger asks me this in India "I am unemployed...right now..." if they ask about my wife "Oh she is in IT". Believe me...no one asks me for any more details.

by Guest Sun Mar 29, 2015 8:40 pm

I think ppl who are not happy about their personal lives get annoyed and embarrassed by these questions. Others don't mind such questions. Personal inquiries are a part of getting to know the other person and carry on the conversation. It just shows that the other person is interested about you. Nothing wrong with that.

This is not unique to just indians. I work with a lot of ppl and many americans have asked me such questions: what does your husband do? do you have kids? how old are they? what do they do? do you have any pets? how long have you lived in US? does you family (parents, siblings, etc) live in india? etc. I don't mind answering any of those questions. Some ask me directly, some ask me subtly as a part of the conversation.

Whatever personal information i can get from them, i note it down in my notes (like the names of their children, their pets, the vacation they are going to, events in the family, etc) and enquire about them in their next visits. They seem pretty impressed about it and they go on and on about it/them. That's how I create a personal bond over time.

There's nothing wrong about personal inquiries. It's just that one has to be subtle and tactful about how, when and what to ask.

by Guest Sun Mar 29, 2015 8:45 pm

heard a lot of kahaniya while getting pedi today...

a 43-year-old woman was saying her 60-year-old dad is having a baby with his new 32-year-old wife, while other said her she is 27 now, and her parents divorced 2 years ago when she was 25, after they had been married 10 years scratch

... time passed quickly enough i must say... i stayed quiet through it, just exchanged amused looks with the lady who who hurting my toe nails.

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Sun Mar 29, 2015 11:38 pm

Kinnera wrote:I think ppl who are not happy about their personal lives get annoyed and embarrassed by these questions. Others don't mind such questions. Personal inquiries are a part of getting to know the other person and carry on the conversation. It just shows that the other person is interested about you. Nothing wrong with that.

This is not unique to just indians. I work with a lot of ppl and many americans have asked me such questions: what does your husband do? do you have kids? how old are they? what do they do? do you have any pets? how long have you lived in US? does you family (parents, siblings, etc) live in india? etc. I don't mind answering any of those questions. Some ask me directly, some ask me subtly as a part of the conversation.

Whatever personal information i can get from them, i note it down in my notes (like the names of their children, their pets, the vacation they are going to, events in the family, etc) and enquire about them in their next visits. They seem pretty impressed about it and they go on and on about it/them. That's how I create a personal bond over time.

There's nothing wrong about personal inquiries. It's just that one has to be subtle and tactful about how, when and what to ask.

I never like to give any details to any stranger. Of course, you are right to some extent in that I dont feel good about my life or (about the absence of any) accomplishments. So anytime, ppl ask personal questions about me or my family, I will divert and change the topic. Funny, I noticed even my uncles, aunts, and cousins are way behind and obsolete when it comes to my family details.

by Kris Mon Mar 30, 2015 1:07 am

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
Kinnera wrote:I think ppl who are not happy about their personal lives get annoyed and embarrassed by these questions. Others don't mind such questions. Personal inquiries are a part of getting to know the other person and carry on the conversation. It just shows that the other person is interested about you. Nothing wrong with that.

This is not unique to just indians. I work with a lot of ppl and many americans have asked me such questions: what does your husband do? do you have kids? how old are they? what do they do? do you have any pets? how long have you lived in US? does you family (parents, siblings, etc) live in india? etc. I don't mind answering any of those questions. Some ask me directly, some ask me subtly as a part of the conversation.

Whatever personal information i can get from them, i note it down in my notes (like the names of their children, their pets, the vacation they are going to, events in the family, etc) and enquire about them in their next visits. They seem pretty impressed about it and they go on and on about it/them. That's how I create a personal bond over time.

There's nothing wrong about personal inquiries. It's just that one has to be subtle and tactful about how, when and what to ask.

I never like to give any details to any stranger. Of course, you are right to some extent in that I dont feel good about my life or (about the absence of any) accomplishments. So anytime, ppl ask personal questions about me or my family, I will divert and change the topic. Funny, I noticed even my uncles, aunts, and cousins are way behind and obsolete when it comes to my family details.

>>I don't really provide much info only because I don't like prolonged conversations with people I have just met. The strangest conversation was at a meeting in LA with some state bank of india official. It had to do with a mutual client. The gentleman started asking me what my father had done for a living etc. My colleague who was also at the meeting was very puzzled. I don't think the gentleman meant anyhting and it was probably just curiosity, but it was weird.

by Guest Mon Mar 30, 2015 9:09 am

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
Kinnera wrote:I think ppl who are not happy about their personal lives get annoyed and embarrassed by these questions. Others don't mind such questions. Personal inquiries are a part of getting to know the other person and carry on the conversation. It just shows that the other person is interested about you. Nothing wrong with that.

