savory

by Guest Sat Aug 10, 2019 7:59 am

Having spent the last ounce out of each other, they collapsed. He nestled his face under the curve of her neck, digging into her cotton orange tank top until he found the perfect nook. Arms locked in embrace, they lazily napped. He silently passed out, breathing gently on her; she went in and out of consciousness, resting her chin on his thick abundant hair, sometimes running her fingers through them, aware of combined rhythmic pounding against her chest. Was it exhaustion, or the comfort of his weight on her, or was it just overwhelming gratitude, or maybe everything put together. A tear rolled down one of her eyes. In the absence of true long-lasting love, this wholesome warm cuddle was the second best thing that kept her going.

by Huzefa Sat Aug 10, 2019 10:46 am

sulu wrote:Having spent the last ounce out of each other, they collapsed. He nestled his face under the curve of her neck, digging into her cotton orange tank top until he found the perfect nook. Arms locked in embrace, they lazily napped. He silently passed out, breathing gently on her; she went in and out of consciousness, resting her chin on his thick abundant hair, sometimes running her fingers through them, aware of combined rhythmic pounding against her chest. Was it exhaustion, or the comfort of his weight on her, or was it just overwhelming gratitude, or maybe everything put together. A tear rolled down one of her eyes. In the absence of true long-lasting love, this wholesome warm cuddle was the second best thing that kept her going.you have found self.

seems like you have found self

it was not exhaustion or comfort of his weight on her.

it was tathata. everybody experiences tathata -- almost.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tath%C4%81t%C4%81

reply fast. i am also a tathata -- i might not stay.

by Huzefa Sat Aug 10, 2019 10:49 am

you destroy everything you write everyday

i destroyed everything i wrote one day

we are so much alike

by Kris Sat Aug 10, 2019 11:28 am

Y

sulu wrote:Having spent the last ounce out of each other, they collapsed. He nestled his face under the curve of her neck, digging into her cotton orange tank top until he found the perfect nook. Arms locked in embrace, they lazily napped. He silently passed out, breathing gently on her; she went in and out of consciousness, resting her chin on his thick abundant hair, sometimes running her fingers through them, aware of combined rhythmic pounding against her chest. Was it exhaustion, or the comfort of his weight on her, or was it just overwhelming gratitude, or maybe everything put together. A tear rolled down one of her eyes. In the absence of true long-lasting love, this wholesome warm cuddle was the second best thing that kept her going.

Nice optics! Rather than the binary of “true long lasting love” or nothing, why not transfer that love to other things: hobbies, work, life itself? That way one is not beholden to a life circumscribed by an ideal that is primarily the result of hormonal activity set in stage in the teenage years. Some philosophical thoughts on a Saturday morning Smile

by Guest Sat Aug 10, 2019 2:53 pm

Huzefa wrote:
sulu wrote:Having spent the last ounce out of each other, they collapsed. He nestled his face under the curve of her neck, digging into her cotton orange tank top until he found the perfect nook. Arms locked in embrace, they lazily napped. He silently passed out, breathing gently on her; she went in and out of consciousness, resting her chin on his thick abundant hair, sometimes running her fingers through them, aware of combined rhythmic pounding against her chest. Was it exhaustion, or the comfort of his weight on her, or was it just overwhelming gratitude, or maybe everything put together. A tear rolled down one of her eyes. In the absence of true long-lasting love, this wholesome warm cuddle was the second best thing that kept her going.you have found self.

seems like you have found self

it was not exhaustion or comfort of his weight on her.

it was tathata. everybody experiences tathata -- almost.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tath%C4%81t%C4%81

reply fast. i am also a tathata -- i might not stay.

interesting concept. i think i get it, this part, " "We know we are experiencing the 'thatness' of reality when we experience something and say to ourselves, 'Yes, that's it; that is the way things are.' In the moment, we recognize that reality is wondrously beautiful but also that its patterns are fragile and passing."^[7]

by Guest Sat Aug 10, 2019 2:55 pm

Huzefa wrote:you destroy everything you write everyday

i destroyed everything i wrote one day

we are so much alike

i was devastated when i learned you destroyed everything, but i think i understood the freedom you may have felt with it.

yeah i sometimes write to let it out of my system. If the next day or in a few hours i am not feeling it anymore, or if i think it had too many flaws, i delete them. Sometimes, and especially if i am first typing it on my home laptop, i save a copy. Having said that, i have also regretted some of the stuff i have deleted permanently, so i don't know, it varies.

