it's been four days

by MaxEntropy_Man Wed Dec 19, 2012 5:54 pm

after the tragic events in CT. how are you guys doing? i am not coping very well. even though i have stopped watching the news and read the paper once a day at most, the kids haven't left my thought for an instant. maybe i am prone to this sort of thing. it's a third person tragedy, and we are all bystanders, but it feels like it has hit so close to home.

by Guest Wed Dec 19, 2012 5:58 pm

MaxEntropy_Man wrote:after the tragic events in CT. how are you guys doing? i am not coping very well. even though i have stopped watching the news and read the paper once a day at most, the kids haven't left my thought for an instant. maybe i am prone to this sort of thing. it's a third person tragedy, and we are all bystanders, but it feels like it has hit so close to home.

i read, in parts, two books on the columbine incident and also read up on the virginia tech incident. i have also read extensively about whatever material i could find on adam and nancy lanza. i am approaching this issue as a psychologist would.

by MaxEntropy_Man Wed Dec 19, 2012 6:00 pm

yeah i wish i could be detached like that. not happening when you're a parent.

by Guest Wed Dec 19, 2012 6:01 pm

MaxEntropy_Man wrote:yeah i wish i could be detached like that. not happening when you're a parent.

it could also be that i am able to become detached because i took some courses in psychology when i was in college.

by MaxEntropy_Man Wed Dec 19, 2012 6:14 pm

lots of people have done courses in psychology, but it is hard to process when one is a parent. i am hardly alone in feeling this sense of absolute gloom and despair.

by doofus_maximus Wed Dec 19, 2012 6:20 pm

i ignored almost every news updates about the shooting after I heard and saw pictures from the first day. But the kids are constantly in my thoughts. Whenever I think of my kid, I think of the parents who will be missing out on all the joy. Monday morning dropping the kid off at the pre-school was the hardest for me. I kept imagining how the grieving parents were coping. Pretty tough and life changing for the parents. Hope they find some peace somewhere.

by Guest Wed Dec 19, 2012 6:21 pm

I'm still totally in CT. I didn't have the heart to ask son's teacher about celebrating his birthday in school on Monday. I still haven't asked.

I read everything and anything about it. Which kids were in what class. Where all did he go. Who survived how. Who did what. I could have a second by second account of it, and I'll still be wanting to process it.

Same about mother n son history. Any family history. I wanna know. Also about other shooters. Figure out whatever commonalities were in them. I'll get to the bottom of it somehow. My nerd partners in it are daughter and sis. And to some extent, K. We discuss all people we know in life who were like this as kids and what helped them not get pushed to new extent.

I want know what schools, people, government are doing to find out new potentials. When do you get help. Meds or no meds. I want to make sure kids know every possible way to save themselves. And me too.

And crazy it may sound, but I even feel like having one more baby. Dunno why it happens to me. Any loss of child that affects me a lot makes this urge stronger.

by Guest Wed Dec 19, 2012 6:26 pm

The mother and uncle of 6-year-old Noah Pozner delivered messages at his funeral reflecting on the life of the little boy killed in Friday's school shooting, and lessons to draw from his loss. People identifying themselves as reporters were not allowed into the service, but the family made transcripts available to The Associated Press. Here they are, in full:

From mother, Veronique Pozner:

The sky is crying, and the flags are at half-mast. It is a sad, sad day. But it is also your day, Noah, my little man. I will miss your forceful and purposeful little steps stomping through our house. I will miss your perpetual smile, the twinkle in your dark blue eyes, framed by eyelashes that would be the envy of any lady in this room.

Most of all, I will miss your visions of your future. You wanted to be a doctor, a soldier, a taco factory manager. It was your favorite food, and no doubt you wanted to ensure that the world kept producing tacos.

You were a little boy whose life force had all the gravitational pull of a celestial body. You were light and love, mischief and pranks. You adored your family with every fiber of your 6-year-old being. We are all of us elevated in our humanity by having known you. A little maverick, who didn't always want to do his schoolwork or clean up his toys, when practicing his ninja moves or Super Mario on the Wii seemed far more important.

