Hit a new low today

by Bittu Mon Jun 04, 2012 10:47 am

Jacked off *during* a call with offshore team. Done this before so this isn't the NEW low.

Fantasized about getting a BJ from my 60 yr old nanny, during said jacking off session.

That is low. A new low for me.

Not a good way to kick off the work week. Funk.

by Mr. T Mon Jun 04, 2012 10:54 am

Now that is sinking to the depths...you gotta get laid soon dude...i fear for your stability at this rate..

by Bittu Mon Jun 04, 2012 11:01 am

Yes, T. I'm going to go off like a bomb one of these days.

Background: Toasters are a mystery to this nanny. Don't ask. She struggles with operating a f'n toaster. So this morning she was standing in front of the toaster, wondering how to shut it off and get the bread out. I went over to help, and in doing so, she was an inch away from me. I usually maintain physical distance from her. So anyway, the toast situation was sorted out, but then I started musing about what a BJ from her would feel like, and then things quickly escalated into a jerk-during-work situation.

FML.

by Guest Mon Jun 04, 2012 11:04 am

And a normal wife would think hiring a 60-year-old nanny is safe enough. Mad

by Mr. T Mon Jun 04, 2012 11:22 am

"With Bittu, nothing is safe..."

by Propagandhi711 Mon Jun 04, 2012 11:37 am

Bittu wrote:Jacked off *during* a call with offshore team. Done this before so this isn't the NEW low.

Fantasized about getting a BJ from my 60 yr old nanny, during said jacking off session.

That is low. A new low for me.

Not a good way to kick off the work week. Funk.

BJ must get better with 60 yrs olds - imagine no teeth

by Bittu Mon Jun 04, 2012 1:36 pm

Wanked again after lunch, this time fantasized about my mom's brother's wife.

I believe some kind of intervention is needed at this point. I'm going down a slippery, hellish slope of abject depravity...

by Guest Mon Jun 04, 2012 5:48 pm

Kya re Bittu! i have such high standards for you...altar, pedestal and stuff. Do something before you turn into one of those ubiquitous pervy unkles in India.

by Bittu Mon Jun 04, 2012 9:17 pm

kinnera wrote:Do something before you turn into one of those ubiquitous pervy unkles in India.

Sorry, but already THERE.

by Bittu Tue Jun 05, 2012 9:35 am

Today's better. Spank material:

https://i.imgur.com/2o35S.gif

by Bittu Tue Jun 05, 2012 9:41 pm

k so now shyt's getting really weird. 2 days after TMB left, the nanny said to me, "Let me know if you want me to come back in the evening, in case you want to go out" I dismissed it and thought nothing of it. Today evening again she goes "Being with two kids is too hard on you. I'm sure you could use a break. If you wanna go out in the evening, I can be there. You can come back late if you want, no problems"

Holy shyt. The ef is going on? I'm about 20% inclined to do it. FML x 100, I know.

by Guest Tue Jun 05, 2012 10:20 pm

hmm. there is a little land mine here. TMB may get a report on your evening/late night outings. Twisted Evil

by Guest Tue Jun 05, 2012 11:52 pm

Bittu wrote:k so now shyt's getting really weird. 2 days after TMB left, the nanny said to me, "Let me know if you want me to come back in the evening, in case you want to go out" I dismissed it and thought nothing of it. Today evening again she goes "Being with two kids is too hard on you. I'm sure you could use a break. If you wanna go out in the evening, I can be there. You can come back late if you want, no problems"

Holy shyt. The ef is going on? I'm about 20% inclined to do it. FML x 100, I know.

hmm. there is a little land mine here. TMB may get a report on your evening/late night outings. ---nats

Had a discussion abt this in chat. Bittu insists that she's suggesting having sex with him. I say that that's pure BS. Shouldn't read too much into it. she's only being sympathetic to him for taking care of two little kids all by himself and wants to give him a break. Bittu thinks I am clueless Rolling Eyes

One chatter says she wants extra cash

Another one says the same too, that she wants extra cash. When i mentioned what bittu thinks, her reply is, "if she grabbed his ass that's a sure sign." (or) "smack her ass & see what she does"

by Bittu Wed Jun 06, 2012 8:49 am

Nanny shmanny auntie shanty F it. The burning question of today is "Who shall I jerk off to this morning?"

by Mr. T Wed Jun 06, 2012 10:10 am

Bittu - Taking one shag at a time !!!

by Guest Wed Jun 06, 2012 10:11 am

Mr. T wrote:Bittu - Taking one shag at a time !!!

lol, atleast the earlier stories would be of REAL shagging. how the time changes, sigh!

by Bittu Wed Jun 06, 2012 10:37 am

Natalia Romanova wrote:
Mr. T wrote:Bittu - Taking one shag at a time !!!

lol, atleast the earlier stories would be of REAL shagging. how the time changes, sigh!

