Facebook - the worst relationship keeper

by Guest Sun Jun 24, 2012 12:27 pm

You are just under an impression that you are in touch with friends. You see a few pics, updates and 'likes', and you think you are in proper touch with them. You reach out to them in real life lesser and lesser. Then you meet them once a year (what a shame), and discover major milestones in their life that you had no clue about. New property, pregnacy, losses, change of jobs. Likewise, they discover the same old (but new to them) stuff about you.

My resolution by 2013, rebuild local friendships and MEET THEM often. Fuck FB.

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Sun Jun 24, 2012 1:28 pm

Natalia Romanova wrote:You are just under an impression that you are in touch with friends. You see a few pics, updates and 'likes', and you think you are in proper touch with them. You reach out to them in real life lesser and lesser. Then you meet them once a year (what a shame), and discover major milestones in their life that you had no clue about. New property, pregnacy, losses, change of jobs. Likewise, they discover the same old (but new to them) stuff about you.

My resolution by 2013, rebuild local friendships and MEET THEM often. Fuck FB.

Anything on the net is fast, interesting, and exciting - but its longevity is inversely proportional to its fastness.

MEET THEM: Is it some signal to the local THEM?

by Bittu Sun Jun 24, 2012 2:35 pm

So let's see what happened. Natalia posted some pictures of her kids on FB and got four 'likes' and three comments total. Natalia is pissed.

Very Happy

by Guest Sun Jun 24, 2012 2:45 pm

Lol no. This revelation came after meeting some friends yesterday. Realized how un-updated I was. To the point of feeling embarrassed actually.

by Guest Sun Jun 24, 2012 3:51 pm

what nonsense!

was my first reaction...but i know what u mean. this happens when u add too many ppl u dont really know very well. then u have not much to say to them and all u do is like their pix and do small talk.

but not counting FB friends and just talking about ppl you actually know, talking on FB does not mean not meeting them in real life lesser and lesser.
that just doesn't make sense. i mean what abt the plans u come up with for the evening/wknd when chatting with friends on FB?

and how do u stay in touch with friends who are not in US or are in different states? you talk to them and then checkout their pix on FB.

if anything FB helps u stay in touch with everyone.

but its ez to blame FB for ...well different things

by Guest Sun Jun 24, 2012 4:06 pm

am talking about fairly close friends of many years. the kinds we spent every weekend and most evenings with before marriage/kids. Everyone gets so busy with work, kids, other family, that meetings have been happening lesser than before. and being on fb gave a false sense of being in touch, when it wasn't really the case. btw, i don't chat on fb.

maybe it's just my problem. am not that social to begin with.

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Sun Jun 24, 2012 5:04 pm

Natalia Romanova wrote:am talking about fairly close friends of many years. the kinds we spent every weekend and most evenings with before marriage/kids. Everyone gets so busy with work, kids, other family, that meetings have been happening lesser than before. and being on fb gave a false sense of being in touch, when it wasn't really the case. btw, i don't chat on fb.

maybe it's just my problem. am not that social to begin with.

Nothing beats a phone call once 3 to 6 months.

by Maria S Mon Jun 25, 2012 3:20 pm

When it comes to friendships..this is my perspective:

*Most friendships are superficial (whether one knows someone for 50 years or 5 weeks).

*In almost all Adult relationships familiarity breeds contempt (with rare exceptions). Giving people space to breathe..away from our words and physical presence (and pics/photo albums) helps.

*I suppose most people like to think of old friendships as unchangeable and somehow meeting them after years rekindles old feelings..it may do that for a few hours (or days!) but, if there is a long gap..without any keeping in touch..the novelty really wears off quickly.

Facebook, like most social connection-websites..is only good for general and impersonal (and polite)..interactions with old friends or strangers. That's it, imo!

I think making friends where one lives..getting to know/and being helpful to neighbors (which is amazingly not that much these days!) is important..but, the same thing about familiarity breeding contempt applies here as well.

by Hellsangel Mon Jun 25, 2012 3:23 pm

Maria S wrote: like most social connection-websites..are good for general and impersonal (and polite)..interactions.

Good Morning, Maria!

by Maria S Mon Jun 25, 2012 3:27 pm

Hello Angel! Hope you are having a good morning!

by Maria S Mon Jun 25, 2012 4:21 pm

Apparently, it's not only TMI, but can be TMT (Tech).

Facebook quietly unveils 'stalking app'

http://edition.cnn.com/2012/06/25/tech/social-media/facebook-find-friends-nearby/index.html?hpt=hp_c3

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