Noah, you will not pass through this way again. I can only believe that you were planted on Earth to bloom in heaven. Take flight, my boy. Soar. You now have the wings you always wanted. Go to that peaceful valley that we will all one day come to know. I will join you someday. Not today. I still have lots of mommy love to give to Danielle, Michael, Sophia and Arielle.

Until then, your melody will linger in our hearts forever. Momma loves you, little man.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/17/noah-pozner-eulogy-newtown_n_2317621.html

it's been four days Noah+Pozner

by Guest Wed Dec 19, 2012 6:27 pm

I stayed out of tv and online news for the most part until now. Couldn't take it! Today morning, I finally watched the abc/cbs/cnn news clips online and looked at the sweet faces of those babies. Those faces are going to haunt me for a long time. Pretty depressing!

by Nila Wed Dec 19, 2012 6:29 pm

I can relate to it. Couldn't focus on work on Monday and was very disturbed, couldn't eat or drink. Kept myself away from watching TV - the videos can really get you.

Well, trying to cope up. We may never get to know what triggered this event and may not fully understand. It will take some time to move on.

by MaxEntropy_Man Wed Dec 19, 2012 6:30 pm

younger d needed a picture of herself when she was about five for a school project. we dug through some old pics and pulled out an absolutely adorable picture of d, looking very bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and up to no good. we (wife and i) looked at each other as she handed d the picture, and we both knew exactly what was going on in the other person's mind. what a horrible thought.

by Sandee2020 Wed Dec 19, 2012 6:39 pm

MaxEntropy_Man wrote:after the tragic events in CT. how are you guys doing? i am not coping very well. even though i have stopped watching the news and read the paper once a day at most, the kids haven't left my thought for an instant. maybe i am prone to this sort of thing. it's a third person tragedy, and we are all bystanders, but it feels like it has hit so close to home.

Schools in CT are worried now. Every school has a police officer on duty. Staff and students are scared now. Sometimes one has to blame the insurance company for all the restrictions in paying for emotionally and mentally handicapped students' psychiatric help. The mother of Adam had begun proceedings to have him committed to an institution. That's a reason given why he acted out in rage.

by Nila Wed Dec 19, 2012 6:45 pm

MaxEntropy_Man wrote:younger d needed a picture of herself when she was about five for a school project. we dug through some old pics and pulled out an absolutely adorable picture of d, looking very bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and up to no good. we (wife and i) looked at each other as she handed d the picture, and we both knew exactly what was going on in the other person's mind. what a horrible thought.

Yesterday we (H, dd, myself) went out for dinner. My eldest said he was preparing for the gift exchange and he will be happy to get a to-go.

On the way home we thought the same like...how horrible it is to lose; damn I don't want to type in the thought process. Wish there were a time machine...

After my Dad I always made sure I will have to be detached with everyone, I know. But I think I am not that detached.

by confuzzled dude Wed Dec 19, 2012 6:46 pm

Natalia Romanova wrote:

Same about mother n son history. Any family history. I wanna know. Also about other shooters. Figure out whatever commonalities were in them. I'll get to the bottom of it somehow. My nerd partners in it are daughter and sis. And to some extent, K. We discuss all people we know in life who were like this as kids and what helped them not get pushed to new extent.

I'm afraid this is the worst outcome of this ordeal, perhaps worst than the 26 lives lost, stigmatizing autistic people. Opportunistic media jumped all over it without even knowing the facts, looks like no one is sure of Adam Lanza's mental state, what he was going through.

by Guest Wed Dec 19, 2012 7:04 pm

confuzzled dude wrote:
I'm afraid this is the worst outcome of this ordeal, perhaps worst than the 26 lives lost, stigmatizing autistic people. Opportunistic media jumped all over it without even knowing the facts, looks like no one is sure of Adam Lanza's mental state, what he was going through.