LOL

by Mr. T Wed Jun 06, 2012 10:40 am

Natalia Romanova wrote:
Mr. T wrote:Bittu - Taking one shag at a time !!!

lol, atleast the earlier stories would be of REAL shagging. how the time changes, sigh!

We just accept the reality and move on...

by Bittu Wed Jun 06, 2012 1:05 pm

by truthbetold Wed Jun 06, 2012 1:22 pm

Bittu you got a long way to go. You have not explored racial, bestiality and same gender variety. When your character comes up stories on those topics you may be scrapping the bottom.

by Bittu Wed Jun 06, 2012 2:55 pm

Racial, done.
Bestliality, done - 3 different types of animals.
Same gender - not yet but sorta-kinda-maybe open to the idea.

by Petrichor Wed Jun 06, 2012 3:11 pm

When is the Compendium of Standard Deviants' Sexual Escapades coming (sic)?

by Guest Wed Jun 06, 2012 4:57 pm

Bittu wrote:
Bestliality, done - 3 different types of animals.

I know about the cat. There are two other animals besides that? Rolling Eyes

by Nila Thu Jun 07, 2012 12:05 am

kinnera wrote:
Bittu wrote:
Bestliality, done - 3 different types of animals.

I know about the cat. There are two other animals besides that?

WHAT? A Cat!?

Men!

by Nila Thu Jun 07, 2012 12:06 am

Bittu wrote:Jacked off *during* a call with offshore team. Done this before so this isn't the NEW low.

Fantasized about getting a BJ from my 60 yr old nanny, during said jacking off session.

That is low. A new low for me.

Not a good way to kick off the work week. Funk.

Ewwwwwww.

Organ malfunction....seek professional help.

by Bittu Thu Jun 07, 2012 9:09 am

kinnera wrote:
I know about the cat. There are two other animals besides that? :roll:

* There was a goat on my uncle's farm in Rajasthan. I banged her a few times. All I had to do is throw some greens in front of her, then run around to her back and stick my dick into her vag. Win-win?

* Dog#1: Friends of mine were going out of town so they left their two dogs with us. The female was a cranky bytch (duh) but the male was a friendly one. I mixed a weak sugar solution and put it into a plastic bag with a tiny hole in the bottom. I positioned the bag over my dick and let the sugar solution fall on my wang, one drop at a time. The dog licked my wang until spurtage. Awesome.

* Dog#2: Same situation as Dog#1 except...and this is weird..there was no sugar solution. My next door neighbor had this small female dog. We were hanging around in his room when he said he's going to take a shower and I can just chill and listen to music. The dog was around. I just stuck out my dick and this dog started licking it nonstop. No idea why. When I finally spurted, the dog began licking my jizz even more rapidly, like it was excited or something.

fun times fun times...

by Guest Thu Jun 07, 2012 9:38 am

am now darn curious about the cat story. anyone?

by Mr. T Thu Jun 07, 2012 10:14 am

Bittu wrote:
kinnera wrote:
I know about the cat. There are two other animals besides that?

* There was a goat on my uncle's farm in Rajasthan. I banged her a few times. All I had to do is throw some greens in front of her, then run around to her back and stick my dick into her vag. Win-win?

* Dog#1: Friends of mine were going out of town so they left their two dogs with us. The female was a cranky bytch (duh) but the male was a friendly one. I mixed a weak sugar solution and put it into a plastic bag with a tiny hole in the bottom. I positioned the bag over my dick and let the sugar solution fall on my wang, one drop at a time. The dog licked my wang until spurtage. Awesome.

* Dog#2: Same situation as Dog#1 except...and this is weird..there was no sugar solution. My next door neighbor had this small female dog. We were hanging around in his room when he said he's going to take a shower and I can just chill and listen to music. The dog was around. I just stuck out my dick and this dog started licking it nonstop. No idea why. When I finally spurted, the dog began licking my jizz even more rapidly, like it was excited or something.

fun times fun times...

All the while your dong was at the mercy of the dog !!!! Sigh !!!

by Bittu Thu Jun 07, 2012 10:47 am

Natalia Romanova wrote:am now darn curious about the cat story. anyone?

Sure. We had this 'stray' cat that my mom used to feed from time to time, so it hung around the house a lot. During winters it would come in through the window and get into the comforter. One winter night, it got into my bed so I started rubbing my dong on its back, on the silky soft fur. The cat didn't give a shyt, it was purring away and dozing off or whatever.