by Guest Sat Aug 10, 2019 2:59 pm

Kris wrote:Y
sulu wrote:Having spent the last ounce out of each other, they collapsed. He nestled his face under the curve of her neck, digging into her cotton orange tank top until he found the perfect nook. Arms locked in embrace, they lazily napped. He silently passed out, breathing gently on her; she went in and out of consciousness, resting her chin on his thick abundant hair, sometimes running her fingers through them, aware of combined rhythmic pounding against her chest. Was it exhaustion, or the comfort of his weight on her, or was it just overwhelming gratitude, or maybe everything put together. A tear rolled down one of her eyes. In the absence of true long-lasting love, this wholesome warm cuddle was the second best thing that kept her going.
Nice optics! Rather than the binary of “true long lasting love” or nothing, why not transfer that love to other things: hobbies, work, life itself? That way one is not beholden to a life circumscribed by an ideal that is primarily the result of hormonal activity set in stage in the teenage years. Some philosophical thoughts on a Saturday morning

thanks... and lol you are the second person in last 3 months who kinda said the same thing to me. but idk. I think when you are in a relationship, you forget how much a human touch is important, or you don't value it as much; or idk, maybe not all are the same way and maybe for some of us it is very important. most of us are pretty busy in day to day lives, especially in this country, but i think it's still very human to seek a human connection, atleast a few times in a year.

by Kris Sat Aug 10, 2019 4:00 pm

Human to human interaction is important. No question. Look, you can’t fight biology. What I am saying is from a meta perspective. Step back and do other things, so that one aspect of your life becomes somewhat peripheral. If it happens, serendipity! If it doesn’t, well you have other things. I think in our case culturally we buy into th

by Kris Sat Aug 10, 2019 4:25 pm

Continued:
Culturally many of us buy into the one true one ideal. Realistically I don’t know how often this happens. Life is complex. Other things come up like studies, work, taxes Sad

, kids etc., The idea is to roll with the punches.

by Guest Sat Aug 10, 2019 6:15 pm

yeah you are right... life is complex, and different things give you happiness at different times, and i guess it's ok to seek whatever works for you. and yep, things come up, and there's one thing that i am focusing a lot more lately on, that stress is a highly underrated killer, so i try my best not to get too wound up. right now we are collectively doing a painting by numbers, and seriously once you get into it and focus, it's such a huge distraction from everything else. seriously reco it for stress busting.

by Huzefa Sat Aug 10, 2019 11:51 pm

sulu wrote:
Huzefa wrote:
sulu wrote:Having spent the last ounce out of each other, they collapsed. He nestled his face under the curve of her neck, digging into her cotton orange tank top until he found the perfect nook. Arms locked in embrace, they lazily napped. He silently passed out, breathing gently on her; she went in and out of consciousness, resting her chin on his thick abundant hair, sometimes running her fingers through them, aware of combined rhythmic pounding against her chest. Was it exhaustion, or the comfort of his weight on her, or was it just overwhelming gratitude, or maybe everything put together. A tear rolled down one of her eyes. In the absence of true long-lasting love, this wholesome warm cuddle was the second best thing that kept her going.you have found self.

seems like you have found self

it was not exhaustion or comfort of his weight on her.

it was tathata. everybody experiences tathata -- almost.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tath%C4%81t%C4%81

reply fast. i am also a tathata -- i might not stay.

interesting concept. i think i get it, this part, " "We know we are experiencing the 'thatness' of reality when we experience something and say to ourselves, 'Yes, that's it; that is the way things are.' In the moment, we recognize that reality is wondrously beautiful but also that its patterns are fragile and passing."^[7]

yes, you got it.

by Huzefa Sun Aug 11, 2019 12:02 am

sulu wrote:
Huzefa wrote:you destroy everything you write everyday

i destroyed everything i wrote one day

we are so much alike

i was devastated when i learned you destroyed everything, but i think i understood the freedom you may have felt with it.

yeah i sometimes write to let it out of my system. If the next day or in a few hours i am not feeling it anymore, or if i think it had too many flaws, i delete them. Sometimes, and especially if i am first typing it on my home laptop, i save a copy. Having said that, i have also regretted some of the stuff i have deleted permanently, so i don't know, it varies.

yes there was profound liberation after destruction.

one of the reasons why we destroy is what you experience -- profound dissatisfaction with what we have written. we are not the same person moment to moment. we thus have difficulty empathizing with the person who wrote what we wrote yesterday. my difficulty was that i always seemed to capture tathata in words at the moment i was writing it, but after a day the words did not evoke the same feeling in me. so frustration, destruction and repeat effort.

also, after intensively studied language in the last one year, i am not so interested in communicating anything using language now. the desire to master language and trap thoughts in it and express them, is gone.

by Huzefa Sun Aug 11, 2019 12:16 am

also, i do not have expectation of being understood when i say something. the expectation has diminished. so i don't feel misunderstood and i don't get angry. if i have been misunderstood, i use a different approach and explain again or listen again. you should also do this. Smile

language is not the perfect tool for communication. the perfect tool is the feeling of tathata -- it is the closest we can get to god.

by Huzefa Sun Aug 11, 2019 5:58 am

Oh! I forgot to emphasize that the problem is not with our writing. The problem is with us

by Guest Sun Aug 11, 2019 8:58 am

Huzefa wrote:my difficulty was that i always seemed to capture tathata in words at the moment i was writing it, but after a day the words did not evoke the same feeling in me. so frustration, destruction and repeat effort.

same here, although i never took my writing seriously. as in i wrote simply to express, but not to make it a writing piece that can be polished, refined, shared.