Autistic or not, statistics show that a majority of psychopathic and sociopathic mass murderers are loners (there may be exceptions like Ted Bundi, but most of them are socially inept).

by confuzzled dude Wed Dec 19, 2012 7:12 pm

kinnera wrote:
confuzzled dude wrote:
I'm afraid this is the worst outcome of this ordeal, perhaps worst than the 26 lives lost, stigmatizing autistic people. Opportunistic media jumped all over it without even knowing the facts, looks like no one is sure of Adam Lanza's mental state, what he was going through.

Autistic or not, statistics show that a majority of psychopathic and sociopathic mass murderers are loners (there may be exceptions like Ted Bundi, but most of them are socially inept).

You just proved my point.

by Guest Wed Dec 19, 2012 7:14 pm

confuzzled dude wrote:
kinnera wrote:
confuzzled dude wrote:
I'm afraid this is the worst outcome of this ordeal, perhaps worst than the 26 lives lost, stigmatizing autistic people. Opportunistic media jumped all over it without even knowing the facts, looks like no one is sure of Adam Lanza's mental state, what he was going through.

Autistic or not, statistics show that a majority of psychopathic and sociopathic mass murderers are loners (there may be exceptions like Ted Bundi, but most of them are socially inept).

You just proved my point.

It is what it is!

by bw Wed Dec 19, 2012 7:30 pm

confuzzled dude wrote:
Natalia Romanova wrote:

Same about mother n son history. Any family history. I wanna know. Also about other shooters. Figure out whatever commonalities were in them. I'll get to the bottom of it somehow. My nerd partners in it are daughter and sis. And to some extent, K. We discuss all people we know in life who were like this as kids and what helped them not get pushed to new extent.

I'm afraid this is the worst outcome of this ordeal, perhaps worst than the 26 lives lost, stigmatizing autistic people. Opportunistic media jumped all over it without even knowing the facts, looks like no one is sure of Adam Lanza's mental state, what he was going through.

yes, autistic kids and kids with asperger's are all going to be viewed differently. that stupid woman and her blog contributed towards this.

by Guest Wed Dec 19, 2012 7:51 pm

confuzzled dude wrote:
Natalia Romanova wrote:

Same about mother n son history. Any family history. I wanna know. Also about other shooters. Figure out whatever commonalities were in them. I'll get to the bottom of it somehow. My nerd partners in it are daughter and sis. And to some extent, K. We discuss all people we know in life who were like this as kids and what helped them not get pushed to new extent.

I'm afraid this is the worst outcome of this ordeal, perhaps worst than the 26 lives lost, stigmatizing autistic people. Opportunistic media jumped all over it without even knowing the facts, looks like no one is sure of Adam Lanza's mental state, what he was going through.

No. we have someone with asperger's syndrome in the fam, so ya, we are probably more educated on this than many others. I meant kids who were very violent with sibs and parents. I have seen my friend's younger bro kick his mom in her tummy, and not just once. Back in the day they had consulted a psychiatrist about this problem. So we were discussing how he is now.

by nevada Wed Dec 19, 2012 8:13 pm

I am worried about safety. Who knows where the next psycho strike will happen.

by confuzzled dude Wed Dec 19, 2012 8:28 pm

bw wrote:

yes, autistic kids and kids with asperger's are all going to be viewed differently. that stupid woman and her blog contributed towards this.

She, inadvertently, did more damage than good to them, including her son. Wonder how this kid will react to all the unwanted limelight, he inevitably will be subjected to. Check this out, if you haven't already, she makes valid points.

On the Ethics and Implications of Outing a Child in the Media: The I Am Adam Lanza’s Mother Debacle

by confuzzled dude Wed Dec 19, 2012 8:45 pm

kinnera wrote:
confuzzled dude wrote:
kinnera wrote:
confuzzled dude wrote:
I'm afraid this is the worst outcome of this ordeal, perhaps worst than the 26 lives lost, stigmatizing autistic people. Opportunistic media jumped all over it without even knowing the facts, looks like no one is sure of Adam Lanza's mental state, what he was going through.

Autistic or not, statistics show that a majority of psychopathic and sociopathic mass murderers are loners (there may be exceptions like Ted Bundi, but most of them are socially inept).