I was half asleep too but eventually spurtage happened right on the cat's fur. I guess I was too lazy to get up and spurt in the bathroom. So anyway. I jizzed. The cat immediately realized it has some wet substance on its body so it sprung out of bed and got down on the floor. The cat then licked off all the jizz from its fur.

This encounter was especially WIN for me because there was no clean up to do. Not sure why I didn't try it again. Or maybe I did. Who knows, been a while now and my long term memory has faded quite a bit.

by Guest Thu Jun 07, 2012 10:55 am

atcg wrote:When is the Compendium of Standard Deviants' Sexual Escapades coming (sic)?

Nah..it's not going to be such a complicated title. It's going to be something as simple as, "The Sexual Adventures of Bittu Zing, The Indian Casanova."
I am noting it all down (in my mind) as and when he narrates me his stories. Trace aka Nats has archived as many posts of his as she could from the old Sulekha. The efforts are going on in the right direction for the book. Razz

by doofus_maximus Thu Jun 07, 2012 10:58 am

That's enough INTERNET for the day.

by Guest Thu Jun 07, 2012 11:13 am

Mr. T wrote:
Bittu wrote:
kinnera wrote:
I know about the cat. There are two other animals besides that?

* There was a goat on my uncle's farm in Rajasthan. I banged her a few times. All I had to do is throw some greens in front of her, then run around to her back and stick my dick into her vag. Win-win?

* Dog#1: Friends of mine were going out of town so they left their two dogs with us. The female was a cranky bytch (duh) but the male was a friendly one. I mixed a weak sugar solution and put it into a plastic bag with a tiny hole in the bottom. I positioned the bag over my dick and let the sugar solution fall on my wang, one drop at a time. The dog licked my wang until spurtage. Awesome.

* Dog#2: Same situation as Dog#1 except...and this is weird..there was no sugar solution. My next door neighbor had this small female dog. We were hanging around in his room when he said he's going to take a shower and I can just chill and listen to music. The dog was around. I just stuck out my dick and this dog started licking it nonstop. No idea why. When I finally spurted, the dog began licking my jizz even more rapidly, like it was excited or something.

fun times fun times...

All the while your dong was at the mercy of the dog !!!! Sigh !!!

Yeah, that's such a scary thought! affraid

. Bittu sans his 5x5? *shudder*

Razz

by Bittu Thu Jun 07, 2012 12:30 pm

kinnera wrote:
Yeah, that's such a scary thought! :affraid: . Bittu sans his 5x5? *shudder*

:P

If I had no 5x5 or one that wasn't so needy, I'd be CEO of some company today. "TRUE FACT" this is.

by Guest Thu Jun 07, 2012 12:32 pm

Bittu wrote:
kinnera wrote:
Yeah, that's such a scary thought! . Bittu sans his 5x5? *shudder*

If I had no 5x5 or one that wasn't so needy, I'd be CEO of some company today. "TRUE FACT" this is.

I believe ya, Bittu.

by Bittu Thu Jun 07, 2012 3:30 pm

k so last night I 'finalized' a date with this woman I know. Date, time, name of restaurant. and today I got no flippin idea when and where we're supposed to meat.

DAFUQ. and DAHIC.

by Guest Thu Jun 07, 2012 4:23 pm

Bittu wrote:k so last night I 'finalized' a date with this woman I know. Date, time, name of restaurant. and today I got no flippin idea when and where we're supposed to meat.

DAFUQ. and DAHIC.

maybe meating is with the babysitter, who will wait late for you to get back Razz

by Bittu Thu Jun 07, 2012 5:08 pm

Natalia Romanova wrote:

maybe meating is with the babysitter, who will wait late for you to get back :P

:lol!:

by Guest Thu Jun 07, 2012 5:49 pm

Bittu wrote:k so last night I 'finalized' a date with this woman I know. Date, time, name of restaurant. and today I got no flippin idea when and where we're supposed to meat.

DAFUQ. and DAHIC.

Last night when I asked you if you did confirm the meating part, you boasted with a, 'Dude, I am a PRO at this. I damn well know how to handle these things," etc. Ya right! So much for your proness!

Razz

by FlowerPower Fri Jun 08, 2012 3:24 am

Wow is this a general forum or a cybersex forum? Today its one guy fantasising and mastrubating , tomorrow it would be some women talking about what gets them going etc....

Come on guys grow up a bit and if you want to talk sex get "room" preferably a chat room that the others may choose not to enter....

Bittu the handle is a bloody kid with a lot of time on hand and the rest of the female handles I suppose are middle aged men who need sildenafil citrate pills to get it up...

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