who grinds my gears?

by Another Brick Thu May 12, 2011 8:44 am

people who advise "be confident but not overconfident." the problem is, nobody knows the difference between the two. perhaps, there is no such thing as overconfidence. and such people give their verdict depending upon the result. if you are successful, you were confident. if you have failed, you were overconfident. ditto for cautious/overcautious and brave/stupid.

yet, people dish out such advice thinking they have revealed some secret mantra of success. such people grind my gears.

by Guest Thu May 12, 2011 9:09 am

guess they want to say, if you are planning to be this cocky, better win too.

by Impedimenta Thu May 12, 2011 9:37 am

Another Brick wrote:people who advise "be confident but not overconfident." the problem is, nobody knows the difference between the two. perhaps, there is no such thing as overconfidence. and such people give their verdict depending upon the result. if you are successful, you were confident. if you have failed, you were overconfident. ditto for cautious/overcautious and brave/stupid.

yet, people dish out such advice thinking they have revealed some secret mantra of success. such people grind my gears.

stop all this for a second, ok? i need food NOW. i've been here since the start of time and the cafeteria is closed. so, ya that grinds my everything.

by SomeProfile Thu May 12, 2011 6:47 pm

Another Brick wrote:people who advise "be confident but not overconfident." the problem is, nobody knows the difference between the two. perhaps, there is no such thing as overconfidence. and such people give their verdict depending upon the result. if you are successful, you were confident. if you have failed, you were overconfident. ditto for cautious/overcautious and brave/stupid.

yet, people dish out such advice thinking they have revealed some secret mantra of success. such people grind my gears.

It is the same thing with flirting with / seducing a woman. There are some generally accepted rules and social norms, but most successful guys are the ones who break some rule or the other. If a guy breaks a rule and he is successful, he is perceived as being dashing, romantic, brave, heroic, a real man, etc. If a guy breaks the rule and is unsuccessful, then he is a douchebag, a creep, a sleaze, etc. In reality, the man is not any of these adjectives. They are just artificial labels slapped on him by external observers. Deep down, the man is just a man.

by Guest Thu May 12, 2011 6:53 pm

SomeProfile wrote:It is the same thing with flirting with / seducing a woman. There are some generally accepted rules and social norms, but most successful guys are the ones who break some rule or the other. If a guy breaks a rule and he is successful, he is perceived as being dashing, romantic, brave, heroic, a real man, etc. If a guy breaks the rule and is unsuccessful, then he is a douchebag, a creep, a sleaze, etc. In reality, the man is not any of these adjectives. They are just artificial labels slapped on him by external observers. Deep down, the man is just a man.

Am just glad that men are genetically designed to make the first move, or else I would forever be sitting here doing nothing.

by SomeProfile Thu May 12, 2011 7:05 pm

Tracy Whitney wrote:
Am just glad that men are genetically designed to make the first move, or else I would forever be sitting here doing nothing.

True... and I am always impressed when I see a woman who knows how to react to that first move in just the right way, regardless of whether she likes the guy or not. If the girl likes the guy, she should react with just enough positivity that the guy is encouraged to try the next incremental move. Incremental is the keyword here. Don't encourage the guy so much that it goes from 0 to 80 mph in 4 minutes. Let him put in some work to 'win' your attention. On the other hand, if the girl does not like the guy, she should react with the right combination of assertiveness and civility that the guy does not try his next moves with her and he walks away with his ego, pride intact. No need to go so ballistic on the guy or insult him so much that he is too afraid to try the move with another girl who might actually be perfect for him.

This is an art that is unfortunately not taught to most girls these days.

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