once a cheater

by Guest Sat Jan 09, 2016 12:07 pm

http://diply.com/auntyacid/article/once-cheater-always-cheater-may-more-true-than-thought

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Sat Jan 09, 2016 2:19 pm

Beatrix Kiddo wrote:http://diply.com/auntyacid/article/once-cheater-always-cheater-may-more-true-than-thought

Cheaters convince themselves that cheating is not actually cheating if they can justify - usually by blaming the other sides (spouse, fellow co-cheater, env including in-laws, jobs, gas price, you name it.)

by Propagandhi711 Sat Jan 09, 2016 4:43 pm

this cheater ended up being an ex-cheater

http://www.indiawest.com/news/global_indian/orange-county-man-charged-with-murder-of-wife/article_c304ce8f-77b4-502c-aa41-71d4b7b64ab8.html

http://www.latimes.com/socal/daily-pilot/news/tn-dpt-me-0109-rastogi-sentencing-20160108-story.html

by Propagandhi711 Sat Jan 09, 2016 5:04 pm

http://mynewsla.com/orange-county/2015/10/29/prosecutors-strangled-wifes-body-was-stashed-in-closet-while-he-took-kids-to-jack-in-the-box/

by Guest Sat Jan 09, 2016 5:24 pm

sad story…

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Sat Jan 09, 2016 5:31 pm

...Was that woman a Syrian Catholic from Keral?

by Propagandhi711 Sat Jan 09, 2016 6:13 pm

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:

...Was that woman a Syrian Catholic from Keral?

roman catholic from keral

by seven Sun Jan 10, 2016 6:34 pm

Morals are cold company. Maybe you're an idealist n never cheated on your husband while you were married, so you give cheaters a hard time or look down upon them. But cheating may not be a bad thing.
I think we should do what makes us happy n not worry about labels.

by MaxEntropy_Man Sun Jan 10, 2016 6:40 pm

Propagandhi711 wrote:http://mynewsla.com/orange-county/2015/10/29/prosecutors-strangled-wifes-body-was-stashed-in-closet-while-he-took-kids-to-jack-in-the-box/

we knew this family. the kids were devastated when they learned of the news.

by Guest Sun Jan 10, 2016 6:50 pm

seven wrote:Morals are cold company. Maybe you're an idealist n never cheated on your husband while you were married, so you give cheaters a hard time or look down upon them. But cheating may not be a bad thing.
I think we should do what makes us happy n not worry about labels.

i was just… quoting the article that i found interesting.

but to your point, ya. i was very idealist and didn't cheat or even flirt when in marriage. but that's me. am no longer that idealist when it comes to judging others. do whatever. i can only speak of my comfort level and thresholds.

having said that, have seen both sides of it… currently witnessing a marriage fall apart, of someone i have known almost all my life. is indeed heartbreaking if the spouse finds out and has to deal with it. so many apologies and wooing backs, can get tiring. tough situation overall. tbh, i really have no comments on this issue anymore. if you want to cheat, just be extremely smart about it, and do respect your spouse if you want to stay in the marriage. *shrug*

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Sun Jan 10, 2016 6:54 pm

seven wrote:Morals are cold company. Maybe you're an idealist n never cheated on your husband while you were married, so you give cheaters a hard time or look down upon them. But cheating may not be a bad thing.
I think we should do what makes us happy n not worry about labels.

Ok... a hard question...hypothetical, perhaps...

What would you do if you cme to know that your hubby cheated on you with someone you know ?

by seven Sun Jan 10, 2016 6:59 pm

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
seven wrote:Morals are cold company. Maybe you're an idealist n never cheated on your husband while you were married, so you give cheaters a hard time or look down upon them. But cheating may not be a bad thing.
I think we should do what makes us happy n not worry about labels.

Ok... a hard question...hypothetical, perhaps...

What would you do if you cme to know that your hubby cheated on you with someone you know ?