You just proved my point.

It is what it is!

Take a look at this U.S. mass shootings in 2012

by Guest Wed Dec 19, 2012 8:59 pm

confuzzled dude wrote:

Take a look at this U.S. mass shootings in 2012

Ya, most of the guns used are legal. It isn't a big deal to get a gun legally in this country. Guns in the hands of mentally disturbed ppl are deadly. I'm all for gun control. I'm also all for non-denial of the role that mental illness plays in senseless violence. We need to accept that and address that problem too.

by confuzzled dude Wed Dec 19, 2012 9:02 pm

Natalia Romanova wrote:

No. we have someone with asperger's syndrome in the fam, so ya, we are probably more educated on this than many others. I meant kids who were very violent with sibs and parents. I have seen my friend's younger bro kick his mom in her tummy, and not just once. Back in the day they had consulted a psychiatrist about this problem. So we were discussing how he is now.

Thanks for the clarification, my comment may not be relevant to your post but majority of the nation seems to think so.

by pravalika nanda Wed Dec 19, 2012 9:49 pm

whoa guys, take it easy. i think you're overdosing on this news item.

it's part of life. you might not come back home alive from work. but there are 7 bn people and this event happened to just 26 people that day.

a few mos ago a pharma company release tainted steroid injections that killed 36 people. now that's bad cuz there were sane, well-educated people at the helm of that company that acted irresponsibly.

emotionally-ill people are unpredictable and if not guns he would've found something else to do, like set a fire.

i don't understand why little kids deserve more love than say old hags in the himalayas dying of frostbite; or fbi agents lying paparplegic in bed for 15yrs due to gunshot wound to the spine.

so relax, take it easy, do something useful.

by pravalika nanda Wed Dec 19, 2012 10:05 pm

Natalia Romanova wrote:I'm still totally in CT. I didn't have the heart to ask son's teacher about celebrating his birthday in school on Monday. I still haven't asked.

I read everything and anything about it. Which kids were in what class. Where all did he go. Who survived how. Who did what. I could have a second by second account of it, and I'll still be wanting to process it.

Same about mother n son history. Any family history. I wanna know. Also about other shooters. Figure out whatever commonalities were in them. I'll get to the bottom of it somehow. My nerd partners in it are daughter and sis. And to some extent, K. We discuss all people we know in life who were like this as kids and what helped them not get pushed to new extent.

I want know what schools, people, government are doing to find out new potentials. When do you get help. Meds or no meds. I want to make sure kids know every possible way to save themselves. And me too.

And crazy it may sound, but I even feel like having one more baby. Dunno why it happens to me. Any loss of child that affects me a lot makes this urge stronger.

**well, for today, just think of the miss universe pageant.

by Guest Wed Dec 19, 2012 10:18 pm

Miss india is already out

by MaxEntropy_Man Wed Dec 19, 2012 10:59 pm

pravalika nanda wrote:

it's part of life.

no it's not. that's crazy talk. getting shot up in a gun rampage is not part of life, and shouldn't.

by MaxEntropy_Man Thu Dec 20, 2012 2:50 pm

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/anderson-cooper-reads-sister-victim-letter-intended-obama-151325260.html

by Nila Fri Dec 21, 2012 3:12 pm

pravalika nanda wrote:whoa guys, take it easy. i think you're overdosing on this news item.

it's part of life. you might not come back home alive from work. but there are 7 bn people and this event happened to just 26 people that day.

a few mos ago a pharma company release tainted steroid injections that killed 36 people. now that's bad cuz there were sane, well-educated people at the helm of that company that acted irresponsibly.

emotionally-ill people are unpredictable and if not guns he would've found something else to do, like set a fire.

i don't understand why little kids deserve more love than say old hags in the himalayas dying of frostbite; or fbi agents lying paparplegic in bed for 15yrs due to gunshot wound to the spine.

so relax, take it easy, do something useful.

Little kids deserve more love coz when they grow up they don't end up as old hags in himalayas or hags who break fbi agents spines or hags who mindlessly worship pharma companies and risk others lives.

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