Huzefa wrote:also, after intensively studied language in the last one year, i am not so interested in communicating anything using language now. the desire to master language and trap thoughts in it and express them, is gone.

studied language? As in?

Huzefa wrote:also, i do not have expectation of being understood when i say something. the expectation has diminished. so i don't feel misunderstood and i don't get angry. if i have been misunderstood, i use a different approach and explain again or listen again. you should also do this.

i do this with my daughter, who doesn't exactly misunderstands me, but her sensibilities are way above my capabilities, so she picks on the minutest things and highlights that, even things i may have said very casually. So when i hear the feedback, i have to express and re-express until i am able to convey the exact sentiment of what i am saying. And vice versa.

But for others, this is what i have learned. You could bare your heart and soul to them but they will filter it all in based on where they are coming from. Like i told my entire xh saga to someone once, and all they had to say later was, 'you have kept xh with you just coz he cooks and cleans'. boggled my mind. doing reverse psychology, i realized they glossed over all the complex parts coz they had no experience in it, but cooking and cleaning dynamics in a couple was something they knew well, and hence the misplaced focus. Now, to someone else i told some other story, which showed myself in a poor light morally, but they said, 'wow you have a big heart'. Very unexpected. And i said, 'really? coz i think i have a bad moral compass.' And they began a big discussion on how morality itself is a relative term.

Like my daughter and i were discussing the other day. You have NO way of knowing what's going on in someone's head. You may think you have used all the right words, but it's scary that you will not know what effect they had on whom. And this applies to ourselves too I guess. We also must be misunderstanding so many people, based on our own experiences. And hence it's so important to keep an open mind, and be forever learning. Like that Amitabh-jaya-rekha story i posted earlier. I am STILL interpreting her lol

by Guest Sun Aug 11, 2019 9:24 am

to finish the thought above, i guess it's also ok if one wants to open up only to people they think they will understand them better, and shut out to people who one knows won't. I learned this one the harder way myself, after having been burnt many times. Now i filter people majorly. And it's not about who is smarter or dumber, it's about who has the same wavelength and outlook as yours, who is more judgemental, and who is willing to let what slide. Could be that you are too hardcore for someone else's sensibilities. Doesn't make either of you any better. It's all relative, and you strive until u find that balance in someone.

by Huzefa Sun Aug 11, 2019 12:26 pm

you are beautiful. i know my saying that has no effect.

i also never took my writing seriously. had we, we both have had been in professions requiring writing as mainstay.

by Guest Sun Aug 11, 2019 3:15 pm

Huzefa wrote:you are beautiful. i know my saying that has no effect.

thanks

by Huzefa Mon Aug 12, 2019 7:34 am

sulu wrote:

Huzefa wrote:also, after intensively studied language in the last one year, i am not so interested in communicating anything using language now. the desire to master language and trap thoughts in it and express them, is gone.

studied language? As in?

i won't describe the journey but i will tell you where and how it ended.

you saw glimpses of the journey last year when i was talking obsessively about logic, mathematics and language.

i came out of the roller coaster, after almost 1.5 years, in a very happy place. i discovered Eternity through Buddha. I found God. Reincarnation makes perfect mathematical sense to me as explained by Buddha. I believe in multiple universes, parallel universes and everything that physics is forced to mathematically accept.

It will taker me many lives to reach Nirvana. I think in this life only the understanding and yearning for it has dawned.

Maybe the TS is ahead of us. Smile

Maybe he was serious or maybe he was not -- nobody can tell from internet posts.

We are all seeking and headed towards Nirvana. We do not have anywhere else to go either. We all take different times and many lives to get there. Buddha's methods are one method of reaching there. Others methods prescribed by the Church or the Imam or Mother Teresa are also acceptable. It's a question of which method appeals to you.

by Huzefa Mon Aug 12, 2019 7:54 am

the big difficulty with God is that we cannot evaluate anything except in the binary logic of true/false. true and false is what we humans do and it is the backbone of every language including mathematics and speech.

so whenever God comes up, we have to first answer whether he exists or not before we can discuss or explain him. The atheist and the imam are both right but it is just that that they do not know that god exists and also does not exist at the same time -- so they always think the other is "wrong."

this is also why it was difficult for me to understand Buddha. Buddha refused to use any words or language to describe Nibbana because he knew that the truth is not expressible -- it is beyond language.