It would never come to that. **may God come between cheating n my shadi**

Hypothetically speaking, if my husband is cheating on me, I'll know at some level we are unhappy n he doesn't love me as much anymore. I'll know it's coming n when I find out I'll ask him what he wants. If he is in love with this other person. If he wants to end our marriage. If he loves me more n wants to fix our marriage. And other questions. Find out what he wants n how I feel about it, go from there.

by Guest Sun Jan 10, 2016 7:25 pm

seven wrote:
Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
seven wrote:Morals are cold company. Maybe you're an idealist n never cheated on your husband while you were married, so you give cheaters a hard time or look down upon them. But cheating may not be a bad thing.
I think we should do what makes us happy n not worry about labels.

Ok... a hard question...hypothetical, perhaps...

What would you do if you cme to know that your hubby cheated on you with someone you know ?

It would never come to that. **may God come between cheating n my shadi**

Hypothetically speaking, if my husband is cheating on me, I'll know at some level we are unhappy n he doesn't love me as much anymore. I'll know it's coming n when I find out I'll ask him what he wants. If he is in love with this other person. If he wants to end our marriage. If he loves me more n wants to fix our marriage. And other questions. Find out what he wants n how I feel about it, go from there.

what's love got to do with it? one can be completely happy in a marriage and still fool around. one can be the hottest body and completely fulfilling in the bed (and otherwise) every day, and yet the spouse will look around if they are so inclined. not seen too many people leaving their wives, or husbands, for a little side action. such talks are best if not happening.

by seven Sun Jan 10, 2016 7:30 pm

The fact that they're hiding it from their spouse indicates they don't want it to affect their marriage n therefore are unlikely to throw away all that they built together.

My point is we sit down n talk it out. Not kill the cheater. The husband had to know deep down that his wife doesn't love him. Well I don't think she would have cheated if she truly loved her husband. So yes, love has something to do with this.
If someone has a gene for cheating n it makes them happy. But the other partner doesn't like it, it's better they separate.

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Sun Jan 10, 2016 7:36 pm

seven wrote:The fact that they're hiding it from their spouse indicates they don't want it to affect their marriage n therefore are unlikely to throw away all that they built together.

My point is we sit down n talk it out. Not kill the cheater. The husband had to know deep down that his wife doesn't love him. Well I don't think she would have cheated if she truly loved her husband. So yes, love has something to do with this.
If someone has a gene for cheating n it makes them happy. But the other partner doesn't like it, it's better they separate.

Totally confusing... what u saying?

by Guest Sun Jan 10, 2016 7:39 pm

seven wrote:The fact that they're hiding it from their spouse indicates they don't want it to affect their marriage n therefore are unlikely to throw away all that they built together.

My point is we sit down n talk it out. Not kill the cheater. The husband had to know deep down that his wife doesn't love him. Well I don't think she would have cheated if she truly loved her husband. So yes, love has something to do with this.
If someone has a gene for cheating n it makes them happy. But the other partner doesn't like it, it's better they separate.

oh ya.. talking about the news props posted. no need to kill the cheater. he/she may have wronged you, but they still mean a lot to many people, especially the kids. kids just want a parent. cheater/non cheater, who cares. sad story. guess the defense did try their best to portray her as uncaring and volatile. looks like they were indeed separating, and things heated up upon terms and conditions when he took that step. wrong heated decision at wrong time, and everything got screwed up for the kids especially.

by seven Sun Jan 10, 2016 8:02 pm

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
seven wrote:The fact that they're hiding it from their spouse indicates they don't want it to affect their marriage n therefore are unlikely to throw away all that they built together.

My point is we sit down n talk it out. Not kill the cheater. The husband had to know deep down that his wife doesn't love him. Well I don't think she would have cheated if she truly loved her husband. So yes, love has something to do with this.
If someone has a gene for cheating n it makes them happy. But the other partner doesn't like it, it's better they separate.

Totally confusing... what u saying?

i answered your question upthread.

here i'm saying if someone has a gene for cheating and cant help but cheat, even though they love their spouse but the spouse doesn't like it, they have to pick what/who they care more about - cheating or their partner. if its cheating, they should separate/divorce.

tracy said it doesnt have to do with love and i disagree. gene or no gene, no one would cheat if they were truly in love.

i also said dont kill but talk it out.

by MaxEntropy_Man Sun Jan 10, 2016 8:14 pm

One thing we got out of this is that one never knows what goes on behind closed doors. A seemingly perfect family, and such a horror story. Difficult to understand.

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