This is not unique to just indians. I work with a lot of ppl and many americans have asked me such questions: what does your husband do? do you have kids? how old are they? what do they do? do you have any pets? how long have you lived in US? does you family (parents, siblings, etc) live in india? etc. I don't mind answering any of those questions. Some ask me directly, some ask me subtly as a part of the conversation.

Whatever personal information i can get from them, i note it down in my notes (like the names of their children, their pets, the vacation they are going to, events in the family, etc) and enquire about them in their next visits. They seem pretty impressed about it and they go on and on about it/them. That's how I create a personal bond over time.

There's nothing wrong about personal inquiries. It's just that one has to be subtle and tactful about how, when and what to ask.

I never like to give any details to any stranger. Of course, you are right to some extent in that I dont feel good about my life or (about the absence of any) accomplishments. So anytime, ppl ask personal questions about me or my family, I will divert and change the topic. Funny, I noticed even my uncles, aunts, and cousins are way behind and obsolete when it comes to my family details.

Uppili, the accomplishments part is very subjective. In any case, the strangers don't care abt it. They just ask those questions out of curiosity. I think the most sensitive questions are 'what does your husband/wife do?' and 'how many kids do you have?' to a middle aged person who doesn't have a spouse or kids. Most others don't mind them, i guess. My point was that it's not just an Indian thing. Even americans ask those questions.
My uncomfortable questions are when someone inquires if I have a pet and sometimes proceed to ask if i ever had one. Ans: no and never.

by Seva Lamberdar Mon Mar 30, 2015 10:37 am

MaxEntropy_Man wrote:http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-31828529

This woman seemed to misunderstand the question completely. The question from the stranger to her probably was not meant as what her husband really does, but whether she is unmarried and available. I know someone, quite good-looking, who keeps on getting the same question from strangers (men in buses, etc.) whether she is married.

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Mon Mar 30, 2015 10:38 am

Kinnera wrote:
Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
Kinnera wrote:I think ppl who are not happy about their personal lives get annoyed and embarrassed by these questions. Others don't mind such questions. Personal inquiries are a part of getting to know the other person and carry on the conversation. It just shows that the other person is interested about you. Nothing wrong with that.

This is not unique to just indians. I work with a lot of ppl and many americans have asked me such questions: what does your husband do? do you have kids? how old are they? what do they do? do you have any pets? how long have you lived in US? does you family (parents, siblings, etc) live in india? etc. I don't mind answering any of those questions. Some ask me directly, some ask me subtly as a part of the conversation.

Whatever personal information i can get from them, i note it down in my notes (like the names of their children, their pets, the vacation they are going to, events in the family, etc) and enquire about them in their next visits. They seem pretty impressed about it and they go on and on about it/them. That's how I create a personal bond over time.

There's nothing wrong about personal inquiries. It's just that one has to be subtle and tactful about how, when and what to ask.

I never like to give any details to any stranger. Of course, you are right to some extent in that I dont feel good about my life or (about the absence of any) accomplishments. So anytime, ppl ask personal questions about me or my family, I will divert and change the topic. Funny, I noticed even my uncles, aunts, and cousins are way behind and obsolete when it comes to my family details.
Uppili, the accomplishments part is very subjective. In any case, the strangers don't care abt it. They just ask those questions out of curiosity. I think the most sensitive questions are 'what does your husband/wife do?' and 'how many kids do you have?' to a middle aged person who doesn't have a spouse or kids. Most others don't mind them, i guess. My point was that it's not just an Indian thing. Even americans ask those questions.
My uncomfortable questions are when someone inquires if I have a pet and sometimes proceed to ask if i ever had one. Ans: no and never.

In India - there was no such thing as private. After all, until a couple of generations ago, a couple had sex in the same room with 10 other family members sleeping in the same room. Asking about age, salary, kids, wife, parents, etc...are not good. I heard 2 people talking about why the DIL of one of them was not getting pregnant. Actually, the old men were talking about grandkids, etc.. and one was analyzing about his DIL. And, this is a well educated rich guy with kids in the US.

Things have changed bcz people have more things to hide from others and do things that are not (yet) acceptable to the society.

by TruthSeeker Tue Mar 31, 2015 1:13 am

Dunno what she does, but after becoming a mother, ya allah! kya change re mama re! pakaati bahut hai. Pahle Sheela, baad mei Durga. Bhagwaan bachaaye husbands ko after their wives conceive. Ye poora planned hai.

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