Buddha never says anything about God. But it requires a careful reading to understand that he spoke about God.

by Guest Tue Aug 13, 2019 11:01 am

all this punarjanam, moksha, pay or reap in this birth for the last one (being a human is still decent coz super bad conduct can make u an animal in next one); correct this birth for reaping benefits in the next one. all these talks i grew up with listening to my nanny, who herself believed in it strongly, thinking this janam of hers is a pariksha, and she will do everything right to improve her next one, which hopefully will be the last one before moksha, coz 'my soul is tired of coming back on this earth again and again'. I assumed this was the basis of Hinduism (karma). I didn't know she was practicing Buddhism. I don't think SHE knew she was practicing Buddhism.

by Huzefa Wed Aug 14, 2019 7:06 am

sulu wrote:I assumed this was the basis of Hinduism (karma). I didn't know she was practicing Buddhism. I don't think SHE knew she was practicing Buddhism.

kya bolen sulu... you are either crazy or getting there. rehne do. :-)

by garam_kuta Wed Aug 14, 2019 10:03 am

first,

Quest- is that the panacea? encompassing it all?

starting at 8:10

by Guest Wed Aug 14, 2019 11:17 am

Huzefa wrote:
sulu wrote:I assumed this was the basis of Hinduism (karma). I didn't know she was practicing Buddhism. I don't think SHE knew she was practicing Buddhism.
kya bolen sulu... you are either crazy or getting there. rehne do. :-)

lol arre.. your posts sent me down on a such a memory lane... originally i wanted to reply with a super long post about what all i used to always hear from her, but didn't get around to it... maybe one day i will, she has a major influence on my growing up.

and yeah, i am crazy lol, always been. Been called weird almost always, not that i take any pride in it. Just the other day i was having a discussion with a friend where i was passionately defending myself (forgot the context now), and at one point i raised my hand, shrugged my shoulders, ticked my head to the side and began a sentence with , 'i am a normal person ... ' and he began laughing. Rolling Eyes

by Huzefa Wed Aug 14, 2019 12:08 pm

sulu wrote:
Huzefa wrote:
sulu wrote:I assumed this was the basis of Hinduism (karma). I didn't know she was practicing Buddhism. I don't think SHE knew she was practicing Buddhism.
kya bolen sulu... you are either crazy or getting there. rehne do. :-)

lol arre.. your posts sent me down on a such a memory lane... originally i wanted to reply with a super long post about what all i used to always hear from her, but didn't get around to it... maybe one day i will, she has a major influence on my growing up.

and yeah, i am crazy lol, always been. Been called weird almost always, not that i take any pride in it. Just the other day i was having a discussion with a friend where i was passionately defending myself (forgot the context now), and at one point i raised my hand, shrugged my shoulders, ticked my head to the side and began a sentence with , 'i am a normal person ... ' and he began laughing.

kya bolen sulu. maybe it is better not to bolo anything. so i won't. :-)

by Huzefa Wed Aug 14, 2019 12:56 pm

garam_kuta wrote:first,

Quest- is that the panacea? encompassing it all?

starting at 8:10

good one. i agree with all sadhguru says in this video.

GK, encompassing all is the panacea, but not in a literal sense (i feel you know this already). if you encompass all, you are left with nothing. reality is neither true nor false. we make whatever is actually out there true/false by our capacity of "maya." How does this maya work? nobody knows (and i don't think we will ever know).

that reality is a paradox even the atheist is able to intuit. but how does a paradox become true/false and what about the infinite questions this separation of true from false raise? buddha does not bother with these infinite metaphysical questions because it does not help us find happiness he says. buddha concentrates only on "the way he discovered" to happiness and not true/false questions of metaphysics. the hindus, sikhs, jains and christians bother about these metaphysical questions and then these questions becomes the issues of those religions. if you don't bother, it does not become your problem at all.

by the way GK, Mahavira said that a truthful answer to anything was "perhaps" and not "true/false."

by Huzefa Thu Aug 15, 2019 3:37 am

GK, Osho also understand Buddha. you might like this as well --

the next questions that arise are: :-)

do i think osho was englightened? what about sadhguru?

my answer -- we don't know. ramana maharshi gave the right answer to such questions in my opinion. he said -- it is not possible for us to tell who is enlightened and who is not. enlightenment has nothing to do with one's outward demeanor. we can only tell if we are enlightened or not.

am i enlightened? -- not at all. i have only collected a yearning for it. i now want to be enlightened. and i know it's neither easy, nor quick. i am having difficulty developing the training for it (practice & discipline). but i am confident i will overcome even that.

if you are interested, i will post some little known conversations buddha had with his shramanic gurus who taught him how to achieve enlightenment. they are fascinating.

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